Newborn Does Not Want to Sleep Anywhere but on Me

That's pretty normal. Try a sling so you can carry her around and she gets the movement and gets used to a new world. Or a swing sometimes works too.

One of my daughters wouldn't sleep in her crib either. One night when we were coming home and she was asleep in her infant car seat, I decided to just leave her in it and she slept through the night! I'm guessing she just didn't like to be flat and wanted to be cradled. The car seat worked for a good while and eventually she began to sleep in her crib.

What a wonderful problem to have. My kids did the same thing until I realized they were cold. I put more clothes on them than I would have ever thought and they went out like lights. I had twins and all the helpers were carrying them around all the time...I knew I couldn't keep that up x2 once all the help went home. I held them as much as I could, then swaddled them in warm clothes and blankets, worked like a charm.

She is needing security. Try reading The Happiest Baby on the Block - Dr. Harvey Karp. Your baby is experiencing the 4th trimester and does not know how to soothe herself - she needs to be held. I too like the suggestion of the sling. I used the Moby Wrap. This allowed me to get work down around the house, while still holding and comforting the baby. You might also try swaddling her before laying her in the crib or bassinet. Happiest Baby on the Block also teaches the 5 S method - Swaddling, Side holding, Shhhh-ing, Swinging, Sucking. These saved my life in the first few weeks of new motherhood. Relax - you and your baby will find a way together. Congrats!!

Google 4th trimester. That is where your baby is. She wants/needs/craves the comforts of the womb. Your heartbeat, your voice, you feeding her is all she knows right now and all she has to comfort her and provide her security as she begins to get accustom to this big new world. Try swaddling her as you will see suggested in the 4th trimester info. Also, invest in a mei tai, moby wrap or mayawrap.

You might also invest in a crib wedge (very inexpensive) and see if that helps too.

Maybe co-sleeping is the answer...both of my daughters are co-sleeping with their sons....one is 6 months old one is 2.5 years old. They both swear by it!! In fact our oldest daughter just wrote on blog on why she and her husband practice co-sleeping today!!! http://codenamemama.com/2009/09/16/roll-over-im-crowded/
I have never heard of the term "4th trimester" but what a great way of describing the first few months of an infants life!!! The swaddling is a wonderful idea, they have cooler weight fabric available for summer infants...and my youngest grandson was always the most comfortable at night when he was tightly swaddled.They also both use the moby wrap and swear by it.
Congratulations on your new little bundle of joy!!

Its the fourth trimester and I watched the happiest baby on the block and it was a life saver :) Try a snuggie (I think thats what its called?) A wombie something like that. Try a white noise machine I seen a teddy bear in wal mart. Congrates on the new baby and she will get used to sleeping somewhere else, but I know until mine did the snuggie worked wonders for my youngest :)

my son did this as well. Its exhausting because people tell u to sleep when the baby sleeps but how can u when the baby is sleeping on you. For us this lasted about two weeks before he would sleep ok in his crib. But think how big that crib is to a newborn who is use to being in a tight space, and some babies hate to be swaddled (i know my son did. summer babies don't always find swaddling cozy as it is hot) but after the first week we tried having him sleep in his infant seat (it vibrated and played music which kept him asleep. I parked it next to my bed so I could take a little nap too. it worked really well

My baby is almost 10 weeks, and he was like that at first. Most nights, he just ended up sleeping on my chest, so we could both get a bit of sleep. I'm not sure when it happened, but every once in a while, I tried putting him in his cradle (it's right next to the bed, so it's really easy), and he slept there more and more. He started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks. It might be a bit harder to sleep now, but she just needs the comfort of Mom right now, and to know that you are there when she needs you. She'll learn when she's ready. Good luck, and Congratulations!

Swaddling, baby sling, and enjoy! :) After roughly 9 months of perpetual swaddling and snuggling, it is a bit of a shock for a newborn to be asked to sleep or even to relax in an uncomfortable position with unfamiliar smells and sounds away from mommy's body heat. If you can get her to rest swaddled, keep a body-warmed spit cloth near her head. I used to keep one under us when nursing in bed and then transfer it so my boys could still smell mommy and the cloth under their faces was warm (they slept on their sides and the cool sheets would wake them up). She will get used to it, but for now it is a difficult adjustment for her to make. Enjoy your lovely baby! :)

God bless you T., it sounds like your first baby. What do you think you can do with her, put her down when you are finished? She is less that one week old, you stated? Sorry but, she needs you all the time, and I mean all the time.

