Overcomers What Did You Overcome? Any Blessings Come Out of the Darkness?

hello
good question you pose here.. as everyone has certainly gone thru some type of tough experience. For me, I grew up with alcoholic parents and then was placed in foster care. BOTH situations came with their set of problems.
As for coping... well, like you, I have gone to different therapist (sometimes it takes going to several different ones until you find the right one) also.. I have and still make it a point to read many self-help books. I will say this... you are doing well in the sense that you do appreciate your blessings. Not everyone even realizes that despite hardships, we also have blessings and to me having a sense of gratitude definitely lends itself to the healing of one's soul. Additionally, you will have setbacks... there are no overnight cures. However, keep this in mind.... look at far how you have come, see that WOW...you have survived a lot.. also.. never thought I'd be saying this.... when people used to tell me.. forgiveness helps you heal and move forward.. I would like.. oh yeah sure... but recently.. after 30 years I finally decided to forgive my foster father who molested me..... yes, forgive.. I wrote him an email (of course I never heard back) but that didn't matter.. I did it for me.. now my point is.... having gone thru what you have, do you have someone you could forgive? Once I finally decided to forgive (not forget) but forgive that guy, my world opened up even more.. all of a sudden I felt even more free.. I told him I no longer wanted this silent bond between victim and perpetrator... I was setting myself free.. gotta tell you, since I did it.. food which is also my vice :) hasn't been as important to me.. I have lost a few lbs... and I attribute this as a result of my forgiving..
now I will also say it took me MANY years to get to this point. you can start small... and if forgiving isn't on your list, then start with simply forgiving you.... you say you are hard on yourself... ok.. start there... each time you catch yourself saying negative to yourself, STOP catch yourself and say.. NO.. I am not going to keep doing that. you see, you need to break that cycle.. so instead of the negative, replace with something positive.. this sounds all simple but it does start with you.. a positive you on the inside will result in a positive you on the outside.. it's a slow process but you can do it.. you've already come this far and for that you should be praised!! :)

A serious waterskiing accident that took seven years to get better, but lead me to become a physical therapist . Today 26 years later I am a chronic Pain specialist.

my divorce. I overcome it to find god and to learn I can take care of myself and learned to be happy with myself and not depend on someone to make me happy. I found true happiness when I got divorced. I am in a darkness situation now and know when I overcome it I will be 10x happier than I was before it. I cant wait to see the rainbow. because the pot of gold should be huge as many trials as I have had the last 4 yrs. ps it took me 6 yrs to get over it and not hate men for what my ex did to me.

The greatest battle I ever fought was when my fiance' died. This happened 3 or 4 days after we set our wedding date. I went from feeling like, "life can't possibly be this great", to the bottomless pit of depression and despair.

Making it harder was the fact that my family didn't know how to deal w/ it so they avoided talking about it, my mother told me to just stay busy, etc. After THIRTEEN YEAR.......Yes, I said THIRTEEN YEARS.......I realized the busy-ness WASN'T cutting it! I admitted myself to a Christian mental health facility for 10 days. It was one of the scariest, but BEST things I've EVER done for myself.

Once I left, THEN I had to put into practice the new ways of thinking and new ways of dealing with things. I should mention that I had LOTS of physical problems, too because I kept everything inside (like mom told me to :(

I read all kinds of books on healing, RENEWING THE MIND by Casey Treat and HOW TO STOP BEING YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY by Earl Wilson were two of the most impacting. We actually have done both of these in my Bible study in the past year. The book by Earl Wilson is out of print but you CAN find it on Amazon. WELL WORTH getting and reading. EVERY adult should be REQUIRED to read this book!!!

In addtion, my source of hope, healing, guidance, direction, wisdom and discernment are ALL things I've learned from reading my BIBLE. It hasn't steered me wrong ONCE! It's much harder to do the right thing that act on emotion, but it will ALWAYS be the source of integrity and wisdom. Emotions cause you to do all kinds of destructive things. We tend to believe all kinds of lies, etc that keep us from where God wants us to be -- in ABUNDANCE.

I learned that I was so busy DOING that I missed out on the BEING for 13 years!!! I'll NEVER get that back, but I feel I have made up for some lost time, as best I can.

You CLEARLY need to find another coping mechanism - how about EXERCISE....something CONSTRUCTIVE vs. destructive. Clean a closet, take care of a project but SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE. This requires some thought vs. reacting on emotion (there's that word again). THINK - am I doing something that will benefit.......or sabotage me? If you sabotage yourself, you end up feeling WORSE.

I've got clients who are working on this and one of them has recently really begun to make constructive, impacting decisions AND lost 10 pounds in the last month. Making good choices is empowering to continue moving FORWARD rather than backward or staying stuck.

Think about it......write down your goals, have someone HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE. Join a support group or Bible study or women's group, if you have to. It will be WELL worth it!

The battle has helped me to become a strong, secure woman of wisdom, discernment and patience. I'm all the time getting comments and compliments on all of those things. People now come to me for advice because of what I've been through and the strength I've allowed it to bring to my life.

You CHOOSE to let the battles make you better, stuck, bitter or whatever. It IS a choice! I chose to rise above the pain, depression, disappointment, etc. and the results are beyond words.

FYI - google INDIANAPOLIS WOMAN magazine and go to FEB '99. My pic is on the cover and you can read more about the story, if you want. I've grown so much even since then.