Overwhelming Stress Due to Financial Situaion

RUN, don't walk, to the library and get the book "Financial Peace" or "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsay. You need to control your money instead of IT controlling you. You will feel better if you are involved in your finances and know your financial situation. I would never accept "we'll be ok" as a financial "report" from my husband.
Also, who cares what other people have or do with their money. You need to worry about what to do with yours!
Couldn't you get an evening job so your hubby can watch the kids? Nights? There's ALWAYS a way out there to make money if you want it bad enough. Good luck!
ADDED*** A sure-fire way to end "broke" is a JOB. (Dave Ramsay quote)
and STAY OUT of the stores and malls. If you are this stressed out, make use of what you have. And go grocery shopping with a plan and a list.

1. Get a job....your little one will be in school in a few months so I'm sure you can find someone or someplace to take him. If it doesn't make sense financially for you to work, then get a job and work nights/weekends when you can rely on your husband to take care of the kids. If he can't due to work, see about having family/friends as a backup if you need someone to watch the kids while you work. What about substiute teaching? You could do this even after your son goes to work?

2. Don't worry about everyone spending money like it's nobody's business. You have no idea what kind of financial situation they are in. Maybe they are all in debt up to their eyeballs but keep spending. Good for you for seeing that you need to wtach money!

3. Consider downsizing - getting rid of cable/internet/phone (anything you can do without). Change the options on your cell/tv packages. Do you have two car paments? Consider trading one in and only have one.

4. Talk to your husband about a different line of work or a 2nd job. Tell him point blank that the bills are not being met and that you cannot live like this. Tell him you are willing to do whatever it takes as well - which may mean relying on him when you get a job and need him to cover taking care of the kids.

Good luck!

I'm sorry that you are in this situation, I know exactly how you feel and it is horrible. Look for some work you can do at home. A great forum is workplacelikehome.com. They have some great leads for at home work.

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Look into watching children in your home. Some websites to find children to watch are sittercity.com or care.com. Post an ad on craigslist.org.
Cut back on all things that aren't necessary or at least call and see if you can get a better deal.

Until you start getting more money coming in, cut back on all that you can. Call all the companies you have business with and see if they can lower the prices. My husband calls out internet and TV company 1 or 2 times a year to lower our bill. If things get really bad check into government assistance it's there to help and there is no shame in accepting it.

Also call the places you may have debt with, a lot of places are willing to work with you if you just ask for help.
I'm very sorry that you are going through this, it's very tough.

Downsize anything that you can. Cell phone, internet, cable, gym. I stopped paying for movies to rent and started taking advantage of the offerings at the library. Do a weekly menu for you family. Eating potato's instead of meat, pasta instead of chicken can really help out. I discovered that I was buying too much instead of using what I have on hand, knowing that and writing out a weekly menu has cut down my families food cost to under 100 a week. Stop eating out. Can you get a job at night at some retail place or grocery store? That would help. Daycare here is too expensive to justify my working during the day. DO you have extra "stuff" around the house? Have a garage sale. It will help for you to at least feel like you are doing something to mitigate the situation.

I am sorry you feel so stressed. I agree with the other posters about seeing a doctor and talking about some of these feelings. An antidepressant may help. Your husband needs to stop dismissing your fears and you two need to talk things through including coming up with a budget and a plan. I think he's pushing it off b/c he's stressed too. Go to a cash only budget if you can afford it. Look up coupon sites like www.hip2save.com. Couponing is a great way to save some serious $ (I never pay for shampoo, toothpaste, etc. anymore) and it can actually become a fun hobby. Is your husband still working? If not or if he can move his schedule around then maybe you can go back to work now even if it's PT or maybe he can get a PT job in the evenings. Also, as mentioned before, try to sell some things on Craigslist. I would also look up www.freecycle.org if there are items you need that you can't afford. A lot of times if you post a request for an item and explain your circumstance, then people will offer you an item. Trim your lifestyle - remove excess from the home, don't buy anything you don't need and don't spend $ on anything you can get for free. Lastly, don't try to keep up with your neighbors. If they are throwing $ around in this economy then they are either foolish or massively in debt (or both)!!

