Number of Kids

I have five siblings but they're all about two and a half years apart and then myself at the end with five years between my brother and I. I was fine, I have lots of memories of having lots of siblinngs then lots of them as me being basically an only child. I wouldn't worry about it.

The little one will be fine! Having a child to satisfy a need for another child doesn't seem like a good reason to get pregnant. Maybe you should wait and think about adoption! Then, the little one can be involved (:

Just a thought: Please don't have a child just to provide a playmate for another child you already have. There is zero guarantee the two younger kids would even want to play together; they might have utterly different personalities from the start and never really be playmates or even close personally. For all you know now, your youngest child could end up seeing a new baby as "the one who messed up MY being the baby."

You also could have another child the same gender as the first two -- leaving the third kid really sandwiched between siblings of the other gender.

Why does three years worry you so much? Why so concered about the youngest child being left out? Youngest kids often are the most cuddled, coddled and attended to, not the ones left out. Sure, it's not the siblings who give them the attention --but that's not the siblings' job, either.

I've seen families with two have a third for this reason and it ended up with overwhelmed moms for years until all three kids were finally iin full-day school.

I have three girls, who are now 25, 24, & 19, I have regrets not having a fourth child only because my three girls are so wonderful, they all are best friends. When they were young my oldest two were very close and when my youngest came along my middle child didn't like it at first, because she "was the baby" but now you can't separate them. They plan & do everything they can together. The 24 & 19 yr old are closer because the 25 yr old has always been the "mommy" figure to them...plus my younger two are crazy-fun with a little seriousness and my oldest is very serious with a little playfulness...so if your looking to have more children based on playmates, they will adapt to whatever their environment is. Search your heart & decide on having that fourth child based on how you & your husband would appreciate another wonderful child, then you will be able to make that decision. If I knew then what I know now, I would have had a fourth child! = 0 ) Best of luck to you.

My wife and I had 8 kids and from my experience the closer together the kids are the better they play together, and do things together as they are growing up.

Also, my job put me in contact with a wide variety of middle class men and women. The subject of children often came up. What I learned is four children appears to be the magic number of kids for a family to have. If they had one child, they usually wished they had had three more (makes 4). If they had had two kids, they usually wished they had had 2 more (makes 4). For those that had 5 or more kids they were usually happy with the number of kids they had. The only exception to this was the families tha had a child go on to "institutions of higher learning" like Alcatraz or San Quenton. Then they usually wished they hadn't had any kids.

As far as your kids being friends, it depends on how you raise them. My parents were both only children. They both told me the reason they had two kids was they both hated being only children. But they didn't know how to raise two kids to be friends and so my brother and I grew up to be enemies. I studied to get B's and C's. My brother could sleep through class and get A's. When report cards came out my dad would gripe at me and ask why I couldn't get A's like my brother. When I was invited to go someplace, like a birthday party or to go to the zoo with friends or neighbors, my parents would tell me that I couldn't go unless my brother could go too. This was even if the neighbor only had room for one in their car. I gave up even asking if I could go anywhere without my brother. My dad and brother would tease and tease and tease.

I didn't allow any teasing in my home. I never compared one child with another. We did praise for all my children. We rejoiced in one child's C's and another child's straight A's. It all depended on their abilities. I had one child that had a hard time getting B's. I found out he had a hard time and was getting D's and F's because he wasn't reading the books and wasn't doing the home work.

All my kids are close and are friends. The oldest is 14 years older than the youngest and they are not as close, but they are friends. All my kids with kids delight in havng their kids play with their cousins.

If I was in your position, knowing what I know, I'd have the fourth child. I've always looked upon my children as assets and not liabilities. Now that I have grand children, I can't imagine how much poorer my life would be if I'd only had three kids.

Good luck to you and yours.

My sister and I are 14 months apart and my brother is 4 years younger than I am (3 years younger than my sister). It was fine. I don't think my parents ever considered a fourth. Definitely not as a playmate for my brother.

I have 4 kids. My oldest are 20 and 16 my youngest are 11 and 8. They have all enjoyed playing together. I enjoy my 4. We were blessed with our sons first and our girls second so it seemed as if each had a built in playmate. However many you decided to have enjoy them! They grow up way to fast!

I have 3 children as well and all of them are spaced 3 years apart. None of them fill left out, they play beautifully (most the time) together. I originally didn't want my kids to be so spaced out but after a miscarriage and some fertility issues it just came to be that 3 years apart is what happened. I liked it so much that when we decided to have #3, I did the same age gap.

