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The guy may be mental, so THAT'S why you tell your son. You need to think about not just you, but your son's safety as well. He lives there and if the guy showed up, he could hurt HIM (your son). So he needs to know about this guy in advance.

Stop walking the dog over there. He feels threatened by you.

Give your son some credit for having a brain. He'll know not to go bother him. But what he WILL do is find out who he is and tell people so that if something happens, the guy will be a suspect.

Dawn

As a retired police officer, I suggest that he's just a grouch; neither mental or criminal. I would be cautious around him, ie. not try to talk with him or get close to him. But I wouldn't worry about his being mental or criminal. He's probably just a grouch.

I urge you to talk with your son about this. He may have more insight that will calm your fears. I also think having your son talk with him, out of uniform and as a civilian, when he can do so casually, is a good idea. By doing so he'll get a feel for what kind of person he is. Have your son be neighborly.

I always suggest getting to know your neighbors. If this were happening to me, even before I was an officer, I would've stopped and asked him point blank what the matter was. I would be polite but direct. I'd say, you sound angry and I want to know if I should avoid you or are you just having a bad day? Did I misunderstand you? Maybe you weren't talking to me. I don't want to have ill feelings with my neighbors. That sort of thing.

You can choose to live in fear or to face the situation and get it resolved. If he replies with more hostility you'll know to avoid him on your walks.

I suggest that the tennis shoes and the hammock may just be coincidences. It sounded like you were saying the shoes may have been there for some time.

I might also talk with him about the hammock. I'd say someone cut our hammock. Have you seen anyone lurking around our house? It's a neighborly thing to let your neighbors know when things like this happen so that they can protect their property. This would be a good opening for your son to begin his casual conversation with the man.

You'll know more about who he is and whether or not you have something to fear by trying to communicate with him. Let your son make an evaluation based on his training and experience. Retaliation is not likely to happen but if it does, then you have something with which to deal.

It's highly unlikely that he'll attempt to injure you. He didn't threaten you, after all. He could've said, talk to me again and you'll be sorry. Then you'd know to not talk with him and be fairly certain there won't be a problem because you're not going to talk to him again.

I also suggest you were, unintentionally egging him on. I probably wouldn't have said anything more after his "you don't have to talk with me if you don't want to." I'd say "sorry to have interrupted you" and walked off. I might say something like, I'd just say I thought you were talking to me and I'm sorry to intrude. "What cha want" said in a nice tone is still getting into his business especially if he weren't talking to you and he is a grouch.

Again, the choice is yours. Face this and find out who he is about or live in fear.

BTW even if he does have a mental illness he is probably not dangerous.

i'm glad you let max move in.
can't for the life of me figure out why you're afraid to tell your son. he's a trained professional, he KNOWS how to confront someone appropriately.
you have also have the benefit of a trained professional police dog.
it's kind of insulting to your son, who sounds amazing, to assume he's too undisciplined and untrustworthy to be able to do his job.
khairete
S.

How about this. Invite your son to go on a walk with his mother and her dog. That way he can observe the man himself. You can mention the hammock and stuff of course. If something does happen he needs to know that there are possible issues.

I imagine the man is schizophrenic and is talking to the voices or hallucinations. It may be he is a verbal person who can work through issues by talking out loud.

I would ask around and find out what the past history is about this guy. He may be harmless and he may have been caught torturing animals.

You son could also check him out in a non invasive way to see if he has a criminal record or a history of mental commitments. Either way you go, he is acting odd and it could lead to other things. Son should know. If nothing more than to tell you the man is harmless.

Well, yes I agree that Max is a huge asset, just make sure you always keep him close and I probably wouldn't venture out into the back woods without him. I would also tell your son. He may or may not speak to him, in fact, he probably wouldn't just based on what you've written here, but it's a good idea to let your son know of his weirdness. Your son needs to keep an eye out too and maybe he's noticed other odd things but hasn't put two and two together. Keep the communication open with your son, just tell him that you're afraid of retaliation and you don't want him to do anything about this issue, just know about it.

