Newborn Doesn't like His Crib (I Think)

My first slept with us, and he went to his own big boy bed like a champ. Don't worry, it can be done.

keep putting him in it...he is probably reacting to the fact that you are not close, nothing really to do with the crib. You can try to put something close to the crib that you have worn (a nightshirt or something) so that he smells you close by, even though you are not...that worked for a friend of mine. You say now that you are fine with him sleeping with you, but remember, if you create this habit, it is going to be tough to break later on...so be prepared (if you think that you are not going to be okay with it at some point, I wouldn't start the behavior now!)

I second Charlene's response and I think this was a great book, easy read also

Good Nights: The Happy Parents' Guide to the Family Bed (and a Peaceful Night's Sleep!)

I co-slept with my son until he was 2. After that he moved easily to his own bed and we never looked back.

Think about something.. Do you like to sleep alone or with your husband? Think about how scary it is for a TINY, helpless baby to be forced to sleep alone. They want the warmth, love, snuggles, and comfort that YOU want when you're sleeping. Touch is just as important as any of the other basic needs, including clean diapers, warmth and food. Proper touch develops a healthy neurological system that will stay with your child for life. Read the article below if you want to learn the science behind what I'm saying..

The United States is one of the ONLY countries in the world that puts their newborn babies in another room let alone another bed.

http://faculty.plts.edu/gpence/PS2010/html/Touch%20and%20...

Something I have not seen mentioned is that the matress might be cold... you can put a hot water bottle or heating pad in the bed before nap time and then remove it just before you put him in. Tuck him in all snug and see if that helps.
Please, don't let people make you feel guilty for letting your little guy sleep in a crib. You are not wrong to do this,it is OK. We all have our passions and opinions. You are the mommy, YOU know best!
Happy Training!

Hmmm...warm cozy momma...cold, hard crib...which would you choose? We had a family bed with my son and I don't regret it for a moment. Babies are smart. They want what is best for them and from an anthropological point of view, sleeping with mom is much safer and more comfortable. It's hard to break millions of years of evolution to fit in with what society tells us to be true for today. Trust your baby...he's telling you what he needs. They eventually go to their own bed. My son sleeps just fine in his own room now. Trust your instincts and do what feels right.

Good luck!

B. W

Many babies just don't like the crib until they are a bit older (say 6-9 months). The crib can be huge and daunting when they are just tiny. Our little girl wouldn't sleep all night in her crib until she was at least 8 months old. In fact, I had to sleep with her for the first 4 months and then slowly transition her to her own space. I was always so freaked out about co-sleeping and planned on never doing it before I had her. Then, first night in the hospital, she would scream the second she wasn't being held. The nurse suggested putting her in bed with me and it was that way for months. You never know what your baby is going to need before having them. ;-)

Other sleep options that have worked for some babies that weren't ready for the crib are:
- bouncy seat
- swing
- carseat
- bassinet

Usually they will grow out of these smaller spaces by 4 months old, but it keeps them safe feeling in the meantime. I think you have plenty of time and even though it might seem like a ways a way, he will sleep in his crib sooner than later. Also, you might just miss having him next to you when he gets a bit older. ;-) I remember how much I longed for sleep when our daughter was a newborn. Now she's 3 and Miss Super-Independent and would never actually SLEEP if she was in bed with us.

Oh, one more thing that helps... we learned how to double-swaddle our little girl when she was about the same age as your son. We thought she hated being swaddled and gave up on it when she was 3-weeks old. Well, once we learned the double-swaddle, everything was different and she was much happier and slept so much better. We continued using the DS until she was quite a bit older (almost 1 years old). I found this blog that has the instructions on how to do it:
http://toomuchbluesky.blogspot.com/2007/10/how-to-double-...
We did it almost the same way. The main difference was that the last step on the inner blanket - we were taught to pull the blanket up through her legs and take the tails and wrap them back around her so the blanket ends end behind her back. The other thing we learned was that we used a felt receiving blanket for the inner blanket and something with a little stretch for the outer blanket. Then we would lay the outer blanket down horizontal (instead of like a diamond) and just wrap her like a burrito. It really held her snug and secure. Calmed her down and made her feel safe.

