Opinions Please / Frustrated and Upset

No you are not a bad mom. I wish I would have done something like that when my kids were younger. The are 14 and 19 now and I am trying to figure how to go back to school and keep an eye on them. Harder than you think when they are older. So keep it up!

"...in the end I will complete school and have a better life for both of us."

You are anything but a bad mother. You are motivated.

Just keep focusing on the time you have with your child and make the most of it. Keep working toward your goal and keep your child involved in what you are doing and why. It will serve as a good lesson for her in the value you place on education and the things it can bring to you. You are doing this for her. Talking to her about it periodically can ensure it will continue to work for both of you. This won't last forever, you can do it!

Best of luck!
M.

Jamie, CONGRATULATIONS on pursuing your degree and being such a good example to your daughter! You are teaching her the value of education & hard work. I'm also a single mom, no family nearby, working full-time & going to school. You are doing a good thing, even though it doesn't always feel like it.

I think it's great that so much of the time your daughter spends away from you is when she's sleeping. That means neither of you is missing out on awake time together. It sucks for you because you get no sleep, but since when do moms sleep? (haha!)

I had to call a friend on the way to class last Monday because my daughter (2yrs) was throwing a fit about being shuttled from daycare to the sitter's. Do you have a single mom friend who works? Maybe she can be your "counselor" on the really bad days.

Good luck. Those tough moments will pass & you'll make it! -di

I definitely understand how you feel. I am a single mother of a 3 yr. old and I work from 6pm-6am. I am fortunate to have my parents close to watch her. But I usually work 3 days in a row, so I don't see her at all for 3 days out of the week! It's miserable! Just remember you are doing this so your daughter can have a good life and make the best of the 4 days of the week you have together! It will all work out in the end! PS please tell me where u found an overnight daycare!

I am sure that you are a great mom. You are trying to do better by your daughter by advancing yourself and providing for her. This job sounds like its only temporary so its just to get you to your goal. Don't second guess yourself. Your daughter knows you love her.

Dear Jamie, I know it is hard to be away from your little girl, but if this is going to make your life easier and give you more time to spend with her in the end than it is worth it. You are not a bad mom because you want to get a better job and give your child the world. I went back to school for 2.5 years to get my BS degree and decided to get a better paying job. I held off having children for that but, I now have my 4.5 mo old twins and I am so glad that I decided to go back to school for them. Keep your eye on the prize. You will be able to be with her so much more here in the future. She will always love you no matter how much time you get to spend with her. I am sure you are a great mother and should never doubt you bettering yourself for both of your sake. Good luck and take care!

Every mother goes through stages of feeling inadequate. Your daughter knows you love her, so you are a GREAT mom. I was lucky enough to have my mother to take my son when my situation changed, so I felt a little less guilty. I missed him like crazy, but in the end it's worth it. Just remember to look for the light at the end of the tunnel.

hugz,
J.

You are not a bad mother. You are doing everything you can to better yourself so you can make life better for her. This hopefully just temporary untill you finish school and get a better job right? As long as the daycare you leave her in is trusted and she is being properly cared for that is what matters. Just make the most of the time you do spend with her and shower with all the love and hugs and kisses you can.

Heaven no.. I dont think you are a bad mother.... as a single parent, you have to do what you have to do to support your daughter and yourself. Just try to do things that she wants to do when you hvae time off... show her that no matter what you two go through, the love will always be there... (even tho I know you know it.. she may not)

I would say be open to her about it too... find out how she feels about it, explain to her etc.. I think you should be commended for trying to work, and do school as a single parent... keep up the good work!

as long as you are doing things to better your life for you and your child then you are not a bad mother. i was always told that guilt makes you a good parent, not letting on to your kids makes you even better.

good luck. i wish you the best.

You are not being a bad mother by trying to better yourself and both of your futures! Just remember, it is only temporary. Good luck!

Instead of focusing on the time that you are away from your daughter, focus on the time that you have with her. My sister goes to school and studies hard and takes her son Sam to the park and gives him quality time when she's able. Believe me, your daughter will remember the time you do spend with her, and she will see that her mother did all she could to make a better life for the both of you. Good luck!

As a single mom we have to do things we really don't like to do when it comes to working and our kids. It got to the point with my oldest I used to take her to work with me. She was a baby then and then after hr aunt or uncle got home they would come pick her up. Because I couldn't afford daycare. You are not a bad mom, we all feel that way sometimes. Your child is going to grow up and see that you did what you had to do to give her a good life. Hang in there!!!

J.,
I understand your frustrations. I have yet to recieve a degree - and my first real college credit. I went to a private one-year college and credits cannot be transferred. I will not, though, die satisfied until I get a degree. I see the same issues coming to me in the future and I can't stand the thought of it. I am a single mother and my babydoll is 20 months as of yesterday. I work full time, try to spend every moment I can with her and keep my house and everything else in life, but I do want that degree so badly.
So my advice is... Have you considered on-line classes or maybe only going to school part time? I realize that you want to get through it quickly, but the way I see it, you have the rest of your life to get that degree, but time is something that you will never get back - and that's time with your daughter. See, I believe I need my daughter just as much as she needs me, so it's difficult for both of us when my life is busy. I don't really know what to do, but perhaps you can consider getting through this semester, then going part time. Also, do you have any close friends that would be willing to stay at your home with your daughter or she at their place?
I hope you find a way. Good luck to you. God Bless - I know you are a wonderful mother trying to do the best and make the best life for you and your girl.

hi, for a long time, i was a single mother to my daughter who is now 6 (she'll be 7 in december) and i understand how hard some of the choices you may be forced to make are. i spent a time working two jobs and my daugher was at daycare more than she was with me, but i had to do it just to make ends meet. going to school is good not just for you, but for her future as well. a couple nights a week where she's sleeping at daycare shouldn't hurt her, especially since most of the time, she'll be asleep. keep the future in your focus and know that you're doing what it is you're doing to provide the kind of life for your little girl that you want her to have. as long as she knows you love her and you're doing this for her, she should understand.

Don't feel guilty!!! You have to make sacrifices now for what you want later. You are doing what's BEST for the both of you!! You do what you have to do and just be thankful that you have the opprotunity to do it!! You are doing a great thing and your daughter will see that when she gets older.

I'm a single mom of 2 little girls, my youngest will be 2 next week & my oldest will be 4 in Dec. I work 30 hours a week and attend graduate school online. I was a SAHM until my ex & I separated, then my girls had to go to daycare for the first time. I've had so much guilt over that. But they've adjusted wonderfully. I've taken a lot of grief from my ex about my choices, but I know that I--and consequently my girls--will be better off in the end.

You may want to consider taking at least one class online or going to school part-time, not only to help relieve some of your guilt & frustration, but because you're likely to burn yourself out doing so much. If that's not an option, just make the best use of the time you have with her.

Also, lots of parents work the night shift & what else would a person do if they didn't have family to help? You're lucky that overnight daycares actually exist. And it's just 3 nights. If she's adjusting well I wouldn't worry too much about it.

You don't want to have to work this hard forever so if you can do it now, I say go for it!