Pacifier! - Saint Petersburg,FL

Hi there,

Both of mine boys gave theirs up to Santa Claus. A little before Christmas we talked about how Santa needs Pacifiers for other tiny babies and that if we leave them for Santa on Christmas Eve he would leave a special present under the tree. They would help me on Christmas Eve wrap them all up nicely for the other kids and leave them under the tree. In the morning they were gone and presents were there. Neither of them asked for a pacifier again.

Honestly, just take it one day and when she looks for..you look too.
Just never find it....come up with games to distract her. She may just give up the "search".

It worked for my daughter. She just gave it up. This however may be one of those freak happenings...she's an easy kid.

Good luck

I've had friends have good luck with creating an arbitrary event around which to give up the paci. For instance, one mom had her daughter gather up all her pacifiers to "give" to a new baby. Of course the baby didn't really use the old pacifiers, but for the girl it was a symbolic and literal gesture. Another mom framed it around a move to a new house: at the new house, we don't have any pacifiers. Pick something you know your daughter will relate and respond to and then have her be an active part of the giving up process; then when she asks for a pacifier afterward, you have something concrete to refer to. "Remember, you gave your pacifiers to the new baby. He needs them now because he's a baby; you're a big girl now!"

Again, this is second hand advice, so I'd be interested in advice you get from people who have gone through it themselves.

Sorry to tell you this, but any way you go about it is not going to be easy for a couple of days. Just pick a 72 hour window with no big changes or travel planned, throw the paci in the trash (all of them) just before the trash man comes (so neither of you can change your mind or go back), and know that her misery will pass and soon be forgotten (yours too!). It will not be easy, and there will probably be tears involved, but hang in there. When you are ready to pull your hair out, just think of the time, money and tears you are saving in dental bills, orthadontics, speech therapy (yes the paci can delay speech and interfears with muscle development needed for speech).

My daughter was the same age and I thought she was attached to the pacifier. I read an aritcle about the pacifier fairy so I gave it a try and it worked!! We told her to leave her pacifier in a specific place for the babies that really needed a pacifier and that the pacifier fairy would leave her a present. We left her something small and she never asked for the paci again. Kind of like the tooth fairy, but on a two year old level. I didn't expect it to be so easy, but I guess I was more attached to the thing than she was. Good luck!!

I have two suggestions. My son just outgrew his but I had a couple friends that did the following.

One cut the end of the bulb off the paci so that when the tot went to use it, it wasnt the comfort or enjoyable... so it was said that oh that is too bad. It is broke and we will just have to throw it away. Setting the tot up to know that this is the last one etc will help too.

Another one, gathered up all the pacis in a bag to give to the "fairies" who give the pacis to the babies who need them. Since she is a big girl, the fairies are waiting for hers etc.... Not sure how well this would work but she had used it.

Hope this helps.

Denise
Working mom of a sweet and easy-going 8 yr old boy and 7 months pregnant with my 2nd son (after 6 yrs of trying). Married to their dad for over 17 yrs now - :)

I'll give you 2 options that worked for my family ...

My sister and her husband told my neice that on her 3rd birthday, the Pacie Fairy was going to come while she was asleep and take all of her pacies, but she would leave her a brand new kitchen set. They told her this weeks before her birthday to prepare her. She did stress over it, and they did have to search high and low the week of her birthday to find all of the places she had hidden pacies... She kept saying she didn't need a new kitchen set and they can tell the pacie fairy that, but they said it wasn't up to them. The night before her birthday, she did cry, knowing it was the last night she would have a pacie. But the next morning, she was surprised and excited to find that at least the fairy followed through on her promise and left a new kitchen set!! For a week or so afterwards, she would tell her mom that she was so mad at the pacie fairy for taking her pacies, and the BEST part about it was my sister could go along with her and say she was mad, too!! My neice blamed the fairy and never got mad at her parents because she "knew" it was out of their hands!!

We don't "do" Santa or anything like that, so for my daughter, it was different. She was totally addicted to pacies-- one in her mouth and one in each hand at all times!! We had a friend who was pregnant, so we told her when the new baby came that he would need some pacies so she needs to give them to him since she is a big girl now. Once she saw and met the baby, she realized how helpless he was and truly what a big girl she is and she actually happily gave up her pacies (for him)!!

Sucking a thumb or pacifier indicates that cranial bones are misaligned- force her to give up the pacifier and you could end up with a thumb sucker as a re placement- the body tries to correct the cranial bones- in fact there is an adjustment that actually has the patient suck on something while being adjusted-
check with International Chiropractic Pediatric Assn for a referrral and get this fixed- then the reason will be gone.
best, k

Well you can just toss it out and let her cry over it. Or you can do what my sister in law did. She actually had a going away party for the pacifier. We all thought she was crazy when she said she was doing it but we all went anyway. It was sort of like a Birthday party. She asked us to bring a small gift. I purchased a plate, cup and bowl that had a princess on it for her. Others got panties, a new blanket, pillow case, etc.... All things to help with the transition. There was a cake that said I am now a big girl on it. Also my sister in law had a special box for the pacifier and had my neice put the pacifier in the box and we all went outside with her to burry it in the ground. After the party my neice was so excited about all the special gifts she never asked for another pacifier.