I hope that helps. Take care!! :-D

Congratulations on your new baby and good for you for checking in with other mothers for advice! I could go on and on for pages about why it is preferable for babies to sleep next to their mommies but I'll just recommend a couple of books: Good Nights: The Happy Parents' Guide to the Family Bed (and a Peaceful Night's Sleep!) by Maria Goodavage and The Baby Book by William Sears (or any other book by Sears).

The first advantage is getting a better nights sleep with baby next to you. Then there is also the security and self-esteem and confidence you instill into your child's personality by bedsharing, as well a positive and secure outlook on people and life in general. (All of this has been proven in recent studies - see also Baby Hearts: A Guide to Giving Your Child an Emotional Head Start by Susan Phd Goodwyn.) The more constantly you are physically with and touching your baby (sleep included) the less they will cry in general and the more pleasant personality they will develop (optimistic, secure, confident, empathetic). Again, all of this has been shown to be true in studies.

William Sears summarizes it best when he says childrearing is "pay now or pay later". The extra work and effort you put into the first 3 years when the personality is developing the easier they will be to raise (including teen years) and the more problems you will thwart or avoid down the road. If you want to know what the most critical time is -- you guessed it -- the newborn to infant period. This is pretty much true all the way through life -- the younger they are, the greater the impact.

P.S. I would tend to believe that ALL babies want to be constantly held and with their mothers if you actually pay attention to their signals. Just my opinion - no studies on this that I know of. :-)

P.P.S. Better not to swaddle an infant to bed or for long periods of time. They need the freedom of movement to sleep with their legs splayed out frog-like, and it could hinder their leg and joint development.

I think your baby likes the warmth, your heartbeat, and your movements... remember, the baby was with you for 9 months straight, and doesn't want to be a part now. This is the babies 4 trimester (look at the baby - wow, can you imagine the baby doing anything without you?) and needs all the love, time, attention and patience you can give. This time won't affect how the baby thinks once the baby is able to - so don't worry about spoiling the baby. What the baby needs now is reassurance and confidence building... In time your baby will love his (or her) crib and you'll have your space back!

All just my opinion of course!! :)

Good luck to you Mama!

Hi J. -

Your little baby is so little and he craves the warmth of your body and the comfort of your milk, which is why he sleeps so well when he's with you. The crib cannot offer any of these things. When I was using a crib (a long time ago), I would sometimes put a heating pad on the mattress for a few minutes before laying my baby down, but definitely don't leave the pad in the crib w/ the baby or lay the baby on the pad. Also, babies generally do much better sleeping when they are swaddled really well before laying them down. One thing people do sometimes is just put the crib next to their bed in a side-car arrangement so that one side is open and at the same height as the parents' bed so that baby can be near mommy while they're getting accustomed to the crib (go online to find out how to set up a side-car arrangement safely). I probably wouldn't try this until the baby is older since a 7-week-old still needs to nurse so often and they have growth spurts so much more frequently at this age. Enjoy cuddling with your little one while he is so tiny!

Blessings to you from a mom who loves co-sleeping,
J. (mom of 5)

is there a way where you can take the side rail off of the crib then push it up right next to your bed? that might work. then the baby will be close and you will still have room.
Hil

not sure how to make him like his crib, but I went through the same thing with mine... now he's TWO and STILL in bed with me. I have nothing against bringing baby to bed with you, but unless you want it to turn into something long term, I would try to figure out how to get him into his crib.

Also, I've heard a lot of moms say this about their first born, but then the second takes to crib a little better... We can hope!

Put something with your scent on it in bed with him... like a sweatshirt you have worn, etc. My husband used to cuddle our daughter with it when I had to go out and she wouldn't be comforted by anything else he did.

i found with my kids if they were put in a big bed like the crib they would not sleep until they were about 3 or 4 months of age. I put them swaddled in a moses basket until 2 or three months and then in the bassinet. my son my third kid slept in the bassinet from the time we came home. I found that as they got older and were not being swaddled anymore they were ok to start taking naps in there crib and they moved into sleeping in the crib after a couple weeks at naps and nightime. i have also heard people liking those bears that have the heartbeat. good luck and cherish the days when you can nap with your one child.

