One -Upping Moms. What Is up with That?

Oh GEEZ, I just hate that.
Thus, I do not befriend Moms like that.
Problem solved.
If they are like that, I do not take them seriously!
There is more to life, than that.

Oy... I agree! And at the end of the day, there's such a wide spectrum of developmental milestones that none of it matters. By the time kids get to be a certain age, all of that stuff evens out.

Sometimes Moms are just so darn proud of their kids that they say things that come out the wrong way, but other times it's trying to be better than the Jones's or whatever that saying is. If I were you I'd find another group to hang out with... that group doesn't sound very fun or supportive to me.

Good luck Mama!

Doesn't sometimes seem fodder for a sitcom? Or do you want a look around for the hidden camera. Geez it is very silly!

Makes small people feel superior. They need it, you don't, because you know that the secret of life is being happy with what you have! They never will know either the secret of life, or happiness. So sad.

I have a couple of kids who you might even conisder to be severely delayed, and oh boy, did they qualify! I used to hate the saying Oh, but you know honey, God will never give you anything you can'd handle" Yuck, that makes me feel ever so much better. But you know, the saying is really backward. God did not give the Oneuppers any challenges, because they can't handle any!

We can't all live in a Christmas letter! How boring would that be? Soon, we will have the "Your Fetus Can Read" program so that they can get that extra leg up, just as soon as their toes are no longer webbed!

Find a group of Moms who wear big girl panties, and don't care who put them on first!

M.

Not to mention, there's: "I didn't need an epidural like she had to....I cloth diaper my children to save the environment...I exclusively breastfeed therefore my children are automatically smarter and healthier than yours...my husband splits the parenting duties with me 50/50 unlike her husband...my children only play with expensive toys that come from little boutiques in the city, my daughter was just called "gifted" by the pediatrician...."

I don't get it either. And truthfully I've stopped caring. All that matters is my little family here, and our little circle of friends and family. Just tune it out.
Those that obsess over those things have very small lives.

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I agree. Sometimes I think it stems from the way that moms tend to "lose themselves" once they have a baby. They have nothing else to talk ABOUT. And many don't "do" anything BUT the baby, so that is their "friendly sport" even if they don't realize it. And of course, the Dads don't want to hear any of this drivel, lol. At least, that's how I seem to think of it.

So awful that women do this. Constant need to feel like they are the best, and so are their kids. My mother always says "Who cares when they started doing all these things cause by the time they are 5 all of them will be doing it, and so what?"
So true! Everyone learns, and develops at different paces, some sooner than others but who cares. Every child is precious in their own way.

Dont associate yourself with these women, it doesnt sound like you will but, they just feel insecure about themselves, to the point they have to use their children to make others feel bad about themselves and families. Shame on them! They are beyond the point of "Proud Mothers".

Top that Topper!! LOL! They are dorks that have no life. Dont sweat it!!

It all stems from insecurity. 'Nuff said.

OH, I hate it too!
I could be completely wrong, but it seems like EVERYTHING has become so child-centric that it is through the child some moms identify themselves. Therefore, just like someone who competes for their own respect, promotions, raises, etc. in the workforce...these moms may compete though their children trying to validate their own worth. I've seen WAY too much of it and the circle I see it the most in, is my own (though I like to think, not myself). That being, mothers who are/were professionals and who either left the work-force or got "mommy-tracked" at their job and lost the "good" assignments, etc. Now, you have a type A driven woman who often has had to work hard, fight, and compete for what she accomplished, without a straightforward "reward". You end up with women who view their children as their "resume" rather than an individual person who needs support and love to grow into who THEY ARE, not who the parents WANT them to be! Sad state of affairs if you ask me.
That said, I have discussed "milestones" with friends, but usually with my first child, more in order to figure out if she was on track rather than " compete". I think you might also see it more with first or only children...but that's just a guess. Great observation!

