"No" - Nampa,ID

They say that little ones get so accustomed to hearing "no" because they hear it so often that they start to tune it out entirely. So we started using the word "freeze" when its something dangerous or serious. We even practiced this when teaching my 4 yr old to ride his two wheeler. We kinda played a version of red light green light.....but instead using "freeze" when we needed him to stop because he was getting too far ahead. The concept being he would literally "freeze" in whatever position he was in...he thought it was hilarious to be "frozen" and it helped him to comply in really serious situations.

Hope this helps. It took very little time to instill this and we still use it to this day.

Young children don't listen to words.
- Knee to his level, in his face and make him look at you
- Touch him at the same time (for example, take his hands). Touching is very important sense for toddlers
- Use an appropriate tone of voice (scared if it's dangerous, firm if he is breaking a rule). He will get the message much more from you face and voice than from the words. So, it's important not to smile or not to say NO with a "YES" voice
- After you got his attention and the main message (no) through, take a softer/normal voice to explain him why this behavior is dangerous.not acceptable
- Hug him
- Praise him for good behavior

we haven't used no very much in our house, we use the phrase "lets do something else" and help them redirect their attention to something that they can be doing. also if I really need to impress something on my daughter I tell her I need her to listen and ask her to put her hands on my face so I know she is listening then I wait for eye contact and explain to her why something might hurt her and why I don't want her to do it and then I ask her why I don't want her to do it, she parrots back so I know she listened and understands then I ask what could we do instead? and we make a new plan for something she can do.
I save NO for extreme situations like when she was 3 and started to run out into the street, she froze because she doesn't hear the word that often. it works really well for us. I've been doing this with her since she was a baby (the phrase lets do something else) I would just redirect her attention then. as she has gotten older I have added the parts to make sure she is listening.--

When my kids were that age I would use the distraction technique. We can't throw our cars, lets drive them around the kitchen.
If it's something that might hurt him, you need to firmly say "no" and remove him from the situation. Distraction works good with that too, just get him interested in playing something else that is safe.
With two year-olds it takes lots of repetition before it finally sinks in.

Avoiding 'no' is probably your best bet. Telling anyone to 'don't do' something only makes them want to do it more just to see what will happen. Mothers become the masters of distraction. To get him to stop doing something you don't want him to do, tell him to do something else that is acceptable. Or you can give a choice of 2 acceptable alternatives, and by the time he's made a decision, he'll be focused on the new activity.

I loved the idea of "freeze" rather than no, although for me, in a truly dangerous situation (running across the street, etc.) I'm not sure *I* would have reacted calmly enough to remember to say Freeze instead of no.

What I was going to recommend was skipping the word altogether. Instead, since you only want to use it for big situations anyway, a loud noise that can startle him and try to get him to look at you. Slamming your hand (or other object) on a table might work. In my junior high classroom, we have a gong which is very loud. While we don't use it in replacement for the word, "No," it does mean, "stop whatever you are doing immediately, get silent, and look at the teacher right now." In the younger classrooms in our school, they use a nice sounding bell or chime which means the same thing. I'm not sure they use it in the Toddler classroom with the 2 year olds, but they do use it starting at age 3.

Otherwise, at age 2, I think your best bet is using distraction.

Good luck!

I have found that saying "no" creatively is really effective at my house. Even if it is something that can hurt him, I try to ask, "Did you find something exciting?" as I take it away, or sometimes even explain the parts of the thing to him, how it can hurt, etc. My son is also just turned two and they understand A LOT more than I think we typically give them credit for. There are definitely some things that stay on high shelves, but for the most part, its happy repetition and lots of explanations of the world at our house. Using it as a teaching opportunity, like this is just another thing he gets to learn about the world, helps my calm stay in tact AND helps him know when things are not for touching.

