Nursing All Night Long

Updated on March 11, 2010
J.M. asks from Haskell, NJ
10 answers

Hello. My 9 month old baby will not sleep in her crib at night or for naps. She will only sleep in bed pressed right up against me. This in itself is an issues but the bigger issue right now is that at night she wakes up every hour and will only go back to sleep when I nurse her. (She will not take a pacifier either). I tried letting her just cry it out but after 45 minutes she still doesn't stop. Can anyone help me?

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A.I.

answers from Buffalo on

I had the same problem with my son and reading Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution and Dr. Sears' sleep info (www.askdrsears.com) really helped me a lot. I personally would not CIO and if you read the "No Cry..." book, you will understand why some people are so against it. There's a lot of good information in the book. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

9 months old is a growth-spurt time.. they get hungrier to keep pace with their growing and development.
If a baby is hungry, they will not sleep.
Both my kids, woke at night too... they were hungry.
At least per our Pediatrician, for the 1st year of life, a baby needs to be fed on-demand and this is their primary source of nutrition, not solids and not other liquids.
And, when hitting milestones or other developmental changes/motor skills... these can tweak their sleep too.
Or teething, and/or separation anxiety.
Which for a baby, ALL of these things can occur at the same time. Its a lot for them to cope with too.

All the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful

K.C.

answers from Omaha on

I feel for you! My second child did this same thing. We also tried the cry it out method, but he would get so upset, it would start to sound like he was going to throw up from crying so hard. Have you tried staying in the room with her while she cries it out? You can put a chair next to the crib and comfort her with your words and pat her back without picking her up. Once that starts to work, gradually move your chair farther away from her crib each night until you are out of the room.
If possible, have Dad help out overnight. Maybe if she doesn't see you and smell the milk, she won't be so insistent on nursing.
Good luck to you.

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Try taking a look at the No-Cry Sleep solution. I remember in the book she had the same issue with one of her co-sleeping babies but it has been so long since I read the book that I just can't remember her solution. But she was able to continue to co-sleep (by choice) and not have the baby nurse all night.

My son was like that at times. It took me a good six weeks of doing and saying the same things every night for him to start to understand sleep and what was expected of him. Once we got the naps to fall into place the nighttime got better. You have to teach baby to sleep. You can't just leave them to cry. They don't understand. By using a routine, doing and saying exactly the same things baby begins to learn what to do.

And like SH said, it does sound like one of those growth spurt times.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Dear J., I guess your baby could be hungry but mostly it is a habit and must be causing other problems. Have you thought of weaning her to a bottle for some feedings? Is she eating anything during the day? I also did not want my children to cry but you may want to try to break this habit in the daytime, Rub her back, sing or hum until she goes to sleep in her own bed. She is getting big and you both need your sleep. My best, Grandma Mary

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J.H.

answers from New York on

I know people don't like the Cry It Out method, but that is what we did with my daughter around the same age. I didn't read any books about it - just knew the general guidelines of how to do it (let her cry, don't pick up, pat on back, etc). And you know, it only took 2 or 3 nights of this until she was sleeping through. I remember thinking that I wished I'd done it sooner. She was sleeping in her own crib already, so that gave me an edge over co-sleeping. Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from New York on

My daughter was like that too! She's 2.5 now and sleeping soundly through the night. When I stopped nursing her she learned to fall asleep on her own. I would still lie down next to her and tell her she's a big girl now and milk is for babies. At first she would actually want to lie on TOP of me to sleep but after a few nights she got used to it and just tossed and turned until she fell asleep. I weaned her by age 2 so I nursed her to sleep for a while! I tried fighting it by letting her cry it out, I tried forcing a pacifier on her and I even considered hiring a sleep coach. All my friends who have hired professional sleep coaches still end up with a struggle and I'm fairly convinced that you can try whatever you want but your baby will go to sleep and sleep through the night when she's ready. We can try all the tricks we want and they will go at their own pace...unfortunately, I think fighting it just creates more tears and crying and anxiety about sleeping. My 2 cents is to just go with it - you will sleep better and so will she.

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E.K.

answers from New York on

Hi J.- You can start with making sure that your daughter is still a little bit awake after nursing and before you put her down to sleep. I found this easier to do at night when my husband was home to take the baby from my arms. The hand-off was planned to interrupt that peaceful bliss of slumber until he could lay the baby down, and the crying protests for more nursing just weren't effective on Dad. The basic idea is to teach your daughter that she can fall asleep on her own in her crib without having you as her pacifier. It's sounds like that's what she's used to doing . It's what's natural for her. Think of it this way... you go to sleep in your comfortable bed with your pillow and blankets. You stir occasionally during the night to turnover, moving in and out of sleep cycles. If your blanket and pillow were suddenly gone, you'd wake up instead of just rolling over, because your environment that you had when you fell asleep had changed and you're aware of the change.

The full-on "let 'em cry it out" method is very, very tough and it will backfire on you unless you know that you (and Dad or other caretakers) can hold strong, every night, for days or a week or more. If you cave-in after a long hear-breaking tantrum, then you've taught your daughter to cry harder and louder and longer to get what she wants. I found it easier to try a modified approach to crying it out with Dad putting the baby in the crib while still a little awake (which meant actually waking the baby to then put him/her to sleep in the crib). Then its quick pick ups for comforting with soothing talk, then back down in the crib. Repeat...Repeat... Then, the cries changes from "pick me up" to "don't leave me alone here" so then we worked on laying the baby back down when he/she tried to get up, talked soothingly and lots of back pats. Next step is to move on to leaving the room while the baby is still just a little awake. This gentler method takes longer but it's easier on both parent and baby. Good Luck! Hope you can get some sleep yourself!

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M.F.

answers from Austin on

Check out the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" It gives a few approaches, depending on your personality and that of your child. I went from "I could never let my baby cry" to "letting my baby cry is the right thing." (I also tried No Cry Sleep Solution - I liked the idea, but it didn't work at all.) By 9 months, babies generally don't need to eat at night. They DO need to learn how to sleep. It will be so much easier to deal with this now than later.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I was in your same situation with my daughter (up all night nursing), she is 15 months old now and still wakes once in the night. I really don't have much advice but encouragement that this phase does end... I read and watched the happiest baby on the block, and Dr. Sears sleep book... they were really helpful as I am not a believer in letting children cry themselves to sleep.

good luck and I hope you get some rest soon... i know what you are going through

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