Pacifier - Shrewsbury, MA

Hi L.,

My son, who is now almost six, loved, loved,loved his binky. He gave it up when he was three. We told him on the eve of his third birthday that he had to put the binky's under his pillow so that the "binky fairy" could come and take them for the new babies that needed them. That night I removed them from his bed and hid them from the entire family so no one could resort back to them out of a desperate attempt to sooth a temper tantrum. We never went back. Good Luck!

Hi - I see that someone suggested Christmas and I want to share what we did. My son was 3 1/2 when he finally gave up his binky and we told him that Santa needed it to give to all the new babies. So, on Christmas Eve we had someone dress up as Santa and he gave them to Santa himself. He asked about it after a couple of days and we reminded him he gave them to Santa and after about a week he stopped asking. Now his new baby brother uses a binky and he doesn't ever ask about the one he used to have. Hang in there! It may be a rough few days at first but stick with it and she will be fine! Good luck!

Hello L....
I am to dreading that awful binki problem but my friend just went through it and she explained to her daughter that there was many babies that needed binkis that were smaller than her and they didnt have them... SO they played this for a week and she kept asking her daughter when are you ready to give them to the babies?? and finally she said Friday... So that friday they got an envelope decorated it placed it in the mail box and then sent it away... THen in the morning there was a little small toy left for here and a thank you note from the babies and also some feathers and fairy dust int he mail box... Now her daughter is so proud of it and tells everyone!!!! Good luck!

Hi L.,
My daughter will be two in August and we are dealing with the same thing right now. We have limited her binky time to bed, car seat, and stroller (for long walks) but she loves her Binky and would have it in her mouth all day long if she could. I have heard several suggestions (none of which we have tried yet)that I can pass along.
1)Binky Fairy: all of the Binkies in the home are collected and placed in a special spot in wait for the binky fairy. She comes in the middle of the night and brings her binkies to another child who needs them very much. In return a very special gift is left. Child wakes in the morning with much anticipation and receives the new gift.
2)Child can buy a Gift at the toy store and pay with the binkies: THe child must give the whole bag of binkies to teh clerk in exchange for the item that they have chosen at the store.
3) Binkies float away: (not environmentally friendly) Each binky in attatched to a helium balloon and in a "ceremony" the binkies are let go one at a time to find a new home.
4)Lastly... Cold Turkey: We did this for the removal of "daytime" binky and it took about 3 days for her to stop screaming all day long but it did work in helping us limit the amount of time she had it. I feel like this method (and all of them actually) are hardest on the parent b/c when the child is screaming or awake at night it would be so easy to give in. But.... it does work and if there really are no binkies in the house it becomes really hard to give in.

Like I said, my daughter will be two in August (we are expecting a second in September) and I was planning to wait until she is two so that she can grasp the concept a little better. I feel like sending her binkies to "live with someone else" is a great idea but one that she will not understand yet. I am excited to see the other responses and get som ideas for myself!
C.

Hi L. ...
When we did this with our children, we "set a date" and made a big deal during the countdown ... we talked about being a "big boy" ... we also set up to have a "big boy" party the afternoon of "the date" ... it was actually sort of like a birthday party, but only with family members ... there were a few gifts, some balloons and a cake.
On "the date", our son collected all his binky's, said goodbye to them (very non-chalantly) and threw them in the trash. Everybody else said goodbye to them, too, and cheered and applauded my son.
It worked GREAT ... he did ask for it every now and then, but we reminded him they were gone now.
My older son gave them up on his own, too. We only did this with my younger son. I will say, though, he's a terrible fingernail biter now ... he's 10 now ... I don't know if that was a result of "losing" his binky before he was ready to or not. But my older son doesn't bite his fingernails at all.
Anyway ... good luck!!
Take care,
B.

The sooner you can break the binky habit the better off your little one will be dentally. I usually advise to put little pin holes in the nipple part right aroung the end closest to the lip shield. They no longer get satisfaction from the sucking and usually will give it up on their own. No more fighting. Make sure you make a big deal about how big and grown up she is and even have a binky fairy if you like. Some people like the binky fairy the best, hang the binky on a low branch of a bush, tree and swap it with a little present from the binky fairy over night. good luck

I have heard of people telling there child that the binky fairy is going to come and collect binkies for babies and will leave a present instead. That seems to work. : )

The only thing that I hear works best is cold turkey. Let her throw away all the binkys. Let her know she's now a big girl. I hear it's best to do it on a Friday night when you might be able to sleep in if she has a hard time. A few of my friends did cold turkey and sleeplessness lastest 2-3 days. Good luck!

