Odd Son Out of Control

Hi T.,

You are definitely not alone- so know that you share company with other parents who love their children very much... and have had to make the same hard decisions.

I tried the nutrition road- that did not work for us. My son started off with the same type of behavioral concerns as yours- at an early age with no impulse control, inability to sit at the table for two minutes, ran out in front of the school bus at school. It was awful, it seemed like I spent all my time punishing and little time praising my son.

I definitely advocate getting a second opinion- and perhaps with a neurologist and not your primary care physician. Our doctor was able to zero in on the best treatment plan a lot faster than the pediatrician.

It is a hard choice to make, to medicate your child... I still hate it. But... my son's self-esteem is so much better, kids want to play with him now and he enjoys playing with them. AND, best of all, once again- I love being a parent... I love the time I get to spend with my son now. (and I couldn't say that two years ago).

So travel the road with caution, but keep your mind open. The day of turning kids into zombies is over. My son loves playing soccer and is a sharp, smart, quick boy with a great sense of humor.

Hi, I know how frustrating this can be. I have taught 18 years and have seen (with the right dr.)medication do wonders.
Has he had a brain scan? Medicine is not to be taken lightly.
there are always side effects. But would you tell a diabetic not to take his medicine because of the side effects? It is a process of trial and error unfortunately and I understand some parents do not want their kids to be guinea pigs. I have seen different medicines turn monsters into sweet boys. I also had a student that went on the "Finegold" diet. it changed his behavior. Has he had allergy testing? Just some ideas to explore. This constant kind of behavior can reak havic on your health and marraige. Good luck

My 7 yr old daughter has ADHD and OD..So I understand what your going through.The medication may be the best chance.You'll still have your son but it will be much easier to control the behavior issues.It also may take some time finding him the right med but within time you'll notice a huge difference.I know what its like to feel as if youve lost all hope...But there still is some left, By no means will the meds take care of all of it but it will make it much easier to work with him.Theres also several books about how to deal with out of control children.Just keep hope and things will work out..as well as be easier!Best of luck.

T., I am so sorry you guys are having to suffer through this. I really feel for you!

I know you said, "we have also tried changing his diet, limiting things with sugar, dyes etc., to no avail" and "they told me he has asthma" -- both of these things throw up a big red flag and scream undiagnosed ALLERGY.

When you tried to change his diet, did you put him on a total elimination diet (TED)? Or did you limit things, but not remove them completely, from his diet? I ask because it would make a BIG difference: limiting certain foods (just serving smaller amounts) would still mean that your son could react to those foods (and no behavior change), whereas totally eliminating certain foods from his diet would mean your son would have a chance to NOT react (thus a change in his behavior would be noticeable).

I urge you to read, if you haven't already (and if so, I apologize for the redundant suggestion), "Is This Your Child?" by Dr. Doris Rapp, MD. A total elimination diet would be the fastest way to get your son to a baseline (where he's not reacting to something).

If a total elimination diet seems too overwhelming, the big allergens that I would remove to start with (if I were in your situation) would be: 1) corn - and that means *everything* with corn, high fructose corn syrup, corn starch, etc., 2) wheat (also known as a GF or "gluten-free" diet), and 3) cow's milk (including casein, whey, etc.).

My son has a dairy allergy (he's 10 months old), so we've had to go through the whole eliminating dairy bit (anything with butter, cheese, yogurt, sour cream, milk, cream, buttermilk, milk powder, whey, casein, and any and all derivatives!). It's really 2nd nature to us now, though at first it seemed daunting. To help me through that, I started talking a lot with other moms who have been through food allergy issues before since it was relatively new to us. Based on what these moms have shared, if I were in your place, I'd eliminate corn first because more than a few moms say that corn, especially corn syrup, results in their children really just losing control, becoming angry/voilent, not able to control their impulses at all. They say that without corn, their kids are pleasant, wonderful, calm little people. But with corn, it's like they're crazed, angry. So... for what that's worth. It may not be the issue for you - but if your son has been eating corn in all of it's different forms (and corn, cornstarch, high fructose corn syrup are EVERYWHERE, even in things you wouldn't think of), it might be worth investigating further.

