Disclaimer: I hate that name. I think of a lady with a deformed and abnormally large vagina! Mine is not either of those. Now that you know I have appropriately shaped and sized parts I will continue on.
Today I found new pants. Woohoo packing and reorganizing gave M. new clothes=) So I put on my new found pants and shirt. They have plenty of room in the waste and go to the appropriate length which is important and hard when you are 6 foot, although I have to say if there is ever a flood my outfit will usually remain untouched=) These pants although roomy still are fitted. As I look in the mirror and check out my butt, I am happy that is seems to envelop every inch and make my back side look fitted, toned. As my cousin says to M., I look like I have a yoga butt in these pants=) I do the butt flexes and shakes in the mirror and get down and dirty. All for good reason of course. I mean if we have an office grinding party I want to make sure I can perform accordingly. The pants pass all dance, grinding the air, and flexing tests I throw at them, so I walk out the door, flexing and catching a glimpse of my butt in the mirror and am proud!
Until (dun, dun, dun) I walk into the caf and catch a glimpse of my front side in the reflection from the door. Oh No! I have Camel Toe! I grab my tea and croissant and then proceed down the mile long hallway. Passing every hot surgeon, doctor, and tech I can. I say hi quickly and I try and hide my lady parts by holding a croissant right in front of it. I can’t help but be embarrassed but still rather amused by covering my appropriately sized parts with a huge croissant.
So ladies have you ever showcased your vagina in such a wonderful way before?
Have you ever walked out and realized Oh no! Camel Toe?
Are there any solutions to pans that do this
Also another question. I have yoga pants that do this too. They hug every inch of M., I like the way they look but they do give this look.
What are solutions?
I wear a thong or nothing if that helps.
Thanks Ladies
Men: have you seen this? what are your thoughts? are you embarassed for the ladies, disgusted, or do pleasant thoughts cross your mind?
Heather full coverage underwear would not prevent this. my thong covers my front side. I dont see how this would work. please educate M.=)
Jo I'm going to make it my mission to keep walking with objects shaped like a vagina that are huge in front of M.. suggestions? they don't have tacos today....darn it!
Dad on pupose I had to do everything to stop from laughing out loud at your thought.. you're probably safe in assuming it wouldnt be good if you said that=) although I think since I'm aware I;d laugh and agree if I guy told M. and ask him to walk in front of M. blocking my "hoochie"
Laurie, I tried a diferent skirt same cut and it worked. i think you're right on on M. reasearching for a few companies...i wouldnt wear these normally...probably why i only found them when packing=)
Only here folks, can we as adults discuss camel toe..... 'shakes head'....
Yes, I've seen this phenomenon you speak of. Embarrassment nor disgust cross my mind. I'm a boob guy.........
Thanks for sharing..... I think....... ;)
I think that better underwear would solve the problem. If that area is smoothed out by fabric the pants won't cling in unsightly ways.
I'm only answering the man question -
I have seen them.
I think - oh man, I hope some woman tells her that her hoochie's out, cuz it would be so weird for M. to tell her.
Generally pleasant thoughts. Although those with inappropriately sized parts or pants make M. feel more humorous about it.
Camel toe is a fashion fail.
And I promise, it is in no way a turn on to men,
If you want to keep wearing the pants, consider a longer top, maybe even one long enough you can belt it, but that covers your lady bits.
You have a wonderful body obviously. Tall, thin, toned. But it seems you have a certain taste in clothes, that maybe do not actually fit your body shape. .
The skirt that rode up, was not that the skirt was too tight, but that your shape did not fill it out to hold it in place. It takes a waist and a bit of hips, not J. butt, to hold it in place.
The pants creating a "camel toe" shows you have a very long and thin torso and so you will need to purchase pants with a longer crotch to waist ratio.
I have been in retail for way over 30 years and I totally understand your dilemma..
Fashionable clothing that actually fit you. Average woman sizes are not in your realm. So it is hard to find clothing that will actually fit you, be in your taste range and available to you.
IO suggest you really research the companies that specialize in your height, shape and style. I googled Tall, Thin, fit female body clothing.. and a few companies popped up.
Order some different things to get an idea of what sizes work best for you. That way when you need clothing you can order accordingly.
You are a one of a kind, so you do not want to look like everyone else anyway.
HAHAHA!! Thanks for the laugh. But I'm sorry for your predicament...
I hate to say it, but the pants don't fit. Like someone mentioned below, the rise isn't right for your body type. There you go, excuse to buy new pants.
J. to add my own story - one time I did an aerobics class at my gym. This was back in the early 90's when lots of women wore leotards. Well, one woman in my class had her leotard on BACKWARDS. Luckily she thought to wear tights underneath. But hello camel toe! I almost couldn't make it through the class without laughing, because she was totally oblivious. I wonder if I should've said something?
OMG. I J. died laughing at your post (not your dilemma). Sorry this happened to you, and sorry I don't have any suggestions. But on a good note, you would be an awesome humor columnist. :)
I had to Google camel toe to find out what it meant.
Personally I don't like clothes so clingy or tight that they give M. a full frontal wedgie (or wedgie of any kind).
I never cared for thongs (butt floss) either.
I like to think I'm more than a walking talking vagina.
A lot of the fashion choices out there right now are all about putting a spot light on it.
"Hey! Look! I've got a crotch!".
Um, congratulations?
Most mammals with an even number of legs share the same criteria one way or another.
Something left to the imagination is a lot more sexy.