Well, my child is 27 months and never listens to no until we practically scream it, but, using distraction works best for us. I'll say, "No, Aubrey." and if she's not listening, I'll go to her and say, "I said no, you crazy girl! Let's go see what Sissy is doing!" Or, "Hey, stop that, you! Where's your baby?" Or, "Hey, don't do that. It's not nice. Wanna watch Dora?"

Instead of saying no all the time, try telling him what you want him to do. For example, "Stop climbing the furniture. Let's play blocks." Hope this helps.

Instead of saying 'no' I try to redirect my 2 year old, or find other ways of saying no. Like Honey, that's not safe, or lets do something else. If you can find a way to turn it into a funny game it will probably be recieved better as well. I try to be silly but also get her to stop what she is doing at the same time, then she doesn't feel like I've won the little battle!

I haven't read all the answers, but I think it sounds like a case of over-using the word "no" too much. Please don't think I am saying kids are like dogs, but whenever I see moms constantly saying "no" and their kids aren't listening, I remember some obedience training I did years ago with my dog. No was reserved for the serious things. A "ot" type noise was used for the "I don't want you doing that, but it isn't really serious" things. I think kids are similar, in that if they hear NO for don't go into the street, and don't hit the cat, and don't stand on your books, they tend to think of all of them in the same way, and don't take you seriously. I don't recommend the "ot" :), but for some of the small stuff, try directing his attention elsewhere, talk through what you want him to do, etc. I really like the "not-safe" suggestion to. We also use "hot", and "watch your fingers". He seems to understand a lot of those because we only use them when they are relevant. Good luck!

We only use "no" and "stop" in emergency type situations. Other than that, we try to encourage the behavior we want. In stead of saying "No, don't touch that," we try to say things like "We need to leave that alone. Why don't you play with this. (Or why don't you play over here). One nice side effect to it, is that none of our kids have told us no except for rare occasions, because they're not used to hearing it. If necessary, we just pick up the child and remove them from the tempting situation. I think it helps, too, that we haven't completely child proofed our house, so when we're in other peoples houses, they're used to not touching, etc. Of course, we only have out things that we're willing to see broken. :) GL!

I have found that my daughter has such a wonderful way of dealing with her very active, very inquistive 26 month old son. You rarely hear the word "no" in her house. She talks about positive aspects of what she would like to see in her son...if he is being rough with the cat she talks about "gentle touches"...if he has made a mess with his toys she discusses "being Mama's helper" to clean things up. Now she WILL use no in situations that could be dangerous....near the road, touching the stove, things like that. But she doesn't expect blind obedience from her son...she wants to teach him the WHYS of things...when he snatches a toy away from a playmate they discuss other peoples feelings, how HE would want to be treated...things like that.
The most important thing...in communicating with a 2 year old is
get down on his/her level
make eye contact
keep it simple
give em a hug!!!

When we were growing-up my parents had a few key words that they drilled into us: No and Stop - both from the standpoint of not getting into a possibly dangerous situation.

Our kids understand no because we're pretty stern when we use it. They know it means to stop doing something immediately.

One thing we've really been trying to do lately is to praise them for their good behavior. For example: last night, our 3.5 year old was a saint. As he was going to bed I kept thanking him for being such a good boy and having such nice manners.

The more you reinforce the positive, I think the more the corrections are effective because it's not the only message they're receiving.

Good luck!

Get right down into his face, eye to eye, and while eye to eye squeeze his hand or arm very firmly. then a loud NO! Do not let go or back up from being in his face until you have his attention and he knows you mean business. Continue to look into his eyes, right down in his face, with a stern look. stay there. Be firm. Do not smile or use a soft happy voice. It sends the wrong message. Once you see a reaction from him of some sort, you can now be sure you were not ignored. Do not be afraid to startle him. You cannot and will never get obedience if you allow the child to ignore you because you are being too soft and gentle. Save the soft and gentle for any other time, but not for disobedience or obedience training.

