OMG! Rant...

She should let it go. The woman didn't want to be texted anymore. She is well within her rights to stop asking. She was not "Inhumane," for goodness sake! Just becuase this woman had cancer, does not mean it has to be the cause her friend decided to take part in. She is taking HER personal battle and assuming it should be EVERYONE'S battle. Having cancer does not mean everyone you know should have to take part in her charitable events.

Some people still pay for each individual text they send AND receive (yeah, I know, hard to believe!).

So while the cause is EXCELLENT, the means of rallying support, not so much!

:)

I would just remove her from my contact list and move on. Wouldn't worry about it. The mother is no longer interested for whatever reason.

I don't get what part of "stop texting me, not interested" is rude, inhuman or full of shhh. It's just a simple statement. Nobody should lose sleep over it. Not everybody in the world can come out and support your cause. If they did, where would you put them??

I don't think any response is necessary. Especially if it would be another text. Many of us pay for texts. I don't like to receive them either.

Ummm, when someone says "STOP texting me, not interested", the last thing you do is text some more to stand your ground. Where does that thinking even come from?
I am very supportive of different causes, especially dealing with cancer, but not everyone is on the same bandwagon as everyone else. Not everyone wants to get repeated texts or e-mails and that doesn't make them inhuman or full of *#^%.
She's not interested.
Move on.
Why lose sleep over it instead of focusing on all the people that ARE contributing in some way?
I'm not mentioning any names, but what if people from certain religions were at your door every other day and you clearly said you weren't interested so they showed up every half hour to prove their point and defend their "cause"?
You'd think they were lunatics with nothing better to do. Right?
Sometimes STOP means nothing more than STOP. Nothing personal. Nothing to lose sleep over.
Let it go.
No offense, but for the record, this is why I do not have texting or let my son have it either.
I'm not heartless. I just save myself a ton of issues.

I hope your event is very successful!
Best wishes!

She should let it go, no response. She said "STOP texting me", so stop. I'm sorry, but no matter how worthy your cause, texting people to ask for money is even more annoying that telemarkers calling your landline to ask for money. We're all inundated with requests these days. A mailed announcement or even a mass email to advertise your event once is enough. More than once is rude.

While I certainly applaud the cause and fundraising event and all the good intentions of the participants... I have to side with the woman who said "STOP". I am not a big fan of people texting me. I do not pay by the text (at least I never exceed the amount I prepay for), but there was a time when I did. I would have been very annoyed to have received solicitations (that IS what they were) that I was paying for. But even now, I would not want to receive multiple texts about it. ONE text, I would probably shrug it off; while at the same time thinking to myself that it was not the best way to approach people-- it is rather personal and assuming if you ask me. But MORE than one text, for the same thing, in a "mass text" I would be ticked. No matter the cause. The fact that some people might be inconsiderate by NOT "RSVP'ing" does not justify rudeness on the part of the person issuing the "invitation" to continue to text over and over.

I happen to think that texting should be reserved for personal conversations in personal relationships. Not for "mass" communication. That is a BIG turn off.

Is your friend sure that the daughters friends mother even knew who the text was coming from? If she doesn't have her as a contact in her phone, she may have thought that it was just coming from some sort of SPAM texter. I know that I have gotten some solicitation texts and they say at the very end - to quit receiving these texts reply "STOP" - Her response to your friend just reminded me of that so maybe she thought that was what it was. But even if that is not the case, I think that you friend should CALL the daughters friends mom, and apologize and let her know that she will not send her anymore texts regarding the fund raiser. She also should not take the response personally.

I think she should let it go... not every person wants to donate. For all you know, the woman who texted back donates to another cause... If she doesn't want to, don't shove your cause down her throat. Different people have different priorities. The woman who texted back has every right not to want to be solicited on her cell phone. She definitely could have been more polite about it, but she probably thought it was rude to be getting the text in the first place...

sorry if I sound a little harsh, and I do feel for your friends. I have an aunt and a grandma that battled breast cancer, plus 4 other family members with other types. I know that to the families and friends of people affected by it, cancer is a priority. But those who haven't been there generally aren't as sensitive to the issue.

No response. The woman made her point. Rude? Sure. A call to action? Nope.

Just because she is a champion of the cancer cause does not mean everyone under the sun is. I think she's a little sensitive because it affected her so personally and deeply.

However, I actually think it is tacky to be sending out mass texts for an event that is so important. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think paper invitations or fliers would be more appropriate. Texts are quick, casual chats or reminders - not an invitation to a significant even such as this.

