Crying It Out. 5 Month Old.

I used modified CIO, waiting 5 minutes before going in, but never letting them cry longer that 5. I never had to go in more than once.

IMO 5mo is too young for CIO. I was told by a NICU nurse that babies younger than 6mo do not know that you are coming back for them

6 months is the absolute minimum age for cry it out to be effective per my pediatrician.

You're not suppose to do CIO on an infant younger than 6 months--at the earliest.

I didn't read any of the other responses....but have you tried laying down with him at nap time?

This has always worked for my house. It may take a little while until your son falls asleep but it's well worth it for both of you.

Crying it out isn't a solution to anything a child does...it's totally absurd and a 5 month old infant isn't going to know what "crying it out" is...so I don't recommend that method at all, so try other things...maybe getting him up earlier in the morning and putting him down at the same time every day will help?

Some kids do better when they're on schedules.

As far as when kids need naps and when they don't....you be the judge of that. My son is 4 and still naps DAILY. But I have friends whose children have stopped napping by age 2...so every kid is different.

You may find the book "The Vital Touch" by Sharon Heller a help. Check it out of your local library or purchase it on Amazon.com...it will help answer a lot of your questions.

Good luck.

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It's really common for babies to have different patterns for daytime naps and nighttime sleeping. It's also really common for their patterns to change every once in awhile, just to keep parents on their toes.

Babies all have such different sleep and social needs. So much depends on their physiology, their reactions to what's going on in their learning process, whether they're having a growth spurt, are sick or teething, and their basic inborn personalities. There are babies who are great sleepers no matter what, and babies who are not so much. My grandson was a terrible sleeper, day or night, from birth, and we just had to work with that. It was extremely hard on his parents (I'd do occasional overnights to give them a break).

Because of his sleep resistance, I studied everything I could find out about babies and sleep. In the early months, they are adjusting to their new environment and bonding with parents. They are finding out whether the world is a safe place where their needs can be met. I'm convinced that very few babies really do well with CIO, and that it should never be tried earlier than 6 months if it's tried at all.

There is evidence that prolonged, stressful crying causes the release of large amounts of a stress hormone called cortisol, that raises body heat, heart rate and blood pressure, affects digestion, and even causes actual physical brain changes that may be permanent. These changes apparently make it harder for the child to cope with future stress calmly.

You can google "cortisol and infant brain" to access a great deal of this research, and draw your own conclusions.

Both of my kids were excellent night sleepers from the time they were newborns. During the day was a different story.
By 5 months, I already knew they weren't really going to sleep much during the day so what I did was change them, nurse them, burp them and sing to them and lay them down at the same time every day.
Yes, they did cry, and I let them. I would walk in and pat or adjust them and I always sang or had some music on but I let them lay down for about 20 minutes. Let's face it, moms have to go to the bathroom or hop in the shower.
I would pick them up and soothe them and then lay them down again either in their crib, pack and play, on the couch or floor.
But the key is, I did it the same time every day. I knew they weren't going to sleep so I didn't stress about that part. But they got used to having that time to lay down and before you knew it, they didn't even cry. They'd roll around and jabber or babble to themselves but it was just part of the routine.
That said, routines go out the window a bit when they begin teething or they get sick, but for the most part, getting them used to a schedule really helps. Whether they actually sleep or not.
Be thankful your baby sleeps at night.
It really is a trade off when they don't sleep much during the day, but I was so glad to get rest at night when so many moms are up at all hours.

I wouldn't try to force sleep at this time, but definitely let your baby have rest time and get used to it.

Best wishes!

Well I don't really have a system, but I try to learn to put my little man down before he is beyond tired and after he is actually tired enough to sleep. Babies at his age probably need a morning nap, and afternoon nap, and maybe even a late afternoon nap. So after mine has been up 2.5-3 hrs, it's time to nap. He is now 6 months, at five months he could only go 2-2.5 hrs before needing a nap. With both of mine, I have used comfort nursing if I know they are really tired and need help settling. You can use a pacifier for this as well and just lightly bounce the baby in your arms in a quiet house/room. He may be teething, which makes it harder to sleep and he may just need help to settle in the daytime. I will let mine cry a bit, but if I can see he is winding himself up, I will go and get him and try to soothe him and using some kind of oral comfort works like a charm. I don't put anything in my son's crib even though he is six months bc I just want to avoid any possible risk. If you do see the signs of tiredness, like eye rubbing, yawning etc, get that little one down bc once they pass through their window of tiredness and get totally exhausted it is so much harder!! My mom used to say, the baby will show you his schedule and you will get on it! I never believed her, but once I worked to observe my son's natural patterns, it has been much easier. With my first I was more strict about when he needed to nap, but now, I just watch for signs of tiredness and try to help him wind down. I don't do a story at this age because that is pretty exciting for their little brains. Just hugs, comfort nurse/paci/bottle, rocking or light bouncing and off to sleep:) Good luck!!! Plain and simple, some babies are just easier to get down than others! My second is so much more of a sleeper than my first, so he might just be a baby that is a bit harder to put down as well...I did CIO more with my first and he was pretty good after about a week. I don't think it will hurt him to try it, babies cry, and are very resiliant!!! Good luck!!!

You can't think of it as "letting them cry it out"... it's more that you are teaching your child how to fall asleep on his own (ie. without rubbing his back or rocking him to sleep). Once he learns to fall asleep on his own at bedtime, he should learn that once in his crib, it's time to sleep for naptime. What worked for me (my daughter is now 5 years old and a terrific sleeper... can't say the same for when she was an infant)... was to put her in her crib awake but sleepy and then say goodnight and leave the room. If there's crying to have you come back... just wait 5 min before you go back in and then go in, pat them on the back, tell them they are ok and then leave again... then wait 10 min and increase the intervals of going in to tell them they are ok. The goal is for them to fall asleep while you are out of the room so don't comfort them so much (ie. rub their back or such) that they fall asleep with you there because then in the middle of the night when they wake back up (all kids do) they'll need you there again. He needs to learn how to go right back to sleep on his own. If you are there and help them fall asleep, they will need you again to help them in the middle of the night. Hope this helps.