Some resources (again, I apologize if you've already seen this stuff) for allergy & corn, dairy, and gluten free eating:
http://www.vishniac.com/ephraim/corn-you.html
http://www.cornallergens.com/new/basic-corn-allergy-steps...
http://www.godairyfree.org/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/GFCFKids/

Best of luck to you - I truly hope that you and your son are able to find some relief, whether that's in the form of medication or major diet/lifestyle changes!

Medicating him may not be the right thing... but you're not going to know until you try. He may only need the meds for a short time, or just to give him enough self-control to learn self control. If you are not happy with the results, talk to his Dr, and tell him you want a change. Maybe your son will change dramatically for the good... and maybe he won't... but you are able to re-evaluate during the entire process. Don't think "I don't want my kids on meds"... think "If they need meds, I want to make sure they are optimal. "
I'm not saying I think he needs them, I don't have near enough information... but just keep your options open, and monitor him closely either way.
Hope it helps!
XOXOXOXO, B.

First God bless you and your family on the loss of your daughter. We lost a daughter 7 minutes after she was born. It is so unnatural for a parent to go before a child. It has certainly changed the way I parent my earthly children.

It sounds like you have done an exhaustive search for a non medicinal help for your son. I agree with the mom who said you won't know untili you try. I have one daughter on medicine for add. The sad thing was when we got the test results back and she scored high for depression. I was reassured it was her lack of success in the class room causing the depression and that with help with her attention she would have more success in the classroom and the depression would self correct. Both her father and I suffer from depression so we are very sensitive to that disorder and don't want any of our children to suffer that.

My husband has also seen first hand the night mare of the wrong medication, we were very apprehensive about putting our daughter on medication. We consulted with what I consider a great pediatrician and the therapist in his office. We haev been back 3 times in about 5 weeks to discuss the medication. The dr and therapist were both willing to talk to us alone without our daughter about any concerns for the medicine. So far it seems to be working very well. We have also incorporated nutritional changes and behaviorial. We belief it is like a 3 legged stool all three must be working for any of them to work.

Seeing our daughter have success in school and feel good about herself has been a blessing. She has a wonderful team of teachers and support educators. She was choosen student of the month for the first month of school. She is a beautiful little girl and we are so glad that she is able to reach her potential.

I am apprehensive about continuing medication when she is older. Because of all the research with adolescences and add medication. We are hoping that medical break through will continue or she will out grow the need for the medicine, but for now we are taking it one day at a time.

Again god bless you and your family,
J.

We medicated our son as a last resort. We tried different nutritional methods and nothing worked as well as the medication. All children are different so either nutritional or medication might work with your son (maybe both). The medication changed his behavior immediately and it's been nice ever since. He is not a zombie or anything like I thought he might after hearing horror stories on tv. He is the pleasant young man I knew he was inside.

Get a second medical opinion if you are unsure.

He is on Concerta and takes it once a day. It's really helped us.

Good luck.

Hi T.-

I have a 5 yr old boy who has recently been diagnosed with ODD/ ADHD. We also tried everything. He started Kindergarten this year and was suspended from the bus for 2 days. He had to be put into a harness on the bus. I was very worried about that but I learned that all Pre-K kids actually have to wear them on the bus (Fed. law) and there are a number of Pre-K kids in the school system so I felt a little better about it. The following week at school I had to go pick him up because he physically assaulted 4 teachers and then once I got him home he hit me several times. The following week he was suspended from school for 2 days. He ended up missing his very first school fieldtrip.

