Creepy Neighbor. Help?

I would definitely feel uncomfortable with those folks, especially since they have made sexual propositions. I wouldn't want them near my kids, either! Moving is a pain, however I think getting away from the atmosphere they are creating would definitely be worth it. Good luck looking for a new place...

1. Start looking for somewhere else to live
2. Get a big scary protective dog
3. Do you have any male relatives/ friends (more than one) who could pay him a visit?

They sound insane, and it's no use engaging with insanity.

Please keep hornet spray at each door and on your bedroom table. You can shoot that stuff from 20 feet away and aim for the face if he forces his way in. I'm not kidding. Hornet spray is an effective and accurate weapon if needed.

Blessings and please file a police report.

L.

Block them on facebook. LIE to them when they ask - tell them you decided that facebook is boring and you cancelled yours.

Start looking now for another place to live. You just HAVE to move. If you own the house, rent it out.

It's the only thing you can do.

Why is it that slashing your tires isn't a crime? It is.

Move! They sound psychotic. That means that nothing is off the table for their behavior or the lies and havoc that could ensue if they wanted to make your life really miserable.

There is nothing short of death that would make me stay a min more! do not tell your forwarding address.

Take down the Facebook. Someone will believe there is more to your relationship. If you have to, make another one in a different name.
You should have told your landlord by now.

ETA: you can not outsmart crazy. You can out crazy, crazy but that would make you, well, crazy! The best you can do is drop off the face of the Earth, as far as they are concerned. Make sure your landlord understands he is not to reveal your forwarding address, ditto, the electric and any other tenets.

when i first starting reading this i thought 'what's up with C. today?'
i mean, who DOESN'T want a place with a full-sized waterfall where they can live in faery garb?
but the fairytale didn't last. these people aren't quaint, they are every bit as creepy as you think they are. they are scary creepy.
if you can't report him, you can't keep yourself safe from them. moving sucks, but in this case it's by far the best choice.
khairete
S.

What do the police and landlord suggest you do? Have you tried their suggestions? What happened?

I suggest that either you have to be brave and consistently tell them no in a firm way or you have to move. When you make nice and go along with themyou are telling them what ththey're doing is ok. Other than slashing tires once have they damaged property or injured anyone? I suggest that they may be controlling you thru intimidation.

Have you tried laughing at the absurd? I wonder if this would lessen if you responded in a normal way? Be pleasant but be real. Say something like "seriously ? You want a threesome? You'll have to find someone else" and laugh as you walk away. Do not show fear. This is so crazy. Try not taking them so seriously.

If they haven't made angry verbal threats and only slashed tires I would try not feeding into their fantasy. I'd run this idea by the policeman working your neighborhood.

In Portland we have a neighborhood livibility office. Also a neighborhood mediation office. If your city has something like that they may be able to help you.

I was a police officer for 20 years and I've never heard of anyone having this sort of neighbor. Neighbors who are angry, make threats, fight, put garbage on the street, are unfriendly etc. Or neighbors who are paranoid and mentally ill in a less obvious way. I wonder if you're not understanding the dynamics of this family. They sound like huge jokers who get a kick out of scaring you. Yes, this is juvenile but some people never grow up.

Do NOT pour cooking oil on your steps or do anything else to injure them. Perhaps that suggestion was made in jest but wording sounded serious. They can sue. Then your problem will multiply.

After your SWH: I'M saying there is a middle ground between "sugary sweet" and moving. Try the direct approach. "Hey, this is no longer funny. Stop with the jokes" and walk away.

This message by its self does not sound creepy. A helpful response from you would be "Thanks for your offer. However, I'm a private sort of person and I don't want to be a part of your family. I think you mean well and I'd appreciate you not trying to be family."

Because of the way you describe yourself as being sweet and not wanting to upset them I suggest that your issue is one of boundaries and how to inforce them. I get that you're afraid. I really do. I need to say that being this way sets you up for this sort of behaviour from social idiots, especially ones who enjoy making others uncomfortable.

ADDED: Hope you go back to see this -- I should add that you could put motion sensor lights and/or alarms on your back porch and at the front door. Any home hardware store can sell you motion sensor systems that will flip on a bright light or even set off a sound alarm as soon as someone moves on that porch or comes within X feet of the door. (Squirrels and birds could set it off too so you might want to go with light instead of sound at first.)

