my boyfriend was in an induced coma and was stuck on a ventilator.(thanks to those who answered my previous questions on the subject and the prayers) he was finally able to breathe on his own yesterday and was taken off the ventilator. He family was extremely nasty, pushy,bossy and just plain old messy with me when he was sedated. my question is should i let them hang themselves and let them call him and try to put the blame on me or should i tell him self. This people were trying to be money hungry with his daughter( She needs to be with family right now,not a stranger, talking about me) but they would have asked for money for watching her while they had her. they tried to get his daughter's mother to turn against me and she wouldn't. they wouldnt let me visit him and would not let me call the hospital and visit him even though we (my boyfriend and i sign papers saying i could do these things before the surgery. It will have to come out because i refuse to deal with this people anymore due to their actions towards me. so should i tell him first or let them hang themselves byt telling on me? thanks in advance ladies!
well his daughter's mother told him what was going on! He is pissed!! I cna't even put on here what he said because they would ban me off mamapedia! i will just say this I'm glad it's not me that he is upset with. thank you ladies for your advice.
Hi C.-
It sounds like your boyfriend needs to focus on healing and not family drama. I think it would be best to keep quiet, journal your feelings and focus on helping him and not his family.
I know that's hard, I have a stinky family too, but it's how I got through some tough times with ill grandparents.
R. Magby
don't say anything to him now. Don't breathe a word of it. You're right to let them hang themselves. Be kind, patient and sweet, that's what he needs right now. he does not need drama (and it sounds like they're going to give it to him.) Be his safe place.
That's great that you have his dd's best at heart and fantastic that her mom does not want to get involved in drama.
I hope he recovers soon.
Love him and let him heal. Let them spew the venom, not you. It's all about character. Good luck!
C., I would suggest you stop focusing your time and energy on the anger you feel toward your boyfriend's family. Put your focus where it belongs, on your boyfriend, his child, and keeping yourself healthy. Try as best you can to be at least polite and civil with them. First off, it makes you look good. Secondly, they are his family. He has a long history with them. Usually blood is thicker than water. His family knows this. That's why they're pushing your buttons right and left. Be kind to them and give them nothing bad to report back to your boyfriend. My thoughts and prayers are with you. P/S I know I'm suggesting something that seems impossible. Trust me, it isn't.
It's amazing what some people can hear while they're in a coma...I have a feeling he already knows what's going on. Let him heal and then they can hang themselves when he's feeling more like normal.
I am glad someone else told him and not you and not his family. These situations can alway be tricky especially when dealing with family. Seems that no matter how close or distant they are and it is usually better for a person other than the main people involved to say something. As Sue wrote try to be as polite as you can and it is so true, they will have nothing bad to report about you and they will also look worse. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for his recovery and peace with the family situation.
i would say something to him as soon as u can but make sure it doesn't effect his recovery and try to stick to your guns the daughter needs it. don't give up on him or her by not being able to deal with those insensitive non family people. yes your in our pprayers good luck