Don't bother trying to get a job while your baby needs you at home. It will actually cost you to go to work and the profits will be almost nothing unless you get paid triple the minimum wage. Find joy in saving pennies. Be glad you can learn to reduce your consumption. Reuse things, mend clothes and learn to eat very simple food like grits and beans. Ask God to supply your needs. Be thankful that you have a husband who is not overly concerned and that he can reasure you. The time we had no money the Lord provided though church friends. AF

If you were to go back to work, could you put your youngest into some kind of day care until he starts school? If you're making more money than it would cost, it may help get him accustomed to being in that structured kind of environment during the day?

I spent my sophomore year out of college for the same reason. My father, a PhD, was having a hard time finding work, and no one would hire him at $40K/year knowing he'd bolt the next time something better would come along. There were constantly subpoena's on the door and creditors calling. Instead of bankruptcy, he worked with all his creditors to come up with terms that were acceptable - this was in the mid-1990's and times have changed.

But, I'd recommend doing whatever you can to make the situation work for your family and help you get to a better place emotionally. I was the main breadwinner until May when my company decided to lay off 40% of the sales force. I was one of those affected because my 2008 numbers weren't strong (didn't matter than I'd been on maternity leave immediately followed by a cancer diagnosis and 5 months of chemo until the end of November). I still struggle with the substantial loss of income, but I was able to get back to work quickly vs. some of my fellow laid-off colleagues.

Good luck. I hope things turn around for your family. In the end, the blessings are the people in our lives and not the things. I know it's hard not to compare your situation to your neighbors, but who knows how many of them are secretly in the same situation.

A.:

First off - TAKE A DEEP BREATH!!! Let it out - slowly, now, take another one.

The stress you feeling is so understandable. I'm so sorry that you are going through this stress. If your husband says you are going to be okay - please trust in him. I would also pray - God will take care of you - He will answer your prayers in ways that you can only imagine!!!

I wouldn't try to keep up with the Jones' - that just doesn't work. You are just teaching your children that material possessions are most important. This will start a cycle that will just get worse over time.

Since you know that money is tight - spend only on necessities and use coupons. My husband and I are CASH ONLY people. We have no credit card debt. It was a HARD change when we stopped using credit cards but it's been SOOOO worth it.

Please call your Dr and see if they can prescribe an ant-anxiety med for you - this isn't just for you, it's for your children as well - having a stressed out mom is NOT a good thing. If your children are witnessing your panic attacks and anxiety - they will start stressing too - which will lead to many tears, lots of fights and sickness.

If you need IMMEDIATE cash - there are several options:
1. Sell items on craigslist and ebay. Craigslist is FREE - ebay is NOT. ebay allows you to sell stuff to people all over the world. Craigslist will let people purchase things from you locally. Sell clothes that your youngest has outgrown instead of giving them away. Go through the house and find things that you haven't touched in months and sell it. You'll be amazed at all the stuff you don't use or need in your life. You'll also be surprised at how getting back to basics will change your family life for the better!

2. Go to your church and ask for help. They might be able to set up meals for you - anonymously - every church is different. There are churches that have a rector's fund to gift money to families in need.

3. Have a garage sale - this will bring in much needed cash and clear out the house.

Since you know you plan on going back to work in the Fall - start re-tooling your resume - see what jobs are out there that you are qualified for and tailor your resume to that. I don't know how long it's been since you been a SAHM. You can also go to Craigslist.com and see if there are any part-time telecommuting jobs that you can do - it may not be a lot of money, but it may just be the income you need to feel like you can breathe again.

Trust in God. I promise He will take care of you - He will put you on the road that He needs you to be on.