Also: You are waiting for some financial issues to resolve before you move but please be sure you are getting the best advice on those issues so you can move faster to resolve them. I really feel you are unsafe there and all the sensors, cameras and hornet spray in the world will only help temporarily if this couple is really persistent. See if you can get out faster and don't wait to be mortgage-eligible; renting elsewhere would be better than living where you are now.

ORIGINAL: So you have not called the police about the slashed tires earlier? That was the place to start. You say doing so would get you "hardcore retaliation" but that may depend on how you handle it. How do you know for absolutely certain that these two adults are slashing your tires? Have you witnessed them actually taking knives to your tires? While I do agree with you that it's likely them -- they sound immensely juvenile and impulsive -- unless you have witnessed them in the act, you can't prove it's them; however you can and should call the cops every single time and loudly say for the neighbors to hear, while the cops are right there: "This is the second (or third or whatever) time I've found my tires slashed right here in front of my home but don't worry officer, I'll call the police every time from now on and I am going to put up security cameras later today."

In fact I'd report the slashed tires even though it's after the fact. Tell the cops you didn't report earlier but want to do so now -- so that there now is a police record if it happens again.

Then do it -- call the cops every time and put up security cameras. Have one recording at your front door and one at any back door or basement door. Be sure to tell the neighbors: "Gosh, someone slashed my tires again, so the police have told me use security cameras. The cameras will be monitored 24/7 by a security company." (Say this even if they will not be monitored 24/7 by someone other than you!). Don't accuse them but be sure they know that, oh golly, someone somewhere did this and you sure are glad the cops are aware.

All this of course is just a stopgap and may or may not work on them. They seem pretty thick-headed. I truly would consider moving as soon as possible. You have the advantage of being in a rental and not being an owner; if you owned your home you might find it impossible to leave, but as a renter, if you can eat the security deposit or whatever -- it might be worth doing so in order to feel SAFE in your own home again.

When I read the start of the post I wondered if maybe they just were a couple with a very odd but active sense of humor -- the whole "fairy wings and Amish farmer" thing sounds like someone's idea of a running joke. But the stuff with pawing your laundry, joking (maybe) about threesomes and staring in your windows is just beyond the pale. I would truly look at moving quickly because you can move faster than they can grow up.

I would call the police nonemergency line. Report any and all weird behavior that you feel threatened by. Get your neighbors to do the same. My friend and her neighbors all reported, repeatedly, their neighbor, who would do things like film wives and daughters, even when told not to. She ended up paying a lawyer a few hundred bucks to create a cease and decist letter.

I would find another landry place. I would get a PO box. I would not sunbathe or do anything that would encourage them to see you at all. I would get a portable hotel alarm for the main doors/your bedroom. I would start carrying a cell phone to record his behavior any time you think you might run into him. Get an inexpensive SD card so that you have more space for this recording and have proof of their rants. Tell them on camera that you want them to stop and if they don't, you are turning the video in to the police.

You shouldn't have had to delete yourself from FB. You should have blocked his profile from seeing you.

Please be careful. These are the kinds of unstable people you hear in the news that do things like kidnap children to make them into wives (Elizabeth Smart). Find out what to do about stalkers and treat them accordingly. Tell EVERYONE you trust your routine and concerns and even go so far as to check in when you arrive home. Be obvious about it. "Hey, Dad, I'm home now and I'm going in my house and locking the door."

When you talk to the police, emphasize that you are a woman alone (right?) and you are being stalked. Research stalking so you can pair those behaviors with his. This is not "I'm being bothered" this is "I'm being stalked and I fear for my safety and property."

I worry that sugar sweet will only fuel their insanity and make them think you like them. If you have the same landlord, ask the landlord if there is another property you can be moved to. If not, then I would do whatever I could to break the lease and move.

ETA: I figured as much re: the reaction to your message. Please be careful.

Is it possible you come off as kind of meek and seem like an easy target, even when you're trying to be "firm?"

If you are certain that you can't firmly and calmly stand your ground without getting your tires slashed, then I see no alternative but to move.

Can't fix cray-cray.
Move.

C., ditto the advice to move immediately. Seriously, this is a dangerous situation for you. They do not have any sense of normal, healthy boundaries. Get out now while you stlll can.

