Non-C Section Tubal Ligation

I qualify...two kids both vaginal births. I had a tubal ligation when my youngest was one. It was not at all painful, though I did get a prescription for pain reliever which I never touched because there was no need. The worst part of it for me was the over night in the hospital. Hospitals are a drag! I have not regretted it and I also know that my husband was scared to death of the idea of a vasectomy. I would say it is absolutely worth it if it improves the sex life!

My friend's husband was really not wanting to get a vasectomy.... she told him that she would be his really good friend but nothing more until it happened. He was highly motivated to get it done! Just food for thought

Dear C.,
Do you have any friends whose husbands have had vascectomies? Jeez, I could hook him up with about 30 men to talk to. Trust me, none of their "manly-ness" fell off or ceased to function in any way.
There are men who are "wimps" as you say. But, how typical. A few minutes between the sheets on the right day and a woman endures 9 months of pregnancy then 30 hours of labor and has a kid chomping on her boobies for 2 years. But 20 minutes under a drape in the doctor's office is completely out of the question for the man.
My advice would be to get as much information about both procedures as possible and talk to him about each one. If he wants a sex life as badly as you do, there are some important things for him to consider. Also, if you know any men that have done it and can tell him it's no big deal, that would be great. Sure, they were nervous at first, but once it's done, it's almost like a badge of courage or something. They didn't miss "days" of work. I've been told, personally, by my male friends, that having a wound stitched up was more unfomfortable. Also, they didn't want to put their wives through having to be admitted to the hospital.
Think of it this way, if he is worried about missing work, what about when you are in the hospital and then he has to take care of the kids while you're gone and then home recovering.
Tubal ligation is serious business. I guess it depends on the woman, but you do have to be admitted to the hospital and put under general anesthesia. When you can be released and how long it takes to recover depends on how easy or difficult the procedure is to do. There could be scarring or adhesions from previous pelvic infections, etc.
I'm sure you will hear stories on both sides, either not so bad or really horrible.
I just know that there is a much higher risk of complications for women than there is for men. I ended up in the hospital for 4 days afterwards.
If your husband wants a sex life back as much as you do, he should re-think this and know that by the time he gets up the nerve, it could be over and done with and back to making whoopie!

My husband is also in flooring installation, and it took him three years to follow thru on getting a vasectomy because he was afraid...of pain, of the inconvenience, of future problems etc etc. I caused somewhat of a rift between us, which he apologized for, but still wouldn't do it. And I am 48, VERY fertile, and it would have not been good for me to be pregnant. Amazingly he finally did it....it was no problem, and I think he missed one day of work. Tell your husband I said it did wonders for us because it made me feel his love because he was willing to do it.If he wants to he should call my husband Scott and ask him about working after it.###-###-####.
P.

I know you didn't ask about this but have you thought about getting an IUD. It is a non-invasive procedure that takes about 5 minutes in your doctors office. The side effects are generally minor. And depending on which one you get you can keep it in for 5-10 years!!

I have had two (one after each of my two children were born) with no regrets. I'd be happy to share more about my experiances with you if you're interested. Shoot me a message and we can talk.

M

C.

There is a fairly new procedure, which is much less invasive that is equally as permanent as the tubal but much less surgical recovery and risk. It is called Essure. Do some research on the web by googling essure procedure. It is an outpatient, in office, 15 minute procedure. They insert these little plastic coils, into your fallopian tubes and over time, your body builds scar tissue around them. making it a permanent procedure with very little risk.
you would have to use some form of birth control up to 6 months, depending on how long it takes your body to build up enough scar tissue to stop the flow from the fallopian tubes but i hear wondrous things about this. and i work in the medical field.
Good luck.
R.

Hi C.,

After getting pregnant with my 3rd child,unexpectantly while on birth control, I had a tubal ligation right after giving birth (vaginal all three). The hospital left the epidural in me and wheeled me straight to surgery. I had the surgery all under a local (which was a little challenging at time), but was not in considerable pain following the procedure. Part of my pain was associated with child birth; however I don't remember it being extreme for more than a day.

Although I really did not want to have the surgery and preferred my husband have the visectomy, he refused, even after hearing how many of his friends and family members had one. It supposedly is not painful and a fairly minimal procedure for men.

Good luck. I am so glad I don't have to worry anymore - 3 is a handful although I wouldn't change it for the world.

I had complications, so recovery took almost a year for me. During my surgery, the doctor (who at the time has lawsuits against her I didn't know about) knicked my bladder, which wound up tearing more. Please, please, please ... make sure you are urinating normally within a day. If not, get checked right away. The staff at my doc didn't seem to care as my torso filled with urine. I looked 5 months pregnant by the time I went to the emergency room. If I had waited just a few hours longer, I wouldn't be here writing this.

I'm NOT telling you this to talk you out of the surgery - just to be VERY aware of your recovery so you don't go through what I did.

The ligation worked perfectly and 10+ years later they are closed tightly (I have it checked every few years). If it weren't for an inattentive doctor and staff, and an uninformed, coherent patient (me), my recovery would have been fine.

Good luck!