I didn't read the other posts before responding, so I hope I won't be redundant.

I would say just let it be. My dentist told me that it really doesn't do any harm unless they're using it when their adult teeth start to come in, so you have lots of time! Ask your dentist if you are worried (really) about that. I will say my son's teeth showed some effect (only noticable to me), but as soon as he stopped they went back to "normal".

My son was a very hard to console toddler, and his "binky" gave him a way to calm himself down. I realized that my problem with the binky was only because other people thought he shouldn't have it. Once I realized that I don't have to worry about what other people think, and that they didn't have to live in my house, I pretty much relaxed and let it go.

Eventually he gave it up (still a little reluctantly) and once he did that he was done, because it was his decision. I will say we gave it to the "binky fairy" who was supposed to give it to a baby who needed it. In hindsight I'm not sure we should have lied about it, but at the time it seemed OK and it mirrored what we did with our other son.

If she likes it and it really doesn't bother you, why rock the boat? I will say if you decide to let her keep it, don't then chide her or shame her about it (not that you would). Let it be a decision you make and are OK with.

If you decide you still don't want her to have it, use some method another poster used and she'll probably be over it in a couple of days. ;>

Good luck!

She is old enough to explain things to her. Start with rules. The paci is for bed only. My daughter had a small box next to her bed that we put the paci in. When we had ner 2 birthday someone showed up with a glow worm and said this is a big girl trade for the paci box. You may try if you leave your pacis in the box the paci ferry is going to come and leave you something. She just needs some coaxing that it is time for the paci to go. I have heard that some people cut a small whole in it and then the paci has no comfort value. Good Luck!

Sorry for the length of my response, but I included details of our process in case you decided to try it.

Just remember you have to be ready to go through the process more so than her because you have to be ready to respond to her needs with patience but without the binky. No one but you needs to be the one to decide this. I've had family members telling me that my daughter needed to get rid of the binky since before she turned one. The binky went away when my husband and I were ready. We chose to do it over a weekend in case we had a sleepless night or two.

My daughter will also be two and a half in December. She had a visit from the Binky Fairy about six weeks ago. Since then, she has asked for the binky one time after which I reminded her the Binky Fairy had it and she went to sleep after a round of other excuses. She has a routine of excuses to get mommy or daddy back into her room but this was going on before the binkies went away. Here's what we did...

I got prepared first. I started talking to my daughter about how big girls don't have binkies. I bought a small, stuffed Mickey Mouse, a character that she loves! I wanted the Binky Fairy to leave something that she could sleep with since she wouldn't have the binky to go to sleep. I put it in a decorated gift bag with a note from the Binky Fairy, thanking my daughter for the binkies, telling her what a big girl she was and that Mickey was for her to sleep with now.

On the day of the visit, we sat down and talked about the Binky Fairy coming to visit and that the Binky Fairy needed more binkies to give to babies that didn't have any. We talked about what a big girl she was now. We got a big box and decorated it up with ribbon. Then she took a crayon and "wrote" the binky fairy a note asking her to give the binkies to a baby that didn't have any. She put the binkies and the note in the box. Then we put the box in her bedroom so the Binky Fairy could find it.

We got ready to leave on an outing. While my husband put our daughter in the car seat, I went back in for "something I forgot". I put the gift bag and note in place of the the binky box, threw the binkies in the trash where she couldn't see them and put away the box they were in. There was no going back now.

Our outing involved a lot of activity so my daughter was very tired on the way home and had fallen asleep. This was done so she would go to sleep easier. Unfortunately, she woke up when we put her to bed. She was crying for the binky and wouldn't go back to sleep. We let her get up and after mommy read the note from the Binky Fairy, she unwrapped the present. She went back to sleep with Mickey in arms.

As I stated earlier, she has asked for the binky only once. I've discovered that she has to stay on a good schedule for naptime and bedtime in order for there not to be too much drama now that the binky is gone. If I put her down for a nap after her normal time, there is a lot of crying and fussing. She doesn't ask for the binky but she wants other things.

Now when she goes to sleep, we give her choices of who she wants sleep with, Mickey or her teddy bear, Mickey or Elmo, Elmo or her stuffed puppy, etc. This gives her control with limits that are acceptable to us but the decision is ultimately hers. Our Binky Fairy was successful. I wish you well with whatever you decide to do. Good luck!

