Not Sleeping Through the Night

Updated on May 02, 2009
J.S. asks from San Jose, CA
10 answers

We have twin girls, aged 9 1/2 months. The problem we are going through right now is that they don't sleep through the night. They constantly wake up and want to nurse back to sleep. We don't give in and this has been going on for a few weeks now. We have a solid routine down for them: 7pm double nurse, 745pm solid foods, 830pm bath time followed by reading time of 3-4 baby books and then darkness. Is there something else we should or could be doing? Please respond only if you have experience with multiples. Thank you!

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

J.,

Put them down earlier- start your routine at 6pm double nurse, then 6:30 solid foods, 7pm bath and 7:15 books, 7:45 bedtime. This should help them sleep longer and through the night. It may take a few weeks but they will adjust if you are consistent.

Molly

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P.I.

answers from New York on

Hi J.

I also would reverse the meal plan you are having. If you nurse them at 7pm, they are not hungry for the solid half an hour later and don't eat as much. The solids is what will fill them for the night more than the breast milk. As long as they were exclusively breastfed (without solids) I always nursed at night.
I feed my twins at 6pm a regular dinner (they are 16 month now and eat with us, but at 9 month I would give them vegetables, sweet potatoes...., but just like regular dinner), then we would do a little play and then bath and I double nurse them around 7:30 and then they go to sleep.
They pretty much slept through the night when they reached 13 lbs, which was different for the girl and the boy.

Also try to feed often during the day though they are stuffed at night. I nursed pretty much every 2-3 hours until they were 8-9 month old. Formula fed babies go a lot longer inbetween feedings. I always offered the breast after a solids feedings as well to see if they are still hungry. This gave them all they needed to sleep longer through the night.

Good luck.

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J.A.

answers from Sacramento on

Congrats on your twins. Mine are now 5. My situation was a bit different in yours, as my daughter started sleeping through the night at 4 months. My son did not. My son did not sleep through the night until he was almost 2!! It was a very long 2 years. We did everything!! I tried every method under the sun, including letting him cry it out. Which he did and it was very stressful. They did share a room, which caused some problems. My daughter slept through a lot of his crying and if she did wake we ended up putting her in a pack-n-play in our room (we did not have an extra room at the time).

I would say if they are not already and you have the space, put them in separate rooms. I know it can be hard...I think mom's of twins have a thing about them sleeping in the same room. Mine still do!! Looking back I really think it would of helped if we could of had separate rooms for them. Even if you just do it as a temporary thing. We did that with naps also.

I would also try an earlier bedtime if possible. It may not work into your schedule, but if you can feed and bath earlier and try to have them in bed by 7:00 or 7:30. I think at that age my twins were always in bed by 7:00.

I had a 3rd child who didn't sleep through the night until she was 15 months old. I know it can be very hard and ends up affecting all parts of your life. I tried sleep training with my 3rd daughter as well, and honestly after 1 month of no sleep for me and things not getting much better, I just went back to what worked. For her it was a bottle. I watered it down so eventually it was only water and she was fine with it. She is now 2 and sleeps through most nights and has no dental problems.

So, I wish I had more advice to give you. I think what I am trying to say is that every child is different (one of my twins slept throught the night early, the other did not) even if they are in the exact same environment. What works for one child/family may or may not work for another (I know families where letting them cry worked in just a week or two...it did not for us). We can do many things to help them sleep...routine, environment, etc., but we can't make them sleep. Be assured...they both will sleep through the night at some point. Personally if nursing them back to sleep is what works, I would do it. They are still young. But you need to do what works for you and your family.

Good luck and enjoy this time. It does go by so fast. My first year with my twins is a bit blurry...sleep deprivation will do that.

J.

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T.H.

answers from Redding on

What I've found with nursing babies is that Daddy can get them go fall back to sleep without nursing.
They figure out who they can get what from.
So I've sent my husband in to shhhhh them back and to say you are safe we love you now night night..pat pat..then pat the other.

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M.T.