If this woman has gotten several texts from others inviting her to an event she isn't interested in, then your friend needs to STOP texting her. I don't think she's being rude at all - she's asking your friend to quit being rude and to leave her alone! Texting her back to respond and defend herself is like throwing fuel on the fire. Why waste the time and energy on someone who is not interested? Instead focus on making the event a success and quit bothering the other woman.

How many times did she text about this in total? 10 times? 100? You know what it doesn't matter because if is more than once then it too many times! Some people still have to pay per text, so it is REALLY rude to use texting as your personal facebook.

I agree that texting is not a good way to contact people that are not personal friends, and mass texting could definitely be seen as rude. (I certainly don't like to get texts that I have to pay to read and respond to.) Maybe the woman for whom you are hosting the event has been being too agressive for this mom's comfort level. I think she should not respond (or at least definitely not by text which may be costing this person money) and if she does respond, the response should be that she is sorry to have sent unwelcome solicitations and she hopes they can still be friends for the daughters' sakes.

To be honest, maybe she IS not interested. Some people just do not like getting a text more than once. Even thou I think she was harsh......I would let it go. You really just do not know what others may be battling. But Good luck with the fund raiser!

As a person who has to pay for each text she receives (if you are indeed talking about texting on a cell phone), I would say just leave it alone. Yes, some people are insensitive and suck...

I agree, the woman could have responded with greater tact, however if she doesn't have texting as part of her cell phone plan, she might be getting charged $0.50 or more per text! I don't know how many texts she received on this subject, but that could add up quickly. (And then having to pay to reply...)

Maybe next time use eVite, Facebook, e-mail, or even good old-fashioned paper invitations rather than texting.

I'm sorry but if there have been a lot of texts already etc, this woman was entitled to ask to receive no more... She could have done it nicely and I wouldn't have done the same thing in her shoes but I'd let it go. Maybe she's innundated with other requests and the text came at a bad time for her.

My question is how many times did she text? There is a difference between 2 and 20 and I know many people do not have unlimited texting and it does cost per text.

Personally, I don't think I would respond to the mom who said stop texting. Just let it go and remove her from your list.

I am all for helping people out but I get numerous calls daily on my home phone (enough that I have unplugged the phone) from diabetes, breast cancer, homeless, you name it. It gets old after a while. I don't think mass texting is successful either.

Hi AG,
I have to say, as someone who works in the non-profit sector as a development person, I don't like mass text to announce an event.

Receiving Text messages does cost people money, and although it is just a few pennies per text, I don't want to lose their potential larger support for a few pennies. When signing people up for event notifications do you ask for the preferred method of contact? Some likes email or snail mail, some have unlimited text - if you tailor your requests to their contact preferences you get a better response. Also, with text you have too be very careful of what time of day you are sending the message out - optimally, between the hours of 9am and 3pm...that allows for people to have gotten to work, complete morning chores, etc. and before kids get home from school, work commute, etc.

Definitely don't say anything to the other woman about her "Stop" response. Oh, and take that woman off your contact list!!

With that being said, please tell your friend not to let one rude response steal her joy.

Good luck with you event!!!!!

I would text back, apologize for the inconvienance and suggest an RSVP next time,

"So sorry to have bothered you. I was going through the invite list and sent out texts to those who had not already taken time to RSVP. I will be sure to make a note that you aren't interested as not to further disturb you. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Again, sorry for the disturbance."

I don't even know how to text,feel like a Dinosaur.I think they have been both wrong.But eventhough, you always try to say things nice, in Germany we say," the tone makes the music."

Regardless whether it was right, wrong or the woman has some excuse to why she responded the way she did....your friend should just let it go.

Good luck at your fundraiser!

I would also not focus on the negative. Txting is shorthand writting. So she wrote the pertanent info and sent it. I think your friend is hurt because it's personal to her. But she is strong and a survivor right? She shouldn't let this get the best of her when she has stood up to tougher things in her life.

The responding mom should have had a little more tact, but that is what texting is doing to our society, it makes some things impersonal. There is no need to defend herself against the tacky text, moving on would be best. That mother could be best taken off the contact list. Something like "sorry i wont make it, not interested" would be a little classier, but letting it go is best.

I have limited texting and would be irritated to get repeated texts from someone soliciting no matter what the cause. I lost both my parents to cancer and had to tell my own sister to quit it with the mass amounts of texts and emails regarding Relay for Life.

she may not know who the texts are coming from which would explain the coldness of her response or she was just fed up with it. I'd let it go if I were her.