You kick butt. Those mothers are the type who define the success of their lives by how advanced and wonderful their kids are. It's not about the kids to them, nope. It's about seeing their 'amazing' parenting skills which have obviously led to junior being the best in-the-line coloring champ his preschool has ever seen It's the equivalent to keeping up with the Joneses. Your son being normal, or maybe a little behind in speech (and odds are in one or two years he will be just fine and you would never know he was a little behind the expected time to develop those skills. My son is behind in speech as well) and going to the (gasp) ECI at the school is soooooooo beneath their Homes-and-Gardens idea of the perfect family situation. It's really, really sad. I imagine these are the same closet pill-popers and 10am wine drinkers (er, not that some of us, ahem, haven't done that from time to time) Your son will be better off than those poor kids, what if they develop a problem or don't rise to their parent's expectations. Good for you for finding these moms as a source of entertainment. They are sad, and it sounds like you and your son have a way better relationship than they can hope to have with their kids ;)

A lot of people are like that. I just stay away from those type of people and make friends with non-judgmental Moms.

I don't know why people are like that, but they are.

In my experience there's one of 2 things happening. 1) The moms don't even *realize* they're doing this. They're too busy thinking about what THEY'RE going to say next, that they don't listen to what everyone else is saying. Or, 2) The moms are over-compensating for *something*. Be it a messy house, lousy wardrobe, maybe they fed their kids Lucky Charms for breakfast...whatever....but they're using their children's "milestones" to make themselves feel better.

Take heart in knowing your son is happy and healthy and next time just stay away!! lol

I'll admit it. I didn't even READ your question BUT I just had this conversation with another mom.

We have a "my daughter can do aaaaanything" in our class. We just laugh at her because we KNOW it's not true, kinda sad because she was once a pre-school teacher and should KNOW BETTER to try to one-up another parent.

UGH -- I alternately find mom-petition hysterical or eye-rollingly tedious.

My children do many things better, faster, earlier, creatively, etc. However, when I am talking kids with mom-friends, I am far more apt to focus on the mistakes, delays, and just plain not-so-goods:

Oldest didn't potty train until he has 3 yrs-4 mons
Youngest is very very short
Neither walked until 13 months
One won't ask question in class
One has psoriasis
Etc.

And I know I can be self-deprecating about my parenting and my kids accomplishments because my FRIENDS are the first ones to point out just how awesome my kids are and I do the same for them. This group of moms you are talking about does not sound friendly at all.

I'd chalk this up to poor social skills....and reinforcement of underdeveloped conversational skills by the group.

Really, it's a shame these Moms' social development is so severely ...delayed. ; )

Oh man, I get it from my mother in law a lot and it drives me NUTS. If I wasn't starting something too early (like solid food or putting him in the walker or sitting him up) and doing him damage, he wasn't starting things as early as his 2 year old cousin did. A while ago she told me "you should really start teaching him to walk...you know his cousin was walking with help at 11 months, he needs to catch up." Well first off, he was 8 months old when she said that! And secondly, why does he need to compete with her? I could go on and on about the problems I see with her (she's severely under stimulated because she stays with her grandma all day while mom works and they never leave the house because she's too afraid to get her sick)...but I never say anything because it's not my place. I feel my son is doing fine and I'm happy as long as he's happy. He'll be 10 months on the 28th and if he's still happy crawling around and pulling himself up to stand and bounce...then why should I rush him into walking before he's ready?

I can't stand it when people have to act bigger than others. We're all HUMANS, people! We're all different! I don't fart as many times as my husband per day because I'm different, dangit.

I haven't read the other responses, but I totally know what you mean. It drives me crazy! We just need to support eachother in this very difficult job we call motherhood. When my DD was 7 mos old or so (now 3) a mom asked if she had cut her first tooth yet. When I said, "no" she tried to COMFORT ME!! Don't worry, she will soon. Like I had absolutely ANY control over when her teeth would come in. GEEZ!

Well at least you can vent on Mamapedia. :)

they all need to get a life and get laid :) oops did i say that. gee yours is talking sentences at 2 1/2 mine is 3 and still doesnt do it. mine walked at 14 months both of mine in fact.potty trained hasnt happened yet and i guess i have a severly delayed kid too not. tell them to get overthemselves. my kid is better cause he is cuter :) man some people i love my severly delayed kid :) i would actualy avoid the b**tches and telll them you are going to buy them for what they think they are worth and sell them for what they are worth and retire with my severly disabled kid :)

This reminds me of the time we received a birth announcement where the parents put that their child's APGAR score was 10 out of 10. That measures the child's medical condition at birth. Made me wonder if the child would still be as wonderful if it had a 9.... Trust me, I have a gifted child with Asperger's autism, and a child who was born with Trisomy 18 and only lived three days. I love them both and their milestones, or lack thereof have nothing to do with their intrinsic worth to me. Those mamas need to hope they never have to accept a child that is less than their ideal. Of course, they would never have the character or the parenting skills to do that, likely. Remember that your child is precious and priceless. Just as theirs are to them. He is just lucky that his mother loves him the way he is and doesn't think he has to one-up his peers for him to earn her love.