Do your older two leave the third one out a lot? As they age, that gap seems smaller in my opinion. If the third baby is getting left out a lot I guess I could see why your husband would feel this way. If you are open to a 4th and believe it would better the family's dynamic, I say go for it. I have a girlfriend who has funny quirks about odd numbers so I'm sure if you asked her she'd make you have baby #4:)

Haven't been there. I can tell you there were 6 years between me and my sister and well we aren't nor have we ever been 'close'. But 3 years doesn't sound that bad to be spaced out.

I have 3 kids with the age gap that you described. The oldest 2 are the same gender, but very different and so they do not really hang together. The youngest is opposite gender and she likes to hang with mom. So....I think playing together has a lot to do about same gender (which you cannot control) but also to do with personality (which you also cannot control). -- My suggestion is to just be an open house where friends are always welcome.

I have twin boys who just turned 4 on Monday, and they are very close. Will have a third boy in a few weeks. We have no plans on having a fourth. Three is enough for us, and we are super social people so I have no doubt #3 will have lots of friends too. I second the thought (Michelle) of being the house that all the kids go to. That's one of the reasons we bought this particular house.

All I have to say...I wish I had a sibling that was close to me in age. I always felt that I lost out by not having that special bond.

My sister and I are 6 years apart and are great friends; we spent lots of time together even when she was really little. Now, I have a young son and four older stepkids. The gap between my son and the youngest SD is 7 years, and they are together constantly. He plays well with ALL the big kids, actually, and the bigger ones enjoy spending time with him. I wouldn't worry about your baby being lonely. Deciding should be based on what you and your husband want your family to be. If you think you'll regret not having one more, then do it. If you feel like your family is complete, then think on it some more.

I'd also say that it is harder to manage the kids activities, the more kids you have. Especially when they are close together. Plus, you may need a larger car/van, a larger home, etc. Just things to consider!

I felt the same way. The first 2 are 21 months apart (11 & 9 now) and the baby was 6 years younger than the middle one (now 3 years old). All I can say is I worried the same thing...will the baby be left out, will the baby need a playmate...well, for us, it's a NO! The baby gets played with a lot by the big kids...the baby also grew up fast and "hangs" with the big kids. Some is funny, some is a little sad, but they really get along and it hasn't been a problem. I also met 3 other moms with kids like mine...big kids in school already and a little one. We try to get together once a month or every few months or so and get the little ones together since they will all start kindergarten together, but really, he has a ton of fun and I don't worry about him needing a playmate.

My kids are pretty even steven on age spread. 21 months between the older 18 months between the younger.

I think after three anymore you add would be a piece of cake.

I think your intentions are good...But dont have another just because you want your little one to have a playmate.

You may find that your little one will love spending time with whoever is around. Maybe focus on how you can make little one feel more involved. Have them help with family decision making.

I think anyone can give you i nsight on what adding an additional kiddo will do. But when it comes to whether or not it is right for your family to add another baby, that is a bit harder and more personal.

My little sister was 7 years younger then me and completely unexpected.

My mom felt the same way. She would never be attached to us. 7 years between her and I, and 9 years between her and my big sister.

She is one of my best friends now though.

Good luck with making this choice. I know if I had not had my tubes tied, I would be in the same boat you are...Trying to figure out if another one is do'able all around.

I have two then a 5 year gap, then one. We wanted more so now we have a baby as well. The little one and the baby are crazy about each other. Don't regret it at all. Now that baby is walking there is a bit of fussing (don't touch my stuff!) but at the end of the day there is a great deal more love than fuss.
Our motivation wasn't to provide the third with a playmate but that is how it worked out. And if you ask him about his little sister he will tell you, "My job is to protect her." It is beyond great.

I have a 14 daughter, 13 daughter, and 1 on the way. 13 years apart. I am still debating the same thing. If this does end up being a girl we will probably try again. My 2 oldest are close but they are very excited for the baby and nervous at the same time. My biggest deal with having one more is that i am going to have to get a bigger vehicle. Right now I can only seat 5 and I will need seating for 6.

My sister and I are 3 years apart. She's my best friend. I talk to her every day- sometimes twice a day. We got married within a year of eachother, started our families at the same time and most people assume we're twins. Our youngest sister came along 5 years later. Honestly? I'm nearly 9 years older than she is and I have always been more of a "parent" to her than a "sister". Now that she's an adult that has shifted slightly, but adding a fourth child so she would have a companion was never a discussion. She went everywhere with us and had her own friends to hang out with!