Normal Behavior - Quincy,MA

She is a baby. At her age she is only awar of her own feelings. She does not understand that when she touches (or hits) you -- you feel it too. She is way to young to get that concept. She also does not understand verbal language for the most part. When she hits and you say NO she does not understand what you are trying to convey to her. It is better to grab her hand hit lightly more like a firm tap and then say no, sometimes just holding her hand firmly and saying no will work.

She's probably just frustrated because she isn't verbal yet, and she's trying to express herself. The suggestion to teach her sign language may help.

S., she doesn't know how to communicate and she doesn't know why she's frustrated. She just IS.

Don't say no to her at this point. All it will do is get her to say NO NO NO to you in the next 6 months or so. Instead, redirect her everytime. If she hits, remove her from who she is hitting. Hold her hands and stroke them gently and say "Hands are for helping, not hurting" even though she won't understand what that means. You let her "grow" into understanding that phrase.

As she gets older, and if she is still hitting, have her playpen handy and when she does it, pick her up and put her in the playpen and say "We do NOT hit" and then walk away from her. Take away all of your attention. She will cry. That's just fine. She is learning that if she hits, she will miss out on all her fun and be put in the playpen and you won't have anything to do with her. I'd say to start that sometime after she's 13 or 14 months old. It takes TIME for a child to finally come to this understanding. It's all developmental. However, if you don't really handle it, after she's old enough to stop (like when she can talk), she will continue because it will be an ingrained habit by then. So that's why it's important for you to start handling it now.

Never just let her hit, slap, or kick. Always provide a consequence like I am talking about. It's very important.

Good luck!
Dawn

Probably not. Redirect her and encourage her to express herself with other means. For example, teach her baby sign language.

She is a baby only 10 months old.
They do not have full command of language yet, or speaking.
They do not even have fully developed emotions yet.
They don't have cause/effect understanding yet.
They don't have social skills yet.
They don't have the vocabulary knowledge to even say how they are feeling or why.
They do not even have impulse control, developed yet. Not even 3 year olds do.
They do not have, deductive or inductive reasoning developed yet.
They don't know the difference between all the facial expressions yet, in people.
They don't have abstract understanding of feelings.
They don't even play interactively yet, at this age. They only do what is called "parallel play."
They don't even know, the difference between a person crying or laughing. For a baby, the facial expressions & sounds are very similar.
They don't even know rules, about hot/cold, safe/unsafe, danger, mad, sad, sleepy, etc. Nor can they say it.
They don't know the differences in intonation of voice tones nor facial expressions nor can they deduce it or analyze it or compare it.
They don't, know how to convey things succinctly.

Babies at this age, are very rudimentary. And not speaking yet.
And so often times, when a baby is: frustrated, or irked, or tired or over-tired or, over hungry, or over-stimulated... they may tantrum or hit etc, BECAUSE they are trying to "shut out" or stop....what is irking them in the first place.
So, know your baby's cues for tiredness or frustration or when being over stimulated, because then you can put her to nap or redirect her or comfort her, instead.

Of course, she does not need to be evaluated.

Evaluated!? She's just ten months old!

no eval.. this is normal behavior..she is just a baby. she doesnt know.. but please be careful--- constantly telling her no.. will soon turn into her constantly tellying you no..

so save the no.. for really big things. redirect her whenever you can.

No, I think she's normal. Too soon to read much into it.

evaluated???????????????????????????? lol shes 10 months old gotta shoe my husband this

completely normal behavor at this age they dont know any better u gotta redirect them

Babies get frustrated because they are starting to think with words but cannot say them. Hit the library for baby sign language. It can be very helpful. Try to avoid the word no as it doesn't do anything to help the child to understand what they should not do and what they should be doing. Tell her to stop what she is doing and why (not nice, hurts, etc.).

Also get the book "what to expect the first year". It will help you get a handle on what is normal child development wise.

This is so very normal! Teach her to not hit by holding her hands and repeat no hitting. Over and over and over. She does not need to be evaluated.

She hits because she's frustrated or angry. And she'll be more easily frustrated or get angry when she's hungry and/or tired. Be sure to monitor her and feed her or nap her before she's overly tired.

You can also stop some of this by stepping away from her when you know she's going to hit. If you're not within reach she won't be able to hit you.

And you can prevent a lot of frustration/anger by redirecting her instead of saying no. "You can't play with the TV controls. Lets go see what your toy phone is doing." sort of response. Be sure that she has enough toy like things to keep her busy so that you can change her direction of play.

Later: Whoops! I just realized she's only 10 mos. old. I was thinking of a toddler.

It could be that she's just frustrated with lack of verbal skills, or there's stress in your home and she's responding to that. You may not even realize there's stress. Is anyone arguing in the home?Is there a lot of negativity? Is someone talking to your daughter in an angry matter? Is she being ignored more often that you realize? Some or all of you too busy to play with her? This is not accusatory because I don't know you. Just questions to think about.

My 9 month old daughter does the same thing. She loves hitting her brother on the head. It's normal she's a baby.

I don't think you can communicate values to a 10 month old. I think stopping the behavior and redirecting are usually recommended for kids 2 and under. Shaking your head may be more than she can understand. I also think it's very young to worry about an evaluation if you are not seeing other signs of serious developmental issues. She doesn't have a vocabulary yet so the only way to express herself is through crying or through physical action.

If she bites or slaps, take her away from the problem, or have the other sibling move away. She will learn that hitting means "no more attention" and "no more sibling". You can say "no hitting" but don't expect that to do the trick all by itself. "Redirecting" doesn't mean to give her a new toy or anything that sounds like a reward. It means to focus her attention on something else.

Kids do this sort of thing because they can, not because they have necessarily witnessed any hitting or biting. I'd double check the other kids to be sure they aren't doing anything behind your back and to be sure they aren't watching things on the TV that display this behavior, but otherwise I'd say it's normal.

We had the same values in our house, and my kid was a head-butt kind of toddler. If he head-butted me, I removed him from whatever we were doing. If we were outside, we went in. If we were in a restaurant, we went home. It's a pain because it means you don't get to do the thing you needed to accomplish, but it gets the message across. Just choose your method and then be incredibly consistent. Kids get the message.

maybe start teaching her sign language, just basic baby signs. It will help her to communicate. Sounds like you have an intelligent and strong willed child on your hands who wants to communicate. A friend of mine used signs and words from birth and kids can communicate via signs before they can speak. Simple things like pulling her own shirt at chest level when she wants to nurse, and holding up both forefingers at her ears for the word cat, etc.

HOOO WEEE. Meet my third. I started disciplining her at age 9 months rather than 18 months like older two sibs....She's great now at three, but she's had her SHARE of consequences for violent outbursts. She is SPIRITED. Biter, hitter, you NAME it. The good news is that she also completed major discipline before the other two had even started (she had it all under wraps before age 2 with consistent FIRM consequences-even though she's still spirited, but excellent self-control), so....get the book Back to Basics Discipline. Never ignore or coddle this with "gentle touch" talking etc unless you want it to last a loooooooong time. The younger you start, the quicker it sticks, the more bad habits you prevent. Saying "no" and shaking heads is totally meaningless at this age..you've got to give an immediate consequence for aggression.

*** OH and evaluated? Nope. She's ten months old. And of COURSE she's never witnessed this. Mine didn't either. Kids just do this. Some much more so than others. Discipline will stop it in a hot minute. They only care what happens to THEM for an action and will react to a warning after that IF the consequence is uncomfortable enough. If absolutely consistent discipline hasn't stopped it by age 5 THEN, maybe she needs evaluation.