I am SO with you on this too!! Some parents can be super competitive. It is annoying, and not to mention they are setting a bad example for their children!

I am in total agreement with you! My church did a series about the curse of comparison and clearly you stepped right into a prime example of it! I commend you for staying out of it with these women and for speaking honestly and confidently when someone asked you a question about your child. Take heart that God was smiling at you in that group of crazy women and I have no doubt that your son is very smart with a mama like you. I am a former school teacher and impressed that you observed your child's development accurately and took the appropriate steps to help him with any delays at such an early age. Try not to let this bother you, even though it is hard. It would have made me mad too. Just remember people often cover their own insecurities by being boastful, but my gut tells me you don't have to boast because you are confident in the choices you make for your child. That is truly what is important. Hope this helps you feel better!! :-)
A.

I haven't read the other posts, but I have a friend who is ALWAYS trying to one up me. I get SO tired of it. I feel like can't you let me have my moment to shine if my son did something cute? I find it hard to believe your daughter has done EVERYTHNIG he has. My son had to have surgery on his thyroid and he had his hyoid bone removed. I've never done this, but I almost want to say "My son doesn't have a hyoid bone does your daugher?" I sound so petty, but it gets very old. I think we need to listen to one another more and embrace the differences in our children. Sometimes there needs to be an event that we want to share that is just special to you alone and not a bunch of other kids too. :-)

I think these women just have NO lives and live vicariously through their kids. How sad is that?

I have this fantasy that one day my girls will be off at Ivy League colleges, and I will go find all the obnoxious moms who currently torture me with tales of their children taking riding lessons, being violin virtuosos, and being the next Michael Phelps on whatever stupid swim team they're on, and how modeling agents want to put their kids in photo shoots and whateverrrrrr. And then I will talk THEIR ears off about my darling girls going to fabulous universities, and how are they going to top THAT? LOL

my son also didn't walk until 14 months...couldn't sit up alone until almost 7 months. He has a HUGE head (coupled with a huge body lol) and we would always joke that he couldn't hold his big ol' head up enough to sit up alone. he ALSO didn't sleep through the night until around his first birthday. My daughter is 6 months old and still wakes every 3 hours...i wonder how crappy of a mom they'd think I was! haha....

These moms you were hearing have no lives--and they get their self-esteem built up by putting others down constantly. Sounds like you have a good, interesting head on your shoulders :)

P.S--my mother in law always tells me how my husband barely spoke sentences by his 4th birthday. His pre-school teachers were trying to tell his mom that he was autistic because he was so quiet and didn't act up in class like all the other kids. He has his master's degree and he's a Mechanical Engineer for the U.S. Department of Energy now and is incredibly brilliant, charming and wonderful despite being so "severely delayed" as a toddler.

Oh my goodness!! I have to say, I VERY rarely encounter moms like this... If anything, it seems like moms I know are reassuring. Ew, how annoying!!! By the way, not talking until 2 is SO normal. Our friend's son turned 3 in October and JUST started "really" talking around Christmas. It never even occurred to me that he was delayed... How are you supposed to know at this point!? Ugh... I'm sorry that happened to you. What a bunch of snobs!!!

Makes me freakin nuts. I will not play into it at all. After raising four kids,
I can tell you stories about the "one up" mothers. Not sure what they get out of it.

One word...insecurity!!

I thought you might be from California! Yes, I found that to be the case when I lived in Orange County. I now live in Maui, and we all just take life as it comes and are much less competitive here. We left there for a reason! We did not want our kids growing up in that kind of competitive place. Good luck

it's because our society is stuck on labels and ensuring our kids are properly labeled - ADD, ADHD, delayed or gifted - something instead of "normal" your son is acting like a BOY!!!

My boys? hmmm...Greg has been talking since he was born! (LOL!!) he has been babbling or talking in one form or another since birth! No kidding! He's a social butterfly! He potty trained in one week at the age of 2. Nicky? Oh heck - didn't sleep the night through until he was a year old. Both walked between 10 and 12 months....