I had 2 C/S, then a vaginal delivery for my third child. I had a tubal ligation about 16 hours after delivering my daughter. I asked for epidural anesthesia, had my tubes tied, took my daughter home the next day, and drove the boys to preschool the next morning. I was a little sore, but no big deal at all. The best thing I ever did!

Hi C.!
I had the belly button tubal ligation done about 6 years ago. My little one was 6 weeks old when I had it done. See, I had a c-section 15 years prior to the last vaginal delivery (so, I'm considered a VBAC) However- back to the procedure. It is less invasive, not painful at all. I had a little soreness in my belly button where they went in, but really? Very little pain at all. My recovery time was about a 2-3 weeks (what I remember of it)and my only memory of inconvenience was the fact I had started my period that day. I was in the hospital at 8 am and home by noon. I was even nursing at the time and I had to pump my milk for about 6 hours.
They say that you can have shoulder pain from the air they pump into your body- but I didn't? I am glad I did it, and just check around. I'm sure someone else will have a story to share with you. Being technology does get better with time, you should have no problems with the procedure.
Good luck!
J. A.

C., I did a tubal ligation many years after having had my two boys via natural delivery. My concern was mostly that I was over weight, but it all went great. Had the procedure Friday morning, stayed down the rest of the day and rested up the weekend then back to work on Monday. I did this in my mid-40ies! You should bounce back fine. Take care - J.

My dr and I discussed essure as the method I am going to schedule soon. He said there is a great website essure.com. I haven't looked at it though.

Your husband is out of arguments. Vasectimies are out-patient procedures, meaning he goes to the dr.s office, there's a little snip and some cauterizing maybe, and he goes back to work. A little soreness. Tubals are in-patient, much more risky, and way more expensive. Good luck.

C.:
My late husband had it done after our daughter was born, as we did not want anymore children. We had a son and a daughter. He did not want me to have to go through the pain of having a tubal ligation or anything else. He had it done on his days off, which was three days. But I can tell you it was great because it help are sex drive, as we did not have to worry about me having another child. But you have to remember some men can not even take a little pain. My son-in-law won't have it done either because of the little pain he might have to have. Good Luck on what you decide to have done.

I had a tubal right after my third child. While I could have pushed for hubby to get vasectomy and he would have done it. For me, the issue was .. *I* did NOT want to be pregnant again ... EVER. Each pregnancy got worse as far as sickness goes (I LOST 22 lbs in the first 2 months with my last one, and I wasn't even late yet when that started) and I was 31 when my last one was born. I was DONE with it.

I had no complications and LOVE the fact I never have to worry about morning sickness (which in my case was any position but lying on my back sickness) ever again.

And while to a certain extent I agree with having him hold up his end of the bargain and it being less invasive for him ... you might want to consider if you ever want to get pregnant again. In the event something should happen ... and you found yourself dating or remarried (not saying anything would ... but just a what if) ... do you want to be pregnant again or are you completely done with doing the pregnancy and child birth thing. If you're done (like I was) then a tubal is probably the way to go. If you're not sure you're completely done ... then have him get a vasectomy.

Just some things to consider. Either way though, not having to worry about birth control sure does open up the sex life to some fun spontenaity.

I do not have an answer, but I do relate. I am considering the same thing, as I am desperately afraid to become pregnant again after having many serious complications during pregnancy, and this has led to problems with our sex life. So I am interested in finding out what people have to say.

Make your husband do this. My cousin's husband had it done and it was quick and painless. Recovery was as quick or as slow as you wanted. My husband is going to have it done next year, once we decide, for sure, we are not having any more kids. Tell him to step up and it is a much longer and harder recovery for you. With 3 kids, it makes sense for mom to stay taking care of them and dad being down for a few days. Good luck

Hello C.,
I had different circumstances why I got mine done. I waited 8 months after my youngest was born. They won't be any scars, they make a small incision not visible to the naked eye, & make another incision below the naval, (they told me that), & they made the incision inside my naval. Feeling groggy & sore around the naval is the only pain I felt. I wondered why I had a band aid on my naval, the scar blends in with my umbilical cord scar. I was sore, & I knew the meds wouldn't work. I preferred advil over tynenol. I had the pain for 3 days only. I was upset because the doc who did the procedure lied to me.
I was fine,the good thing about it, no more cramping before cycles. It takes 30 days to decide if that's what you want. A fellow parent told me her husband had the procedure done, he's doing ok. Good luck.

I got "fixed" after I delivered my last child, so then I had stitches from the tearing AND stitches at the bellybutton. None of them healed very well.
My smile scar is actually a frown.
All I can tell you is it IS a big deal. It changes your body and its rhythms. You will be snipping two of the four blood supplies to the ovaries. So they will then recieve 50% of the blood they should get. Do you see how this could affect your body and its cycles?
As far as invasive/pain, it is not bad. But as far as the rest, expect changes. It is way less difficult for the man in all ways. Read every thing they give you and FULLY understand the procedure. Would you want half normal blood supply to, say, your heart or any other organs? Because even if you wont be using those lil ovaries to make babies, you will need them to menstruate , have a sex drive, and more....they work with all the rest of the body like a big clock. Just don't expect your "clock" to hum the same as always. You are right about it is excuses from yr hubby, they think it un mans them.
here's another fun fact: you mentruate til all yr eggs are gone, no matter how hard it is on yr body to crank out another cycle. And it can be difficult. I have always felt getting fixed hastened me into perimenopause and all the joy it brings (ha) I am 48.
Men tho, just make the ole spermies as they need them.