She should say..."i'm sorry to hear that you are not interested, but please keep my number should someone in your family ever need support when faced with cancer."

I would not respond. The problem with text (or e-mail or posting here) is that you have no facial expression, no body language, no cues at all to help you figure out what someone's thinking.

The woman might be self absorbed and clueless, in which case talking to her will NOT help at all. She might be feeling stretched too thin, with too many obligations and not enough time or money, in which case she felt hounded by repeated invitations to something she knew she couldn't attend. She may have been having a rough time when the last text arrived, and she snapped because it was a reminder that she doesn't have the money.

Yes, she should have politely turned down the first request, but it can't be undone.

Let it go, and concentrate on the good you're doing together. Congrats!

I run a lot of fundraisers, and I would never text people about it. To me, email is the way to go as it lets the receiver choose when they want to read the note. I believe that texting is too immediate and too pushy. So, I assume the receiver feels the same way I do about texting. I don't think they should have responded meanly, but clearly they felt hounded by the texts. I don't feel like your friend should respond and defend her cause. She knows her cause is just and that is all that should matter. Your friend should just let it go and if she see that lady in person, she should say, "I am so sorry if my texts about the fundraiser bothered you. That was never my intention". And then move on.

I agree and disagree with the bulk of the previous responses, so here goes.

It's valid that the mom might pay for texts, or not have known who the text was coming from, etc...however, bottom line she was rude. I don't recommend texting her back, but if this is someone who you tend to have frequent interaction with then it's totally appropriate to call/email or in person just say-hey-I'm sorry if I offended you with so many texts.....etc, etc. Then she can set her mind at ease if it was intentional or not-and if it was, well then you know not to bother with her anymore.

Why is it ok for the woman to be rude and not be called on it? So she might be paying for texts, not care about the cause-who cares. She's rude. That's the point here.

If she doesn't want to support that persons cause-I'm sure all those involved understand not everyone can support everything. The causes people support are usually very personal to them so it's easy to see why your friend took a personal offense.

At least the woman read the text. I dont' even read mine if they are not from my daughter. I even call my hubby back if he texts me, without reading first. I think they are so impersonal.

So, in my opinion the woman could have said something with more tact, but maybe she did and it didn't ge through to your friend.

Next event send out invites on paper or evites and make one reminder by phone call.

Hmmmm...that's a tough one. I organize an annual charity/fundraising walk in Orange County for the Preeclampsia Foundation and I do bug my friends and family a LOT about it...but you have to sort of do it as softly as you can. First, I don't text. Not everyone has a deal with their cell phones that covers all texts and maybe the friend doesn't have that and the texts are costing her money? I say, stick to Facebook, stick to e-mails and talking with people about it personally...also just know when to stop pushing...it's a fine line and you're right. It's hard to understand why people don't support something you're so passionate about, particularly when it has effected you personally as preeclampsia has for me, but you also don't want to turn people off...I say, let it go. Maybe she's been fortunate enough not to be touched by something yet that brings her to action like you and I have. I know for me, I'm so much more sensitive to supporting other causes now that I have one so close to my heart.

Take care.
-M

Though your cause is a good one I actually do not feel text are the proper format for invitation especially to a paid event. Text also cost some people money when they receive them though the cause is a fantastic one and very personal in this instance ignore it as the mother of her daughters friend is obviously not her friend but perhaps and acquaintance

WHEW!!! That got me all fired up so I'm glad that it was a misunderstanding. I'm glad she spoke up too. Wow!!

Personally, I wouldn't text the woman again. There are all kinds of people in this world, don't let one ruin it for everyone else. Not everyone is going to see how important this is, and that's just sad. I feel what goes around will come around.
I'm sure you will have a great turn out and these brave women are survivors and strong! Focus on the positive and the support that you do have. Don't waste anymore sleep over this woman who doesn't even care.

No. Dont respond. Drop it. And drop the friends mom. Its too bad the woman is so crappy, but dont draw out the drama anymore. Dont send good time after bad thinking about her or communicating with her anymore.

She's a crappy person and just write her off and focus on the dozens of wonderful supportive people in her life.\

Forget her and move on. Life is too short to waste time on people like that.

So glad that got cleared up!!!!

If the person asked not to be texted regarding fundraisers etc. than those wishes should be respected. Just as your friend would like to be respected for her battle and hard work. db

ignore her.

Why bother? let her use her energy somewhere else.