Night Wetting Due to Seperation

Updated on March 10, 2010
H.N. asks from Ketchikan, AK
6 answers

My four year old son has been compleatly potty trained for six months. My boyfriend had been living in the same home with me and my son for the past year and half. When he decided to leave two months ago my son started wetting thebed agan at night. He started sleeping ound at night and not waking up to use the restroom anymore. He ha been waking up, using te restroom and going back to bed.Now I have to be on alert now. He wets thebedso bd he asks me to give him a bath sometimes when he wakes up at night. He has been seeping rfghet through wetting te bed. How do i get him back to normal and not wetingthe bed again???

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M.K.

answers from Seattle on

my friend's daughter who is 6 was potty trained by 2 during waking hours but is a very deep sleeper. They get an alarm and get up with her to pee every night and that keeps her from having accidents.

im curious why your son was waking up every night when your BF was living there but now he is sleeping thru the night. Did your BF stay up late/work late and that woke your son? Whatever was causing it, it seems that going to the bathroom at night solves the problem.

i think it will be important to talk to your son about this too. not so much focus on the peeing and more on how he feels about your BF leaving. he may be scared that you will leave or worried that he did something. make sure he knows you wont decide to go away and its not his fault.

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

He is grieving. The homeopathic remedy for grief is Ignatia. Use 30c twice a day for five days and see if he improves. Only look for improvement not total success. Use praise if he has a night of success.

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V.G.

answers from Portland on

Your son probably really bonded with this guy and is now in a state of morning or loss. :(
Please make sure you talk to him about what happened, and give him plenty of hugs and love.
He's not enjoying wetting the bed, its just his little body's way of handling (or maybe not handling) the stress of losing someone he was close to.
Please be patient with him and understand that he wouldn't wet the bed if it was his choice.
Good luck, and remember he needs you more now than ever. :)

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M.K.

answers from Seattle on

hi H.... I'm soo not the therapy gal..
so to help you for the moment...I suggest being prepared for the accidents.. ie.. get some mattress pads.. and even for the mattress a plastic cover.

why .. you say I suggest so.. well ...in the middle of the night - when every one is soo tired.
your son does not feel the whole emotionally + frustration ready to deal with all it entails.. . nor does mama.

also it helps you to not have soo much to do.

all the best,
-marg.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Give him time, and never yell at him or get angry when this happens, it is normal after a loss for a child to regress for a while. In the mean while, get him some under jams or some similar product so he does not have to wake up wet and embarrassed. You can also put 2 layers on the bed (ie, waterproof cover, sheet, another water proof cover and then another sheet), that way if the under jams leak you can do a quick change just removing the top layer and get him back to bed with minimal disruption of everyone's sleep.

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N.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi there,

My son did the same thing when he lost his grandma. He was completely potty-trained, but when my mom passed away, he started wetting the bed again. He is back to normal now.

I would avoid giving too much to drink before bedtime, and make sure your son goes to the potty before bed. Also, reassure him as much as possible, and encourage him to talk about his feelings. Does he miss your boyfriend? If so, try to let him know that no matter who else comes and goes in your life, you are the constant in your son's life and will always be there for him. He needs a sense of security when someone who seemed like they'd be there forever disappears.

Best,

Nessa

p.s. - I would be careful about introducing new boyfriends to your son, and take it slowly. Good luck.

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