For starters, call all your local family and friends and tell them what has been going on, and ask to sleep over for several days. Get out of your place ASAP. Take a break from it all ASAP.

When you do go back, please, please ask everyone you know if there is a huge dude you can hire to escort you back. Maybe he'll do it as a favor, maybe for a pizza. But take another adult with you as a witness. There is safety in numbers. Try not to be alone next to those creeps.

Don't go back to the shared laundry facility alone. Wash your clothes elsewhere.

Always carry your phone in a ready mode to record.

Start planning your move immediately.

Change your numbers and change your FB setting to the strictest privacy settings offered.

Document, document, document while you prepare to move.

How crazy scary!

Can you borrow money from a relative to get out of there faster?

Of course you have to move! Until then, if you have a smart phone always have it in voice memo so that you can record these interactions. Of course do not tell them.

I would also try again to talk a police officer but explain that they are stalking and intimidating you. You need to give very specific examples, and eventhe voice recordings if you have any. Check your state laws about consent for recording or just switch to video to record what they are doing.

Get the security cameras, ASAP. We were just talking to a couple having similar problems and they set up security cameras from Best Buy. The cameras were less then $100, but no monthly service... They just had an app on their smart phone and could see the property from their phone.

I would talk to the other neighbors. Do they have this problem also? Or maybe making them aware would get you some support?

Or what about the landlord? They are chasing away tenents and preventing new ones. I would ask the landlord to give you notice so that you can be away for a few days, protect your belongings, and let the police know.

I had to deal with some cray cray myself. I didn't have a smart phone so I bought an awesome digital recorder from Walmart for like $40. You can get an SD card if needed and store all the files on a hard drive.

Please stay safe, and listen to all the other suggestions.

How creepy!

Glad to hear you're moving, the sooner the better.

But in the future, don't ever be afraid of reporting harassment for fear of retaliation.

Ask your landlord if they don't mind you putting up a 12 ft fence and don't answer your door! That is a scary level of crazy.

If they are peeking in your windows they are violating the law.

Be mindful of what info you put on your fb or any other online account. Set your profile to private. If he knows where you live he could start stalking you at work.

I would call the police and ask an officer meet you at a public place away from the station or the house. Explain the situation and ask for advice.

DO NOT GET WASP SPRAY. He could take away from you and use it against you.

Move and don't look back!! Break your lease if you have to!!

My primary care physician was shot and killed in the parking lot of her office building. It was the receptionist's husband who fixated on her and did the same kind of stuff in front of the whole office and his wife.

She was happily married and a wonderful woman. When he showed up with a gun inside the office she talked him outside to keep others safe. He killed her and them himself.

Yes, get the heck out of there!!!

Slashing people's tires IS a crime. If you have eyewitnesses to this occurring, then the people whose tires were slashed can file charges.
Tell him, in no uncertain terms, "Do not proposition me for sex ever again. Do not remove my laundry from the machines. Do not knock on my door unless it's a life-threatening emergency."
If he decides to retaliate with property damage, call the cops.

I might have missed it, but where is your husband in all this??

I think that I would say no to them in a way that would give them the impression that what I'm capable of would be way worse than the retaliation that they could come up with. That's my personality, though. I can't imagination that they would have gotten that far with me.

Even if you do move, talk to the police. Give them a heads up and get it on record, in case this does turn dangerous for you. Are you afraid of them? What if you came right out and said, "You are making me uncomfortable," every time one of them shows up? Just put that on repeat, and say nothing else.

C.,

You need to move.

You need to start keeping a log/journal of his/their actions.

You MUST change your settings on Facebook. Unfriend them and set your privacy settings to FRIENDS ONLY...

You need to get a nanny cam to record his/their actions.

If you feel uncomfortable doing that, then you must move. And do NOT list a forwarding address with the post office. If you file a restraining order, they will have your new address. So you need to start being cautious and take action. That does mean recording the actions, documenting...

You can't do anything about the request for a three-some... just keep firmly stating NO.

Tell your landlord what is happening. They need to be advised as to what is happening. You might not be the only one.

Good luck!!

I would move! Seriously!

And do what Leigh R. said.