Hi L.,
2-3 yrs. old is an appropriate time for our little cherubs to give up the binky. My entire family has done the balloon binky ritual and it seems to have worked for them all.
Prepare your child for a big celebration for giving up the binky, bake a cake, buy lots of balloons, tie the binkys to the balloons in the backyard and have the entire family around when your toddler lets the balloons go. Tell her the balloons will take the binkys to a little baby who needs them.
It's worth a try! Best of luck.

Hi L.,
You've gotten lots of ideas but I wanted to add ours. When my daughter (now age 12 1/2) turned three we had a bye bye suckie party for her "suckie" ON her birthday. We all sang happy birthday to suckie, we all wrapped it up in [left over from bithday gifts] wrapping paper and put it away. She was attached to it at the time but participated in the whole ritual and was FINE!! She asked once or twice about suckie the first few days, but I reminded her how we had wrapped up suckie said goodbye and it was never a problem. In fact, we took a look at suckie just a few weeks ago (still stuck in the back of the drawer I'd left it in 9 years before!!) A relative of mine who was there during our ritual (in her mid 20's) was impressed because her binky had been just taken from her at a young age and she still grieved the memory of the trauma. Good luck!!

Good for you - finding a way to keep the pacifier to only sleeping or resting times! My (now 6 yr old) daughter had a bag of them with her all the time!

Getting rid of them requires giving her something to replace them. You have to make a clear trade, and stick to it. A special animal that she knows in advance is a trade for the pacifier and can only have when she hands them over ... you have to really make a clear deal.

Prepare for a few days of trying to get out of the deal, and difficulty settling down, but it works. My daughter traded her pile of pacifiers for lip gloss (which I am not recommending) - it was something she wanted more than the pacifiers.

Good luck!

So the binky is a tough one, we just recently got rid of our 16 month olds and it was tough, we kicked ourselves for not doing it sooner as we had done with our oldest. However, we just decided one night to "get rid" of it and over two days she forgot about it and all is well. With your two year old, depending on how her understanding skills are, you could say that the "binky fairy" came and gave it to another baby or something clever like that. Or let her decide a day when she'll get rid of it on her own. Every child is different this of course you know but maybe her having control over the situation will make the transition a little bit easier. Good luck. :)

Hi L.,
Our daugher is 2.3 years old and we just took the binky away. We told her the binky fairy came. We actually let her pick a place to put all the binkies so the fairy could come and get them. She gathered them all up and put them on the kitchen tablbe. We wrote a note and left her a little present from the binky fairy. She has asked a couple of times for the binky since then, but we just remind her that the fairy came and took them. She is doing really well. Good Luck!!

When my daughter was 3 and moving into a BIG girl bed the binky fairy came to our house. We talked about it before and said that on that day we would leave the binky in a basket on the table (when we were out)and the binky fairy would come take the binky and leave a present. Much to my amazement it worked out great! Good Luck

my son would not give his up and he was turning 3, so I cut the ends off, it make them flat and unpleasant in the mouth, he was through with them in 2 days. Good luck!

My oldest daughter gave up her binky at 28 1/2 months. When she was ready, we wrote a letter to the binky fairy. That night the binky fairy came and took the binkies and left a present. She also moved in to a big girl bed that night. We had always told her that there were no binkies in big girl beds. It all worked great. She never cried over it and it was an unbelievably easy transition. She has also always been one who just "understands" things. My youngest is almost 23 months. She will probably be a whole different story, though...LOL!

Both my husband and I had to have braces so an overbite was already hereditary, therefore I didn't concern myself when my middle child didn't want to give it up. He was going to have braces in his future anyway, why take away something that obviously brought him joy. Couldn't see the point.