Technically she is still needs your heartbeat to calm her. But since you are breastfeeding, she needs to be on your chest anyhow. (good for you for breastfeeding, that in itself is a wonderful gift to give her)

Besides that, why would you want to put her down? Hold her, let her sleep on you.... she is going to sleep, isn't that all that should matter.

Enjoy her, don't put her in a crib at 1 week old, and walk away. You carried her for 9 months, I know you can do it for at least 2 more. At around 2-3 months she will be more independent, you'll see.

But for now just let her be "attached" to you. These are the moments you'll never forget. The PG days should already be hazing in the fog. The first weeks home are the best, don't miss a moment, because you won't ever forget them, trust me

Mom of 5 healthy, well rounded children

Oh, they are only that little for a quick minute...try to enjoy it...the sleeping on you doesn't last that long at all!

Swaddling is your best bet! Congrats on the new baby!

Are you swaddling her? It can go a long way to save your sanity and encourage her to sleep, I loved the Kiddopotamus (sp?) pre-made kind you get from Babies R Us. She might feel a little overwhelmed in the crib too, it's huge and newborns like to feel cozy, try letting her sleep in a pack n play or bassinet, one warning with letting her sleep in the swing is that may be the only place she'll sleep for the next 4 months. Hang in there cause you're both getting used to her being out in the world and just remember you can't spoil a newborn. She'll probably adjust after a couple weeks.

It's normal. You can't spoil a newborn! Sling? Swaddle? Burping before sleeping?

My son started letting me put him down to sleep - some of the time - when he was about two and a half weeks old. I'm not a fan of cosleeping, but I don't know how to avoid it in the first couple of weeks of your baby's life. But don't worry, it doesn't last terribly long.

Other tricks to try (I doubt they'll work yet, but for future reference), swaddling is great. Also, when your put your daughter down in her crib, keep your arms around her for a couple of minutes, holding her in crib. This will help her to fall back to sleep after that little jolt of awake from being put down. Good luck. The first 2 months are the hardest - and you'll miss them the most when they're gone.

Swaddling can so wonders to help a baby feel cozy and secure when you put them down. It is okay to put them down for a bit.

Oh also a swing is a wonderful magical thing that will help sooth them and allow them to sleep a bit longer at nap times.

The first few weeks seem like round the clock feeding, burping, diapering, repeat repeat repeat...the baby will learn to sleep longer and longer as the weeks pass. Right now she needs to feel snuggly and comforted.

It is tough but it will get better...I went three days with no sleep with my first one and I am thinking 4 or 5 without a shower...you can put her down for a little while but then they want to be right back with you. It is normal right now, but will get better.

This is completely normal for many newborns, and some babies need lots of contact for their first three months. Some babies can be put into a crib right away, but many can't.

The Happiest Baby on the Block (available as book and video) is a great and sensible resource to help you understand your baby's needs, and gives expert tips and techniques for creating the best possible experience for both of you. The author, Dr. Harvey Karp, calls the first 3 months the Fourth Trimester, and explains why babies that young don't take to schedules.

He recommends swaddling, white noise and vigorous rocking/jogging to help imitate the conditions your little girl is used to. Getting a comfortable sling so you can wear her during the day is also extremely helpful for lots of moms. A baby who gets enough sleep is calmer, eats better, and ironically enough, sleeps better. An overtired baby has trouble falling and staying asleep.

I hope you'll relax into letting your experience with your baby simply be what it is, a unique journey unlike anything else you've experienced. It will go so fast, and your memories can be so precious. Congratulations!

I'm just jealous. Enjoy her!

Hi T.! I loved that bonding time with my children! The fact that hearing your heartbeat brings her comfort is beautiful! My husband and I bought a Snuggle Nest and our newborns slept in that in our bed. I liked it because it has the heavy plastic sides so that you can't roll over on the baby and I loved being able to open my eyes and see their face, and hear them breathe. Good luck and enjoy this precious time! It doesn't last long.

I'm sorry, if I'm being redundant with my answer. I swaddled my son. I usually held him, until he went to sleep. He seemed to sleep much heavier swaddled, so I could put him down without waking him. You can hold her plenty at other times during the day and she will feel just as loved and nurtured. Co-sleeping is not necessary for this. As long as you love on her lots, she will be great! We never co slept, for many reasons. (not that I see anything wrong with it, we just didn't want to!)

Do not do this, you will be sorry later, put her in bed, turn down the lights, put some music low in the background and leave. If she starts crying you will hear her but getting her used to having someone hold her so she can sleep will be a very big problem the more it goes on.

