No Baby Shower and Second Time Pregnant

My heart is aching for you. I am excited for you and at the same time and happy to hear how thrilled you are to be having another baby. I, too, have a sister who is childless and calls me a "breeder" and a mother who just didn't enjoy any of it-period. Perhaps the best thing to do is have a party after the baby is born-invite everyone-not just the people that you think will attend-but everyone. You could register at a baby store and note this in the invitation. Good luck-and congratulations!

You aren't the only one. I like the "meet the baby" idea. It ended up not working out for me, as my MIL is constantly sick and contagious, and we couldn't have one and not invite her, so we opted for not.

this saddens me! Have a welcome baby party. Invite family and friends and celebrate this new life. congratulations!

have a "greet the baby" party after he/she is born. Much more fun than a baby shower!

Why don't you have an" arrival party" a month after you have the baby. Invite your friends and have refreshments. You can call it a Sip and See. Make sure you home is inviting with plenty of food.

Awe! I would also throw you a party! I agree, throw it yourself! i tend to be more excited for other peoples happiness then I ever get back. I think its very sad that no one had you a shower the first time around, I dont care what their issues are. Have a welcoming baby party, and maybe people will get the hint!!

For my baby shower, we just all reserved a space at a local restaurant we all liked. I invited everyone myself, and it was all the family, including spouses and children. There weren't decorations except for a few gifts people brought, maybe a balloon or two and that was it, but it at least got people together and we could share some joy for the baby.

You could also do maybe like a little party bbq and invite the family. Keep it low key and fun for the family, no need for all the baby shower games, but still do it in a way that it is a baby celebration.

I totally agree... throw yourself a party!! I would do it before the baby arrives, while you have more time/sleep/sanity. You don't have to call is a "shower." It could be an anticipation party, a "celebrate the new baby" party, a happiness party... whatever feels right to you. Or maybe your husband could throw it for you? Be sure to include a few guests who are happy about babies! Maybe it will be contagious. Best wishes!! :)

I wish I was your friend; I would throw you a baby shower! But with that said, throw yourself a "Welcome to the World" party for the baby once the baby is here. That way you are hosting and at the same time getting family members interested in their newest member.

Bless your heart, I could almost cry for you! I can't in the slighest imagine having family without support, sometimes we don't realize how "blessed" we've been until we read a story like yours.
One thing I've learned is if others don't come through then I would throw my own party! Sounds unconventional huh, but rather than sit around and be sad (which isn't the healthiest for a pregnant mom, dont be cheated because of others insensitivities. Reminds me of my nephews wife whom he now has four kids by (1 set of twins...they are the cutest!) she came from a background similiar to what you shared. I am a party waiting to happen because I've been an at home mom (3rd generation) so I can do anything on a nickel and dime budget (creativity is my past time) I smile now thinking about her twins 1st bday party....I mean a house full of people waiting for me and some family to come to assist her, and on top of that we were like an hour late. She has a mom that never really did this and she absolutely had NO clue what to do and thanked me profusely for coming to help. You so deserve a fun time and whether you call it a baby shower or not find someone (family or not) who you can solicit to help put it together (i've even seen people do this on craigslist) and let your creative juices flow! Im never tied down to tradition...I always add a new and exciting twist to anything I plan and it brings a "wow" factor to those who come. Only invite too those who celebrate with you to ....cheer up and things will get better!

With my family and friends and church members this is what I got.
1st baby - NO BABY SHOWER.
2nd baby - NO BABY SHOWER.
3rd Baby - a baby shower that was put together in a few days about A MONTH after my son was born.

Now I am pregnant with our 4th baby and I am 8 months along today. And well nothing is being said and nothing is being done.

I have felt sad about the whole thing, but oh well I can't make anyone care for me like that.

One thing that I have learned is that when my children grow up and get married and have their own kids (( I )) will go all out to make it a VERY SPECIAL time in their lives. All of my children will feel the love and joy of having a new baby.

I am sorry that your family and friends are not being there for you.

Try to relax and let it go.
Get a wonderful pie and eat the whole thing and relax on the couch watching your favorite tv shows.

God bless and congrat's.

Hi K.
Organise it yourself darling.Invite everyone to your house for it and have little snacks and drinks.The other ladies should bring you gifts,shame on them if they don't.You shouldn't miss out on this celebration.If certain people don't show up then it will look bad on them.It will probaly turn out to be a fabolous day and these people might learn some life lessons from it and go away thinking that they should have done this for you.
Have a fantastic day and I hope for baby number three!!lol they might be more considerate.
Wishing you all the best for your new arrival
xBernie

after waiting umpteen years for people to throw me parties I hit the inevitable. If they don't catch up, do so yourself. I don't think there are any set rules anymore. Have your own party! And if you want twenty invite thirty and if you want thirty invite forty. And have a great time!

My husband threw my last two showers. It's kind of wierd, I know. But he really wanted to celebrate the coming of our little ones! Do you have a significant other who can do that? Or can he talk to any of your friends and try and plan something with them? If you have any girlfriends nearby I would probably mention it to one of them. Maybe even ask about their babyshowers. It should lead to someone asking about yours to which you can say, "oh, no one has asked me about one yet. I hope someone does, I really am excited about celebrating this little one!"
L.

I come from a rather superstitious family and NO ONE has a shower before the baby is born. Also, we tend to do it for the first baby only -- though people informally will give a gift for second children.

Will you be baptizing your child? I ask because a christening party is another wonderful way to celebrate a child -- and get presents.

