Night Nurse Vs. Post Partum Doula and Cost

A doula is a professional and will cost much more.

you dont really need a professional.. you need an extra set of hands..

a day nanny or a night nanny would be fine.. I am sure you can find one for abotu $10 an hour.

my first child did not sleep at night.. so when I had my second child I hired someone to help me during the day for 6 weeks.. (4 days a week) my second child was a dream slept from the first night..

I think you can find at least part time childcare for your older child so she will be somewhere playing and you can nap when the baby comes.

Any route you take will be expensive. My husband was a cop and worked
nights, but it was really fine. Your older one is four. Definitely self sufficient.
Personally I could not have a stranger in my home. It will work out fine. You find the energy. You must have a friend that could take your four year old for an afternoon. My friends and I used to switch all the time.

Thought you were pregnant. Just realized you are not. By the time you have another your older one will be five, at least. I would not worry about it now. Wait until the time comes.

What is happening to caring for our own young.I take it your a SAHM so am I with 4 have no extra set of hands except after he comes home from work even then I still am doing mostly all there is to do & doing a great job do you think you'll fail as a mother with some lack of sleep?Are you really concerned about sleep?We are mothers God has made us to be incredible sleep deprived women who can still function as being a good mother.I have sleepless nights not saying I don't not saying that I miss sleep I just don't get it why others choose to hire someone to help raise their children when they are a SAHM who can care for them.I just don't get it

I can't answer your actual question. but can only give you my impressions.

first It would take a long time for me to be comfortable with a stranger, unless they just had the spot on perfect personality. I don't like people in my home. so this would be a last resort for me.

I also don't really trust strangers with my babies so I have some issuse of my own.lol.

I guess, i also think, it would be rough and no you would not be the very best mommy to the 4 yo but you could do this all yourself if you were willing to sacrifice. that might mean letting dd watch tv snuggled w you on the couch while the baby sleeps in a pack n plan 2 ft away.

it seems a shame that your dh can't cut out a job and alter your life style so that you can be a family together, you would only really need the help for a year or so.

I didn't go research any past questions but i wonder why your dd would go to preschool full time.
am i being really slow? you work full time??, and hubs has 2 jobs and some of that money goes to full time day care, plus you are considering paying for night time help, is that a clearer picture? but what is the day time post partum doula for? gah sorry i'm confused.

i guess either of those options work, cutting back work hours would work, hiring a college or high school student in the afternoons to playgames and entetain the 4 you might work -- personally i would find that less threatening if it was a highschooler who was earning childcare experience while i was physically present, waiting until dd is in kinder might be another option too.

good luck and please clarify what ever it is that im missing.

edited: I"m so sorry sweetie, but i just am not ok with this question. probably some life experience of my own that i am projecting on to you but something is just off and i feel like i need to tell you that bringing another life into this world with daddy not around and mommy not being present for what ever reason, just seems awful to me. another baby will add more stress to what ever is going on. I don't think it's a good idea. again sorry. just my opinion but i would advise being happy with your one child.

When I priced night nannies in the DC area they were a couple hundred dollars a night. We didn't want one every night so it did cost more. We ended up not going with it. I'm a SAHM, which it sounds like you maybe too after number 2, and I took all the nights during the week and my husband took weekends. My husband was also gone during the day at work so I didn't have help during the day either. It sucks, but you can do it. If you want help during the day, look into a mother's helper. Care.com or Sittercity.com can help you locate a mother's helper in your area. Maybe just a couple hours a day during the week can give you the rest you need, help around the house, and is a lot less expensive than a night nurse or a doula. However, there is no doubt that if we had the extra money that I would of hired a night nurse.

A friend of my mom's hired a night nanny when her twins were born (she was 44 at the time). She did pay more, but it was just a nanny wage.

I think it depends on the baby you get. Honestly, I can count on one hand the number of times my husband got up in the night with the babies, and we have had 3 of them. What I found helped for me with number 2 and 3, is to keep them in my room in the rock and play. When they cried, I either picked them up and formula fed them (I had the bottle with water already on my nightstand with the formula right next to it) or breastfed them and stuck them right back down. If they weren't due to eat I found the binky and stuck it in. It didn't get hard at night (other than the first 2-3 nights home) until they got out of the rock and play and into a crib in their room, at about 4 months. When I had the 3 year old home with me and a newborn, I would have snuggle time with her in the morning. Baby went into crib, and she and I rested together on the couch--she watched her shows for about an hour while I napped. When others came over to help me, I found it hard to sleep while they were in the house. I think getting help with your older daughter would be the most help for you IMO. Good luck!