The way I saw it, he wouldn't go to college with it. The girl across the street turned 18 this past December and she had hers until she was 5 (perfect teeth). My son had his until he was 5, too. When he was 2 he said "I don't want to wear diapers anymore" and he was instantly potty trained, same thing with his Nuk, he just gathered them up and said, "Here you go, I'm done"

My best friend though had a good idea (that I never did). She took her 2 year old to the store and left them on the shelf for the new babies being born.

Me, I didn't have the heart, he loved it.

L.,
the binky fairy came to visit our house with my older daughter when she was 2 1/2 and my sone was jsut a baby but i do have to say looking back at it she was very difficult to go to bad after that so.... hind site being twenty twenty i would probably wait some more time and just keep it to sleeping and naps. sleeping is so important, why mess with it..., for everyone.

I just talked to someone about this the other day... my son (who is now 11) was VERY attached to his binky. When he turned 3, we just collected them all and told them we were bringing them to the hospital to give to the "new babies". He whined and asked for them for a while but eventually got over it. I would give him his favorite stuffed animal at bedtime to snuggle to help him get to sleep.
It's more the resiliance of the parents sticking to the plan than the kids! I say, just do it, be comforting & understanding that she will miss them, and offer an alternative to soothe her like a stuffed animal or favorite blanket.
Good luck!

Hello,
My best friend took the binky away from her daughter the Christmas she turned 3...they told her that Santa was collecting them to give to smaller kids who still needed them, and since she was a big girl he would be proud etc etc. On Christmas Eve they left it out for Santa, with cookies lol. The next morning she was excited that he had come and taken it, and left a "special" present in return...she has never asked for it again and she's 6!!!! You could probably use other things since Christmas is so far away still!!

My daughter was a binky freak, if I left the house without one we would buy one because the trantrum that would follow would be unbearable. With that in mind...she was about 2.5 and we I started talking about the binky fairy. We talked about it for about a week and that Saturday she gathered all the binkys in the house and put them in a basket for the binky fairy to give to all the babies that needed them. She hung the basket on the tree and we went inside. The fairy came and left her a special doll and some cupcakes. She did ask about her binkys after, but never any tears. We just reminded her that the fairy took them to all the babies that needed them.

Good Luck!
Sam
Mother of 3 - Devin 6, Donovan 5, and Mya 3

My daughter was 2 1/2 when she left her binkies out for the Easter Bunny. In exchange, she got eggs with blue M&Ms in them (what she wanted). It went smoothly. The biggest thing for us...and this worked for potty training too...was to just talk about how it was going to happen at a certain day...and even cross off days on the calendar so she could see when the day was approaching. Knowing when and what would happen helped her make the transition without a fuss. Good luck.

Hi L.,

My daughter is 4 and still takes her pacifier at night, when she was younger she had it 24-7. The pacifier never bothered me, but I would get a lot of unasked for advice about how to get rid of it, like tell her Santa took it (how awful is that?!!)or tell her all the stores ran out of pacifiers. Sorry I think that is mean and I wouldn't lie to my daughter to begin with. The pacifier is a way your daughter can comfort herself, let her decide when it is time to give it up, when other kids start saying things she will learn to let it go a little at a time. My daughter decided she was getting to big for it on her own and your daughter will too. It's up to you but really what is wrong with a little kid having a pacifier?

My daughter (now almost five) also loved her pacifier. When she turned two we told her that it was time to give her "paci" to a new little baby who needed one. We gathered them up and put them by the fireplace for the "Paci fairy" to come and get to deliver to all the new little babies. In return the "paci fairy" left her a special gift which was waiting for her the next morning when she woke up. My pediatrician gave me this idea and I was very sceptical but it worked wonderfully. My daughter was very excited about the idea and never really seemed to miss the pacifier at all. Good luck!

try the paci fairy.. put the paci in a box all decorated for a new baby who needs it, put it someplace special and go to bed, the next morning, they find a new present for them in place of the paci..

or.. just go cold turkey. what worked for us, we sent our daughter to a neighbors house to be babysat and we forgot the paci (we didnt' do it intentionally) and she went to sleep without it.. from then on, no problem..

or.. cut a small hole in it, once it doesn't work anymore, they may lose interest in it - that worked for my son.

good luck

HI L.- Someone told us about the "Binky Fairy". She comes when a kid is ready to give up their pacifier. She takes it away, and leaves a more "grown up" toy in it's place.
We told our twins about this fairy, and let them decide when they were ready to give it up. One was ready way before the other. With the second one, we had to push it a little, because their dentist was concerned about it pushing their teeth around. I think it was about 3 years (and at that point they only used it at night). So, when they felt ready, we put in a cup or bowl, in their bedroom window before going to bed. I snuggled with them to help them get to sleep, and in the morning they had a new surprise (like a book, or some other toy you'd like them to have, that they'd also like, so they feel big girls). Their were a few rough nights after that, but they didn't last long. Give it a try!