Don't take this lightly. Protect yourself. Steer clear of him, make sure your dooors are always locked. Make sure in the meantime BEFORE YOU MOVE you do everything to protect yourself. Have some sort of w\protection in your home (bat, mace etc.).

Move.

It might be expensive and not fair for you to have to, but what you described sounds stressful.

p.s. Get her off your Facebook.

That's awful. This man is obsessed and is stalking you and is sexually harassing you. It's a huge pain in the butt for you, but yes, I think I would be moving away and changing all my contact info. I feel like you should document everything and file a report with the police, but I'd be worried about your safety. I still think it would be wise to do that...but perhaps after you move? I'm sorry you are going through this.

Started out kind of funny, now I'm scared! Ew.

I'm sorry I have no advice for you except move. I am a very direct person. I've made best friends with some neighbors, others I've had to shake loose but I have no experience with what you describe.

I do think it you need to get your husband involved when it comes to the guy. He is beyond inappropriate, he is sexually harassing you. Maybe a sit down with all four adults? Maybe slipping out at midnight and never looking back? It sounds like you're just too close to really ever get away without moving. Good luck and be safe.

You need to get out of there, ASAP. I would be very scared if I were you. Are you allowed pets? Get a big dog. Do you have any male relatives who could stay with you for a while, until you can move? How big is your complex? Could you talk to the landlord about moving somewhere further away from them, or possibly onto another property if he owns one?

You can get security cameras and put them at the front and back, record, document, get out.

sounds like our old neighbours!! more then once i caught this ( now ex neighbour) peeping in our windows! i told my husband ( right before the neighbours moved) that if i caught this guy peeping in our windows again i would be coming after him with a crowbar..and i said it loud enough for the neighbour to hear me scream it!first thing, you have already called the police and lodged a complaint against this couple, right ? talk to the other neighbours, if enough people sign a complaint against them, then the police and/or your neighbourhood association will have to do something about them, if you live in an apartment complex, lodge a formal complaint against them with management ,or..if you know the guy is headed over to your place, pour a little cooking oil on both the front and back porch( cooking oil is cheap, watching an creepy neighbour bust his ____@____.com on your porch after slipping in cooking oil is priceless!! its your porch, you can pour cooking oil on it if you want to and if the creepy neighbour slips , falls and busts some teeth on your porch..oh, well.."gee, officer. a container of cooking oil slipped out of my hands and busted! before i had a chance to clean it up, this neighbour , who i have told repeatedly he wasnt welcome, came knocking on the door and slipped in the cooking oil, its a shame he slipped in it and busted out five teeth!" "accidentally" spilled cooking oil cleans up easily with a hose and a little dish washing liquid.or, if you don t feel like cleaning up cooking oil and busted teeth off your porch, make up a huge batch of chocolate laxative laced brownies and send it over to the creepy neighbours, with my regards. K. h. bottom line, moving is expensive, you shouldnt have to move just because your creepy neighbour wont stop coming over, he slashed your tires? call the police and demand action, if the police refuse to make them stop coming over, call the police chief, call the local newscrew and ask them to bring over video equipment so you and they can document what the creepy neighbours are doing in your yard!you live in an apartment complex, go to management and tell them you and a dozen other families will break their leases if something isnt done about the creepy neighbours!

Why do you think that your neighbor/s haven't committed any crimes? You're being sexually harassed, he's trespassing, they have slashed your tires, and when you or others have "tried to put them in their place" which I take to mean told them to back off then they retaliate in various ways.

If you tell him/them not to contact you or speak to you, not to come onto your property even if it's rental, and they do anyway it's harassment. The language being used, the sexual advances, is all unwanted and therefore that's harassment.

They've intimidated you into believing they're big and scary, fearful of retaliation but where does standing up for yourself come in? You can't handle it on your own because the next step is what? if you do?

Tell them explicitly with the next incident, "Do not _____ any more. I do not welcome it." Turn around, walk away.

"Don't speak to me or my children." Turn around, walk away.

"Don't touch my property. Don't touch my laundry/car/kids bikes."

When there's damage to your property you report it. When they harass you, report it. Show the police the history of texts and e-mails. Print them out. Don't just get rid of the e-mail. Keep it so you can keep that history. Every single incident where you consider it retaliation needs to be reported and your other neighbors need to do the same. And guess what? The landlord/management company doesn't want that sort of tenant. Report report report.