We found that some of ours wanted the warmth that a body provided, so we got around that by using hot water bottles and those microwave bags with the rice or barley in them. This helped the bed be warm.

Also, we used the swing a lot. They would sleep in the swing because of the constant motion. With our first, that was so hard for me, but by the third, I was all for it!

You just have to figure what works for baby and you. I never sleep well when the baby is in bed with me, so I had to find something else to work.

Good luck

I agree, swaddling is the answer! I sort-of co-slept with my infants as well. My husband, who is a light sleeper, was not able to get enough sleep so I moved into another room with the baby. I always put the baby, swaddled, in the place my husband's pillow would have been with his/her head away from me. That way I could grab and nurse easily and quickly and then lay us both back down again. I was worried about the baby getting too warm and the incidence of SIDS with cosleeping. Not that I am knocking co-sleeping, I know plenty who have successfully done it. It just wasn't for us.

My PDoc said that the crib can feel very large and empty to them, and we should "block off" one end to make the sleeping area smaller so he wouldn't feel so "out in the open" - and I agree, using a flannel sheet or heating the crib before you lay him down should help a lot! I tried swaddling - since I did the "wrap" and wore my baby - but he seemed to get over heated when he was swaddled, so he woke more....
good luck, you'll find something that works.

Congratulations J.:

My duaghter was the same way and I moved her into a bassinet and put blankets tightly rolled around her. they like to feel closed in. You can do this in a crib also. You might also invest in a womb, sound maker, lots of babies love that.

Have fun and hang in there.

Try swaddling. and consider a bassinet -it help keep the swaddle tight.

Have you tried a bassinet? I agree with the previous post about newborns being overwhelmed by the "openness" of the crib. We had our daughter in a bassinet in our room for the first four months or so, until she was learning how to sit up. I did start trying naps in the crib at an earlier age (around 2-3 months) just to get her used to it. I'm a super, SUPER light sleeper, and my husband is an extremely DEEP sleeper, so co-sleeping wasn't going to work for us. (Plus, the only advice I got from several friends of older kids was co-sleeping is fine if you don't mind sharing your bed for the next four years...um, no thanks!)

Once they're out of their "fourth trimester", around four months--you can work on sleep training, but right now he's so little and does what he does (cry) because of need, not want. At least that's the theory of some parenting experts. Others feel differently. There are some great books out there about infant sleep, toddler sleep, etc.

I also totally agree with the double swaddle! It can be a lifesaver.

A great resource for helping babies relax and stay calm is the DVD version of "Happiest Baby on the Block". We checked it out of the library, but it was SO helpful to "SEE" examples of the different calming methods for newborns. My husband buys it for all of his friends/family as soon as they announce they're pregnant!

Hope you figure out what works best for your son!

congrats on your baby first. My daughter is 5 1/2 months old now and she still doesn't sleep in her crib. When i first brought her home she either slept next to me or in her bassinet. it's the comfort knowing that you are near them that makes them comfortable. Now that she is grown out of her bassinet I have her in a play pen next to my bed. She is sleeping through the night plus she know's I'm right there if she needs me. During the day when she takes her naps, I wait until she is almost asleep then I carefully put her in her crib and she will sleep for about 3 to 4 hours. So it's just like weening them. I hope this helps.

S.

Have you tried swaddling him? Good luck!
J.

hi! the longer you let baby sleep with you the harder it will be to get her to her own bed. wear a nice soft shirt one day or night and then lay it in crib. put baby to sleep on it and she will smell you. this worked for me, hope it does for you!

J.:

There are many chemicals that off gas from mattresses and it's wise to put a non-chemical protective cover over the baby's mattress so it's not breathing these gasses. It may be the gasses coming off the mattress that are distressing your baby. Be sure to get all chemicals out of your babies room, especially those plug ins that are so toxic. And never use toxic chemicals to clean the babies room. There's lots of safe cleaners out there.