Best regards,

Cheryl

You are not alone! So many people are in the same boat as you are...i lost my job and got pregnant, so I am now a SAHM and will be for the next 5 years....my husband is the sole provider and I was worried, and continue to watch what we spend, but I pray a lot that God will provide and He does! My advice is to trust your husband. I don't think he wants to be homeless either, so as long as you are being diligent about how much and on what you spend, then leave the rest up to him - I may be old fashioned, but I think he should support his family and you are doing a good job raising the kids and doing your job in that regard. It does no good to worry - in the Bible in Matthew Chapter 6 it talks about not worrying...how God will provide and worry will not add another day to your life (but will probably take away from it actually!). So, make it up in your mind that you will not stress about it - trust God and your husband when he says you are fine, and until you start working, just shop at cheaper stores for groceries, do price comparisons, use coupons, etc and try to cut back where you can - i reduced my cell phone plan, changed our home phone plan (lots of companies will reduce your rate if you threaten to cancel with them!) and we are working on cutting out cable...and we also stopped eating out all the time and going out to movies - instead we get Netflix at home for less than $10/month....way cheaper than spending $50 for movies out on one weekend! We also traded in our new vehicle for a used vehicle that is actually better and saved $200/month on just that one thing! There are tons of other ways to conserve, spend less, etc....so look into the budget/bills and see where you can cut back....i know money is one of the most stressful things...but hang in there and try not to worry!! Good luck - let us know what you decide!

As someone who lives in your metro area, and is going through the same type of situation, I can understand your stress!! Just remember, you are NOT alone. Something that has kept me sane for the past year is faith. Knowing that I will be shown a away to meet my basic needs and the needs of my family. Its hard, but we've gone from on the verge of having to miss a house payment within days of hubby being laid off, to still being in our house a year later, without a missed payment.

Here are the steps that I follow. Maybe one will help you.
1. There are certain bills that HAVE to be paid, and paid ontime - house, car insurance, electric bill, water bill, phone bill, life insurance. All other bills don't.
For the electric bill, if you don't have this already, call and ask to be put on the payment plan - can't think of the right term - but basically, they look at your electric bills total for the past year, add them up, divide by 12. This becomes your new monthly payment. We've had this for 6 years and its been a saviour. Last month, my parents bill, they live down the street from us, was $400. Our bill was $250, because of the plan. During the last month of the cycle, the bill will be higher because it balances out, so our Oct. bill was $290 instead of $250, becuase there would have been a $40. balance and the cycle was starting over.

2. If there is money left to pay credit cards, pay just the minimum balance due. You don't get brownie points for paying more.

3. Mentally prepare yourself for downsizing. The size of your house, the cars you drive are VERY important in this area. In reality, it isn't really important at all. There are a TON of great investment deals in the area now. My neighbors just moved because the house they'd had their eye on went up for sale. My other neighbor just bought a Nused car from Carmax. The car they had was a lease, and they could be that one as a purchase, for less money a month.

As for things to help out now:
1. Contact county services. I know you may feel embrassed about doing this, but its what they are there for. See if you qualify for the WIC program since you have a child under 5. If you do, that would help with food.

2. Have you considered getting a part-time, overnight job? Basically, you would go to work in the evening / overnight while your husband and kids are at home sleeping?

3. Would it be possible for you to start a babysitting service out of your home? Spring Break is coming up. Many of your neighbors may still be working, and may need to have someone watch their kids. What about after school?

Good luck
M.

Hello A.,
I agree with a lot of the advice you have already gotten but I wanted to add a little more that may help. My husband and I are just now digging ourselves out of a really bad financial situation in 2008-09. He was in real estate and like your household, the income virtually stopped. I stay at home with my two young kids.
Once we realized that we needed to do something else, he started selling cars. HA! That didn't work either. We then got a loan and purchased a small snack distribution business where I could do the bookkeeping and administrative stuff from home and my husband could do the deliveries. It was very hard at first but we believed that this was the light at the end of the tunnel and we worked really hard at getting back on track. We did a lot of the things that the other replies suggested and it helped.
If the path you are on is not working, then you must take action! I realized that worrying and freaking out was just wasting energy on a needed resource, myself! When I would feel overwhelmed, I would sell something or cut coupons. It made me feel like I was doing something (even if little) to help. Every little step takes you closer to your goal.
On a side note, my husband and I still have a lot of friends in real estate. They have toughed it out by getting in touch with banks and selling foreclosures. Believe it or not, there are buyers (investors and first time buyers) out there you just have to find the right niche.
Good luck. You have already taken the first step. You are not alone. You will be okay if you work at it. Feel free to contact me. I would be happy to talk or write with you about it all. I absolutely know how you feel!