My son, Greg, is also a black belt in Tae Kwon Do....but it's about parents wanting KUDOS and attention for their CHILD standing out, being better, doing better, etc. instead of just accepting the child for who they are...my brother will NEVER be an office man like my husband - he is VERY happy being a janitor - but many crinkle their nose when they here that instead of saying "hey - i'm soo happy that you have a job that you enjoy and have grown in for the last 20 years!!!" Yes, he's been with the same company for 20 years and ENJOYS his job!! Unlike my husband who honestly doesn't like getting up in the morning to do the same job he's been doing for 8 years and envies my brother....

Different strokes for Different folks!!! I stopped going to play dates for this reason - these women were driving me insane with all of their "Johnny did this" and like you the next one saying "well, jimmy did this!" instead of enjoying their child's uniqueness and individuality - my son HAS to be better than yours....urgh!!! I don't keep up with the Jones'.

Well MY child.... hee hee couldn't resist! LOL

Sorry you had to go thru all that and yeah some people are just rude.

You need new Mom friends. There are people who are just so competitive that they lose any sight of compassion or sensitivity. Find people who understand that each child is unique, different, and wonderful in their own ways. My mom friends and I love and accept our kids just the way they are and we celebrate each child's accomplishments while helping each other with each child's challenges. Bitchy condescending comments are unacceptable in our group!

I would have been laughing too, just like you, until the mom made the comment about severely delayed. Crappy comment - crappy woman.

People brag about their kids for the same reason they bragged about themselves earlier in life. They are insecure.

Try to find some other moms to hang out with - ones that focus on loving their little girls and guys' spirits and not their accomplishments.

FYI...
My son is nearly 3 and not potty trained, unless you count taking his diaper off and pooping in the back yard.
I qualified for free speech services in kindergarten and first grade, and I am now enrolled in a doctoral program.

Yup! Silly! All my nicest friends make sure NOT to one-up each other-just as with other things in life, money, etc. Bad manners!

These ladies are victims of the over-saturated mommy information world. I ALWAYS ignore these kinds of conversations because I'm old fashioned by nature. I come from a HUGE extended family and I know that kids develop at all different times, and they all level out later, and really WHO CARES what month they start stuff? I think lots of the information breeds fear (and obnoxiousness) in moms, because I personally didn't know many boys talking by 2. Mine didn't speak a word until 2 1/2 , who cares?, and now at three he is a very good talker-again, who cares? My friend's son barely talked at 3 and at 5, doesn't pronounce very well. They walked at different times. Guarantee you, they'll be perfectly similar in 5th grade. People need stuff to talk about I guess, and they're not super nuanced socially.

Okay, I admit it. The one-uppers so intimidated me at one time I actually found myself at a park lying to a pack of them about when my son was born because he wasn't walking yet. Not a proud moment for me. Until the poor little guy took his first steps well into his sixteenth month I hardly went to the park since I was starting to get a lot of well meaning, "have you thought of physical therapy?" type comments. I think a lot of mothers (sometimes I'm one of them) fall into this strange trap. It's starts out well meaning but the compare your kid game can get mean spirited quickly or just be really hurtful to someone who has concerns about their child's development. I pretty cheerfully bow out of those conversations now and often parrot the line that we think my son is healthy, happy and smart and so does his doctor.
Gotta go do Spanish flashcards with my not yet three year old. He's billingual you know..ha. Kidding.

My son walked at seven months, I was so proud until I realized he never walked where I wanted him too...:p My next tried to stand up around 10 months and I kept sitting her down. At around 11 months she gave me what I swear was a defiant look and walked away. The other two it doesn't matter that was my funny story.

That walker didn't talk until he was almost three, why should he the little beast could climb anything and just got what he wanted. He is now 22 and as normal as any offspring of mine can be.

You talk/brag about little one's walking and talking and such because lets face it that is about all you can say about them. It is not like that dropped out of school, made the deans list, out ran the cops. Um only the middle example happened to any of my children.

The other thing is you worry. You worry about who your child will become. The lady talking about her son talking late was only trying to figure out if she made the right choice.

Don't let things like that get to you.

Why don't they just come out and say it? "MY children are better than YOUR children. They always will be, and they are better because they have ME as a mom and not YOU!"

