Call or Text?

I'm always shocked at some of the things that people choose to communicate via text. This should have been done by phone. Personally, anything that is time sensitive or just plain sensitive should be done by phone or email where a person can try to put the necessary feeling and nuances into the conversation.

Call.

Would you seriously want to get a text saying: "Sorry to announce, X died"?

Yeah, a call takes longer and you have to deal with people's reactions, but that's what the point of the call is. A text is just cold.

News is news. I personally prefer texts because they allow me to process things before I have to talk to anyone. Texts are easier to send, so whatever someone needs to do when sending a message I'm OK with. I know it's more common for people to feel respected by being called in person on things, but not me!! I prefer texts or emails. If it's a REALLY close, familiar friend, I'm comfortable on phone, but still comfortable with their texts also so..

Even if I did prefer calls, in this particular event, I would see no point in making this about me and my feelings about what kind of message I was sent.

Sorry for your loss. It's really hard to hear any way, but text would be difficult.

That being said, when I heard of things in my family - my brother in law called me. My sister was too upset. So take that into consideration. I've been asked before to call so and so on behalf of a friend or a family member.

I think in times like this, it's important to just be honest and respectful - I would mention to your sister at a later date that you were hurt she didn't call you but will understand if she was too upset to talk. Give her the opportunity to apologize or explain herself. I think that's the only way to mend these kinds of things.

All the best :)

** You don't want to resent your sister .. not everyone handles grief well.

Do you really need to ask? Texting the news of a death of a family member is a crude (and rude) way to go, and frankly, that is not the way I would want to hear the news. Just because you CAN text, and it's EASY to text, doesn't mean it's the right or respectful way to do it.

A death in the family warrants phone call. If you can't make all the calls yourself, enlist someone to help you.

Pick up the phone and make the call.

seriously?
That reminds me of the viral "moms shouldn't text" screenshot where the woman informed everyone that "Aunt Sophie has died. LOL" (thinking that LOL meant lots of love).
No, texting would be incredibly tacky.
Sorry for your loss. Pick up the phone.

I'm truly sorry for your loss!!

A death in the family, IN MY OPINION, requires a phone call or face-to-face.

that's NOT something I want to hear about via text. It's cold and rude.

Just another example of how we, as a nation, need to LOOK UP!

IMO, there are things that require a phone call (engagement, births, deaths, marriage) and there are things that require a written note/card (thanks, new home, etc).
HATE the email invitations, never email a proper thank you!

I'm sorry she texted you and I'm sorry for your loss.

Call.
The most I'd use a text for is to say "Important info - I need to speak with you - Please call ASAP".
And then relay the news during the phone call.

Wow! I am so sorry for your loss and just so sad to hear that you learned of her death via text message. As hard as it might have been for your mother or sister to make phone calls, we know that would have been the better decision and that you might have even volunteered to make a few yourself, had you been asked.

What's done is done, so I am sending to wishes of comfort and peace as you grieve the loss of your grandmother.

I think phone call is preferable. .but I would not be upset or cause drama if I received a text from someone. ..I think a call would be better for you to notify people though if at all possible.

Sorry for your loss

Updated

I think phone call is preferable. .but I would not be upset or cause drama if I received a text from someone. ..I think a call would be better for you to notify people though if at all possible.

Sorry for your loss

Condolences to you and your family. I know you feel really hurt, but keep in mind, people are doing their best during these very emotional times.

I agree, an actual phone call is what is needed at this point. I can understand if you all knew she was going to pass at any moment and you needed to tell a lot of people at the moment, I would MAYBE text, but I would explain that I was not able to call at the moment, and would call ASAP. I certainly would have called you if you were my sister.

When my grandmother died, it was only me, our daughter and my step mom there. The rest of the family was completely exhausted from holding a vigil in her Hospice room for days. One of her sisters even slept in the room for over a week! She had not left the facility, except to step out on the patio. We had encouraged all of the old aunts and their children and my uncle , my father and his wife to go out to dinner.

Once they were all gone, I told my grandmother 9who was not conscious) , "not to worry, she could go." "She did not have to protect anyone anymore, we wanted her to go on and be with her baby( she had lost him when he was 3) and her mother and father."

About 40 minutes after they had left, I noticed my grandmother was taking her last breaths. we held her hand and told her we loved her and that we would miss her and never forget her.

I think she had been waiting to be able to go without upsetting all of her sisters and her sons.

We then started calling all of them to let them know, we told them to finish dinner and not rush back, because we were going to try to find a priest to hold a rosary in the room for all of them.

