Nine Year Old Having Trouble with Death

I don't think there is an age that's 'too young' to exhibit anxiety. I have OCD and wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. I'd lived a secret life since I was a very young child. Somewhere in my early childhood I became afraid of vomit, gross right, but not just afraid totally paralyzed by the thought. If someone at school was sick I'd have to go home too because I was terrified to be in the same place where the sick kid was. I became terrified of public bathrooms because someone might come in and vomit. I wouldn't get on rides at the fair because I might get sick. By the time I was 18 years old I was 5'6" and weighed under 100lbs. I'd gotten so bad that I wouldn't eat anything because I was so afraid of what it would do inside my body. After much therapy I am in control now. I still have a hard time sometimes. As a kid my teachers and my parents treated me like I was being intentionally 'difficult'. I have a very good relationship with them and always have. Once they understood what was really going on they were able to be supportive. Both of them had no idea that anxiety could effect someone so young. It is normal at that age to fear death and suicide. But if it is having an impact on her daily life and is occupying her thoughts so much that she is getting upset about it you might consider talking with a therapist. You can find out if she's just fixated on this issue because it's fresh in her mind from something she heard about or whether there is a bigger problem with anxiety in general. I thought my anxiety was 'crazy' so I always hid my problem and didn't tell anybody that I stayed up all night worrying or that I hadn't eaten in 2 days because if I was hungry that meant my stomach was empty and therefore couldn't throw up. Even if she's experiencing a long term anxiety disorder you can start now and help her learn to deal with it. Most likely she's dealing with acute anxiety over a single fear that will go away.

It does sound like she might be having some anxiety. Has she lost a loved O. recently--a grandparent, etc? I'm sorry she's having a tough time.
Of course the thought of death and suicide is upsetting to anyone, though. And concepts seem to come in and out of focus for children. They obsess about something, then never talk about it again. Maybe what she saw about suicide was a brand new concept for her? I would just sit down and talk honestly about death with her. And the implications of suicide and the sadness experienced by the families.

my son started acting very scared around this age too and I took him to a therapist. His anxiety was worrying about something happening to me. Is there someone in the family that is having trouble that you may be talking about often? She might be worried about them or maybe you and just telling teachers that she saw it on tv. I would sit her down and ask her if she gets worried about you and not to worry because mommy is there to take care of her. I would follow up with therapy to talk about it in privacy. Good luck

Keep an eye on what she is watching. There has been a lot of news media focused on teen suicide lately. Maybe avoid having the news on when she is around. I don't watch a lot of tv shows, but I'm sure they are also focused on it as well. Maybe make sure she isn't watching anything too negative. I would be pacing too, if my parents were called when I was in school.

A family therapist is a good start. And she is not too young for anxiety issues. My own has had terrible issues since she was a baby. She is also a tad OCD and ADD.
It's taken us years but we have to be very scheduled and tell her what is going on so there are no surprises. She knows her schedule, school, chores, Girl Scouts, and church. If i start to mess with it she gets pretty flustered. She is 13 and in 7th grade.
I watch what my daughter watches on tv and commercials. We couldn't get through some of Disney's until recently.
I censor her books adn let her have what she can handle. Right now she is much better and even saw Harry POtter, but it has taken us years to get her this far.

Hi T.,

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's recent issues with anxiety. I don't know that I have anything to add, except that my daughter has separation anxiety for the first time, at age eight. Taking her to see a counselor was the best thing we did for her. She's not out of the woods yet, and it's all sort of day-to-day, but I just wanted to let you know that I will be keeping you and your daughter close in my thought and hope that you will have success with the therapist.

My only suggestion is to not be discouraged if your first therapist does not work out. You need to be completely comfortable and have 100% confidence in whoever you choose to work with your daughter. Perhaps you can meet with him/her first, before introducing them to your daughter? Ours met with both my husband and me first before wanting us to even mention her to our daughter.

I wish you all the best, and I hope your daughter starts feeling better soon. Your story really touched me, as we are experiencing that sort of anxiety in our house right now too. Take care, and know that I am thinking of you and sending you the very best wishes for you and your family.

L.

It is developmentally appropriate, but still upsetting. If she's having trouble in school, you might want to consider taking her to a councilor.

Just as an FYI, I went through the same thing when I was 10. My father had a stroke (lived) and, even though my parents shielded me from the worst of it, I started having terrible panic attacks. As I got older, it got better (I was never medicated or anything). My only advice is to really seriously validate her fears. Telling her that she doesn't have anything to worry about isn't true, but you can help to alleviate her real fears.

Good luck.

My daughter has the same problem she even locks the door every night
I am just taking her to a phcycologist