"Older" SAHM & 10 Mos. Old Girl Seeking Playgroup in S.Elgin/St.Charles Area :)

Hey there. Trust me that there are plenty of us "older" Moms out there. Aside from age, the fact that so many Moms now work, it is not as easy as it used to be to find playmates. I belong to a few groups that I found through www.meetup.com. Lots of different age ranges, but really nice Moms and their children. Best of luck to you!

P.S. I forgot to mention we also have met people at storytime at the local library and by taking a class at Gymboree.

HI, I'm a new mom and I am kind of feeling the same way. I'm 36, and I feel like wherever I turn, all I am meeting is young 20 somethings. I have befriended some of them, but even being new moms isn't enough to bridge some of the gaps created by age and circumstance. Age does matter sometimes.

I've been taking my daughter to Music Together through our Park District. The moms seem to be of the older variety. In fact, many of them are in their mid-to-late 30s.

BTW, a friend of my mom's 42 year old daughter is 8 months pregnant with TWINS!. There are lots of us 'older' women doing the parent thing, many for the first time.

I'm sorry that I can't help with any suggestions about moms' groups in your area, but I at least wanted to let you know that you are definitely not alone in having a baby at your age. I had my third child last year when I was 39.5, and 2 of the moms in my 3-year-old son's preschool are over 40, which means they had their kids at your age or older.

Since my first two were born when I was just a hair away from turning 35 and 37, it sounds like Shannon A. and I are on nearly the same childbirthing plan - I'm just a few months behind. :)

You didn't mention the age of your little one, but I'm assuming that she is still an infant. If she is old enough for any of your park district's programs, which at her young age would include parents as well, what about those?

However, I agree with Gina H. that you shouldn't stress at your daughter's young age about her socializing with friends. At this young age, kids don't really play together anyway - at best, they play alongside each other. She will get plenty of socialization from just being in your family, and the rest will happen naturally as she crosses paths with other kids from time to time, especially when she is in preschool (assuming that you enroll her). I know that's not what you want to hear though, so I do hope that other moms are able to provide some helpful suggestions about moms' groups.

You aren't alone. I had my first child at 35, the second at 37 and my latest at 40. Most mom's I know with kids the same age as mine are at least 10 years younger than I am. They have different ideas, interests and body shapes. So I know how you feel. I do just as well in that kind of group as I do in a group with mom's my age, but I find mom's my age are more laid back, very practical, and relaxed. They don't have to have the latest styles on, they don't feel the need to put their kids in every activity, they don't worry about their kids being put together every minute of the day.....

At any rate, I find that there are more women having babies at my age in my church than in my neighborhood. I go to a Babtist church so many have a big families and thus are still having kids in their 30's and 40's. Being I was raised a bit differently than you would find in a babtist church, I sometimes feel a little out of place there too.

Then again I've always felt a little different no matter the setting...so I'm use to it.

If I was closer we could contect, but I'm in Huntley and that's a good 20 to 30 minute drive for me. My in-laws live in S Elgin and my church is in Elgin so the drive once a week puts a strain on the finances as far as gas goes.

I wouldn't worry about the age of the other moms if you can find some to associate with. You will find that sometimes you can offer great words of wisdom in settings like that since you have been there and done that already. It can be a good thing.

Step By Step PTA is nonprofit and gets together regularly with field trip in the area. Check the website www.stepbysteppta.com I was 34 when I had my twin boys! :)

M. - You just feel older because you were so young when you had your other children. I had my first a few weeks shy of my 38th b-day and adopted our second when I was 43! Trust me, I know several other moms who had babies in their early 40's. My older son has friends whose moms are the same age as me, and than there is one where I'm almost old enough to be the mom's mother!

I'm also part of Step by Step PTA that Alison talked about and it is a great program.

Good luck with your search.

Check out the Elgin Moms Meetup group (http://moms.meetup.com/1098). We have moms of all ages as well as kids of all ages in the group.

First of all, do not feel at all like you are alone! I belong to a playgroup called Kane County Playgroup where many of the moms have had babies at ages 34-37. We have moms that range in age from upper twenties to upper thirties. I am 38 years old and have a four year old, but the organizer of the playgroup had her second when she was 37.

If there is one thing I have learned from being in this playgroup is that the age of moms just does not matter. My best friend and I met through the group and she just turned 30. I truly feel that if your children are about the same age, you can relate to the moms ~ no matter how old they are.

Anyway, our playgroup does many things in the North Aurora/Geneva/Batavia/St. Charles area. They are a great group of moms and the ages of the children in the group are from 2 months - 6 years. If you are interested in joining, please e-mail me and I can provide you with the info. :-)

What a wonderful blessing for you and your family!

I also would recommend checking out www.meetup.com. I am a member in three different groups and would happily recommend them to you. I am located in South Elgin as well, so the groups in which I am a member are within a close proximity for you. I joined these groups in an effort to not only help my two-year-old daughter grow socially, but also to develop some good, solid friendships of my own. I don't have any close friends with children in the area, so I am definitely lacking in that area.

If you would like to know the specifics of my groups, please do contact me directly. I do not want to post it in a full response to keep some condition of anonymity in this day and age! I would be happy to provide you any relevant information. I attend a number of local events/activities that I would be happy to share with you if you would like as well.

Best wishes and congratulations on your blessings!
R.

My best friend had her 3rd 15 years after her 2nd. The two children helped her with everything. It's a gift and blessing. Don't worry about friends at this point. The baby only needs you and daddy for the 1st 5 years. This child will make friends in school (which she'll be there before you know it) the way time flies. Just enjoy your GIFT M.. Besides, you had 6 years between the first two.

yikes. i'm 37. didn't think i was "older" : (.
oh well.
reality.
ha!