Some authorities are attributing SID to mattress chemicals because babies lie on their stomach and breath these in while they sleep. Go to www.mercola.com to do a search on this data.

Hope this helps,

V. J.

Go and buy the book The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp...seriously, go but it today. It is the difference between enjoying the first 12 weeks and just surviving the first 12 weeks. It explains all the of sleeping and "colic" issues and why they happen.

Good luck!

L. H

PS...I'm a stay at home mom to 9 and 6 year old girls and have been married for 11 years.

I used to warm the bed with a heating pad before putting my kids to sleep in their crib. Also, putting your T shirt or a pillowcase from your bed in his crib might help because it will smell like you. Both of my kids did sleep in our bed part-time, but it is nice if they do feel comfortable in their own crib...especially when they are older. Mine always started in their crib and would wake up to nurse in bed with me. I would just let them stay in my bed. Eventually they slept through the night in their crib(although my 15-month-old still wakes up a couple of time per week).

Hope this helps.

K.

I put a recieving blanket across the sheet and rolled one a on each side of him. I swaddled, but not as tight (make them feel as though they are in the womb;so that they have little movment) I also used gental low music, Boc is a good one or make a tape of your voice reading, humming or talking. I would put my son in his crib when he was almost asleep and place my hand on his tummy or lags and let him drift off to sleep. using all of the above tips.
Remember where your baby has been for 9 months.
Now after 4 years we do cuddle time in his big boy bed and I read a story or he will try reading to me.
good luck and congrats.

We coslept or used a bassinet but swaddling did help her feel more secure. Also you can put a heating pad down then remove it right before laying them down, then it's warmer without using blankets.

And while this may be an unpopular response, my second baby slept better on her tummy, we just made sure her head was turned to the side. Or we used a sleep positioner to keep her on her side for the first few months. She always ended up on her stomach, no matter what we tried, and our doctor said whatever worked was fine!

Our son did the same thing and we discovered that he was cold! Wrap him up really warmly and I think you will find that he manages better!
C.

We found that sometimes the crib was cold. Think about it, the baby is most likely lying on you and then he's laid down on a cold crib sheet. We would wrap a blanket around our daughter and then lie her under the blanket when we tucked her into the crib. She was around 6-8 weeks when we transferred her from a bassinet in our room to the crib. She has ever since LOVED her crib. Do you have a brightly colored mobile he can see while in the crib?
Best of luck and congrats on your new baby boy!

Make sure he is warm enough and his room is warm enough. If you start him co sleeping now it will be really hard to break in the future sure it is fine right now while he is small but you will be amazed at how fast they grow and then it is not so comfortable so unless you have a king size bed I would break this habit. He really doesn't know he is in a crib but he does know that being next to mom is cozier and first time moms usually give in because it is their first, by the time the next ones come along we have to put them down to take care of the other kid. Congrats on being a new mom.

My daughter did the same thing, so she ended up sleeping with us for a few years. Some babies just don't like to be alone.
You can try swaddling him. For my son, we bought the velcro swaddling blankets and loved them. Also, many babies are afraid of the large open space of the crib. He may like a bassinet better or a sectioned off portion of the crib.

I'm the mom of three and none of my children slept in a crib until they were between 4-7 months old (my oldest by 4 months and my middle child by 7 months. My third will be 6 months tomorrow and he still hasn't tried the crib out yet). All my babies slept in a bassinet in my room until they were consistently sleeping through the night, were turning themselves over and could sit up on their own - all signs they were too old for the bassinet.

I did co-sleep with my oldest and she slept very well right from the beginning, but if you don't want to sleep with them until kindergarten, I wouldn't recommend it. It took us about 6 months and many night terrors to get her into her own bed in her own room.

Try something more closed-in right now. We put positioners in the bassinet for my youngest daughter and my son slept in his swing for the first 3 months of life. Eventually the crib will be an option, just not yet!