I can tell you that this does not pass quickly. My sister in law is still sleeping with her son and he is going into the third grade. Read Baby Wise. They must learn to put themselves to sleep or you will be exhausted and give up nursing. It is possible to nurse your baby and have healthy boundaries.
I nursed my three children for 18 months for the first two and 2 yrs for the third and I put them in their bed straight from the hospital and they were very happy and secure because they learned how to sleep on their own.
Swaddle get white noise whatever but start now or it goes on forever.

T.,

I agree wholeheartedly with Rita W. I co-slept with both of my girls until they were around 2-ish, and it worked very well for us and for nursing easily at night. Just make sure if you try it, you do so safely.

That being said, I also have a friend who could NOT co-sleep, and she found that her son slept best and longest, when she left him in his swing. She felt tons of guilt, but her pediatrician let her off the hook.

Some babies sleep well when you swaddle them tight, or put them on their side. . .

You're only a week into it. Do some experimentation, and see what works best for you.

Congratulations and best wishes!
M.

P.S. When it comes to baby carriers, I LOVE my Ergo!! I carry my 4-year-old in it frequently, and can still carry my 6-year old in it, in a pinch. Check out www.myfavoritebabycarrier.com. Jane offers a 90-day money back guarantee, just in case.

This is very normal! How can you really expect anything else, she has slept INSIDE of you for months, so feeling you close and hearing your heartbeat is a huge comfort adjusting to earth life! My 3rd is now a month old and she is sleeping on my lap as I write this. I know it can be frustrating because if feels like you can't do anything. My advice is to accept this, it's for a very short time when you look at it in perspective to the rest of your life. Read, rest, and enjoy your cuddles while you can. Believe me, you'll look back and won't believe how fast she grew out of the newborn phase and long for those snuggles again. If there's stuff you need to take care of I highly recommend putting her in a baby björn, the kind that has lower back support. I've used mine with all 3 and it is a total lifesaver. And congrats on your little bundle!

my second ( a girl ) did that for about a month. I decided she needed to learn to sleep in her crib after that..i was exausted too. We use a CIO method and lay them down and if they cry past 10-15 mins or after about ten mins the cry gets really angery we go get them. Cuddles for a few mins and put them back. Usually after 10-15 mins they are calm and fall asleep. With my first I thought this was crule and mean. With my second its the only way she will get any rest and I wont become a grouchy monster. She has a white noise playing during sleep times. Good luck hope this helps you.

My son was the exact same way. Finally I had a friend give me a blanket that had some stretch to it so it swaddled nicely for a while. But then I got a Woombie. I loved it!!! It still allows your baby to move and wiggle, but not so much that she wakes up. At age 5 months he wanted to start sleeping without it, and so we swaddle weened which I thought would be hard with the woombie but it wasn't. I could still do the one arm out at a time method.
www.thewoombie.com
I got mine on ebay but I went to their website to find out sizing and seeing all the colors.
M.
largebummies.blogspot.com

VERY normal! I have heard that newborns are believed to still feel like they are "part of you" for awhile after birth. So they your smell, feel, and to hear your heart beat. Try using a blanket on you for awhile and when you lay your baby down put it near her so she can smell you. Of course far enough away that it doesnt pose a danger. And like some other posters have said, enjoy it for awhile! It doesnt last, and there's nothing sweeter then that little bundle snuggled on you. Of course you need minutes to yourself, but honestly it does pass soon. Enjoy your new baby :)

Keep up the breastfeeding! Your chest is warm, make her crib sheet warm too, otherwise once you set them down the cool sheet shocks them and wakes them up. Put a heating pad on her crib sheet while you nurse then REMOVE it completely from the crib before laying her down. It will feel warm just like your chest. ALSO, don't let her sleep too long while nursing, once she's done EATING, not sucking, lay her down. EASIER to do all this now than once it's a pattern. Good luck, you can do it. If you're not sure when she's done eating and just sucking talk to a lactation consultant at your hospital or find a LLL group,t hey're amazing group of women, will be helpful w/many issues.

She's only a week old. Enjoy it and cuddle her as much as possible. In time it will pass and then they grow too big to cuddle anymore. They get older and tell you to quit kissing them because you're embarrassing them in front of their friends. Ha Ha Ha! Enjoy her while she's young. Remember she is new to this world and needs all the comfort she can get. Good Luck.

