Only Child - Warminster,PA

To be honest, I have an only child, and I think it'd be nice for her to have a sibling, especially to help with being more considerate and sharing her toys, etc. I notice my 3-yr old gets very lonely, and she used to always look at other children and call them her brother or sister...very weird!

It was around the age of 4 that my hubby and I decided one wonderful little girl was enough for us. I had my tubes tied around that time too. I came from a small family just my mom, brother and I. My brother is 7 years older too, so I was like an only child. My hubby comes from a very large family, 6 kids total. He had to go to work at 12 years old to have things like new school clothes, sneakers,and money to do things. He wanted to be able to give his child what she wanted.(within reason) and I agreed.
We listened to our friends, family and strangers tell us we'd regret it, and enough of " what if's" to last us a lifetime. But we stuck to our guns!
Now our wonderful little girl is 17, and we have never regreted it! Our Alex is a great kid, she's well rounded,polite, not spoiled, and we have enjoyed her sooooo much! We are better financially then all those friends who told us we'd regret it. We will be sending our Alex off to any school she wants when the time comes because we had the extra money to put away monthly, that probably woulden't have been there had there been even one more. She is very musically inclined and had the time to nurture that, as well as pay for all the lessons. I know money isn't everything...but it sure has helped. I got to stay at home till Alex went to school, Which allowed me to really develope a relationship with her that even the "teens" couldn't ruin. I also got the oppertunity to finish my nurses training while she was little and I was at home. My hubby had her in the evenings while I had classes, then by the time she did start school I was ready to return to work a professional and able to provide even better for her. That time one on one with her Daddy also was important and they also share a very close relationship.
We have friends we camp with they also decided on just one. They feel the same as us. I know that in another year she'll be off to college and i'm sure we'll suffer "emptynest", but thats ok...we have each other,and besides she won't be gone, just growing up. The other nice thing is we will both only be 42 when Alex graduates next year and baby thats pretty young, so the skys the limit for us too!

My son is an only and will stay that way. I had my tubes tied when he was born. I had a miserable pregnancy and horrible delivery, and being almost 40 - well they risks are only higher. It is nobody's business. I don't hear anything because I just say "we can't have anymore"...and people are afraid to say/ask anymore!

When friends/family gets on you...tell them you will have another if THEY pay for ALL the clothing, food, medical bills, etc., and provide free unlimited childcare.

Your family stuff in your household is no one else's business. My mom was an only and LOVED it. My dad had 5 sibs and NONE of them have a thing to do with each other. Family is what YOU decide it to be.

Well i have three kids so none of them are an only child but, i just wanted to tell you that that was mine and my husbands decision. so in other words it is up to you and your husband to decide if someone buts in tell them if you want kids then go have them but we are happy with the one we have.

Hi H.:

I am not in your situation, I myself have 3 children and 2 step children that have lived with me since they were 3 and 5. So together we have 5. However, my brother in law and my brother have only one child. Beleive me I don't think you can make a wrong choice, it's what you can handle and what you think is right for you. I personally beleive that life is very hard and I know that in my family I only have a brother. We were not close until we got older and I'm glad I have someone I can share things with now and who knows me so well. I mean I have my mother and when she is gone I would have no one and I think it means something when your older and your parents are aging to know you have someone else in your family on your side. I mean we are both married my brother and I and we have stresses and we talk about life and just are there for each other.

On the other hand you have so much time to give one child and give that child everything. I don't know if I helped you or not but whatever kind of family you give is the right family for you. Best wishes in your decision!!!!!

Hi, H..
We have one daughter who is 15 months old now, and I hear what you hear ALL the time!!! Nobody wants to believe me when I tell them how serious we are about just having one child and they tell me how it's not right, and my best friend's boyfriend(who just had a bay together) told me that only children are all weird which was such a rude and stupid comment. Also, I have one brother and sadly, he was the worst person to grow up with and I think I would have a better childhood I grew up by myself, and even now, he's not there for me and I don't even talk to him. So when people tell me how horrible is to just have one child, I just smile and tell them to be quiet in my head.

Jin

Were in the same boat! I have a son that turned 2 in Feb. and were content with him. I get on a baby kick every now and then, but when I really think about it, I can't imagian doing it all over again.

I get it from my family all the time. You have to have another one to keep them close in age or it's not fair for him to be by himself. My response to them is, well having multiple children worked great for you guys, but it does not work for every family.

I moved from NY when I was 8 months pregnant and have NO help here at all. Maybe thats a part of why we only want one.

Just answer them sternly so they won't keep prying. Throw in hey are you going to pay and care for the next one LOL..

Good luck!

My daughter was an only for 10 years. I feel strongly she would've been perfectly fine without sibs. She got along very well with kids her own age. She also because she was an only and included in lots of conversations, can carry a very adult conversation and my friends love to be around her. I did end up having 2 more children since my husband wanted some of 'his own', though he adopted my daughter. Had this not been the case, I would've stuck with one and been perfectly fine with that.

Hi H.,

I also am a mother of a 17 month old daughter and am planning to keep it that way. I would have loved to have another one but my health and personal situation doesn't allow that and I have accepted that fact. Initially it used to irritate me when others would talk about when we were getting pregnant again but now I am just enjoying my current daughter’s childhood rather than worry about other people. If you want just one child then absolutely enjoy your child’s ‘childhood’, there won’t be a second time. Do not waste your time and energy on what other’s say!

Take Care
M.

I love both my daughters dearly, but there are times when I wish I had an only child. Tryin to be "fair" all the time can really takes it toll. I feel like with just one child, you can really give them everything they need (and want). I feel guilty that one of my daughters almost always ends up feeling shortchanged. I know I shouldn't worry about that, but I do. If you are set on your decision to have any only child, don't let anyone try to pressure you into having another child. If you do, you may end resenting your kids.

Hi H.. I too have an only child who is three. I have a little girl. I was also very happy as an only child, but my daughter on the other hand was the first to puch me to have another. She always says she wants a brother or sister. I thought for a long time one was enough, but due to a lot of different thing I have recently decided to not "be careful" anymore - if it happens, it happens. It seems like everyone around me is having babies, so I think I've caught "baby fever", lol! Unfortunatly, the man I am with now, may be unable to produce children (atleast with out medical help) so, we have to wait untill we are in better financial shape before we start fertility testing.

I think if you are BOTH happy with having ONE child - then it should be up to YOU - NOT others. I would ask myself if my child would benifit from a sibling or not - some kids do and some don't. I believe mine would, but I also believe I would not have. I really think it depends on your child.

I'm sure I wasn't any help, but I felt "chatty" this morning! LOL! Have a good day! :)

I hear the same thing all the time. My son is 14 months old and both me and my husband have decided that we don't want any more children. All I ever hear from people is you can't have an only child, they grow up spoiled, you'll change your mind in a couple of years. I just keep telling everyone that they'll see. he'll be the one and only. And my parents keep telling me they want more grandchildren so I tell them they can get them from my brother when he starts having kids since I'm not having anymore. It's annoying to hear it all the time, but it's what we both have decided. If people don't like that, that's their opinion. And this is our decission. Good luck!

Well my son is an only child, however I am pregnant, but I heard all that he's gonna be spoiled if he doesnt have a sibling,blah,blah,blah.....what children NEED are loving people in their life......and thats were I would leave it, I'd just say my son plays with his cousins and has friends in daycare.....and I love him and take care of him at home......really its ur choice. Its one of those cases where you just have to let it go in one ear and out the other:)