answers from Bakersfield on

I know you only want to hear from moms with multiples, but I'm hoping you'll consider this as a desire to help in spite of my not having multiples.
I highly recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. A friend recommended this to me and I was willing to try anything due to feeling like I was losing my mind with the whole not sleeping through the night issue. The book is organized well and you can focus on the section for the age of your infant/child. This is filled with great information on infant sleep and suggestions on how to implement strategies to help babies get good sleep habits in place. Since he has studied and researched infants' sleep, he has some enlightening information such as identifying the optimum sleep time windows when infants are more easily able to be directed to sleep. He also says that a consistent bedtime routine is crucial which it sounds like you are doing well. A consistent bedtime routine in conjunction with a bedtime between 6:30 and 7pm is the key point he makes. I know it may sound early, but if you could try to push back your bedtime routine by 10 to 15 minutes every night to begin earlier it would most likely do the trick. Even if you could just get to the point where they are in bed by 8pm or 7:30pm would probably make a difference. Once I implemented the strategies and was consistent, my son began sleeping through the night and when he would awaken, he would put himself back to sleep by talking, mumbling, etc. The only time he doesn't sleep through the night is when he is congested and is coughing. All of this to say, I think you'll find lots of useful suggestions and I hope you are able to find something that works. Also, with the summer months of longer daylight hours, you might also consider some way of making their room darker. I got this advice from someone on this site and it has worked like a charm while sticking to a routine bedtime. I had some double layered dark curtains made to cover the inset vertical blinds and it has helped a great deal with the time changes and brighter evenings etc. All the best to you.

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L.F.

answers from Sacramento on

our twins r now (just turned) 3yo.. @ 5mos old, i started doing a "dream feed" by waking them (they didn't really wake up just drank w/eyes closed) @ 11am then they'd sleep til 6-7am....they'd gone down for sleep @ 7:30pm. gradually we'd move the dreamfeed earlier and earlier by 15min til it was close to 8pm then we dropped it...they were gradually able to adjust to the change, so by 8mos they went fm 7:30am-6:30am w/their last bottle (i stopped w/breastmilk by 3mos, long story) shortly before bed. some say breastmilk doesn't keep them as "full" as formula so breastfed babies eat more often. the dreamfeed game them the milk they needed and me/us the sleep as mom and dad, that we needed so we didn't have to worry about night awakenings! hang in there...twins aren't easy, as u know! BUT i do promise it does get easier w/time!!!!!!! blessings...

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C.T.

answers from Sacramento on

I have to agree with Thea they are going to bed too late. My 9 month old starts going to bed at 7pm and is down at 7.30pm. I breast feed her when we get home from day care at 6pm, solids about 6.20pm then we walk the dog with her in my ergo carrier, the jiggling helps relax her on bath nights we then have a bath a book or 2 max and by 7.20pm she is getting another nurse before being put down.

You might also check out www.askmoxie.com and search 9 month sleep regression.

C.

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L.G.

answers from San Francisco on

My twin girls are now 15 months old. I have a few thoughts / ideas that may or may not apply:

1 -- Is this a recent occurence or have they never slept through the night? If it is recent, perhaps their teeth are coming in. We experienced night disruptions at about 9 months due to teething. It lasted a few weeks.

2 -- I realized that my girls had gotten into the "habit" of waking and wanting to feed -- rather than needing the nourishment. I learned this at about 4.5 months when they woke up crying for their bottle but then one fell back to sleep and the other started playing before I could warm the bottles. From that night on ("never go back" is advice another twin mom gave me), I did not feed them at that time and waited until their next feeding time.

3 -- Are you exclusively breastfeeding? If so, wow! and good for you! It is very difficult to exclusively breastfeed twins; I was not able to do so and had to supplement with formula from the beginning before I completely ran out of breastmilk at the 4 mo. mark. The only downside of breastmilk is that it doesn't stay in the babies' stomach as long. If you have introduced formula, perhaps you should try to give them formula at night. Maybe it will stay with them longer.

4 -- Do they constantly nurse during the day also rather than eat at regular times? Maybe working on an feeding schedule will help establish one at night too. Newborns generally need to eat all day long, but 9 month olds shouldn't need to "graze" so much.

5 -- For what it's worth, my girls have always eaten solids between 5 - 6, had a bottle and bath between 6 - 7, and gone to bed between 7 and 8. All of the sleep books I've read suggest that an earlier bed time (like 630 pm even) can help because keeping baby up too late makes her overtired which can lead to night waking.

In any case, hang in there. We all just muddle through as best we can. It is not easy, but having 2 little girls is just the best! And the first year is the hardest, so you're almost there.

If you have any questions (or need to commiserate ;o) )feel free to shoot me a note.

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi J.,

I know it's crazy, but tired kids don't sleep well and a 9 o'clock bed time is really late for 9 month olds (heck, it's late for 3 year olds).

Would it be possible to move the solids meal to before nursing rather than after (6pm is a pretty common dinner time) then nurse closer to the regular time followed by, bath, books bed and have them down by 7:30? I'm sure it will be a crunch fitting all of that earlier in your families schedule, but they pay off is some (much deserved) adult time in the evening and happier rested kids who sleep all night. :-)

Hope this helps.

T.

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A.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Well, maybe they are hungry and need to nurse. Both of my girls didn't sleep through the night until they were 12 months old, so it seems to me 9 1/2 months is a little young to expect them to sleep through the night without being fed.

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