I do not understand at all, why you don't want to tell your son. From the perspective of the guy (mental or drugs?) what is there to tell? He spoke to you. That's it. He didn't threaten you or DO anything. So what would he care if you mentioned the encounter to your son? And how would he even know? Your son isn't going to listen to your story and march back to the rear of your property and call the guy out. Is he?
Noooo.... he's going to make a mental note. He's going to maybe see what he can find out about the person(s) living at the rear of your property. He's maybe going to take Max for a walk himself. He's maybe going to mention it to the appropriate parties and have patrols stepped up if any encounters of a threatening nature happen. He's going to BE AWARE and ALERT, rather than clueless about something that obviously has you on edge.

I am in no way saying you shouldn't be concerned or that your suspicions aren't valid---only that the guy (so far) has done nothing of a criminal nature that he could be charged/prosecuted for, that you know of or are a witness to.
Perhaps he has gotten comfortable with the "privacy" he has been afforded by your woods/grassy area and has been doing something he shouldn't back there. Maybe illegal, maybe not. Maybe perverted. Who knows. But you have recently "intruded" in this space (that is YOURS) and he seems to feel like it's HIS space.

Your son needs to know.

And if you continue to "reclaim" your space, the guy will hopefully make other arrangements to do whatever it is that he treasures his privacy about.

In the meantime, keep a list of events (that may or may not be related---your son may even have his OWN list that YOU aren't aware of.... ), take mace and a cell phone with you when you walk or go near the rear of your property, lock your doors/windows at all times, try not to keep a "regular" schedule that is visible to others (i.e., lights off at 10 pm sharp every night, shades up at 7 am every morning, 7:30 am morning constitutional with Max, etc). Mix up your schedule a bit. Don't be predictable.

What in the world sort of retaliation would you expect from simply telling your son about a strange (on both sides) conversation with a neighbor who wasn't threatening you while he was on his own property? He didn't infringe on your privacy, but you infringed on his. And what you believe you said nicely may not have been interpreted that way by him, especially if your body language was very tense.

You're also assuming that this neighbor is the one that tossed shoes onto your property and cut your hammock when it could very easily have been teens wandering around in the woods. Remember that each time you've come across this neighbor, you said yourself that he's been on his own property.

Anyway, tell your son about the instances that have happened and let him reassure you about what's gone on. Let him handle it. He sounds like a reasonable son with a good head on his shoulders.

I would mention it to your son. He could find out there name and just do a background check on them to ease your mind. He doesn't need to confront them but, I would take advantage of knowing who it is that is living behind you.

Whether or not you tell your son, you will be afraid of this guy. At least he should know that you have support. I won't call him a predator or any kind of criminal--yet--but people who intend to do harm to you usually count on you keeping it a secret. That works in their favor.

Express your concerns to your son. As a law enforcement officer, he should either know the appropriate approach or research the appropriate approach. He likely wouldn't just walk over there and say, "Hey, dude, I'm not always here, but my mom told me that she feels threatened by you, so leave her alone."

Max is a shepherd or lab right? Not a chihuahua. I would be more afraid for any person who tries to confront you.
You are in his pack, his instinct will be to protect you.
And defintely tell your son. Someone cut down your hammock, he's going to have to rehang it.

Hard to say, but he does sound disturbed...
I'd be scared too.
I'd just be aware of him, and maybe change up my walking schedule a tad.
Retaliation is always scary, I have to deal with that kind of thinking all the time since I'm an apartment manager to a BUNCH of crazy people. It is scary. I do my best to keep my nose out of things when I know the person is volatile.
Any way you can go to their front door and introduce yourselves to that family... maybe it would help?
gulp. Don't know what else to suggest at this juncture.

I am like you, I would feel nervous about this guy! Not sure I would walk in the woods anymore, can you walk on the road instead? Bring your cell phone with you when you walk...just in case you need to call for someone. (I also watch too many crime investigative shows)
I do believe in trusting your instinct and I think that you should trust yours!

