Odd Interview Question?

Updated on January 26, 2013
A.J. asks from Eau Claire, WI
16 answers

So I had another job intervew today. I was pretty excited about it and think it went well, but don't know yet. However...in the line of questioning there was one that made me raise my eyebrows. The lady interviewer (there were 2 of them) asked 'What AGE were you when you had your first child?'

I had already mentioned I had kids and ran a daycare, so it wasn't a clever way of asking if I had kids because I had already put it out there. So not sure what she was trying to gauge by this. It's not a skeezy place, it's a well-known bridal shop in my area. I'm 27 but have been mistaken repeatedly (to my chagrin) that I look like I'm in high school...so not sure if she was being nosey and seeing if I'm a teen mom..or trying to guess how old my kids were? (Even tho I had pretty much implied that they were not school age since I am at home with them)

I think I just kind of tilted my head in question then answered truthfully...but don't think they are supposed to legally ask me about my personal life. Just struck me as really odd...and now not even sure I want the job. The rest of the questions were typical though and the lady seemed genuinely nice (but how much can you tell about someone in 20 minutes)

I guess any thoughts on this? Any reason an interviewer would ask this or even care? If it were you, would you still take the job if offered?

ETA:
I too, wish I wouldn't thought of something more clever to answer with, but was a bit stunned and it just kind of slipped out. If I was thinking, I should've just answered 'I was 15' with a straight face and wait for their reactions. Probably wouldn't have got the job but would've made me giggle.

I really don't mind talking about my personal life...just thought it was unprofessional to ask during an interview. After I'm hired...ask whatever you want, I don't care.

I don't 'need' a new job per se, as I do inhome daycare right now...and it would only be a second job, so if it didn't work out, it's not the end of the world...but would really like something different.

As far as me looking young...I absolutely try to dress, look and act older and professional. I HATE being mistaken for a teen mom. I'm sure one day I will enjoy it, but it's a bit annoying right now.

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So What Happened?

Thanks all - Diane B. I think you hit the nail on the head. She was the store owner, of a smaller shop, not an HR professional. Most people still know it's impolite to ask someones age (whether in an interview or not) but maybe she plum doesn't know it's illegal. And if I did get hired I probably would bring it up after I was comfortable there.

Guess I just couldn't tell if she was testing me to see how I would react to a personal question...or just plain curious.

Who knows...I'll find out soon tho!

Virginia - I agree! I know people say 'looking young' is a good thing...but it REALLY can be annoying sometimes. Probably the way I feel about people who complain about being 'too skinny' lol

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

It was inappropriate of her to ask and probably illegal, also. Questions about age, marital status, children, and many other categories are illegal in interviews unless the company can show a relevance to the job. So, I can ask if you are over 21 if the job involves serving alcohol, for example. She was way out of line to ask that question.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Wow! So beyond inappropriate!! I would like to think that I would have tilted my head to the side, smiled slightly and said "why do you ask?" but I probably would have been too floored to pull that off.

I can't imagine why one would ask that. I guess whether or not I would take the job would depend on how good a job it was for me, but a question like that would definitely make me think twice about accepting an offer.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Ridiculous question. No one should ask that question unless it's on a medical intake form at your doctor's office. Whether you were a teen mom or an over-18 mom is irrelevant and none of their business. They MAY have the right to ask if you are over 18 or 21, depending on the job requirements (example - 18 for most but 21 in a liquor store or bartender job). They may have the right to ask if you have a valid driver's license (if errands or deliveries are part of the job) and they can certainly inform you that punctuality is essential (such as having to get there 30 minutes before the store opens to do certain tasks before customers arrive), but they can't ask you if you'll have trouble getting there on school snow days or when kids are sick.

My guess is she's not experienced and doesn't know what's legal and what's not. This is probably a store owner or manager, not a trained HR professional. Their daily activities are selling bridal wear and that involves a lot of getting to know potential customers, what they like, what their plans are, and so on. So perhaps they get a little more personal with customers and then put that attitude into hiring - which they should not.

Then again, you opened it up but it sounds like you did it in connection with your past job experience. So, having run a day care is relevant; having your own children is not relevant unless it explains your absence from the job market for a period of time. But they can't ask you if you were out of the market because you had children - they can ask you why you have a lapse in your employment, at which point you fill in either that you were on unemployment, traveling the world, or incarcerated (!), whatever it is. It's up to you how to fill in that blank to make you look as employable as possible. They can't base their decision to hire or not hire you on whether you "look young" but of course some people do. Same with looking old, looking "ethnic", looking unfashionable - people do it but you have to be able to prove what they did and whether it was discrimination. Tough to do but not impossible.

I'd chalk it up to inexperience. If you are offered and accept the job, you can play things by ear during orientation and the initial paperwork. They do have a right to know your date of birth once they hire you, and how many people you are claiming as dependents for withholding or medical coverage, but not who and how old those people are. If you develop a casual relationship with them, you can decide whether to mention that you were perplexed by the question but you might address it as being the kind of question that can get THEM in trouble. It's a small place so it's hard to work in an antagonistic atmosphere. If that's the only red flag and you receive an offer, I'd let it go. But I'd be watching for other issues especially if they come up during another interview or the job offer meeting.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

I wouldn't think twice about it. Sometimes when you are interviewing, questions like that come out just out of curiosity. Eh, you wouldn't even have a law suit.

