Night Weaning a Breastfed Toddler

Updated on June 02, 2009
E.H. asks from Grand Rapids, MI
12 answers

When and how should I night wean my son? He is 14 months old and usually wakes once a night to nurse. I have heard to wait until 18 months, and I have heard that as long as he is getting enough milk during the day, then it would be ok, too. Currently he nurses 4 times a day. Is this enough milk to drop that night nursing session? Also, I don't really know how to night wean. My other children didn't nurse at night after 2 months old, so this is all new to me. Any suggestions or advise? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

After considering all of your responses and doing some research, I have decided to wait to night wean until he is older. Hopefully, he will do it on his own without any encouragement from me. I also talked to a nurse at the peds office about this issue. Basically she said that he is drinking enough milk during the day that he doesn't really need it at night, but if he is doing it out of habit or because he needs me at night, we will never know. I don't want to disrupt his life by weaning before he is ready to. I'll just have to suck it up and remind myself that this will not last forever. Someday I will get a full nights sleep...maybe when all my kids are grown up and out of the house. :) Thank you for all of your responses!!

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

I'd let this go and be grateful it's only once a night! My feeling is that, under 18 months, if they're saying they need you, they do, and it may not be just about the milk. You sound like you're a really conscientious mom and doing a great job! Don't worry - he'll soon not need you so much and then you'll be a little sad.

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D.H.

answers from Detroit on

If it's not bothering you, I'd say just wait and see if he self-weans in the coming months. But I reached the point when my kids were between 15-18 months old that I was exhausted (they were nursing more than once a night) and ready to get a good night's sleep again. I had pretty good success with Dr. Jay Gordon's method:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

It's geared toward co-sleeping families, but can be altered for a crib-sleeping baby, too. There was some crying, but overall it's a very gentle method. Good luck!

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

Most babies don't need to eat at night after about 4-6 mos. He absolutely does not need to nurse for nurishment at night. He is waking out of habit.

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R.W.

answers from Jackson on

Could Daddy do the night time wake up routine?

That worked with one child who was a night nursing maniac (still waking to nurse until he was 2...at least 2-4x's per night!!) I ended up sleeping in another room, while Daddy took care of him.

Another thing that worked was sleeping with my back to my daughter (2nd night nursing weaning...oh and we co-sleep) she was 18months. If she couldn't find the boob she just went back to sleep. For her it was more habit than an actual need...she's 2 now and will wake up maybe 1x a week if that and actually need some milk...usually those are the days when she hasn't eaten well.

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J.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

first I want to say yay for cloth diapers and breastfeeding :)

Second, I don't know if it will help, but here is a link to info about breastfeeding and sleeping thru the night. http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html

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S.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

i would see if your husband would get up with him in the night. Even if you go to comfort him, he will smell the milk, and want to nurse. I stopped nursing my daughter at night about 7 months. after that, i just didn't go down stairs to get her. she didn't really fuss or cry for very long. maybe 5 min, and then she went to sleep. I just recently weaned her all together, but it didn't even phase her. we are trying for another child, and the doctor told me it would be best to wean before i was pregnant again. so at 14 months, i went to nursing, at bed time only. then at 15 months, i just stopped all together nursing. Just one day i said she was done, and there wasn't any fuss out of her about it. She gets a cup of milk before bedtime, so that kept her getting milk just before bed. at 12 months, i started adding in more whole milk into the day with nursing, and slowly over time, we just added in more whole milk and less nursing time.

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

E., my daughter didn't nurse in the night time after a few months either, so I'm not sure how your son will react if you don't nurse him when he wakes, but I can confidently tell you that he does not NEED to nurse in the night. Babies can sleep 8-12 hours after only a few months without eating, so do not feel like he will be hungry. Also, most things are more difficult to change the older kids get, so if you want to get your nights back, START NOW! I would suggest that when he wakes, you just go to him and comfort him, but DON'T NURSE! Or, have your husband go to him, that might be easier. He may have to cry it out for a bit, but be assured that he CAN sleep through the night. Waking is probably more a habit than anything!

