Ok Ladies, I Need Some Advise on "The Talk"

When i was that age my mom had teh talk woth me. BUt it was more like a short conversation that was had over the course of years. I don't think you need to put that much pressure on yourslef. At this age just answer her questions as she has them. i know that i was in 3rd grade when other kids at school started to talk about sex. I remeber on girl saying she found her paretns in there bed room "stuck together". When i asked my mom what she was talking about she just told me that there were having sex which is something that adults do when they love each other very much and i did not need to worry about it for a very long time. At 8 that worked for me. If you want to perpare yourslef get some books from the libary that are age apporate and memorize the answers. I think as long as you are open to talk to her she well come to you when she has questions. Also you can bring it up when you see something on tv or in a magazine that she is interested in.
Good luck and don't stress to much
A.

I don't think there needs to be a specific time for "the talk." If you are fairly open on a daily basis subjects just come up and you give whatever information you feel is appropriate at the time. Some kids are not ready at 8 to hear it. They just don't want to know. When they are ready they often ask. Then you just answer simply and truthfully. Some kids never ask. My oldest son did not want to talk about such things with me.

See my advice on "the talk" in response to one mom's recent question a day or two ago about "What are tampons for?" about how I handled it with my 8 yr. old daughter and 7 yr. old son. (I don't want to rewrite it.)

It's really pretty easy. Don't be nervous. Short and sweet. And her response is likely to be something like, "Yuk!" But if you start to tell her about it and she really doesn't want to hear, you don't need to push it. There's still time.

And by the way, on things like periods, my kids always knew about them because I'm pretty not-private and they'd see the bloody pads or whatever. So they learned early. Periods are just a body function, like peeing or pooping, so I've never thought that piece of info needed to be kept hidden.

Hi Emily,
It looks like you've already gotten sound advice. I'd just like to add that I began "the talk" as an open and ongoing conversation when she was quite young (she's now 12) and that I answer her questions with age appropriate responses. I found the book "It's So Amazing" by Robie H. Harris to be helpful when she was younger. You may want to flip through it yourself (it's recommended for age 7 and up) and see if you feel it's appropriate. When she was younger I only read some parts of the book with her, now she still looks through it on occasion. I've always told her to check with me any time she hears anything at school from other kids, I have had to correct some of the information she's gotten from them. I've also told her that each parent will decide what information is appropriate for their child so that she won't feel the need to "teach" them anything herself. Hope this helps.

Hi Emily

first, there is nothing to be nervous about. in about 2 years, I say 10 as thats when my youngest started 10 and a half years.
I got the talk from an older friend when I was about 10 too and she actually made me excited about having a period! She was told by some wise person that she would be seeing the first signs of being a "woman" by her cycle meaning we were almost growed up..lol I told it a bit differently to my little girl as there was a bit more to tell with things being how they are today, kids with no values ect. But non the less it was a good day when it happend for all the girls in my family.

Good Luck and relax it will all be fine.

C.

ask her what she knows about how girls turn into women, and ask what her friends have told her. She might already know something, or have some ideas or questions that are pretty basic and easy to deal with.

I just remember that I somehow missed the 4th grade sex ed class because my mom forgot to sign some papers (she figured she had covered everything anyway), and then in the 5th grade version of the sex ed class I couldn't believe that women had 3 holes down in the nethers, but I knew all about periods, sex and where babies come from. I just had not known until that moment that there was also a urethra underneath ya! Just goes to show that even the most enthusiastic moms (like mine) can forget something important. No one had ever asked me how many exits women had. Maybe you can start telling her my story, since it's funny, and go from there. That's probably how I'll broach the subject to my own kid.

I am so glad you asked this question because it is something I have been struggling with myself. No one talked to me about anything and when I started my period at twelve 1/2 I thought I was dying. So I have been doing what a few of the other moms have suggested, having conversation as it comes up. Believe it or not with baby # 4 on the way nobody has asked how the baby got there only how the baby gets out.We have chickens so my kids see that it takes a rooster and a hen getting together to make a chick. I think this has helped their understanding some what. I have used it as a chance to talk about procreation but nothing directly about people. Recently her body is starting to change and I am trying to make light and be open with her so she feels good about what her body is doing and that this is an exciting time as she enters a new faze of life. Like when she told me one day that her breasts had been tender I said " oh honey that means your boobies are growing . I remember when mine hurt too. It dose that for along time while they grow." I hugged her as I said this in sort of a congragulations type way.I think if we use our selves and our own experiences (at least the good ones) It comforts them to know their mom had those feelings too. We've been talking about why she is getting more tired. My little girl who was always up and ready at the crack of dawn has now been so tired and comes sleeply out of bed and takes a while to warm up and roll. It's bitter sweet to watch this transformation before my eyes. I feel a since of lose . The little girl to the young women. So I am trying to soak up every minute I have left of this innocent time I have with her. I have vowed that when she asks my to play dolls or horses with her I will. I won't hear that request for much longer. I strongly recommend a book called "BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD". You can find it on amazon. We are reading it together at tea time. I havn't gotten through the whole book but what it mostly is about so far is character. The important traits and values we want our young ladies to have . Some of the challenges they'll come up against to be watchful of. I didn't start reading it with her till age 11. Girls grow up at different rates these days so some might want to read it younger or older. I also didn't read the intro or first couple chapters to her. I don't want to introduceduce idea's she's not ready for. We are having such a special time together reading this over tea and crackers. She prepares the tea. It is just our time to talk about situations and character. We are giving this as a gift to all her girl friends with a tea cup for their birthdays. So I won't keep going . Thanks for asking this question i'll be reading all the advice. Best wishes with this time of "Beautiful girl hood". R.