7 hours after I delivered my son, with an epidural. I went the OR and my OBGYN tie my tubes. Because they removed my epidural, they gave me a block. WOW talk about wierd. The only part that could move was my head. She made an incision at my belly button about an inch wide and she just reached in there and grabbed the tubes and did what she needed to do. That quick after delivery means that your uterus and stuff are still sitting really high and they are easy to get to.

However since this is a few years, it may be more invasive, but I can imagine it being more like a laproscopic surgery. Either way I have had both, and yes its uncomfortable. (i had my gall bladder out lapro style). But within a couple of days you will feel fine. Of course there is a scar and incisions you will have to care for and there will be no lifting for a while. but I think its worth it.

I had a tubal ligation right after my second vaginal birth which made it easier because my tubes were already near my belly button, but the procedure, I believe is pretty much the same later. The only problems I had were related to the anesthesia, but the surgery itself went fine. It was microscopic and I recovered quickly. I loved having the total freedom to have sex whenever I wanted without any concern for getting pregnant. It is FABULOUS!!! I didn't feel any less of a woman like some women I've read about. I felt more uninhibited and sexy. (I say this all past tense because I have had a tubal reversal, something you may want to consider.)

Now, that said, a vasectomy is a far less invasive, outpatient procedure and if I were you I would have a serious talk with my hubby about following through with his promise.

Hi C.
I have 4 child ages almost 13 this month boy 11year old boy
9 year old girl and a 7 year old Girl
I had my tubes tied after my youngest and yes I did deliver naturally no problem my doc made an incision little scare no big deal in fact your in and out the same day but you do have to plan it with your doctor Good Luck and Congrats
D.
Mother of 4

Hi C.,

My husband had the vasectomy done. Before deciding that he would be the one, we went to a class at Kaiser. It was at that class that we saw that the recovery time for a tubal ligation could be up to 4 to 6 weeks while the recovery time for a vasectomy is 1-2 days!! That difference alone was the deciding factor. In addition, my husband didn't even have to be put to sleep. It was an in office visit. He was scheduled on a Friday, and I had the kids stay with their grandparents over the weekend and he was back at work on Monday. Perhaps you should give it another shot with your husband. You could call and make an appointment for your husband on a Friday. That way he won't miss too many days. He will have to limit heavy lifting for the first few days.

Push him to go again before you make your own appointment.

God bless

My DH had a vasectomy, it was literally a 20 minute procedure, and walked out of there without any problems, he did have to take some time off work, it all depends on the type of job he has, on how long he will need to be off. My DH is a police officer, so it was best that he was off about 2 weeks. A big funny though, he just HAD to hang the Christmas lights on the outside of the house a few days after the surgery. Because he was climbing in and out of the upstairs windows, he swelled up like an elephant! LOL. There he was sitting on the couch with a huge bag of ice on his crotch!

I had a hysterectomy (just uterus) removed about7 years ago. I had it done for medical reasons though. Anyway, it was done vaginally and I spent 3 nights in the hospital, about 2 weeks total recovery, mainly no lifting and just resting. I still have my ovaries, but of course no periods which is nice.

I had a tubal ligation when i was 35 yrs old after a 4th pregnancy,that one ended up to be a miscarriage.my 3 kids are now 14-26 yrs old.so far,i have not seen any side effects,still enjoying our sexual life together after being married for 27 yrs now.
My advice is of course like any other surgeries,no matter how minor it is,just commit it to god bec. Anything can go wrong anytime.pray also for the medical team who will be doing the operation.
God bless you.be praying for you C..let us know,ok.

Congrats! I've been struggling with this, too. My kids aren't old enough yet that the dr's will advise it for me, but I don't think I'll get him to go in for the minor snipsnip... and of course, even remembering the condoms are my responsiblity! :P Let us know what you find out!!!

Hi C.,

If it were not for us women taking care of things.....I had a tubal three months after a vaginal delivery. It was done as an outpatient surgery and recovery time was just a couple of days. The incision sites are so small, one at the naval and one at the pubic hair line, that years later there are no scars. I have not had any issues with mine. Vasectomies can fail, and I feel safer knowing I took care of myself.

The day of the surgery I wanted to sleep most of the day - I've always had a tough time with any anesthia - even dental so get a sitter to help with the kids the day of your surgery. You'll be fine the next day - but heck, I'd milk it and take a few days off!

J.

C. -
My husband and I did not choose permanent sterilization, instead we used over the counter vaginal contraceptive and it works!!! unless you don't use it and our sex life has been great!!! Contraceptrol has prefilled vaginal syringes and they have a 93% effectiveness rate when used... I did not want surgery and my hubby would not consider the surgery.

Married for 28 years with 3 children ages 27, 25 and 19 years... Now 51 years old and not needing anything...

A.