Pacifier and Sleeping Problems

Dori is right. You have to be on the same page with your husband for anything to work. I do not like to instigate conflict, but if the routine you currently have isn't working for you, then you have to figure out a new one. Evidently your husband doesn't notice the issues you are having, or believes them to be frivolous for some reason. Make him understand. If all else fails, YOU go sleep somewhere else. I'm sure he'll get a clue THEN. As for the paci, my daughter voluntarily gave hers up on her 2nd birthday. We gathered them all up in one big ziploc baggie and took them to the store where she traded them (bought) for some toys. You can speak to a clerk somewhere and pre-arrange it. Then, let her be the one in charge of the "transaction". Pre-buy some toys, leave them behind the counter with a clerk, then bring in your daughter to "barter" using her pacifiers. You can come back later to collect the leftover toys (if there are any). It doesn't have to be anything elaborate either... our daughter was content to trade every paci she had for cake toppers (Dora and Winnie the Pooh) from the Publix bakery. (the clerk there is where we got the idea!). But let HER do the negotiating and trading. Then, later, when she asks for it, remind her that she traded them for her new toys. (Maybe let one of the items be something she could substitute at bedtime as a comfort item- like a really soft plush animal?) My daughter was (and still is very "touchy-feely". She always pulled on my hair when she was nursing -the strands right at the base of my skull... and twisted them in her fingers. Now she is sensitive about elastic in her clothes, and she LOVES really soft plush stuffed dogs. (She is 7 yrs old).
Good luck. Whatever method you use to transition her to her own bed, don't try it without your husband on board. Have HIM do some research on it too... maybe he'll hit on something that will give him an "aha" moment!
Best wishes to you!

I have to "third" Dori's comments. You and your husband must present a united front. I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend the book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber. He is the director for the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders (Children's Hospital Boston) and the man knows what he is talking about. He is going to make you lose the paci, I know you don't want to hear that. His method may take up to a week to get her sleeping successfully (although I swear it only took my child one night). If your husband is not going to stick it out, do it when he is out of town on work, or send him out of town with the boys or something. Because consistency is essential when implementing. It might be painful while you're doing it because no one wants to see their child unhappy or upset or crying. But you are really doing them a favor in the long run and remembering this should help you get through. It really is best for them in the end. Good luck, and check out the book - you will NOT be sorry.

It's really important on this one that you and your husband are a united front. You need to find a nighttime routine/solution that works for your family and be consistent with it. If the pacifier is affecting her teeth then it is definitely time for it to go. Mine have never used one so I'm not sure if just getting them all out of the house and telling her they are all gone is the best solution. For some kids you have to go cold turkey. As far as sleeping, if the family bed isn't working for your family anymore then you have to take the time to develop a new nighttime routine that your family is comfortable with. You can just expect her to sleep in her own bed when all she knows is your bed. It just won't happen. She has to learn a new sleep routine and a new way to sleep and that takes time. Check out Dr. Sears book The Baby Sleep book. He has a section for toddlers and preschoolers.

Sippy cup that is spill proof with water at bed time! it worked for my kids! Plus you may need a special stuffed animal that she Has to sleep with or the animal will get scared by itself! Like playing mommy-she has to take care of her special stuffed animal! Good luck..
Kathy N.

I don't have any advice to tell you on how to stop it. I just wanted to tell you that my son has to hold on to my ear when he goes to sleep too. I thought it was sooo cute when he first started doing it but now he's three and his obsession with holding onto it is only stronger. Soo do whatever you have to do to get it to stop because as of now with my experience he hasn't grown out of it. Unfortunately I am the softy and not my husband. Good Luck and I hope you do a better job than I have.
~S.~

You need to sleep and she will only be this little once . . . Move her new bed into your room, stay with her until she is asleep and then go to your own bed. Let her have the pacifier for 6 more months when she understands better that it is leaving . . . give it to the "pacifier fairy" (as she will give it to new babies, right?) . . . giving it to Santa will work too if you want to wait longer. It will take 3 days of her asking for it, then she will not remember. Or . . . just take it away and have 3 bad nights.

HI,

How are you progressing? Your daughter's teeth may be shifting due to the pacifier and please realize--a sippy cup may be just as bad.

I am an orofacial myologist, I wrok with over bites and open bites due to oral habits. the shifting can be reversed with some simple excercises. Is your child able to sleep on her back?