This is a tough economy, so you're not alone. Many of the people you see in the malls have no business being there, either, so be encouraged and continue doing your best in difficult situation. This is a part of life. None of us are promised a carefree existence. We are promised trials and tribulations. Your husband should have unemployment. There are food share programs that offset cost of groceries. You wrote you live in a well-to-do county--that's relative. Who cares? Don't let your financial status determine your selfworth. All of these things are temporary, even if it's a long-term temporary discomfort. In the fall, one child will go to school. Maybe you can feel empowered by sending out some resumes now and doing some jobhunting. That might make you feel a little less out of control and helpless. Talking with a counselor, a friend, or minister might also help you relieve some stress. Your husband is equally stressed, so he might not be able to handle your fears as well. But talk to him and explain to him where you are. You sound like a normal woman who is in a difficult situation and is slightly panicked. That's normal. No one should minimize how you feel. But, stop thinking of yourself as powerless, as your husband as complacent, the children as burdens, or whatever your fears are telling you. Tell yourself that this is temporary. You and your husband have talents that are marketable and you just need patience and time to find the opportunity. Daily seek those opportunities and encourage him to do the same. Tell your husband there are times when your fear might get the best of you but you're trying your best to hold it together. Hold each family member near and remind each other that you love each other. That's what family is about. A team that can go through tough times together and overcome. Maybe if you and your husband put together and actionplan, like a worst-case scenario sheet of where to go if you can no longer afford the house, delay some nonessential utilities, cut off and cut out the luxuries, and seek part-time jobs, you'll feel at least like you are taking back some of the control of a situation beyond your control. There are several organizations set up to help people with mortgage issues--seek one out in your area and if you need help, don't be afraid to ask but don't fall for the first get-rich scheme you come across. You could be very vulnerable to predators, so use wisdom and exercise patience. If you need specific suggestions, first stop should be your church, then your local government, nonprofits, and family or friends. You never know who knows about jobs. If you've lost Internet service and news service, go to the library for storytime sessions and research want-ads afterwards while babies read. Be encouraged.

I don't know what your specific financial situation is, but have you considered filing bankruptcy? I have worked with hundreds of people who are so financially stressed out that they are sick - literally, physically sick. Filing a Ch 7 turned their life around - financially, physically, and sometimes maritally (I see alot of people on the verge of divorce due to financial stresses). Call an good local attorney who specializes in bankruptcy and get some information - while it may not be right for you, you will find out that it isn't the "big bad wolf" people make bankruptcy out to be. A couple of immediate myths that come to mind:

1. I will lose my house and/or never qualify for a mortgage again - not true

2. I will lose everything I own - not true

3. The neighbors filed bankruptcy and got to keep their house for free - also not true

The economy is brutal right now for realtors and a huge chunk of my bky clients ARE realtors right now, as well as people who have suffered job losses, medical events, divorce, death in the family and other tragic circumstances.

Good luck.

you've gotten some great financial advise, so i wont add any to it. I also suffer from stress that is almost debilitating. here is what i do to keep things in perspective.. i count my blessings. I tell myself how fortunate i am to: live in the usa, not some foreign country where i would have to wear a burka and be subjective to a man; have a roof over my head that isnt leaking at the moment (my house will be 100 yrs old in 2014); that my son has only a mild disability when he could be one of the children that we see on our annual visit to shriners that are so so so disabled; that my idiot/jerk of a husband is just that MY HUSBAND and i dont know what i would do without him even when i wish he would just shut the heck up!!; that my 20+ yr old truck is alot better than no truck; you catch my drift? things could be so much worse no matter how bad they seem. if you have family and friends you will always have somewhere to go. i go and cry and get it all out, then put on my game face and fake it til i make it. love your babies, love your husband, love that you are alive and well and live in the greatest country there is! good luck and keep your chin up!

