OCD? Or Something Else? in a 3 Year Old?

My 6 year old has been diagnosed with OCD by his psychiatrist. He FREAKS out of his food breaks...but other foods he has to break up a certain way and if it's not right he has to have more, and yes I've told him he couldnt have more but he literally breaks down. He has to have a divided plate cause if his food touches he will get upset. If his shoes get wet he has to take them off in the car because they can't squeak on the back of my husbands seat. And when he gets out of the car he has to click the seat belt 6 times and yes he counts....

My daughter had a phase like that where her toys had to be just so... now at 4 when she has turn over all her sauasage and/or hot dog pieces so the curved side is up. I finally asked her why and she siad it was more fun to stick the fork in that way!

So ask your son why? See what he says... it could just be that he wants to show he can do it... once you get his answer it might help you with additonal research or tell you that he is just having fun...

Good luck!

The real difference between a child with OCD and one who's just particular is the reaction if things aren't done "right." When our son's OCD became apparent at four, it wasn't just a matter of things being a certain way; it was that they HAD to be that way or he'd have a complete, I-can't-function meltdown for a good half hour or more. It was total devastation. If things weren't just right, the world shut down. If we opened the garage door instead of him, he'd close it and then reopen it. If we didn't let him do this, he'd scream and be in a massive crying meltdown. Severe meltdown.

If you're seeing this, talk to the pediatrician for a referral to a specialist. If you're not seeing the huge reactions, then I wouldn't worry (although you can always bring it up with the doctor for peace of mind).

My 5 year old is was like that when he was younger. DH and I decided we'd purposefully go against his wishes and endure the tantrum about 1/3 of the time in order to begin breaking him of it. We had begun to become slaves to his inflexibility and it was not a livable situation. He's now almost 6 and we've made a lot of headway with the problem. Also, I've learned to recognize when an unsustainable habit or routine is forming. It's much easier to nip it in the bud early.

Normal--my 4 yo does it too ;) once she threw a fit bc we were leaving a restaurant and kept telling her it's time to go & she was not listening to us as we were standing up, gathering our things & finally daddy just picked her up out of her chair & she threw a fit! When we got outside & tried to figure out why she freaked out so badly, she said it was because she wanted to do it all by herself! We weren't ABOUT to go back inside just to let her get back in her chair & get out of it all by herself, although its what she wanted! Happens all the time in different situations & with different things. She's actually getting better about it :)

Awww, no! I wouldn't say OCD. He's trying to control his environment. This is what he is supposed to do. Since he can't really make sense of the world, but knows there is a world to make sense of now, he is trying to reign supreme over that which he can. Can you imagine never being allowed to make your own choices? OR having thoughts that you want to express, but can't quite get out? Or wondering about things that you really want to know about, but just don't quite get yet?

But his cars, his cup? Those are his things. He wants them his way. The door and light? Unless he's doing it over and over and over and can't quite break away from it, he wants the independence there.

You are right, 3 year olds can seem pretty OCS to us, but it is pretty normal for that stage. And I don't know many psyc's that would diagnose a kiddo this age for that exact reason! He's fine and you are doing great momma!

Little ones are quirky. Sounds pretty normal to me. If it is on your mind,
just mention to your pediatrician next visit.

This is just the way some kids are. Sometimes it's their way of feeling secure. Children need a sense routine or rythm, things they can look forward to being the same way every day. And this may be his way of making sure all is secure. Sometimes they just want to do it their way as they're now getting a sense of confidence at this age. At four years he'll not be as sure and will be testing himself and you too more often. Then at five there is a sense of more balance and cheerfulness.

It seems a lot of kids are becoming more this way, as I hear about it a lot and has been discussed a lot. It's like it's in the air.

Just go with it --But here's a tip you may want to hear, don't give him choices. Parents often give young children too many choices. It's okay sometimes, but for the most part it's not, it gives a sense of willy nilly, creates insecure. There will be plenty of time for learning to make choices as he grows and he'll learn this from watching you. Children need parents to make the choices. Instead of saying do you want lunch now, say we're having lunch in a few minutes or lunch time. ---- You may or may not need to think on that as I don't know if his actions have anything to do with this or not.

Sending the best to you and your's.

my son was like this. Everything had to be "just right" from his food, dishes, toys, blankets.. you name it. He would have full blown melt downs and couldn't go past that point until he was "his" fixed. It got to be frustrating at times!

I had him tested for OCD and aspergers. They said he could have a touch of OCD. We kept working with him and he out grew it shortly after his 4th birthday. He still has some moments where it has to be just right but we don't have the melt downs like we did anymore. I think he will always have a touch of it.. but there is nothing wrong with being a perfectionist.. as long as he can except that it doesn't always have to be perfect and is able to except that and move on.

It wont hurt to have him tested, but I would give him some more time and I bet he out grows it :)

If you really think it's OCD, I would look into PANDAS before getting a purely psychiatric diagnosis. PANS/PANDAS is a reaction to viruses and bacteria, and is autoimmune. I thought my daughter was "quirky" at 3, then 4, then 5, but by 7, something was clearly wrong and it was getting worse.

Some of it is definitely age related, but keeping a keen eye on it can prevent it from getting worse too, if it is something more serious.

I'm happy to talk via message as well.

It sounds like he is exercising control over the things that are his or things that he knows how to do. Three year olds love to help/do things for older people, but at the same time they are developing a sense of self and they begin to have pride their ability to do thing for themself. Just encourage him and help in developing his independence from you. Instead of turning off the light and closing the door ask him to do it if he is awake. See if that helps.

he's overtired - and a 3 yr old. Those are your issues. If what he is doing is getting in the way of life then force a change. Cup in certain place an issue? Start having "adventure lunches" where you eat in a different place every day (picnic outside, on the floor of the living room, in your bed, etc.) Cars parked just so, totally fine, but you can train him to undo this quirk. Make a game of it, tell a story to go with why they should today be parked over here, or just be silly as you do it.
LOTS of kids have these quirks, some need a little help to make them not overwhelming. If you don't work on it, you will end up with a much larger issue, if you work on it, and make him NOT allowed to get in those habits, then those habits will disappear.

As far as transitioning out of his nap, unless he's sleeping 14 hours at night, you are risking his health, his ability to learn, his language and as you see, his behavior. In fact even if he IS sleeping that long at night, naps are like oil changes for kids under 6 - you can skip them but eventually the engine (body, brain) will collapse and you will have a total melt down of skills and/or behavior. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen.