2 Almost 3Yo Possible OCD

I completely understand why you're concerned, because some of the things seem "ritualistic"' ie, closing the cupboard 2 times every time and the waiting to get out of the car. It is probably a phase because she doesn't have much control of her environment (as previous poster mentioned) and she's picking her battles. Fortunately, most of the things that keep us up at night eventually pass. Just keep an eye on her and tell the Ped at her 3 year. It can be interesting watching these little people grow up and all of the quirky things they do in the process :)

Sounds like typical toddler behavior to me. My daughter gets much worse if she's tired or hungry, especially tired. I actually use the phrase "toddler OCD" to describe this behavior. We went though a "I must be the one to flush the toilet" phase. Really. She's 3 and a couple-months now and things are getting better.

Well... my son is ADHD... and if your meltdowns are just 5 minutes, count yuorself as very LUCKY. (ADHD screaming tantrums can EASILY last 30, 45 minutes and even longer. Gotta love hyperfocus :P)

I would SUSPECT that if you've been waiting for a whole durn YEAR for her to shut everything, that you might try a month or two of NOT letting her shut anything unless she happens to be there, and NOT letting her shut anything unless she asks nicely / doesn't throw a fit about it. As in... take away the "your side" of it and see just how much of the door shutting is her "being big and helping!" and that's her job/ part of a ritual she's created with you (toddlers do that all the time, create rituals and melt down when something interrupts them).

To ME the stuff you're describing sounds totally normal but

a) I'm not a child psychologist and
b) I do NOT have a neurotypical kid

So just what *I* would do is this: Remove myself from the equation / figure out how much of the problem is me (been there, and done that!). Also... what do you do when she DOES scream? If she gets her way with a tantrum, you've got about 6-12 months of tantrums in front of you on a regular basis, because they work, even if you never give in again. If you don't give in, then it might be time to try a different tack.

Now... Am I saying 'don't get an eval'? Pshaw. Nope. Evals are great. There's no reason NOT to get one. Worst case scenario (nothing's up, just habit + age) your mind is relieved. Best case scenario you catch something early and don't spend a lot of wasted time trying things that work for normal kids but make things worse for special needs kids.

Sounds like normal toddler behavior to me! My son does the same things. He has to be the one to flush the toilet, turn on/off the light, turn on the washing machine, etc. If we don't allow him to do those things or forget and do them ourselves, he gets very upset and will cry until we allow him to do it. We have recently stopped catering to that behavior and it has gotten better.

Toddlers are quirky little creatures. Sometimes you just have to wait it out. They like routine and sometimes get stuck and want things a certain way.

If you are really concerned, talk with your Pediatrician. He/she can probably tell you whether or not you should get an eval.

I think that she may be a bit young for a diagnosis of OCD. Kids that age have control issues, it's part of their normal development and lasts quite a while (I'd say into K). My DD has certainly at times displayed exactly what you describe in I don't think she's OCD, no does she have any other issues (say autism etc...). They can also be REALLY stubborn, so yes, sometimes I get to hear how I didn't let her do whatever it was for an entire week!

As will all things, if you are concerned about your child's development you should ask your pediatrician. If she's turning 3 soon she is due for a check up anyways. You ped can put her behavior in context with her overall development (something that we cannot on a forum like this) and will be able to tell you whether her behavior is in the realm of normal or if you should follow up with a behavioral specialist.

Hard to say. My daughter went through similar things, like having to turn the light on or shut the light off, and would get upset if we beat her to it. So we would have to turn the light back on just so she could shut it off again, but mercifully, it was just a phase and didn't last. It did go on for months though. Personally, as hard as it is, I would not cater to her every whim - my daughter is the type that if you indulge her once, she will expect it every time, so we have to be very firm and consistent on what we will allow and what we won't, very few (if any) exceptions. She loves to push buttons (don't know any kid who doesn't!) and is allowed to push the one elevator button for the floor that we need, but not every button! It also helps if we tell her what to expect, and how we expect her to behave, ahead of time. All kids need to learn that they won't get their way every time and it's not the end of the world. I would start disciplining her for the screaming and tantrums - have her go in time-out in the corner, sit on a spot on the rug, etc. until she calms down. At the same time, you might want to talk to her pediatrician about it and see if an evaluation is in order.

This may be off the beaten path and I pray you don't fall into this category, but I am a child of alcoholism. I'm sure I have a measure of OCD. Now, I don't know about facts, but I did read once that adult children of alcoholics often suffer with this disorder. Unfortunately, we then pass these behaviors down to our children. I am pained when I see my kids suffering in the same way. I sometimes wonder if my and my sons ADHD symptoms are maybe another emotional manifestation of this way of life. Since I couldn't control it then, I try very hard to control things now.

This may totally not apply to you, but maybe someone will relate. I don't blame my parents. I know they did the best they could with what they were given. My father did get sober and we had a recovery program thankfully that offered hope and understanding. I still suffer from the effects though and am trying to heal and aquire tools that I can teach my children so they can relax and enjoy life with its ups and downs.
Good luck with your little critter. I know how disruptive this stuff can be when you just want to get through the day.

It doesn't sound like OCD to me, but more like anxiety about your garage and the fridge. She's having fear reactions, so you need to figure out what's scaring her and address those things. Accommodating the fears shows her that there actually is something to be afraid of.

When she was smaller did someone enforce that she HAD to make sure those doors were closed or else something dire could happen? Did someone make them a safety issue?

There could be something, usually if mama feels something is "off" then mama is usually right! But then again there might be a reason for her behavior that you don't know about.

I remember my daughter had some "quirks" that seemed odd, but she grew out of them. She liked to press buttons so she wanted to press ALL buttons and would get upset if she didn't get a chance to. She wanted to press elevator buttons, the garage door button, doorbells, etc. She would get upset if she didn't get to press the button. If she didn't get to press the button she would be upset until you let her press the button.