Good luck to you; I think there are lots of people in the same boat right now. These are tough times! You should be receiving many responses to this post, I would think. I hope you will get comfort from knowing you are not alone. Have you considered a home-based business? My company is helping countless families, we are growing, no risk, all good! Happy to share more. God Bless!

honey you need to sit down and think this over.if your husband/boyfriend
is not willing to give you up to the second information on your familys
money issues, then you need to stop passively asking him and find out for
yourself.. if for no other reason then the health and safety of your kids.
stop thinking about what your neighbors are spending their money on
do you have credit cards, how much is owed on them, what the car insurance and house payments every month , what are your basic expenses ?? these are just a few of the basic money questions that you need to be able to answer and handle... scarlett o hara is dead. wake up and take control of your life, if not for you, then for your children.
K. h.

If nothing else works I agree with bankruptcy. It sounds worse than it is but it can save your home, cars, and belongings. My parents did this 5yrs ago because they were more than $150k in debt-- charging with credit cards to live. It helped wipe their slate clean in a sense and they paid off their debt while learning to manage what they have. The attorney left very little but to my parents while going through it but it was enough to cover necessary costs. They finished early in 2008 and are living the best so far because they're smarter with the money they have. Only downside is that your credit is stalled for awhile. My parents want to Buy a new house and no one will lend to them being so new out.

Good luck! Your family is in my prayers.

I know it can be difficult to change your patterns of spending and it's difficult to see others spend when you can't. Try to see if there are things that can relax you and make your faily happy that require less or no money. Money can't give them the love you have for them. Money can't give listening, or play games, or cuddle them at night. Money helps to make it easier to do some of these things but other than for food and shelter, you don't need as much of it as you think. I have to tell myself this as well: you are enough! This too shall pass and things will get better. Also, try to see the upside: because we have limited funds, I've told her (appropriate to her age) that we can't always afford Five Guys and save enough money for her birthday party or that she can't get both dresses, just one. She's learning that you can't have everything all at once and you can save your money and get what you really want a little later. That's a skill that is incredebly important for our children to learn, and this time is a good time to teach it.

Good luck.
A.

I am in a similar situation. We do not have much income coming in and my unemployment may run out soon. We only have one child, but expenses are very worrisome for me. I am doing my best to stay positive only because I know that depression is right around the corner. And though I fight to stay sane and keep it all together, it's hard. Deep down, I know that I do have some things (money) I can "move around" if/when that time comes, but truthfully, there's nothing like knowing that you don't have to worry each time you think about bills & expenses.

So...while I can feel your situation, first hand - this is what I know. We are not wallowing in this situation. We are thinking every day of different ways to do things & save/not spend money. We are using our resources (family/friends) as need be. I am not afraid to ask for help. And ultimately, I'm still looking for life-friendly work to do and bring in some income.

Although times are hard, you must stay optimistic & positive - especially for yourself first...if you take care of yourself the best you can, then you will be able to care properly for the family.

When you have quiet time, make lists and/or do internet searches for opportunities for income. Even if that's only 15 min. a day - it's something. Life has it's up's & down's - either way, we must find a way to enjoy the ride.

I am praying for you & your family...as I continue to pray for myself & mine.

Take a deep breath. Do you have food on the table? That's all you need right now.
Not everyone is spending money and really, that's not where it's at. Unless you need it, don't buy it.
You can survive. The market is picking up - albeit slowly. You could look for a part time position that is flexible... maybe Saturday nights or something. Or you could substitute in the schools. They pay - not a lot, but they do pay. I'm sure a friend would be willing to watch your child for free or for a barter type deal if you explain the situation.
There are options.
Explore them.
YMMV
LBC

I would agree with McMama... if you're able to downsize it might help with freeing up money for other needs. When the economy was a little better my husband and I were both driving luxury SUVs. Our bills got a little out of control and we made a huge sacrafice and sold one of our vehicles. We're not a one car family that carpools to work. Without that extra car note it was like he received paycheck raise!

Yes, it sucks and it's not as convenient but when we're able to use that money elsewhere it makes it all worth it. I had a few moments where our finances seemed like too much to deal with as well. So I totally understand.

Maybe you could identify a few "necessities" that you don't necessarily "need"... Brand name foods, House Phone (if you have cell phones), etc.

Hope that helps!