:)

What I think is... wait I thought of a better, more interesting question....LOL
(KIDDING)

I think many of us can relate to this scenario. People honestly seem to believe that how "great" of a mom you are directly corresponds to how soon your child will walk, talk, regurgitate their abc's etc. Any one with knowledge of child development knows that each child develops at his/her own, unique rate; some more quickly and some more slowly. My response to these "one upsmanships" was always, "Well, by the time they go to college, they probably won't even know or remember how many months they were when they walked, said their 'abc's' etc." I was part of a group of mom's where it became en vogue to discuss in great detail how the food they feed their child was healthier then the next mom...UGH! That's when I stopped attending. Just too much. I also think our worlds become very small when we only have our children to focus on. Not that it's all together a bad thing to focus on our children, but a good balance is important I think. Try not to take these moms so personally though. Usually it is merely ignorance and lack of exposure to something "different" that causes such narrow views. You know what you are doing for your child and how wonderful your child is; in spite of the fact that he has a different schedule of accomplishments. Those accomplishments might be even more appreciated by you since he's had to work a bit on getting some of them. I have a "special needs" son and while he can be quite challenging at times, the growth he makes in the area of his "deficits" feel SO fantastic to observe and be a part of...Cheers!

A bunch of women who are insecure!! They need to Get a life....! LOL

Parents especially mothers caring so much pride in their children we all want to believe we have the cutest, the smartest, children, and those who know they don;t feel better about their kids if they can out do someones elses even if it's not true. i'm 54 and i have 3 grown children and I got to telll you mothers have been swaping stories since the begining of time. I did when mine were little. the mom was insencesetive with her commit about your son, she just wanted to feel better about her own son. It;s a mom thing for many moms. J.

This is one of the reasons I no longer belong to a moms group. I know this sounds bad, but frankly, I often prefer friendships with guys because of things like this.

PATHETIC. That is what these moms are. I would totally stay away from these insecure moms. You are so far beyond them. I read an article a long time ago that said something to the fact that "late" walkers are more intelligent due to the fact that the brain has more tiMe to benefit from the crawling movement. I wonder if these moms would be so quick to brag about the young age in which their children have walked if they had read this article. LOL

People do that, not just moms. Men one-up each other about their hunting/fishing adventures, their electronic toys, their jobs, their glory days. Old folks compare health problems and operations, and recall how far they had to walk barefoot in the snow to school, and brag on their grandkids. Kids brag about their parents, their homes/toys/pets, their clothes, whatever they've got. I do it (though I sure do try to notice and stop myself – it's such a gracious thing to take an interest in the people I'm talking to). You probably have times you do it, too.

It's human. It's funny. I've learned to (seldom, anyway) take offense when people are just being people. They'd probably be embarrassed if they watched that exchange later on video. Just listening and laughing to yourself sounds like the healthiest possible response.

Read two books by Thomas Sowell
I gave them to a friend, but the titles are something like:
Late Talking Children
and The Einstein Syndrome.
either from the library or Amazon.
Can't you just take you little boy to the park instead of
putting up with these people?

These mothers have something else missing, a void in their life. They NEED to prove something.

Some of my kids started things early. Who cares. They are happy, confident, amazing kids and that is all that matters.

I am with you. I hear these mothers and walk 2 more feet away. I would rather hang out with my kids then these kind of women.

We should praise ourselves for living hapy, confident, fun lives that we pass on to our children. Not for bragging about who did what first and why they are better. Ugh!

Insecurity, plain and simple.

The only time I comment when my child or how my child does something is when someone makes reference to her doing it or how well she's doing it.

Other than that, I try to avoid the chatty Cathy's, and cliques, and mom's who act like the children are...I can't even think of the word for what I'm thinking. Whatever, yeah,that's it. LOL!

Oh my gosh, my sister used to do that. I was always wondering why that was necessary. And now, our kids are grown and it seems like she still has to do that kind of thing. As for me, I am glad they grew up, they are safe and they had wonderful years and hard years. Enough said. I am with you. It's not necessary. But I guess each mom wants to make sure their own children are marvelous and wonderful, because I guess there are just those times when we feel a little insecure if things might not be going along fine. And they are. And you are doing a fine job.

I could go on for pages but in a nutshell, I'm with you. These woman are pathetic, sad and insecure is all I can come up with. But it drives me crazy too. I like seeing this kind of post bc it reminds me not all moms are like this.

Remember highschool!