I wouldn't start with cry it out. Is there a routine that is consistent before naptime --i.e. snack, bedtime story, cuddle time? I found that reading a story before naptime helps them predict what is happening next and it mirrors their bedtime routine. Second, are you trying to put him down for a morning and an afternoon nap? If you are waiting to tire him out and are only putting him down for a p.m. nap he may be way over tired. I would try watching his cues much earlier. I have found that for children that wake up in the a.m. between 6 and 7:30, most are ready for a a.m. nap at 9ish. I know that sounds early but if you watch their cues, generally you'll notice they are not content with playing anymore, when held they can be squirmier, and by the time you notice eye rubbing and tired crying--it'll be too late to settle them down easily for nap. Third is consistency. The reason CIO methods work is not the crying part but the consistency of the method and the child knowing what to expect. Establish a naptime routine similar but shortened to your nighttime one and follow it, especially early in the process. For instance, avoid car rides during naptime so they won't associate car rides with napping. You want him to associate his crib with napping and nighttime sleep. I would recommend the Baby Whisperer method --it is not CIO but it helps children fall asleep on their own with less and less help from you. I thought my daughter was a terrible sleeper and napper but I wasn't being consistent enough. She sleeps more now as a 2 year old than as an infant! It makes a world of difference. Hang in there! If your night method works for you I wouldn't mess with it by trying CIO to help with the napping.

I have three kids (youngest is 15 months) and none of them were very good sleepers, especially at nap time. My second and third were probably at least 5 months before I could get them to settle down into a daytime napping routine. With my second, it took introducing a pacifier and a blankie to help her learn to settle during the day. It's just my opinion, but I think 5 months is kind of young for letting him "cry it out." When you say he cries once or twice at night, do you mean when you're trying to put him to bed or in the middle of the night? Is he reassured if you just sit in the room with him or does it frustrate him more?

Does he have something to snuggle with? Like a blankie or stuffed animal? If he's starting to roll in his sleep it's usually safe to introduce something to help them self-soothe. If they have something to grab onto it helps a lot. If he's sleeping well at night why would you even try something like CIO? You just need to find out what to do for naptime. Is he going down too late for naptime and maybe overtired? Do you have a quiet down period before naptime so he's not going down excited? Babies change their schedules constantly especially when they are younger. Maybe he needs a change in his nap schedule.

Every child is different--that was the first thing I learned when trying to figure out napping patterns and how to get my second child soothed to sleep. My first, for example, would cry, kick and scream if I put her in one of those long gowns with the drawstrings at the bottom, or if I tried to swaddle her. She HATED having her feet restricted. So my second baby comes along a few years later, and I do everything to avoid restricting her feet--she cries and cries and won't sleep well until I nurse her to sleep, exhausted. A friend of mine comes over, deftly wraps her up tight in a baby blanket, and after about 10 seconds of fussing, she gets quiet and goes to sleep within minutes! I was astounded! I spent the next three years "wrapping her up like a burrito" when it was time to go to sleep--even as a toddler it worked. The third one? Well, she NEVER napped consistently. Yes, she would get tired. No, she WOULD NOT NAP--I would nurse her (all my babies were breastfed exclusively at that age and we kept nursing through toddlerhood), which always soothed and comforted her, and she might doze off for 10-15 minutes at the breast, but if I tried to lay her down--no way. She slept well at night, though all of them slept with us as babies, to make nursing them very easy in the middle of the night. (and no, I didn't suffocate them).

I also noticed, and this is possibly going on for your little one, that every time they hit a major growth phase--and 5 months is about right for one--their napping patterns and needs would change. Usually, what happened is they went a little more time between naps--which could be very difficult when we got to where they really needed two during the day, but the second one would put them waking up too near bedtime.

The primary thing that WAS true for all of them was that they very early established themselves as little human beings, with feelings and ways of expressing those feelings. Crying is about the only way a baby has to express distress--and just like you, if a baby is distressed and asking for help (through crying), that little person will not feel better by being ignored, which is what "crying it out" is all about. You are already setting up long term communication patterns, self-esteem patterns, and all kinds of learning in your child. Do you want him to learn that he can count on you, even if it's annoying, or do you want him to learn that his pleas for you will be ignored. A baby who has a clear pattern for getting calm and ready for sleep, WITH help from mama and/or daddy, and who knows you are right there if needed, is a baby who will feel more able to "let go" and go to sleep.
Have you tried music? Singing--even if you don't think you are a "good" singer--is one of the best ways to calm your baby while also calming and grounding yourself, so you are projecting relaxation rather than being upset. Walking, laying down with him on a bed, rocking him, doing regular massage from his head to his little toes (takes about 10 minutes or so, not a big deal), all while singing and softly talking about sleepy time, will do far more to relax him than leaving him to cry. A baby who feels safe and secure will relax and rest. A baby who sees "bedtime" as being put in a crib and being left no matter what he does will either get more and more distressed about the crib or will simply start to disconnect emotionally from you in order to make himself "ok" with it. Neither is a good thing in this time of amazing emotional and mental development.

I know it's hard work, but setting up a regular bedtime routine and disciplining yourself to stay with him until he doesn't need this WILL be better and ultimately set up a long term trust between you that you will find so valuable in the future.