There is a lot of great information already given. I'm not sure what your exact financial situation is but it sounds like you are already are being careful with what you buy. Calling on your utility bills can help. We are also on a balanced plan with our gas and electric and it helps greatly when it comes to the summer time. Our bill is huge in the summer due to the size of our house.

Have you documented your income/bills in a budget yet so you can see exactly where you are? I know it can be hard with your husbands line of work because some months are better than others. Seeing everything in black and white on one sheet can help you determine what to get rid of or what to try and get savings on (lower plan, etc). I recommend also putting down your assets and values. Do you have an extra car or boat or RV that you could sell to make some quick cash?

Have you called any of your creditors yet? There are a lot of crappy credit card issuers out there that won't negotiate or lower rates but some will. If you aren't having any luck with that you could go to a debt management company for help. I will say that they will hurt your credit like a 90 day late mark or greater will too but they can get significantly reduced rates which will help with your budget.

You might qualify for a modification on your mortgage due to your decreased income. This would decrease your rate/payment and extend your term to help with cash flow. Hopefully you have a good mortgage co, some are hard to deal with. What ever you do, I do not recommend paying for a mortgage attorney to help you through this process. I currently am laid off but I am in the lending industry. It was difficult for me seeing attorneys fax in information requesting a modification for our members, partly because they didn't call and find out what their options were and partly because they were wasting a few thousand dollars to get the same result we would give them directly without an attorney.

We have 2 kids and daycare is expensive. Surprisingly there are a lot of jobs out there but I need to earn enough to pay for daycare which limits what I can apply for. My husband works a day job but is on call for a week at a time every few weeks and sometimes has to work weekends so I can't consider an evening/night job because I can't count on him to watch the kids due to his schedule. I'm sure it's similar with your husband since he is in real estate. He needs to be available evenings/weekends for clients and sales. If you're like us, we don't have family/friends close by that could help watch the kids.

For me once I did the budget and put everything on paper I felt a lot better about where we are and what we could do if we need cash. If you want more advise/help send me a message. It will get better.

Realtors have VERY flexible hours and most can work from home 90% of the time other than showings. Have your husband watch the child while you are at work and you watch the child while he is showing homes or has office meetings. My husband was a straight commission Loan Officer a few years ago and I 100% understand the unknown of when income will come in. Your huaband is going to have to look for a new job weather he likes it or not. If a job no longer meets your financial resposibilities you can't sit back and wait until the market turns around to see if it does you have to move on. He also can take a new job and work as a Realtor part-time until things turn around so he doesn't feel like he is loosing his career if that is easier.

Best Wishes!!

If your husband is bringing in next to no income, not available to watch your youngest, and is telling you not to worry that everything will be ok--the two of you need to have a talk about your short term and long term plans for the income that will sustain your family. It sounds like your husband needs to take a different job or career, in the short run or the long run. How many other families of realtors are like you right now (and trying to hide it)? If you have bill collectors calling (which I'm inferring you do), waiting for things to get better is not a solution even when and combined with stop-gap measures such as selling stuff you don't need and taking short-term low income gigs (although you might do those--it's not a complete solution). I know if you and your husband work together and address your problem head-on that you will come up with solutions.

CALL ME. ###-###-####. I UNDERSTAND! I am looking for night/weekend work so my husband can watch our boys while i work and i am already watching the boys during the day while he works. good luck!

Do you do any crafts? You could try selling them on Craigslist or ebay or even etsy. Could you take in any children to tend? I'm sure with some creativity you could come up with something to help until your son goes to school. And read Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey He has helped many people get out of debt and build a savings. Check it out.

Hi my name is I.,
I'm very sorry to hear about your situation and I'm not in your position. I was wondering though have you ever considered becoming an Avon Rep? It would bring in something and you can do it while you still have the little one with you. It wouldn't be like a salary coming in but it would be something. I started a few months ago because I needed part time pay with out being away from my kids and husband. If you are interested you can email me ____@____.com or you can give me a call ###-###-####. I only paid $10 to get started.

Your husband is correct you and your family will be fine, keep your trust in God and he will bring you through this.

Blessings
I.

Dear Annette,

I have walked in your shoes, and I understand how physically demanding financial stress can be. I am sure that your husband is also concerned, but it sounds as if he is trying to keep a positive outlook for the future.

