Runaway 4 Year Old

Hi C., all the advice sounds logical but has anyone asked her WHY she is running away? Perhaps she is looking for her mother. Or, maybe she is just feeling insecure and needs extra reassurance. Maybe someone should go with her and help her understand that it's a big, scary world out there. I don't think threatening her or frightening her will help much. In my experience, children usually find a way to meet their needs regardless what their parents want. She may need some counseling if she is feeling a loss.

Wow, this is a scary problem! I don't know how to stop it except they need to find out why she keeps trying to leave maybe by seeing a counselor... but for her safety I would look into sewing rfid chips (kind of like a lojack) into her pajamas so she can easily be found if she does get out. I'd also install a burglar alarm and set it every night on instant- if she (or an intruder) opens a window or door everyone will know immediatly. It doesn't have to be a monitored alarm so the police won't show up everytime she attempts to escape.

I have a 7 yr old and she tells me all the time she is going to run away. This only happens when she gets angry with us. She has ADHD + ODD(has very bad angry outburst)When she tells me she is going to runaway I tell her to go, but she has to leave just as she came into the world. Naked. Then I explain to her that if she does runaway there are many crazy people out there who would like to take her and that would make me very sad. I have always explained to my kids that I would hate to have to piece them back together if something should every happen to them. This along with telling her she has to leave in her birthday suit stops it. We have an alarm on the doors and windows so when opened it goes BEEP BEEP. We also have chains on the doors up very high. As for telling stories, thats just part of being a kid. My daughter does it and I give her some plain white paper and have her draw her stories on it along with words about what is happening. I them take thme to Kinko's and get them lamanaited. This helps. But they need to explain that stories are ok to tell, but when you are telling someone something that could put you in danger or the other person in danger then telling the truth is ALWAYS the best way. That way when you have to say something that is true people will believe you and not think its just another story. Kid will be kids when it comes to stories, but maybe the grandma and dad might think of taking her to talk with someone about her feelings.

What about putting a door knob on the front door that locks from the inside with a key? Also they sell alarms that sound off when you open a door or a window. I used them when my son first learned to unlock and open the doors. They are about ten dollars for a set of four and you can screw them in so the child can't remove them. They sell them in the home improvement section at Walmart. I would suggest not letting her see you put them on so she is surprised to hear the alarm. I also wouldn't allow her to see where they are when you turn them off. Let her think it's part of the door...a kind of magic to tell you she is getting out. If she learns to turn them off, they won't work anymore.
They make window locks that are pretty hard to remove too. I have them on my windows with the alarms.

While all the gadgets and gizmos to help keep her confined sound good, ultimately, the child needs to see a counselor to find out why she is escaping or "running away." Most likely she has not acquired the vocabulary to describe her problem or "need" to the adults around her. A professional is better equiped to get to the root of her problem.

Good advice from LG. I was going to mention the dead bolt locks you can have installed that you must use a key on both sides for. Also, for windows, there are these little metal screw on stoppers you can buy that are very strong when installed properly and can keep anyone from opening the window more than a few inches depending on where you have them located on the window frame. I can't unscrew them myself. I would have to use pliers so I would think a 4 year old couldn't unscrew them either. You can get those at a home improvement store I would think. I also like the idea of the little door alarms. I bought a pack of 10 of those at Costco for like $9. I hope they are successful in keeping that little one corralled. It's so scary to think what could happen to her each time she gets out. I feel for her parents/grandparents!