I started telling the doctors when he was 3 that he was extremly hyper and all I was ever told was "he's just being a boy" or "let's wait till school starts. I'm sure he'll settle down." Putting my son on medicine was the very LAST thing that I or my husband wanted to do. We had only been to one appointment with his therapist when he had such a severe melt-down at school that the school called the therapist, who dropped everything to go observe his behavior. After seeing his behavior and how he reacted to everything and everyone around him, she wrote a letter to his family doctor requesting his help. It will be approximately 1 to 3 months before he will ever be seen by one the psychiatrist that see kids his age. In the meantime, we all agreed to finally resort to what had been everyones last resort.

My son is on Straterra and when he started on we started slow (10 mg once a day) then gradually went up(10 mg twice a day) until where he's at now (25 mg once a day.) We are learning that we measure things in hours and not days. We get notes each day from the teachers aide about whether it was a "good" day or not. A "good" day is a few meltdowns. We are noticing that each day is gradually getting better. My son is slowly starting to realize when a meltdown is coming but he hasn't gotten to the point yet to figure out how to avoid it. Once he gets frustrated, for the most part, he's easier to get calmed back down and back to being the smart, fun-loving little boy that he is. We know that the medicine in not going to be a miracle cure but at least it is helping to get him to get to a point of being calmer to where we can all help him deal with his ODD.

If you decide to put him on medicine, have them tell you what options they are considering putting him on. Make them involve you in the process. His doctor told me what the 3 options were for him and we decided together which option to do. He also told me that it wasn't a guarentee that that medicien would work. We may have to try a different one. Luckily for us, the first one seems to be working. We go back for his 1 month check-up of being on the medicine tomorrow.

I completely understand how trying ODD is to deal with. Just remember that eventually things will get better and that if you ever need to talk, I'm here.

Best of luck,
S.

I would try the diet restrictions some more. Keep white bread away from him, it made my son crazy and hyper. I would get a second opinion on the medications, make sure you are told of all the side effects first. He is still very young, so he may need more time to learn self discipline with your help. Be consistent with him, every action receives a re-action, good or bad. Good luck and God Bless.

I would definately say "NO", there is probably some underlying cause to this, for example, most vaccinations cause heavy metals problems in some kids which cause weird behavior, etc...
Take him to a DR who does meridian testing, that can tell you exactly what is going on in your childs body. Usually it is not covered by insurance, but literally it has saved my daughters life. You can go to Dr. Larry Everhart ###-###-#### or find someone else that does Meridian testing. What is great about meridian testing is that it Truly helps your child, not just medicate to cover the problem.

Hi T.,
You have been through so much and now to have to make a decision of whether or not to medicate your son! I can tell you that many disorders can be helped with nutrition. You have done well by trying to change things in your home and in his diet but maybe you still have options. I can defininely tell you that if you have not tried nutrition that you do still have options without meds. Feel free to email me off site if you'd like to explore your options. ____@____.com.
S.

i have a 4yr old that is very like that...he is starting to mellow out a bit...i think it is just a phase...my son has the best days when he can get outside and run alot...my son is very adventurous and wonder why he doesnt have a concussion yet..sometimes he finds it very funny to bite my hands while im pushing the cart at the store...but as for meds...no matter what my family says i am avoiding them...because ive heard a lot about them adversely effecting mental growth and development....so the only advice i can give is ..what i do...if i can avoid giving any attention to the action i do that which often makes it stop...if it is very bad i will tell him i dont want to play with him and put him in his room by himself and well i hold the door shut for about a minute or two....otherwise he will just run out...this usually calms him down a bit...filling his day up with activities does help a lot...especially activities that he can "impress me " with...my son is an attention getter...anykind is fine for him...but i think he is begining to prefer the good kind...i dont know what your situation is but my son has grown a big interest in star wars....especially the star wars legos games...so when he has a good day he gets to play for an hour...and he has gotten really good at the game....he still only falls asleep if you can get him to stop for five minutes...but getting him to stop isnt quite as hard as it used to be....i think we may have those boys from old tv shows...that would leave the house early in the morning and have big adventures allday....i know my son is a very smart boy...i just think he gets bored and needs more to do...my daughter plays school with him and he loves it...sorry to ramble on...but i hope i have been of some help.