I was in an upwardly mobile position that was eliminated about ten years ago--literally two days before I gave birth to my third child. We lost a tremendous amount of income, and with a newborn, I couldn't re-enter the workforce right away. I chose to freelance from home and enjoy my young family.

Three years later, my husband lost his job, too. He quickly found another, and within three months, that job was eliminated as well. We relocated for another position, leaving behind friends and family, and less than a year later, that job, too, was eliminated. It was a trying time for all of us--and like you I was concerned that I was not contributing to our income.

Our family has survived intact. We have learned to live with less and to value each other more. We understand that things do not necessarily add to your happiness--and that although we will always have wants, sometimes we have to wait a little while to fulfill them.

I would like to offer a few suggestions that might help you weather this storm. First, it sounds like you are struggling not only with money woes, but also with some mommy isolation. Being a stay-at-home mom is the most demanding, and often lonesome, job you will ever have! If you want to contribute to your family income, or simply get some adult interaction, there are all sorts of things you can try. If your husband's business is slow, perhaps he could come home early one or two days a week and relieve you. Or maybe there is another mom you could swap child care with. You could try to volunteer in organization doing the type of work that you would like to do when you re-join the work force. This will allow you to network and dust off some skills as well as pick up some new ones. Or you could get involved in a community activity or take a class. Community colleges, parks and rec programs, and other organizations often offer interesting programs that exercise your mind and improve your mental health.

There are also numerous "jobs" that you can do from home. It might mean staying up later, or putting off a household task, but with a computer and some creativity, you'll be surprised what you can make working from home.

Don't worry about the fact that you can't spend like everyone else. Be proud that you are using your resources responsibly. There are many activities available that are free--libraries, parks, community groups. Get involved in something, and you won't miss shopping at all.

Make saving money a game. When my husband was out of work, I would see how long I could go without buying anything. I make a huge grocery list, buy everything I thought I needed for two weeks and see how long I could stretch it beyond my plan. I was proud of myself for learning how to shop for bargains, clip coupons and become a more savvy shopper. Look for consignment shops or visit ebay or craigslist when you need something. It's fun, and you'll be surprised what kinds of bargains you can find.

This spring, plant a garden with your kids. It will save you money on veggies, and it is a fun activity for everyone. Don't go overboard, start small. Learn to can or freeze your own food. It's an excellent skill, and your food will be less expensive and healthier than what you can buy in a store.

Go green with your cleaning. Chemical cleaners are expensive, and they are not safe for your family or the environment. Look for other ways to use your resources wisely and reduce your expenses.

If you take some time to simplify your life now. It will carry over into the future.

Good luck and feel free to contact me personally if you need a shoulder. We mommies have to stick together.

I found when we experience financial constraints that I want to shut down too. But then I reach out for help, pray a lot and keep reminding myself that my goal is to be healthy and create an awesome home for my family. That's why I choose to be here with my kids (I tried the fulltime, 6-figure thing) and be a great partner for my husband.

You have a TON of choices at your fingertips, it all just depends upon what you are willing to do. I have found through my own personal experience and working with countless others that "making things work" or creating multiple streams of income is not about who needs it or even wants it, so ask yourself, what are you "willing to do"? Then go after it!

Regardless of what market or company anyone gets their income from it is completely unreasonable (I really want to say stupid, so I will) to place your eggs in one "money" basket.

I recently came across a good book by Loral Langemeier, "Put More Cash in Your Pocket!" She helps break down the "entrepreneurial" barriers and walks you through how to figure out how to start earning money based upon the skills you already have. This is especially good when you don't have much money for start-up expenses.

There are some "direct sale" companies that don't require large start-up expenses and/or monthly overhead as well but do your research in order to find one that meets your needs, wants and abilities.

I belong to a great women business owner's group called the "Support Hose". There are many types of businesses and gals there that I'm sure would be happy to talk to you a bit about what they do and how they got started. It always helps to hear another's experience, strength and hope in a given situation.

Whatever you do, don't shut down. Do one thing today, even if it is to simply reply back to contact one of us in person. Get into motion. Our biggest enemy is isolation and just sitting doing nothing but worrying - that's like being held captive and you won't win at that game. So, pull up "your (God's) power" and don't be timid, whatever you do!

