My son is very smart. He is also an expert on escaping from the house. We have installed extra locks at the tops of the doors, kicked the mop/broom outside until needed, and have recently installed a door alarm. He still finds ways to escape. Any ideas on how we can get him to quit escaping? He has it in his head that he lives at his grandma's house, and he has never even spent the night there. Noone knows why he thinks this, but everytime he gets out, he goes straight to grandma's house. Lucky, our yards are connected. The grandparents feel I am not doing my job of watching the kids.
All of our locks require a key to unlock them which we keep up high near the door. Maybe that could help.
Maybe now is the time to put the fear of God into your son! If he's as smart as you say (and I have no doubt that he is) then he should understand it when you tell him that going outside without an adult is extremely dangerous. Tell him flat out about the dangers of strangers grabbing him from off the street and running away with him. Tell him that if that happens there is a really good chance that he could never see you or his beloved grandparents again. Tell him that it really frightens you and makes you sad to think of something like that happening to him(most kids that age don't want to see or even think about their mommy's being sad because of them) then call a home security company and have them come install an alarm sytem in your home (maybe a little expensive at first but well worth it because they'll put sensors on every door and window) and then explain to your son that if he opens the doors or windows an alarm will sound which will not only notify you, but will also notify the police. It might seem extreme, but God forbid he gets out and doesn't make it to grandma and grandpa's house! Good luck.
My oldest daughter was an escape artist and I had troubles too. When my third daughter got out of the house once, I found some door knob safety devices that they didn't sell when my oldest was little. It is a white knob cover that you have to squeeze to get the knob to turn. It works very well and even most adults can't figure out how to open my doors.
I would treat this like a discipline issues.
He's smart and old enough to understand the rules and you shouldn't have to lock him in like an 18 month old that doesn't understand. And this is a serious safety issue!
Make the rule--"you are not allowed to leave the house alone."
And when he does, he gets a time out. Be consistent--and make sure he understands that he got a time out for leaving the house alone.
Also make sure grandma knows the rules and is not giving him any postive reinforcement for coming over...
good luck!
I would look at it with two main issues to work on.
1. Work with the grandparents that when he does this, he is told it is not ok to come over to their house without you unless there is an emergency and is brought immediately back to your house. If he knows that he will be brought back immediately that will take the fun out of it.
2. He is going over there for a reason. Grandma/pa's house is usually more fun because they probably either spoil him by giving him everything he wants or have more time to devote to just him, while it sounds like you are probably busy with two little ones and being pregnant. While you can't change your responsibilites, try to set up a time when just you and him have special time together. Maybe while his sister is taking a nap? Even if its just on the weekend if you are working. A special time just you and him so he knows you care about just him and can focus on him. Then you guys can look forward to your special time together.
ps Ignore the judgement, grandparents sometimes forget how difficult it was for them when they had their little ones! Kind of like the afterglow of birth! It doesn't seem to be that bad when it's all over with :>
Good luck to you!
A.
Single mom to 4 little ones (so I know busy :>)
why dont you let him stay at his grandparents overnight then he will not have to "escape" to do so.