We use two words, no and "NOT SAFE." Its hard to refrain from saying no often, I just could not do it, so when I really meant please stop before you get injured I used "not safe" in a very serious tone. When we first stated with not safe instead of no for serious stuff, I would pick him up, look him in the eye, say very firmly in a low, louder than typical (but not yelling) tone and say "NOT. SAFE." and then remove him to some place I was okay with. It worked wonders. My son typically listens to no, but freezes when he hears not safe - started that when he was very little and still works today and he is just shy of his 5th birthday.

If it is something that might hurt him, remove him from the situation while you look into his face and say "No" firmly. If he is getting into something he shouldn't, but isn't in danger...use a similar technique.... grab his hand and look into his face and say "No" firmly. After he is listening and looking at you, explain why - in a short sentence your 2 yo can understand (don't lecture or you'll lose him). Be firm and consistent.

I agree with following up "no" with action. We say "no sir" to our 2 year old son instead of just no, but always follow with an explanation and action. We'll say, "no sir. You can't play with X because it's for grown-ups / dangerous / etc." If he does the action again we tell him no again and say he will go into time out if he does the action again (warning). Third time he does the action he goes straight into time out with the explanation "you are in time out because..." We skip step 1 (informing him the action is undesirable) if it's something he's been warned / punished over in the past.

Works great. Sometimes he tests us to see if we'll really put him in time out, but we try to be as consistent as possible.

It can be hard to do time out when a child might not stay there so put him in his room or crib for a few minutes or till he calms down cause I am sure he will throw a tantrum or cry when you do this. Eventually he will learn that if he does not listen to you when you say he will ahve to go to the crib (time out). Works great fro my daycares little boy. Nos whenh he does not listen all she has to say is do you want to go to your crib and he stops.

Follow up the "no" with action. Take away what you don't want him picking up, remove him from the situation that he shouldn't be in, etc. The word itself doesn't mean a whole lot - he doesn't have the reasoning to figure out exactly what he needs to do now. So calmly and gently guide him into the right thing.

Don't be afraid of saying "no" when it's necessary. Kids learn really quickly to start negotiating. When it is definitely, non-negotiably, absolutely NO, say "no". But if it isn't, think for a minute before saying anything. Of course, if there is danger involved (running into the street, taking the dogs bowl away from dog, sharp objects, etc) it is not only okay but necessary to be able to say NO or STOP and have them respond quickly. (which is another reason to not overuse :)

Your right! save "no" so your child listens when you really mean it. If you talk to your 2 year old a lot he should understand longer explanations. I have found you need to be consistant. No is no all of the time at this age. Don't say "Let's not touch the VCR" and then the next time allow him to touch and push the buttons. CONSISTANCY! And remember two year olds can be crazy little creatures :) I noticed my own and children I care for get into more and are "naughty" when they are tired or if you are not giving them attention. If you child isn't listening because he is tired have him take a nap. If your child is not listening because he has not learned to play on his own then you have to teach him slowly to entertain himself for short (30 minutes) periods of time. Good Luck! Two -- what great joy a two year old can bring to your life-enjoy it-soon they will be 16! :] And you find yourself saying """"NNNNOOOO!!!!!""""

Tell him "no" in a positive way. Don't use any negative words. If he's about to touch something or do something dangerous, say, "That could hurt you, or that is dangerous." Depending on what he would understand better. If he's playing with something that you don't want played with say, "Oops, let's going play with your cars instead", or puzzle or whatever. Also, I know it's hard when you've had a stressful or bad day, but don't yell. They will hear you better if you are positive and talking in a normal yet firm voice. Another thing that helps is getting down to their level. When you're talking to him, squat down or kneel down so you're looking at him not down on him. Something that my husband does that drives me nuts. Is if our son is doing something he shouldn't my husband will just sit where he is and say no over and over again. Make sure you get up and go over to your son and talk to him. Don't yell or tell him from across the room. They're just going to think it must not be that bad if you're just staying where you are. Hope this helps. Just remember..."No" is a no, no! :)