Hi A.,
First off, look how many people have already responded with thoughtful, wonderful advice. People care about you, and we haven't even met you! You are not alone in this.

Much of my advice would follow what others have said, so i won't repeat it. I do have to say, we have lived in many states over the years, and I can honestly tell you that people all over "spend money like nobody's bsuiness." I have heard from those same people's mouths a few weeks/months/years later just how far in debt they are in. People who thoughtlessly bought items they didn't need for their house, went out for meals daily, had huge wardrobes, bought cars they couldn't afford, etc. At the end of the day, many of these folks regretted it. Trust me, you never know somebody else's financial situation...it may very well be worse than you're own. And it seems for many of these people, they bought items to fill voids in their lives.

You've taken a big step in writing your question and letting people give feedback. Take another big step and try one or a few of the ideas people suggest in the next week. I bet you'll feel better regardless because you are taking action. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you. :)

I used to be in this situation. One thing that really helped us is to go through Dave Ramsey's Financial peace university. I know you don't have the money to do that right now, but purchasing one of his books would really help you to feel better about your situation. We have really learned to put a name on every dollar, no matter what that name is (food, gas, haircut, ect.) We do our budget BEFORE the paycheck comes, and then live off cash. It's amazing how little stress we have now.

Besides that, the other #1 thing he says to do is: Take care of the 4 walls of your house before anything else.
1- Food (if you don't have food, you don't live)
2- Shelter (rent / mortgage, insurance)
3- Transportation (loan payment, gas, insurance, car repairs (we put aside $20 each paycheck))
4-Utilities
Once these are paid then you have confidence that no matter what, you are healthy, can get to work, and have a place to live. Above that, pay what you can, clip coupons, and don't stress about what you can't pay. No point in stressing over what you can't control.

I am sorry to hear what you are going through, however you need to take care of your self, you may need to go for walks or excercise. You will have to return to work and that means taking an overnight shift or evening shift, your husband will have to take care of the children, while you are at work. I do not know what area you live or else I will give you some resources. another this is that your husban may have to take on a second job until you are able to return to work. just remember stressing will get you nowhere, you just have to deal with things as it comes. Hope this iformation was usefull.

First of all, congrats for being a proud mother of 3. I am a stay at home mother of 4. My oldest is in Kindergarten, twins don't start till 2011, and I have an 8 mo old. If I did work, I wouldn't make enough to cover the childcare. I completely understand. Our bills are paid, but there's not a lot left after that. For extra cash I started selling the kids old clothes and toys on Ebay. I was shocked when I got $60 for one box of clothes I had stored in the closet. You can also try selling some items through a local consignment shop.

To save money I cut back on our cable and cell phone packages, buy nearly everything store brand, and clip coupons like there's no tomorrow. I don't know anything about Maryland, but get in touch with your local social services department to see what they can offer you.

Most importantly, believe in yourself and your husband. You can get through this, it will be tough, but as long as you have your health and family, you will be just fine. Make it work and stay strong. Pray that our economy will improve, for the sake of your husband's profession pray that the housing market will go up. Just look at those 3 beautiful kids, if they have smiles on their faces and not a care in the world, you know you're okay and everything will be fine. When I'm down, my kids' joy always lifts me up! Good luck to you :)

I recommend you call your doctor. There may be some medication that can help you through this, or if medication isn't the answer your doctor can help you with some relaxation techniques.

You should start looking to go back to work now. Jobs are not easy to find, and you may be able to find something part time that will work around your husbands flexible schedule. Have you thought about doing some child care in your home?

For some immediate extra income, why don't you have a yard sale or bring some of the clothes and toys the kids have outgrown to a consignment shop.

I saw a post not to long ago about using coupons and various coupon sites that can help cut back on the grocery bill.

You're not alone. Thousands of people have lost their jobs, had to take pay cuts or cuts in hours. You may want to look into some temporary financial assistance like food stamps or engery assistance.

Focus on the important things, your children and your husband and all the other positive things in your life. This is only temporary and you will get through it.

Good luck.