We are all getting fat and old and boring (I use "all" as a generalized term) When we get together with other moms we don't WANT to talk about who is the "hottest" or who has the best "boyfriend" anymore....

So who has the best "kids" or more specifically "who is the best mom" is the new "topic of the day". People compare their kids because they are insecure, and trash other peoples kids beacause if they all had to hop on the scale or compare incomes- they might not feel so "superior" anymore.

Every child is different, and perfect. To me, my daughter really IS the best baby ever born. Of course, she is MINE! That said, she lies somewhere between super-genius, and not.

Honestly, these mom's are just trying to reclaim their lost glory from high school or something... at the expense of their kids. Blow them off! I do hope for their childrens' sakes that they don't speak that way in front of them, or they'll have a bunch of kids who grow up to never know their own value beyond anything that isn't "skin deep". I bet they don't brag as much about who has the most compassionate child!

You are doing great with your son. Who cares if he isn't "up to par" speech wise- I can bet that he makes up for it in other areas just fine! Anyways- people are as diverse and unpredictable as the world is "vast" and there is a lot more to life than being the "smartest, fastest, strongest, prettiest... etc). Teach your child to be the most compassionate, hardest working, and happiest (now that is a REAL challenge!)

And then really ONE UP these mom's if you want by being the one who is just plain satisfied with who she is, and the blessing that is her son!

-M.

I really have nothing to offer you EXCEPT :
(raising my hand in solidarity with you!)
:-)
Let it roll off, Mama...you AND your boy are fine !

It will all change when their kids are teenagers!

Hello, These types of women are usually trying to make their child look better than others because they aren't feeling good about theirselves. I am a grandmother and I've seen this so many times. A few years ago, a mother came to me and said, "The boys are finally in the same class. It is a GATE class. But, Johnny (her son and not his real name) is GATE and Jimmy (my grandson, not his real name) is not." (When she told me that they were in the GATE class she said it like I wouldn't understand. I worked in elementary education and knew exactly what it was.) I stood there looking at her, not knowing what to say. I finally just walked away and didn't speak to her for the rest of the year. I had already made it very clear that I didn't like to label children. They all learn at their own rate. The ones who are not pushed to learn earlier are the ones who grow up with a good feeling about themselves. As it turns out, I have three grandsons who do very well in school. The oldest one didn't really talk until he was three and he is in all excelled classes in high school and getting mostly A's. So really, did it matter. He also didn't have any interest in learning his numbers or letters before starting kindergarten. Again, did it matter? Nope. We now have two granddaughters. One is not two yet and I am not around her (lives across the country), so I don't really know how well she talks or doesn't talk. I just love her. The other one has Down's Syndrome. She is smart, cute, affectionate and has a real good sense of humor. She is 2 1/2 and I dare anyone to say anything negative about her. They would have Mommy, Aunties, Uncles, cousins and Grandma on them right now. I should mention that this other woman's son was in Little League with my grandson. They were both equal in ability, but hers had such anger and would yell at the other children and adults. My grandson would never do that. When it came to choosing "allstars" her never made it and my grandson made it every year. so pushing to be the best just didn't work out so well. We stress to do you own best and to not worry about what the others are doing.
You are showing these women that you are a very good mother by not pushing your son. You are allowing him to be him. They will never understand that.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

First of all I bet you half of the things those mothers said was b.s. My kids like any other human being have flaws and strengths no matter what was said they still tryed to better then the other . Your obviously more mature then them. You dont need to surround yourself with ignorant people. I guess as mothers we feel the need to brag about our children. I feel myself sometimes saying how good my son is at sports of course I think he is the best he is my son is there going to be better ? Heck Ya but I wouldnt try to one up another mother. That is so childish

P.S. I have gifted cousins 2 of them and my uncle does this to my aunt and her kids. No one sees it but me that is even more pathetic because he is almost 50 lol. I think storys about amazing kids is great but these mothers should do some research and know that even kids with autism are intelligent but have differant learning styles..

When I hang out with moms at mom groups that's pretty much all we do, talk about our kids and when they did this or that or how to get them to do this or that. I guess we don't know each other all that well and it's all we have to talk about, I certainly don't take offense when some mom says her kid walked at 9 months after I've said that mine walked at a 12. Comments saying these women are "insecure" and "just bragging" are a bit overboard in my opinion. If I hung out w/ them all the time, who knows, maybe I'd feel different.