Hi L.,
My daughter absolutely adored her binky at age 2, but we decided that was about time to get rid of it. We expected a big struggle, but decided to try to make a fun transition. We prepped her for about a month, telling her whenever she had it that she didn't need it, she was a big girl and only babies needed binkies. Then we eventually told her about the "binky fairy" who collects binkys from big girls to give to babies who need them. She was enthralled! We had her put the binkies under her pillow, then just like the tooth fairy, they were replaced by morning with a little treat (I think it was a small stuffed animal). Worked like a charm! She was totally fine with it and felt good thinking that a baby was getting her trusty binky. Of course, we totally enjoyed throwing them in the garbage. ;) Good luck hope this helps!

C.

My nieces were still using their blankies the last time I saw them and the oldest was in second grade at the time. Now the oldest two only used them at home and when they really needed the comfort. So I don't know how easy it will be to get rid of it. Not sure how to get rid of it, I never got into that kind of thing. Just wanted to let you know it could be hard to get rid of.

Hi L.,

Our daughter also gave up her binky around age 2. We were motivated by the dentist letting us know that she really needed it to go away by the age of 2 if we wanted to save her future smile! Start slowly--she never gets it during the day. Then, cut back at naptime (which will get her used to not having it for sleep), then at bedtime. She's old enough to understand if you say you can't find it. She may be upset and there might be a night or two that are tricky for you, but we were surprised how quickly she didn't need it.

I also heard of someone who helped her child bury them in the garden. The next day, they had "grown" into flowers!

Hi L.!
I have a funny little story about a friend of mine in the same situation several years ago with her son. Don't know if it will help you or not but it is cute. Anyway, we lived on a barrier island off the coast of North Carolina back then and it was hurricane season. A hurricane was on it's way and we had to evacuate. When my friend's family left their home the realized they left without their son's pacifier. When they made it through the night at a shelter without it my friend decided to seize the opportunity to get rid of the pacy for good. As they were riding home the next day they talked about all the damage from the wind and how strong the wind of a hurricane was. When they got home she sneaked into the house while her husband was getting their son out of the car and dumped the basket of pacifiers in the trash!!! The first thing her son wanted to see was the basket and "oh my...the hurricane blew all the pacifers away!" He never asked for it again.

I've also had friends who've "donated" them to sick babies, or the new baby if one is coming in the family. Also you could try making it not so fun for her to have it. If you use it for bed time only tell her she can have it when she asks for it but she has to go to bed because she can only have it at bedtime. And maybe she really is tired when she asks for it at other times.

We went through the same thing. They need to let it go themselves, but you can encourage them. We began explaining to our daughter that she was getting bigger and big girls do not use pacifiers. I told her I was not going to buy her anymore "nuks" and the ones she had was all she had. She knew that when the nuks began to change color and get holes, they had to go into the garbage. I always allowed her to throw the nuk away and say goodbye to it. With time the last nuk she had got a hole in it.(she would chew them) She woke up one morning and told me her nuk had a hole. She walked over to the garbage can and threw it away saying, "Bye nuk!" No tears, no struggles. She was ready, and with encouragement she understood it was time. I was not willing to take it away cold turkey, that is cruel in my opinion, it is a security for some kids. Good luck, hope this helps.

My two younger children adored their pacifiers. When they turned 3, the pacifier fairy (my kids called them a 'doo' so in respect we had the 'doo fairy) came and took the pacifier away and left a present.
One child cried himself to sleep at nap and at night for 2 and a half days. My daughter had no tears but did ask for it a few days.

Like you, I began phasing it out first...it could be had for sleeping, resting on the couch or in the car. Then only in bed (no more watching tv with it, no more in the car... If he/she wanted it they had to be on the bed... they became bored with that during the day.

Good luck!
L.