Because of my hectic work schedule, my son's father gets him most weekends except for the one that I am off both sat and sunday. I see my son during the week which just isn't cutting it. I recently had a huge change in circumstance and have someone dependable and reliable there for myself and my kids. to my understanding, it is written in the custody agreement, that i am able to choose the weekend I have with with my son ( when Im not working). Well, My birthday is coming up and I requested to have that weekend off. I informed his father 3 weeks prior to sad week, that i would be taking him that weekend, which would have been 1 week ago today. I know he is permitted to question, or to refuse a certain weekend, if I am working but he is tell ing me that i won't be abnle to have him because they "already made plans." I don't want to lose time with my son. What do I do?
You catch more bees with honey.. Remind your ex that it is your birthday and you specifically took off of work so can he please rearrange his plans. Otherwise you will have to pick another weekend to celebrate your birthday unless you are willing to create a battle about this that you still may loose. Good luck!
You need to review your Custody Order. I would cite what it says about your weekends and how you can request time and that you did so in a timely manner. I also would cite it if it specifies that you can have time for your birthday with your son.
ugh, that was jerk-ish of him. obviously, i don't know the whole situation, but i would definitely swallow my pride BIG TIME and politely ask again, saying how important it is to you and how he would feel the same way on his birthday. i hope it works out for you mama!
happy birthday! :)
How did you "request" the weekend? If you are in the habit of just "inform[ing] his father...that [you] would be taking him that weekend" then I might see where the father wouldn't necessarily be so accommodating. Maybe you inadvertantly treat it as your RIGHT when you talk to him, and it comes off as a demand.
Otherwise, I think that he should have known that that time surrounds your birthday--maybe a bigger heads up from you, months in advance--and he should have marked the calendar for likely time with you and planned for the child to be with you, even without your formal request. When my SS was younger, I always knew where birthdays and holidays feel on his visitation calendar, and that sometimes affected change for our weekends.
I say ASK HIM, explaining your birthday wishes and that you requested time off for this. Do NOT ask him what their plans are and try to determine if they are important enough to trump your birthday. That is none of your business. Sorry.
He can question or refuse a certain weekend, but you can request the weekend you want. So it kind of sounds like you're at an impasse here. What plans does he say they've made? If it's something that can easily be rescheduled (a playdate at the park, for example), ask him nicely if he would please reschedule so that you could spend your birthday with your child. If it's something that can't be rescheduled (say, tickets to a Sesame Street performance on stage or something), then you might want to consider that your son probably wouldn't be happy being with you, knowing he's missing out on that. Maybe for something like that, you could compromise? Maybe you get him for that weekend, but your ex can take him to the activity? You could even drop him off and pick him up so as to get as much time as possible with him.
If he's still difficult, then I'd think about getting the order to be more specific about the time you get - say, setting a specific weekend or that if you give at least X notice, he can't say no.
I am pretty sure that's hogwash. I would advise getting this response in writing, an email, a handwritten note, whatever and let him know that you will use this to show your lawyer. Plus he is your ex and I would imagine he is so because he sounds like a bit of a bully. My advise is get on your actress face and tell him you won't accept that. Funny how bullies kind of back off when they are put on their own level.
If your custody agreement states that you can pick the weekend, then you can pick the weekend. I would get a copy of the agreement, note that part of it, and remind your ex that this was what was agreed upon.