I would let your son know...he needs to be aware just in case something happens! Also don't walk anywhere unless someone knows where you will be. Take a cell phone and I would pick up some mace or pepper spray! Better safe than sorry! Document everything! Just make a note on your calendar.

Updated

I would let your son know...he needs to be aware just in case something happens! Also don't walk anywhere unless someone knows where you will be. Take a cell phone and I would pick up some mace or pepper spray! Better safe than sorry! Document everything! Just make a note on your calendar.

I am absolutely astounded that some replies say, "just rely on your dog for your personal safety." Um, no! You most definitely need to tell your son what occurred and then you need to take steps to keep yourself safe. Your intuition is telling you that something about that man is not right. Most likely you are right!

I would stop walking out there and I would encourage my son (or another officer may be more appropriate) to keep an eye on things. I don't think they have any reason to approach the man, but be sure to keep a record of the shoes, the hammock incident and anything else that occurs. Most definitely keep your doors locked and stay alert, especially if you decide to continue your walks. Take a cell phone, and any kind of personal safety device with which you are comfortable.

Perhaps you may think I'm paranoid, but too many women talk themselves out of their intuitive feelings, or don't want to hurt someone's feelings, or are afraid of retaliation and those women are the ones that become VICTIMS. Please do not be one of those women. Trust yourself and never be afraid to stand up to or question something that doesn't seem right. Stay safe!

Do you have motion lights, alarm system? Carry pepper spray and your cell phone at times you go walking. Maybe he is just a grumpy old man. But just be aware of your surroundings.

Can you have your son check his background without anyone else knowing? If that's possible, I'd do it.

I would also get a motion detector light for the back yard and one of those "fake" surveillance cameras put up in a couple of places, particularly facing the neighbor's yard/house.

I would probably change my walk routine so I avoid that little area where you see him. Walking with pepper spray might not be a bad idea (where ever you live) Labs can be surprisingly protective, especially a narcotics dog. If you were to be approached I am sure that Max would turn into a totally different dog. Narcotics dogs are trained to attack, lab, sheppard etc they go through rigorous training. You can let your son know what happened I dont think that would create a need for confrontation but at least he knows what happened. Tell your son he doesnt need to contact this guy, yet and just that he was very rude and you are going to change your walking routine. PS Im glad you took on the dog :)

He might be sleep walking or on drugs. I would make sure you had some pepper spray or even a tazor gun and have your son explain how to use them incase he does attack you ....or anyone else for that matter. Most likely the trained dog is wepon enough. But the guy might just be crazy.

Well definitely don't tell your son. There is nothing worse than an off-duty cop going to talk to a neighbor - they inevitably bring a gun and nothing good comes of it. Sorry, but I will just never understand why an off-duty cop feels it necessary to carry a loaded weapon at all times!

And besides, what would you tell him, that the guy said "none of your business" to you. Sounds like the tattling of a small child. The guy was not on your property; he did not do anything illegal or even frightening that I can tell. He simply told you to mind your own business.

FYI, even if your dog is not an attack dog, he would still have a "reaction" if he sensed danger were near so I would watch the dog for any reactions.

I would be very careful about going out walking and would tell my son because he could easily run a criminal check on him for your peace of mind. People will snap in a minute and he could be watching what you do so he knows your habits. He probably knows when you are alone, etc. It is best to be careful for nothing and a lot of times our intuitions are trying to tell us something.

Even if you chose not to tell your son (which I think you should, BTW) then you should document EVERYTHING- the shoes, hammock, conversation. At the very least, someone is trespassing on your property. Keep an extra eye out and maybe leave some outside lights on at night. Make sure all your windows and doors are locked at all times, because you DONT know if you are dealing with a psycho or a criminal (or both).

You do have the dog, and mastifs are big, but are known to not be mean. Gentle giants. I would worry more abut the lab, myself! LOL!