Now, that being said, she's nosy. Forget that you were being interviewed - that is some question to ask a person you have known for only 20 minutes. Knowing that she will only ask you more crazy questions once she gets to know you better might be a deal breaker for you.

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V.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have had the same problem throughout my child-raising years. I'm still in the middle of it, but further on than you are. I'm 40 now, with a 17 year old, 15 year old and 9 year old. My son is the oldest, the other two are daughters. It was an odd interview question - did they know your age already? That's my best guess they were trying to figure out how old you are......When I share with someone that I have a 17 year old - I get the "look", they're trying to calculate how old I was when I had my first. I may look like I was 15, but I was actually 23. My 15 year old daughter gets asked a lot if the two of us are sisters....

Laughter is the best way I've found for coping with it. Thanks for posting this. I'm criticized often because I complain about looking "too young"...

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D.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Sounds like she probably knew she couldn't ask how old you were. So she was trying to back date it from other information she had already gathered. And probably was curious since you look so young!

LOL, that reminds me of a scout camping trip i attended a few years ago. A lady commented that her daughter was graduating from college in a few weeks. She was very, very young looking. Most of us there knew her actual age, Well, someone who didn't know piped up (in a very friendly manner, more a compliment to how young she looked) Holy Moly "Jenn"! What, were you 12 when she was born? It was a little awkward for a few minutes after she responded back "Not quite. I was 15."

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It's hard to tell if she was making small talk or if she was digging for any particular information.
I guess you know your appearance/image comes off as young since you are repeatedly mistaken for being in high school.
So you need to work on your professional image - the way you dress, wear your hair, use makeup, etc.
When people see you on the job you want to project a professional business image so your employers and clients feel you are mature and competent in your job function.

http://work.chron.com/good-outfits-wear-high-end-clothes-...

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

Idk if they still do this and I dont remember my last employeer doing this but I know my first pizza job had my drivers licens copied and put on file. also it seems you fill out all the paper work and eventually your date of birth shows up. if they asked how old you were when you had your not school age children-it seems like they are being tricky finding out how old you were. Like say your kids are within 0-4 yrs old and if you were 23 when you had them they would know that your between 23 and 27 yrs old or so. Finding out that you are in your mid twenties. Yes odd question. Yes if I needed a job badley enough I would take that one. If I didnt like it I would start looking while sucking it up and earining a paycheck. Idk how desperate for a job you are but most ppl are!!!

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

My thought on the question is that this is a place where gossip is the norm.

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D..

answers from Miami on

It's a way to use what you already opened up to figure out how old you are. You said that you look very young. So she is wondering how young.

I think that she doesn't want to hire a real "young thing". You are probably the age she wants. I'll be surprised if she doesn't offer you the job, unless she wants a mom with school aged children.

Dawn

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

you don't really say what kind of impression you had other than that question...

i would say, a little odd, but not a deal breaker. i stay out of the gossip mills at work, myself, so heck, maybe that's what it was, a way to fish around for your age. big deal. if it's a hint of things to come - you don't have to participate.

if you got an icky feeling about the whole thing, then look elsewhere. don't waste your time trying to read the secret meaning behind things, you'll never know and it will just make you crazy.

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☆.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I think she's trying to gauge how often you will call out "my kid is sick." or "the babysitter flaked."

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

sorry - but they are NOT allowed to ask ANYTHING about your age. There are a list of questions a potential employer cannot ask you - they are:

Race - They cannot ask you about your race - doesn't matter HOW they word it - NO! It IS illegal....An employer can, however, inquire as to whether an international applicant is legally authorized to work in the United States on a full-time basis.

Sexual preference. Doesn't affect your ability to do the job.

Planning on having babies??? None of their business.

Ever been to rehab? However, an employer CAN inquire into whether an applicant uses illegal drugs.

Been to the hospital lately? Again, None of their business.

do you have any sort of mental illness? Disability questions are off-limits, and a conversation concerning disabilities is illegal, unless prompted by the applicant.

Religion - even if you are applying to a church, they can't ask you this.

have you ever filed a workers' compensation claim?

How old are you? Unless the employer is trying to discern whether you are legally an adult.

That would kinda upset me if they asked that question. I would tell them to refer to my date of birth on my application.

GOOD LUCK!!

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Thats sneaky! Your not supposed to ask about age period. Only are you over the age of 18 or 21 depending on the position.

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K.A.

answers from Dallas on

They are not allowed to ask any question that would reveal age or marital or family status. Inappropriate. But, since you had already talked about your kids, maybe they felt it was okay to go there.

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A.S.

answers from Lakeland on

"I'm not sure this is related to my ability to do the job?"

I don't think I'd want a job that would delve that closely into my personal life. Things like that are apt to come out in normal work conversation, but no, they can't ask you something like that.

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