Hi R.,
I hated having to go through taking our son's pacifier away, I think I was more dependent on it than he was. It was my problem fixer. But once we decided to get rid of it, it wasn't so bad. There are a couple things that I know have worked for me, as well as a couple of my sisters. For our son, we first replaced his pacifier with a sippy cup of water at night. He would have to take the pacifier out to drink. As he got used to having the sippy cup we snuck out the pacifier. Eventually he forgot about it. Having a sippy cup at night hasn't affected his potty training so far either. For one of my sisters they did a bye-bye pacifier party. They picked a date, planned a party, had a couple of balloons, some ice cream, all the while explaining to her child with excitement that on this date thats when the pacifiers go bye-bye. I think my sister also had a gift for my niece too with a new toy for her. You could even take her to the store and let her pick out something out in place of it. My niece did really well with this. Another sister used Garbage day to help her out. My nephew was really into trash trucks so they made it an exciting day and let the garbage man take it. They waved good bye and went and got a new toy. For her daughter, my sister took it away as a punishment after she dumped a huge thing of baby powder all over their master bedroom. And that was that. Not sure if you've tried these or even think it's something you would want to try. But maybe it will sparks some ideas. Best of luck to you.

Hi R.,
I have 2 daughters who both had the pacifier. My first we didn't take it from her until she was THREE which I think was a mistake. The older they are, the stronger willed they are. With her we did cold turkey, we had her put them all in a bag and bring them to the Easter Bunny so he could give them to the "baby bunnies". When we got home there was a suprise from the Easter Bunny for her. This was fine until bedtime which was AWFUL. She screamed and cried like I had taken her best friend away from her and had I had any extras in the house somewhere I definitely would have caved in. It only lasted one night though, and she was done with it. I would not go that route again, it broke my heart.
With my second child, I just cut the tip of the pacifier off a little more each day, this worked VERY WELL with her (she was under 2 at the time). Finally there was no tip left and she still asked for it at nap and bedtime but she just held it in her hand for a few weeks. Finally she stopped asking for it. THat way was painless for all of us :) I think the key with whatever you choose is just staying consistent and strong.
Good luck!!!

I feel your pain! My 2 year old is about to be 3 in two weeks. She has always been very attached to her paci. I, too, didn't want her to be 3 and still have it, so a few months ago I just told her that big girls, like her, don't use them so she was going to have to say bye-bye. I was tough and just wouldn't let her use it unless it was to sleep (nap or night-time) or in the car. To my surprise, she agreed and has done terrific with it.

I don't know when I'll take the next step and be rid of them altogether, but I'm not really concerned at this point because she uses it when she sleeps, but it always falls out pretty quickly and she doesn't wake up wanting it, and she doesn't always use it in the car either, so it's just not a battle worth fighting at this stage. I'm pretty sure she'll give it up on her own soon.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

My daughter, newly 3 years old, still uses one for naps and bedtime. I swear this is the only way she'd settled down for a nap. My philosophy is this: "would I force her to not suck her thumb (or cut it off/remove it) if she were a thumb sucker?" Obviously not. She'll stop when she's ready. Stick to the sleeping only rule though. I'm hoping that once she drops her naps, she'll also drop the binky. Also, I've never seen a kindergartner with a binky so why make a big deal.

time for RULES.
paci is for the BED ONLY.
that's IT.

then slowly work on getting it away.

Hi, we took my daughter's away a few months before she turned two. We were going to England to visit family, she had it on the plane, then once we got there and she asked for it, we told her it was on the airplane. She just accepted that. Since she was in a new place she was fine. I think they will accept things if you tell them like it is fact. She would ask then say before we could "airplane" so she knew. We let her have it on the airplane on the way home (mainly for the benefit of the other passengers) then took it away again once we landed. She asked about it for the first week when we got back, now never mentions it at all. It really wasn't bad at all, way easier than I thought it would be, and she slept fine without it, even though she always had them with her before this. I really think cold turkey is the best way, because out of sight out of mind, just make sure she doesn't find them and she will be fine I promise!

When we try to have my son (now 18) give up his pacifier when he was around 2 1/2 years old, nothing was working till one day i saw a bird in the park with like pigeons so i told my son that this mom needed the pacifier for her babies... after a few days he decided to give the bird mom his pacifier with a big smile in his face. It worked as a charm! he never use a pacifier again.
Good look!

This is what I did with my girls becuase they too wanted 3 of them at one time to rotate. I limited it to the bed only. Naptime and bedtime was when they could have them. I had to be strong and they learned the rules very quickly. Tantruming, screaming and crying...just ignore it. I had a paci shelf and when they woke up, they gladly put it on the shelf after a few days. Good luck, be strong for your girl. Oh, and one needed braces and one didn't...lol. The one that didn't had hers till age 3.6!!

I was having major problems with my son's binky use; well actually it was more along the lines of a binky addiction!! My friend absolutely raved about the cut method, and all of the psychology behind it. She found it on www.bye-bye-binky.com , which is great that it was also free. We went with it and OMGosh... worked so beautifully for my son with NO tantrums, not even one! Thank you God. Five days later he did not want anything to do with his binky. What a relief it was to all of us to finally be done with those darn binkies. Highly recommended! I am also interested in others experiences.... B.

Hi R.~ When it was time for our son to give up his binkies what we did was, when one would get lost we just wouldn't replace it. When the last one 'dissapeared' we searched for it with him but it was 'gone'. We had a few rough nights afterwards but nothing horrible.

I just read on a my mommies group on FB that someone took their daughter & her binkies and had her put them in a Build-A-Bear animal. So that's another option.

Hope you find a good solution that works for you. Good luck!