No Seriously Though. How Do You Ladies with Jobs Handle This?

Well...
A) I think most of us that work full time (8-5ish), also invest in before and after school care for the kids. My kids are at before care at 7am so I can get to the office, and I can pick them up as late as 6.

B) with stuff like cancellations and late arrivals...everybody I know just rolls with it, work included. I'm in corporate America, and most companies I know understand that stuff like that happens and they need to be flexible with their people working. Keep in mind that most bosses have the exact same problem as their employees. Might be different for small companies, but in my universe, it's just not that big of a deal. And worst case, yes, you do take the day off, or take it unpaid if you're out of sick time. But mostly, we don't have to use it.

So I dare say that the type and method of work you're doing causes you more of a disservice in this kind of situation.

I wonder myself how being a single parent I was able to manage working a full time job, part time jobs and children, but I did!!!! I am lucky that I had a flex time job, an understanding boss, and that my part time jobs were working from home, but dealing with children's schedule was hard. I had to use latch-key for before and after school care, and on the days they had no school they came to work with me and my boss would put them to work (dusting and cleaning for 5 bucks a day!) Sick days I used my own sick days and stayed home with them. Appointments or school activities I used my vacation time.

You have to be very organized, and have plans A, B and C!

Money was the biggest issue as I did not receive any physical or financial support.

Remember that children learn by parents examples, and you are teaching them that life gets hard and is not simple.

My children are now grown and thriving adults. Neither want children...we will see

You arrange for back up child care and sick child care. That's just what you do. It can still be a challenge.

F. B.

You said "Working moms! I salute you!"

But to you I would say..... single moms, I salute YOU!

Not going to lie, it was hard!!! I almost lost my job after our son was born because I was missing too much work. He was sick all the time. He was born in Sept and by Feb I was out of everything. My husband traveled all the time and we had no family. The only reason I didn't was because I was great employee and my attendance was outstanding before the birth. My husband had NO flexibility in his job. So, it was all on me. =(

I was juggling two kids, a house, dog, full time work and a traveling husband.

My mom asked my once how I did it and I said "I don't have a choice". That is the truth. There was no choice. I had to pick up my kids at day care once and bring them back to the office with me so I could finish up. It was almost 6:00 p.m. and I wasn't done. Yeah, you do what you have to do. My house wasn't the cleanest on the block but my thought was clean clothes, good food and love. The dust bunnies would have to wait.

I'm still waiting for the nervous breakdown I'm so entitled to!

Fortunately my kids got illnesses out of the way in daycare. They have awesome immunities now and rarely get sick. My child in 3rd grade has never missed a day of school for illness.

For delays and cancellations - this is where it takes a village to raise kids. We have good friends in our neighborhood. They both work too, so we take turns. With 4 parents in the rotation, I only have to take time off for every 4th delay/cancellation. The parent staying home watches all the kids. We just recently started talking to another parent so hopefully soon it will be every 5th time. We don't have family here, so this informal rotation has been a lifesaver.

I work full time and my husband does also. Support system ! Awesome grandparents and extended family that helps out a ton. When my kids were younger I did end up using all my vacation, personal, and sick time for kid stuff. But now that mine are older (15 & 10) they stay home by themselves during days off and don't tend to get sick as often. It's rough the first few years but it does get easier !

This is why we still have a FT nanny even though my kids are far into elementary. People always ask why we do but there's no way I could stay home every time my kids get sick nevermind all the holidays etc. I'm not allowed to work from home. But people we know are mostly two parent households and usually the mom can work from home when needed. The dad once in a while too. Or they have family nearby. Or several are nurses and working kind of opposite shifts or part time. And some have au pairs. But it's stressful for them!!

I hear ya!
I previously worked from home and had a flexible schedule. While it was hard to work from home with kids being off from school, it was do-able, and I could go pick sick kids up from school and whatnot.

I have since changed jobs and it is nowhere as flexible. My husband is very lucky as he has the option to work from home if needed, has a lot of vacation days racked up, and has more lenient bosses that are totally ok with him taking off for orthodontist appts, sick kids, etc. Even so, it is not fair for him to do it every time.

It seems like, with 3 kids, there is at least 4 times a month that a parent is needed during normal work hours, and sometimes it is more than that. You figure monthly orthodontist appointments for 2 kids, 2 dental appointments per person each year (more if they find a cavity), yearly doctor checkups, parent teacher conferences, sick kids, sick parents, school programs, school closures...it just adds up.