Honestly, I'm not much of one for baby showers (at least, not for me-- don't much care for that center of attention thing) so what my mom & sisters did when my first was born was a terrific alternative for me: After I'd been home for about a week, they came with cleaning supplies & casserole (& a couple of small gifts). They cleaned my house, top to bottom, took care of the baby all afternoon & left -- leaving a casserole in the oven for dinner. Now THAT was something to be cherished!

Man this sounds familiar.... family can suck sometimes.
And I don't care how busy your friends are, someone should step up. Haven't you gone to their parties... ugh... makes me mad!

Anyhow I say it is a little tacky to throw yourself a shower before the baby comes, unless your husband does it, but totally resasonable to throw one after the baby. They are called Sip and Sees.... Something you and your hubby set up!
Allows people to come over and see the baby and of course bring you things :)

Have food and drinks and welcome both men and women.... no games ect... just a gathering of people who care for you and want to meet your new little one. I wish I had done that.

Plan a Meet The Baby party! Make it an open house for several hours and people can stop by and meet the new little O..
Sheesh....some people think everything is too much trouble--sorry your family has been so blase.

If you were in Utah or I was near you, I would throw you one!!! But I practically threw my own baby showers so you could throw your own!!

It seems that your family is not into having or planning showers. The best thing for you to do is to have a meet and greet after the delivery with gifts optional. With economic times the way there are many people don't have the extra money or time and maybe caught in their own day to day lives just to survive. So don't go around wishing what if and just do whay you can after. I am sorry that you did not get one but then again people cannot read other people's minds.

May you have a safe and healthy delivery.

The other S.

Hi K., After my son was born, we threw a Meet the Baby gettogether in our home at 2 weeks old. Those who hadn't gotten a chance to see him at the hospital or stop by our house before then got to see him. I was then on my feet, and my folks were able to drive down. (We lived in Louisana and they live in NY.) We had drinks, cakes, cookies, some platters of fruits, cheese/crakers and veggies (all store bought, I made nothing.) My father (or your husband/friend/sister/whomever) made a toast in front of everyone and it was a really memorable event. Just about 90 min long, no games, husbands/kids/ladies/neighbors/coworkers invited, just a nice way to welcome the baby to the world. Lots of photos taken. And yes, some people brought gifts, but it wasn't expected. Good luck and congrats to you!

First, how sad that your family and friends can't take time to help celebrate the birth of a new baby, regardless of their personal situations. I have 2 sons, 4 and almost 2, and still threw 2 baby showers for my best friend and one other good friend while I had my kids. Second, I agree with the other post, have a greet the baby shower and you can plan whatever you like, whenever you like, and invite whoever you want. Make sure you send out invites with plenty of notice and remember that friends and family, in my opinion should always make time to celebrate others and if yours don't maybe you need some new friends, can't replace family unfortunately.

Hi K.,

I have similar family issues, but lucked out with a close friend that stepped up. Plant the seed in your husband's head...HE can throw a shower for you! Many husband's are involved one way or another with throwing a shower. You come up with a list of family, friends, and co-workers and he sets it in action. It doesn't have to be a huge, crazy party. It can be at your house. And who knows, maybe he already has plans underway...

If I was your friend, I would throw you a shower! :)

Good luck with everything,
L.

We planned our own and invited family and friends. Wanted a co-ed cookout so my husband could participate. Enlisted two great girlfriends to help, but hubby and I planned. He had a great time. Games outdoors, silly hat, music, barbecue, etc. Lots of fun. Folks could either bring gifts or not. No big deal. Or, wait for baby's first b-day and have a welcome over party. Wouldn't do it as soon as baby is born because folks tend to come sick or well and forget that newborns can't handle so many germs at once. Have fun and take pictures and don't hold grudges!

K.:

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Instead of waiting on friends and family to do it - just do it yourself! After the baby is born - have a "meet X" at your home - this will be a great way to celebrate!

If you need help planning - let me know - we're not far apart!

Best regards!
Cheryl

I have to say that I am sorry that you have no baby shower for your 1 st child.It's suck when you expected to have people you called friends and family to do it for you.But you know that you can have your husband or give one your self.It's might not be a traditional things to do but hey obviously people are not getting enough hints.Don't worry about what they think and just have fun doing it.I have to admit that I never give one to my sister in law but it 's because her so call friends thought that it was a good idea to throw it at my parent' s house and left after the party without cleaning.I think that you should just do it or let your husband does it.Besides atleast you get to control when to throw it and what kind of food to bring so it won't abset your tummy.Good Luck!

Are you close to any of your sisters? Can tell one of them that you always wanted a baby shower and ASK for one?

When it's a request given to our nearest and dearest, I personally think it's OK to ask for a party. It's possible that - for some reason - they didn't think you wanted one or it simply didn't cross their mind...

First of all, congratulations on your growing family!
When we were pregnant with our first we hosted a party for family and a few friends to celebrate our expanding clan. We had a theme based on our silly in-utero nickname for our baby and planned our own fun games and food and just got everyone together for a good time and celebration. Most people did bring shower-type gifts but we didn't plan for that part. We did not do anything like that for our second but had a big reception after her baptism so everyone could meet her and celebrate her arrival.
Good luck!

plan a welcome baby party then. go buy everything now and address and stamp all invitations and once baby is born all you will have to do is put a date and time down for two weekends later and send them out.

There is nothing wrong with throwing your own shower. Try looking at www.babyshower101.com for ideas and stuff. In my opinion you should invite everyone whether you think they will come or not. That way you know anyone who wants to celebrate with you can. I had quite a few neighbors at mine even though I wasn't super close with them and just their excitement about the new baby helped make the event that much better. When you do have your shower remember all of us are wishing we could come! Good luck!!