This happens when the rise of the pants is wrong for your body type.
Use a pantyliner, it makes the area look more straight and stiff, so the pants won't ride up to much at front.
honestly.....if the pants are giving you a camel toe then they don't fit!!!!!! I know you said they do but if they really did they wouldn't be riding up in the front like that. Maybe they are J. too high of a cut? so they sit up too high on your waist causing the camel toe, either way you either need to throw out the pants or only wear them with a long tunic type shirt that cover's your front.
OMG, J. M, you J. totally opened my day with some much-needed laughter when I thought of the coffee club gauntlet so THANK YOU!!! I must say, I don't have pants that do this, but my bikini bottoms all seem to cup and mold to my bits when I get out of the water. I've never had a croissant on hand when I exit the water, but that is certainly an idea!
I have nothing to say other then this post made M. LMBO!
ooohhhh wow!!! sorry - I had to laugh!!!
ummm no... I've never had this that I am aware of...i've seen women that do...eeewwww...when I've tried pants on in the dressing room I've seen it once or twice..but that meant they were too small...at least in my book it did.
if you are wearing a thong instead of underwear or no underwear... that can make a difference.
I don't have a solution for camel toe with pants you already own. Maxipad? Might make it worse. When you buy Yoga pants make sure they have a diamond shaped gusset designed especially to prevent camel toe. I especially like Lululemon. Super expensive, but never camel toe, and they make everything look fantastic!
I think that wearing full coverage panties would help. Thongs and commando are not appropriate for everything. I say it all the time--There are worse things than panty lines. Please spare us all and wear panties that fit.
ETA: Because of the way that the fabric is cut to spread across the back, it should affect the front spread. If not, then maybe your lady parts aren't as "appropriately sized" as you think.
Oh, and great writing, by the way. I really enjoyed the read.
Oh my goodness, thank god there are a million mirrors in my bedroom area.
Have you tried squishing the waist down unnaturally low? It may be uncomfortable but it should remove the toe effect. Of course it will also make the backside look baggy. Otherwise pick out objects in your office you can walk with until the day is over. :)
Do you have a "very important" file you could carry around? Looking around my desk I wouldn't rule out carrying my adding machine claiming I am looking for someone to fix it. :S
ARe you pulling the pants up too high? That will do it. also if you are short waisted this will happen more.
I like the panty liner idea. I'll have to try that in the future. As far as the thong coment - not sure what kind of thong Heather wears, but mine look the same as brief underwear in the front, they are J. missing the back ;-) So, I don't really see as how that would affect the front camel toe looking thing.
LOL LOL LOL.
ETA: Alexis R., you are way too funny. Your last paragraph is priceless.
J. M., I saw your profie picture, its a real dog. I don't see it wearing a camel toe or not would affect men one way or the other.
(I don't like th description either, but camel toe soulds a lot better than cow toe which looks about the same.)
I love your story, but not your predicament. When I see a camel toe, it says to M., "I shave down there" and "I'm showing off." It doesn't have any more effect on M. that a B cup or larger going bra-less. When a woman walks around with her nipples sticking out like "twin peaks" I know she is J. showing off saying "eat your heart out guys."
Solution? Sew some cloth into your slacks that will mitigate the camel toe effect. Or put something in your thong.
J. don't be upset if I choose to enjoy viewing what you are showing off.
Good luck to you and yours.
WOW- I did not know lady parts were different sizes! learn something every day. Funny story though!
OMG, I'm sorry you're having this issue, but your description of the situation has M. rolling in hysterics over here!
I've noticed that with this one pair of jeans I have to wear "granny panties" or else I get that effect. I'm usually sans panties. (Now the whole world knows...)
I would try the full coverage panties and see if the helps. The only other thing I can suggest is next time, after the "dance, grinding the air, and flexing tests" turn around and look at your "appropriately sized" lady parts to make sure everything is still in place there.
LMAO
I have nothing else to add than - HAHAHA - I am sorry this happened but LOVED reading the story!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who makes sure in the mirror that I'm all set to go...movement wise. If you don't really do it then forget I wrote the first sentence!
Not that I'm aware have I done this...but I mostly wear loose fitting jeans or longer shirts that may help cover. So I've never noticed!
I haven't had this happen to M. so I have no remedies. The few times this has happened in the dressing room, I chalk the effect up to ill fitting clothing and don't buy the pants. I make sure to sit, stand, squat and so on in the dressing room. It's interesting what happens when you move around a bit.
I will say I check the three highlights before I walk out the door - a) do I have camel toe (ewww...gross - when I see this, I only think of how horrifically uncomfortable those pants must be on the wearer); b) do I have rear camel toe (the painted on pants effect went out a long time ago and again it looks uncomfortable) OR jiggly butt syndrome (you know the look where it appears two jello pigs are fighting under your pants with or without the cottage cheese effect? - yeah, super sexy) and c) are the girls in the front covered sufficiently for the occasion (are all of my male conversations going to involve eye contact or staring at my tits)?
Clothing is the one time I envy men, especially where work attire is concerned. Khakis and polos let at least half the male population get ready for work at a good price. Women on the other hand get to struggle with button gap exposing the girls, low cleavage shirts, tight fitting skirts and pants, visible panty lines, clingy fabrics, etc. etc. balanced against affordability. Then again maybe clothing is the bane of only my existence. I have thrown at least one shirt in the trash at the office and put on my shop work shirt in desperation. Somehow having men stare at my chest makes for a long day at the office.