To some of the close and distant relatives, I did send some text, to let them know she had died and I would call them back. Or they could join us for the rosary in an hour. There were 3 of us all calling and texting, but we had to send text to some people.

I am going to start ranting and raving here.Texting is a very poor substitute for a real conversation and a lot of things. In this case I definitely feel a text is well quite frankly terrible. Plus words can be skipped or you might not get the text, and I think a phone call would be kind. I have received thank you texts for graduation gifts (uh, hello, sent you $50.00 and you send a text?) mailed baby shower and wedding gifts - "thanks for the uh gift?" we need Ms. Manners to come back. ok. I'll stop

distant or uninvolved family members and acquaintances could be notified by text, i guess, if you're overwhelmed (which i totally get.) but any family member who knew the deceased fairly well and will be upset should definitely get a phone call.
khairete
S.

Phone call for this type of thing.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I understand that it may be difficult to make a lot of phone calls and repeat the information when it's painful. However, if you are close enough to people to have their cell phone numbers, you have to make the calls. I think it's more than acceptable to divide them up among a few of you. It's also okay to call a few people and ask each of them to call their own siblings or children on your behalf. So I would call the people you're closest to, inform them, and then delegate - sort of a phone chain.

Once the news has been sent out by phone, I think it's okay to group text or group email the link to the obituary, the funeral home and any on-line tributes such as Legacy. That allows them to send the same info to their friends.

Call for sure, especially since you are immediate family and basically saw it coming.

When one of my good friends passed away, I offered to send a message to her facebook friends (I wasn't necessarily friends with them) and I felt like that was "wrong" to do but didn't have any other way to let them know. I started it off by saying, I wish I could contact each of you with a call instead of this way but I have bad news to share about Debbie and didn't know of any other way to let each of you know...

Maybe after some time goes by and you have an opportunity to say something to your sister you should. Just so she knows that it hurt your feelings. Even if it was "hard" for her to make that call, she should have, especially to immediate family. Sorry for your loss.

I am sorry you lost your Grandma and I'm very sorry you were not treated with respect when learning of her death.

I believe a situation like this warrants a phone call or personal visit.

I am sorry your family notified you this way. It was thoughtless. I, too, suggest that at a later time you talk with your sister so you have no lingering hurt.

A phone call is definitely more appropriate than a text in most cases. A sister informing you about a grandma is certainly one where a call would have been better. Perhaps for a more distant relative, especially one that you knew was ill and nearing death, a text might be ok. But not a grandma.

Perhaps she was too upset to talk at the time and wanted to inform you as quickly as possible? I don't know but I do see why you're hurt.

I hate text messages. Yes, they are convenient when meeting up, but to communicate, I prefer the phone.

Depends on the person, but usually I call. However, there have been times when the deceased has been on hospice and we were not the immediate family and a text from a cousin was OK by us.

I'm sorry your sister did not call.

Definitely a phone call. To me a text is up there with putting it on facebook.

I don't know... It's not unexpected so I'm not sure it's so bad. If it was totally out of the blue like a family member died in a car accident, then definitely a call. But I imagine she had her hands full and wanted to let you know as quickly as possible and since the death was expected, she sent a text. Sometimes phones don't have good reception in the hospital. If she's been good about keeping you up to date while she bears the burden of caring for your mom during this and your grandmother, I'd put your feelings aside. Think about how much your sister has been dealing with... Aren't you grateful to her for all the time she has likely spent?

Death warrants a call, please do not text this news.

I think a text is fine because its easier to send out a text to several people at once to get the news out before it hits facebook.

Call since u r immediate family.

Close family phone, post on social media. In my family you called the matriarchs they did the rest.

Ahh read the what happened, there is nothing wrong with a text in that case because it was the quickest way to let you know. So you could prepare. I would have done the same.

I don't get my feelings hurt if someone informs me the "wrong" way.
Informing family members of a death is emotionally taxing, and if it's easier for the person taking on that task to do so by text, then I have no problem with that.

My brother left a message on my answering machine. I don't normally check mine except maybe once a week or so because I have few people leave messages.

My sister called me to ask me if I got my messages. She'd also got a voice mail on her cell. It was turned off at home.

So it could have been worse. Maybe your sister wasn't able to talk through it and just couldn't do it again. I had so many people start calling me and expecting me to go through it again and again and again. It was harder than anything.

I'd be forgiving for this if for only one reason it would be so I didn't harbor horrid feelings toward my sister at such a hard time. Life is short and this is such a small thing. Of course she could have called you. Of course she could be having a hard time. She should have called you and any brothers or sisters you have but she might have no been able to.