Nine Year Old Often Tired and Cries Easily.

Puberty. Hormone shifts start well before visible changes. I was in a bra at 9 and had my period at 10. Not that odd.

She may need more sleep, perhaps an afternoon nap of a few minutes, or may also just be 9. I was told that 8ish was like a mini adolecense and they got some of the hormones they would get later, so I would expect some moodiness. I would first try lights out earlier.

If it persists, it may also be time to talk to her pediatrician about her tiredness. Friend of mine's daughter went to bed at a good time, but had sleep apnea and did not sleep WELL. She eventually had her tonsils and adenoids out and she's a new kid.

She could need more sleep, but keep in mind that some people are simply more sensitive than others. When you ask her why she is crying, you are sending her the message that the reason she is crying is not good enough. Rather than talk about why she is crying, try validating her feelings. Something is upsetting her, and it doesn't matter whether or not you deem it to be "cry worthy." She is upset and she is crying and that is the reality.

It's fine to talk to her about other ways she can respond to her feelings. Maybe she needs to try taking a deep breath. Let her know that it's ok to excuse herself if she's feeling particularly upset.

But please be careful in the way you talk to her. Her feelings are completely legitimate. Make sure you are sending the message that what she is feeling is ok.

And, yes, it is perfectly normal for some kids to simply get upset more easily than others. Those who do usually make excellent friends - the kind that are always their for others during times of need.

If this isn't her personality, and she hasn't been this way up until recently, I imagine that she is going through a growth spurt that is involving some early pubery related hormones. Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about it unless it doesn't resolve in a few weeks. Then make an appointment for a well-visit and talk with her pediatrician.

I wouldn't get too wrapped up in the whys and wherefores of her crying. Don't feel like you need to fix it for her. Work on helping her to identify and find solutions to her problems. This isn't the last time she's every going to feel tired in her life, so you might as well use it as a teaching moment. "Honey, if you're feeling tired, what can you do?" And let her problem solve. Encourage her to recognize what she's feeling by observing out loud and gently advising her to choose what to do next to help herself to feel better. "Your face looks a bit tired. I know that I feel upset easily when I get tired and I need to take some time away from everyone to rest. What do you think you could do?" ... "Going and laying down with a book in a quiet room is a good idea. That's very smart of you to think of. I'll call you at dinner time to see if you're hungry."

Prepare to buy some new jeans....she's going to be growing out of them. :)

My daughter has been sensitive from birth. The book by Elaine Aron called the Highly Sensitive Child has been my handbook. It is sold on Amazon and our library http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Ove...

she needs more sleep. sometimes when kids are going through growth spurts they just need more. My middle son went to bed at 8 (in bed lights out) until he was in highschool. and even then it was only til 9 unless he was working. he knew he needed it. I would just start the bedtime routine sooner and say lights out at 8. she is only 9 and thats still pretty young.

She just might need more sleep than she's getting.
At that age our son still got in 11 hours sometimes.
Plus puberty is probably not too far away.
Hormones can make anyone weepy/emotional.
Try to get to get her to lights out earlier and see if more sleep makes a difference.

My dd is very emotional...especially when tired. She is 11 now, but has been very sensitive most of her life....cries over things that I can't even believe. Ive come to the conclusion that it is just who she is. She's just emotional....hormones or not (she hasn't even gone through puberty yet...she's a late bloomer.
I've tried to work with her on not crying and trying to solve the problem...it's gotten a little better, but Ive accepted that she will probably cry over things that other people shake off. Does your dd get over it fast? My dd is usually fine 5 minutes later.

I suggest you try to figure why she's crying. My grandson cries easily. His mom asks him why he is crying even tho it's obvious to me why. The way she asks feels to me that she's saying that, whatever it is is no reason to cry. I, too, for years thought the reason wasn't serious enough for such emotional tears. I'd briefly sympathize and then go into fix it mode trying to show him a different way to interpret what happened so he would't be so unhappy.

Awhile back I dropped trying to discuss it and just stayed sympathic while I listened to him. I put my arm around his shoulder unless he pulled away. His tears are fewer and shorter in length. My listening and being sympathic validates his feelings. The issue is not what needs to be fixed. The issue is that he feels heard.

Back to the start of my answer. She may be crying because she's tired, hungry or because she's somewhat dehydrated. Most people are unaware of how important it is to drink enough fluids and that even a small amount of missing enough can cause difficulty.

Also does she have the opportunity to diffuse her feelings during the day. When we bottle them up they build up and come out with the last straw. Perhaps she's too nice at school.

Definitely take her to the doctor. She may have a medical reason to be tired.

Have you considered she may be depressed. Tiredness and easy to cry are symptoms of depression. She may not have a reason to be depressed in your view but she may be. The pediatrician is where to start.

I would try an easy fix and put her to bed earlier. I get my 9 yr old ready for bed before 8 and lights out at 8-8:15. Sometimes 8:30 on weekends. Otherwise he's a pain. We can do the occasional night out till 10:30, but regularly closer to 8 works.

She is tired, then I'd try earlier bed. My kids around that age could not get up at 7am and go to bed that late.

Welcome to mamapedia!!

Has she always been like this or is it new?

If it's new? Puberty. Hormones kick in and mess with young bodies. Especially with girls!!! My daughter cried at the drop of a hat or went the total opposite and screamed when she started going through puberty...it evened out once her body went through the biggest change...it was an example of what PMS would be like for her...still is!!!

Have you talked with her about the changes her body is going through? Is she prepared?

Good luck!

All great answers. I will only add: follow your mothering instincts. If you think it could be more than hormones or sensitivity take her to doctor for a physical and insist on a CBC blood test. It is a standard complete blood count so you can see if her white or red cells are low (which carry oxygen) or anemic, etc. Very simple but it tells a lot. We diagnosed my daughter's issue with that test when she was 18 months old and unusually tired.

She may just need more sleep. My 8 year old is in bed by 8:30 and gets up for school at 7:30. Over the summer, he would be in bed the same time and up for camp at 8 and up on weekends between 8 and 9. She might really just be tired.

I agree with B, could also be she is going through a major growing spurt.

She may need to go to bed even earlier.
Does she take a multi vitamin?
That could also help. Have her take it with breakfast.

You may want to also take her to the doctor if she has not had a full check up in over a year.

My oldest was a bear at nine years old. She was argumentative and dramatic, completely different from her usual temperament.

We thought it was tween/teen stuff starting already but after a few months it passed. Since, she has been a delight and a very easy teen to parent in almost every way.

Hormones surge, growth spurts are exhausting, they are realizing they aren't the little baby they once were and it's a big bad world out there, being nine is hard!

you don't say if this is a recent thing or if she's always been this way, which is essential information.
if this is a recent change, she needs a physical. if this is just how she's wired, you need to accept her core personality and simply parent her appropriately, ie understand that she cries easily when she's tired and don't make a mountain out of it. she's getting to an age where she should be learning to self- monitor and recognize the signs of fatigue and weepiness and head them off. help her develop some coping strategies, but don't expect to re-wire her.
khairete
S.