I have had Grandma help a few times. I have also gone in late and then stayed late to fit in appts or gone on lunch break. Also my husband's work has just built a health clinic at the site so employees don't have to leave work to go to the doctor. I think that employers need to be more flexible and understanding, though. It is very difficult to balance home and work!

i was lucky enough to have a fair bit of flexibility with my job (at least the one i had during the day) so i could leap about and cope, although it was difficult and stressful. but my husband's job is a long, long commute with very little flexibility, so it had to be me.
and that meant networking as well as dropping work and having to make it up. no family in the area, but some neighbors and friends with kids in the same classes or activities that i could impose upon in an emergency, and of course i reciprocated.
honestly, looking back i'm not really quite sure HOW we did it.
:) khairete
S.

I'm not sure how I would do it if I were in your shoes. I have my husband who's been at his job for 15 years. He and I can both take sick days, so we take turns. Our children go to a daycare center after school, and that daycare center remains open on days the school is closed, including snow and "inclement weather" days. That's one of the advantages of a daycare center over a YMCA afterschool program (an excellent program, but there are pros and cons of both). Also, my parents and my brother both live nearby.

As far as I know, none of the schools in our area have "2 hour delays." Is that something they do on snowy days? Or is it something you know about ahead of time? Most of the schools chose to do away with the delayed starts altogether because it is so hard on working parents. A nearby school district decided to have 30 minute early dismissal once a week for teacher meetings (rather than half days once a month). They considered doing a 30 minute delayed start one day a week but chose to do the early dismissal because of working parents. Most working parents can handle the regular start time. If they have aftercare, an extra 30 minutes is usually not a problem.

It is a juggling act, and I do know how fortunate I am to have my partner (my husband) and family nearby. I think single parents who don't have family form a network with friends and help each other out.

Personally, I couldn't wait for my kids to start school so that I could go back to work (ended going back sooner and putting our youngest in daycare), but I've talked to many moms in my kids school who say it's just not worth it. They say they tried and ended up taking too many days off, so they decided to be a SAHM.

It's not always easy, but I really like my job and I really wasn't happy as a SAHM. I could easily write a post saluting SAHM's and asking them how they do it. I do it each summer, and my the beginning of July I'm ready to go back to work :-) I love my kids!!! But I do struggle when it's just the 3 of us all day, every day.

I have the flexibility to work from home when I need to. However...I hired a new employee in December and had to be in the office most days to train him and wouldn't you know, two of my kids got concussions and were in and out of school for 2 weeks. Luckily, one of them was my 16-year-old so I could leave them both home together. There were a few days when I had to dismiss my younger one early but had to be in the office, so I called on "my village" and a friend was able to pick him up.

Before I had this level of flexibility, I had a big network of family and paid providers at the ready. My mom was my go-to choice, but because she was still working part-time when my kids were really young and lives 30 minutes away, she usually wasn't available in a pinch. Enter the day care center (who could often take my kids an extra day, they were enrolled for 3 but often did more), the after-school care program (great for snow days, vacations and holidays), my paid sitters, and my SAHM friends.

Even now, I call on "my village" regularly and people respond. On a dangerously cold day last week, a friend gave my younger boys a ride home from school so that they didn't have to walk. That training session in a couple of weeks that starts before my kids are even in school? They'll go to a neighbor's house in the morning and walk to school with their kids. The 5 day trip that my husband and I are taking to a national speech competition with our teenage daughter at the beginning of March? Several friends have volunteered to take our kids for 5 days!

The flipside, of course, is that I help out others whenever I can. If I'm working from home, I'll go pick up a friend's sick child at school and have them stay with me until mom or dad gets out of the office. Kids will pop into my house after school when the baby-sitter is running late, or come here in the morning if a parent needs to get to work early.

It's a juggling act, but we just do our best and many employers do understand and offer flexibility for good employees.

I'm a single mom of 1. It gets hard but my job is flexible. My daughter had the flu before Christmas and her doctor advised me not to go to work for the safety of my employees. One of my employees had a heart attack a few years ago and one has COPD. I was able to work from home. We've had 2 hours delays and 2 school closings due to the weather. My boss has kids so she understands the need to come in late or not at all.