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

I weaned my son from night feedings at 8 months. His doctor actually told me that you can wean them from night feedings as early as 6 months because they don't really need the feeding at that point. I nurse him four times a day now, as well as him getting solid (baby) food, and he is doing just fine.
At his nighttime feeding, I simply cut back on how long I would nurse over the course of several days. So, the first time, I would nurse him 10 minutes, then the next night 9 minutes, etc, until I simply wouldn't nurse him at all. At that point, I would rock him for a minute and then put him back down. It took him a couple of days, but he eventually just started sleeping through the night because he didn't expect to nurse.

Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

I would wait and see what HE does. He will probably give it up on his own soon. He is probably just waking because he wants his mom and wants to make sure you are still there. Baby led weaning is easier than mama led weaning and way less stressful. Hooray for you...you have given him the best start by breastfeeding him....what's a couple more months? :)

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

my son is 2 and still wakes at 5 am to nurse...!!! but he nurses and goes back to sleep till 8 .

I hope he stops soon.. I am too lazy to wean him - I will wait until he weans himself..

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R.H.

answers from Detroit on

Hi E.,

I'll tell you what I did with my daughter and then hopefully it will give you some suggestions on things to try with your son.

First, congratulations on still nursing! That's wonderful! You're giving your little guy such a great start to life.

I'm guessing since he is more then a year old you are also giving him solid foods. Now that he is over a year, solids are becoming more important as far as his caloric intake. The whole 'nursing enough during the day' thing, as far as all I've read, really has to do with babies younger than 12 months. Before that 12 month mark milk should be their primary source of nutrition and calories.

But, you're beyond that. So, really ... anything he takes is bonus! My daughter continued to wake in the night as well and wanted to nurse at this age. But, of course, after more then a year of not getting a solid 7 or 8 hours of sleep, I was more then ready to give up those night sessions. I was completely prepared to nurse during the day until 2 years....if my daughter wanted to. I was concerned that she might be hungry in the night... I knew I had to determine whether or not it was night waking because she was used to it, or if it was because she was hungry.

So, I started making sure I was alert and awake when she woke up and I started really paying attention to how she nursed. Was it different then during the day... how long, how vigorous, etc... I realized... she was not really taking any milk. It was comfort nursing.

So, I felt good about the amount of food she was getting during the day... no need to adjust that, and I knew I just needed to do something about this comfort nursing.

Some people may tell you to just leave him in his bed and let him cry and eventually he will get it that there is no night nursing. That's not my approach. I felt I needed to continue to let my daughter know I would be there for her, but also teach her that night time is for sleeping.

So, once I determined it was comfort nursing...the next night when she woke up as usual I went in, I made sure her diaper was dry, I sat in the rocker with her, she signed for milk and I calmly told her 'It is not time for milk'. Then I encouraged her to snuggle in and I rocked her.

Yes, she cried. But not too much. I just kept telling her 'it's sleepy time, it's not time for milk'. We did this for about 3 nights. Once she would settle down and be very sleepy again, I would put her in her bed. After about 3 nights... we were good to go.

No more night wakings. She's now 21 months old and still sleeps like a champ. She also doesn't nurse at all anymore. Around 17 months old she started to just drop more and more day feedings until she just didn't ask for it any more. On her 18 month 'birthday' she literally didn't ask for anything. The next night she did (she was down to just bedtime nursing), but was off and on for about a week...and then was totally done.

Hopefully I've given you some things to try. Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

If your son is waking in the night to eat it is because he is hungry-- which means he needs to eat. When he is no longer hungry, he'll stop waking to eat. That is how you will know he's outgrown the need to eat in the night.

How often and even how much he eats during the day is immaterial, just as what you ate last Sunday has nothing to do with whether or not you'll need to eat come a week Tuesday.

According to sleep studies, children wake in the night regularly until they are about 4 years old. Whether or not they think anyone will come to them and help with whatever it is that woke them (or even if they need anyone) is all that keeps their parents informed of this.

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