There are other kids around your daughter's age that have similar issues that I teach. Some get REALLY upset if something doesn't go their way. One is 3 years old and he HAS to have a certain rug. If he can't sit on THAT rug, he's upset the WHOLE day. Another is 2 and he has to be the one to put the balls in the bin. Also, kids get VERY upset if I change the order of class.

Give her some time. She may just like to shut doors and like things to be a certain way. Many young children get very upset when things don't happen the way they like them. They can't control much in this world, how frustrating for them!

If she doesn't grow out of it in a few years, then you may need to worry.

Hard to say, all behaviors fall into a range on a bell curve, she might just be on the OCD side of the normal range. But since it's bothering you and it's lasted so long it might not hurt to get an evaluation from a pediatric psychiatrist or psychologist....

If it were me, I'd think that if I were concerned and it had lasted this long, I would rather check with a child psychiatrist or child psychologist and have it be within the normal range, than run the risk of waiting and then thinking "What would have happened if we had dealt with it sooner? in case it does turn out to be OCD. I also wonder if/how it manifests itself when she's away from home; for example, at a mother's day out morning program, or at a relative's house, or daycare. I also agree with the posts about sensory integration disorder.

It's perfectly normal and totally related (I think) to their attempt to have control during massive developmental periods.

My daughter threw a bunch of little fits the other day over silly things (we are approaching her 4th bday).

I do think it is perfectly normal and a coping mechanism that is developmental.

Sounds more like she just wants a routine and to control things, which is very typical of that age. My daughter lines things up, put things away a certain way, has to touch a wall before walking or running somewhere, and holds a small ball of play dough when she's nervous, much more OCD than you describe, and I get it because I am too :)

Hi.
I have slight OCD of the brain. That is I get anxious thoughts when my son gets hurt....(Thus I write a great deal to mamapedia with questions to help me deal with my fears :) -- a good thing my cognitive therapist says :))So i have done some research.

What you are describing seems like norma toddler behavior for now. But I think you are a great momma for noting it. I would write down the patterns and revisit it with your doctor each 6 months or so just to see if things are where they should be within a range of 'normalcy'....

something else, some drs rush to judge and give out medication. So if at any point something is prescribed, i would always get a second opinion, especially when it comes to children....HTH. Jiy

I think it could be mild. My daughter does not do the counting thing, but she has to hug and kiss everyong on the stomach if they do not tell her good bye or else she breaks down. She also has to wear a plastic necklace and bracelot. I would schedule an appointment with pediatrician and let her decide.

I have seen this before. Some kids are just like this and they grow out of it. Assuming she's not getting a lot of media and loudness in her environment. She sounds like a very, very sensitive child. And many things can actually be insulting to a child's senses in todays world of fast pace hype and hub-bub, even the "normal" things we hear and see every day. She may have sensory integration issues possibly. Children that have this are highly sensitive and sometimes it's to many things not just one or two things. You may want to do some research on it and see if it seems to fit or not. Also, there is a book about this which is very good called: Raising A Sensory Smart Child: The Definitive Handbook for Healing Your Child with Senory Integration Issues, by Lindsey Biel and Nancy Peske. I'm not saying your child has this, I'm simply suggesting to look into it. I can tell you this, that children need to have a sense of what to expect and when. They need a rythum to their days and for some when this is upset in any way it is deeply shocking to them and they have sense of needing to "control". She is very little and OCD is not a part of the picture. Well, I hope you discover the reasons and find a solution. Sending you and your little one the best.

We went through this and still do with my now 7 year old. I talked with my doctor, a very laid back easy going family doctor who we all go to and love very much. He, a father of four, always steps back and looks at the big picture. His first question was who in your family acts this way. Must have their way or throws a fit. For us that was pretty obvious, my mother, sister and even myself. We like to be in control. The second thing he asked was how disruptive is it to our family to do as she asks? Is it worth the battle? The third thing he said was to make sure and include her in the conversation and let her have the choice. When you know you are about to do something that normally sets her off, tell her, give her the choice to come and help.

For us, the big issues were in the bathroom, the van and the TV. The bathroom had to be cleaned her way. Ok clean it, flylady says even cleaning done wrong is a blessing to your family. We gave her responsiblity of cleaning her bathroom at about 2 1/2. I go behind her when she is distracted and really clean, but she thinks it is still done her way.

In the van, the tv screen had to be up before she could get out of the car. Again we gave her control of turning it off and pushing it up. The extra few seconds were not that big of a deal.

The TV at home was our biggest issue. She could not turn the tv off in the middle of a show. wasnt happening, dont ask, melt down was coming. After fighting with her for what seemed like weeks, a light bulb went off and we started telling her when we were leaving, and that at the end of XYZ the tv was going off so we could get ready to go. If we didnt start the new show, we never missed what was going on. Presto, no more fits leaving the house. Sounds simple, but it took a little planning and many fits before I figured that one out :)

She still has her issues, but the fits are coming fewer and fewer. For us the love and logic system worked wonders, check it out and see if it helps.

Good luck!

No time or patience for a toddler?? That's a bit ridiculous. Why even have a kid? Sounds like a normal toddler to me. Parents are WAY to quick to label their children. My nephew does this all the time. He feels like a big boy closing doors. Doesn't sound like OCD at all. You need to learn to be more patient or you are gonna have a real hard time raising this kid...

Has there been a loss that she could not control? Someone or something dying? A divorce? Someone move away? Usually behavior such as OCD is triggered by a loss. Think back to when this started.... a neighbor move away....grandparent pass away..........her room was deep cleaned and baby toys or crib tossed away?
I would suggest relaxation techniques over medicine to help calm her and see if that helps.
~A.