With the 2 hour delays I went in late and one of the days where the school closed my daughter stayed with my mother. The 2nd closing I stayed home because my mother was sick and had a doctor appointment.

The schools here have the Y program for after school care. When schools are closed they are closed but you can take you child to participating Y's facility for the day. I don't know how much it cost but you can check into that to see if your town offers a program like that.

When you're a single parent more planning has to go into what to do with your kids. Sometimes options are few but there are options. Good luck.

Working mom here, 3 kids (working dad too) and the grandparents pitch in to watch the kids, pick them up from school etc.

It's funny, as you ask this, I had to take off yesterday morning, and come in late this morning, because my MIL is the one who got sick and she is supposed to watch them today! FIL is stepping in but he is not used to doing it alone and there are several school drop -off/pick-ups going on, so my job suffers while I help out. I rarely take sick days myself because I never know when I am going to have a childcare issue pop up.

My kids don't get sick too often, and when they do it's no big deal because the grandmas are already watching my baby all day, they just take on the sick kid for me too. But the grandmas... well, they get sick. They have appointments. They go on vacations and weekend trips. They are mostly reliable but since they do it for free it is somewhat informal and I feel like I am always making arrangements on top of the arrangements that are already in place.

I can't imagine having the curve balls of icy roads and snow days. I live in soCal, we still have cold/flu season but it is sunny and dry most of the time. On the other hand, it is very expensive to live here. I don't think a single mom could make it on child support alone. You'd be living in a 1 room apartment. Unless you had a crazy-rich ex, you'd probably be working. That's the trade-off I guess!

These two days I have stayed home in the mornings have been ah-mazing. I got so much done. I really wish I could be a SAHM or at least go part time. Alas, it is not in the cards right now.

You communicate with your boss and do the best you can. In our district, the care programs in the schools try hard to be open on time even if school starts later. There were times in my childhood (like 12 yrs old) where I would be sick at home alone because my mom was a single mom with little PTO. I am fortunate to have a spouse who can trade off kid care as necessary. Also, many daycares have summer or break programs, which we would use when the kids were otherwise out of school.

I'm really, REALLY lucky with the flexibility in go my job/hours/days.
My paycheck takes a hit but I'm really lucky.
Also, other moms & I trade watching kids on school holidays, in service days, etc.
I'm also lucky because my husband has always worked REALLY early & is home for the bus. But he travels a fair amount, so again, glad my hours& days are flexible.
Mine is getting old enough to be home for an hour or two by himself.

My daughter's before and after school program would keep them the extra 2 hours, and also for the cancelled school day. I guess I'm lucky, though, because my job has never had a problem with me leaving early or having to stay home with a sick kid, as long as my work still gets done and someone is in the office to cover the phones. And if the weather is too bad, I call in for weather. I had to stay home 2 days last year because the daycare was closed for the weather, and one of those days work had to close as well because they couldn't make deliveries, the semi's were sliding off the road. And my husband will go get the kids if I can't leave work for some reason.

I do have a friend who needed me for a day when I was on maternity leave. She was stuck in crazy traffic and daycare was getting ready to close. I'm already on the list as their emergency contact, so I just went to their house, a block away from daycare, put the baby in a stroller and walked over to get her kids, who were old enough to walk home themselves. It's nice to have friends around for emergencies.

Network with other moms! I have been in my job for a number of years when I had kids - so I had some seniority and good reputation when I got to those school years - all those early closing, vacations, etc. Grandparents were able to be a tiny bit of help occasionally - but mostly they were not healthy and of very little help. But one of my best firends became my best friend when we started swapping out school vacation days. Then I had a group on my block and we'd do the same thing. Another option is to find a high school kid who you can pay to babysit for your kids when you have to work. That can get expensive - but it's good to have in a pinch. If you go to a church on a regular basis ask around for ababysitters. Sometime the retired ladies like that kind of thing - it's a little money for them, they know how to supervise school age kids and it's nice to know there's a mature person in the house. Maybe you ahve an elderly neighbor who could help in a pinch?

Now I can work from home if needed. BUT back in those days I used all my sick and vacation days for school disruptions, sick kids or in-school events. VAcations were little more than stretched out weekends at a family member's house and day trips to amusement parks or beaches.

It is temporary becuase they get to a certain age where they can be left home if there's a day off. Expect phone calls on those days - but at least you can be at workk.

It's not easy - but before you know it they're in college and you have all the time you could ever need and you find yourself understanding why grandparents are wildly in love with their grandkids.

I was a single mom working mom with my first daughter. I think once you are presented with it, you just make it happen. Once in a while you ask for help, make a call you are running late, or just skip something because you just can't do it.

My daughter used to say she was the kid without a mom because I didn't make it to some of her school functions.

I must admit, it is much easier with a husband.

This is why it takes a village. You count on your village to take your kids when you can't and you take theirs when they can't. You have to have your supporters. I have had this job for almost 15 years. I've had understanding bosses and some not so understanding bosses. Either way it was job as the mom to make certain my kids are taken care of in every way. You just do what you have to do. You make a way. You let people know what you need. Let them know what you have to give. It works out when you are willing to work at it.

Certain things a job can't do and that is discreminate against you because you have children so if they give one leeway they must give all leeway but by the same token you must know what the policy is to make certain you aren't abusing it and neither is your superior.

Lastly, Human Resources is for the company it's their resource. You use it to gather information but ultimately they will make a decision or determination based on what is best for the company. This may not coincide with what is best for you and your family.

Hang in there but knowing the policy and how to use it to your benefit is what you need to do at this point. Please stop operating on how you feel. Feelings can be very dangerous in a work environment. LOL. I hope this helps. I've been there and done that.

I'm with you on saluting the working moms too!

We had a flu outbreak right before Christmas break..the district was out of substitute teachers and classes were only 50% full.

Then last week 2 snow days and power outages with -2 to 0 degree highs.

I also offered transportation, and my home to watch the kids or to stay till power was restored.

Hats off to you working moms!

Unless it was serious and required going to the doctor, my Mom simply could not take the day to be home with sick kids. When we were little, it meant a babysitter. If not my actual grandmother, then it was usually an adult friend of the family. When we were old enough to be on our own she'd come home on her lunch break to check on us.

I have a SAHM friend that does sick-child babysitting for parents that work full time.

I have a working mom friend with a SAHD husband and they are leaving the state with their baby for 5 days in February. Her two older kids are staying with their father and continuing to go to school. The dad works too, so I agreed to be the backup in case the school closes for weather.

When you work you have child care and when you work you have friends that can help out. Family aren't the only people that care about you.

Working is so much easier because you get up, leave, don't come back all day, then everyone comes home together, fixes dinner, does stuff, tosses in a load or two of laundry, watches some TV, then it's bed time. The weekends are when you strip the beds and clean the bathrooms and deep clean the kitchen.

Life is so much more organized when a person works. When I stopped working I had to completely learn new ways to manage stuff and it's hard.

Updated

When you work you have child care and when you work you have friends that can help out. Family aren't the only people that care about you.

Working is so much easier because you get up, leave, don't come back all day, then everyone comes home together, fixes dinner, does stuff, tosses in a load or two of laundry, watches some TV, then it's bed time. The weekends are when you strip the beds and clean the bathrooms and deep clean the kitchen.

Life is so much more organized when a person works. When I stopped working I had to completely learn new ways to manage stuff and it's hard.

Employed mom and dad of 3 here. We don't have any family here so we are completely on our own with no fail safe. So I hear you, winter is tough. My 3 never get sick at once it's a domino effect so if it's a 2 day illness it's 6 days. Winter break - we pay out the as$ for camps and nannies. Luckily we don't often have delays due to ice but it does happen. Last year we had a terrible ice storm everything was closed for days.

It's tough sometime on Monday, I honestly have no idea how we're going to make it though the week as we both have demanding jobs and kids with therapeutic appts in the evenings. It's a juggling act.

Do your kids get sick a lot in the winter? Maybe you should be researching ways to reduce sicknesses, they absolutely need to wash hands with soap as soon as they come home from germy school!

Great question and I loved reading the answers. My youngest will be in 1st grade next year, and I'm contemplating getting back into the work force. This last month has really made me wonder how I"ll do it. Between Christmas break, 3 snow days the following week, and a short week again last week and this week due to conferences and MLK day, my kids were only in school 5.5 days in a month's time. I don't see how I can make it work. Who is going to let a brand new employee take all that time off?