I know exactly what you are going through; my daughter was the same way! She'd nap fine during the day, but at night, she would not go to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time unless she was in bed next to me and only if I didn't move her after she nursed. My son had issues with sleeping for the first week or two as well; we didn't have a crib, we had a pack and play and it was too big ... remember, newborns are used to being in a tight space. Try buying a little bassinet (like http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3997259) ... your daughter might feel more secured in a smaller space and you can keep it right by your bed. Good luck!

My daughter is 10 days old and I am having a hard time adjusting to waking up at night. I'm breastfeeding and my SO has been letting me go to sleep before he does and he gets her to sleep and puts her in the bassinet. The first feeding of the night, he gets her up and wakes me to feed then puts her back down..usually around 1 or 2 am. The 2nd feeding, I wake up so he can sleep...unfortunately I am not as good getting her to sleep in the bassinet..she wakes up when I lay her down and I'm so sleepy I can't stay awake until she falls back asleep. So I've been letting her fall asleep while she's nursing and then just keep her in the bed with us. He is kind of weary of this b/c of safety reasons but I use the boppy pillow as a barrier between us and her and last night she slept for almost 4 hours before waking up to eat. I think whatever works best for you and your baby is fine. I know I run the risk of spoiling her and she may not want to sleep alone but right now...I'm doing what works for me and her.

Maybe try a swing. The movement may help her get used to sleeping without the heat and heartbeat of Mommy. You can then move on to the bassinette or crib once you get her used to that. When you move her to her crib, you may have to pat or rub her back for awhile til she returns to sleep. Also sometimes "white noise" helps, like a hair dryer or fan.

You might want to discuss with the pediatrician if she has reflux. While she is still very young, detecting and diagnosing early will help everybody. Babies with reflux will fall asleep and the burning of the acid coming up into their esophagus will wake them up after a short time. We put our baby on medicine around one month old...and I feel we waited two weeks too long to discuss with the doctor.

You could also try putting her down at an angle to sleep in case it is reflux. We had a bassinet that attached to the pack-in-play, which worked wonders. The bouncy seat was also great.

Regardless, worth a conversation with your pediatrician.

I slept with my daughter, in the recliner, for almost 3 weeks after she was born and I used the swing to put her to sleep after that. At 2 months I tried her crib and she slept half the night, but after a few days she was happily sleeping in her crib. That swing saved my sanity! If you don't already have one, get one.

Sorry if I'm repeating anyone else, but have you tried swaddling? My babies loved being swaddled - it seemed to calm them after breastfeeding them. I was given the solana swaddle wrap (www.solanababywear.com) with my last daughter (summer baby in AZ). Worked great because she didn't get too hot. Enjoy the cuddling with your newborn though - it's the best!

This was the case with both my boys. It was the only way they would sleep. Would start crying as soon as they weren't being held. Out of survival, I started feeding them sidelying in my bed and would fall asleep with them next to me. They would wake me up when they were hungry, we'd flip and do it again. This is how I got sleep the first few months. Doing this does NOT mean you will be sleeping with them at 3. You have at least 6 months (probably more) to wean them gradually of your bed without them even realizing it. At around 4 months, I would start putting them in their own crib if I woke up between feedings and they were sleeping solidly. They would then wake up a little later and cry to feed and I would bring them back into my bed to feed and repeat the process. Gradually, as they fed less frequently, they were in my bed less and less until not at all. They were also getting used to their crib gradually and unknowingly. The key will be weaning them of frequent feedings, but I do not recommend cry-it-out or baby wise. They are learning at a very innate level whether you are there for them; whether you come when they cry/need you. I can't see how it is valuable for their fist lesson in life to learn that mommy doesn't come when I need her. Makes me sad that people rationalize this one. My boys are now 17 months and 3. They both sleep through the nights in their own beds. You would never know that I fully co-slept with each of them for my sanity.

Let her! This doesn't last long, my daughter did it for about a month. If it doesn't bother you (I know you are exhausted), do it. You will look back in 3 months and say "that didn't last very long."

My baby is now 21 months old, and even though he has his own bedm, he still ends up in mine most mornings. Your baby is so young and new and you have to remember that everything surrounding her is very new, overwhelming and sometimes even frightful. You are the first voice she's ever heard and she's listened to her heartbeat since she could hear. Sorry to say momma but especially as young as she is this comes with the territory. And trust me you will still be incredibly tired once you return to work whether she co-sleeps with you or sleeps in a crib in a nursery.

Give her a break! She is only one week old way to yong to have any type of real sleep pattern! Enjoy this time as it will not last long. Sleep in you recliner while she is sleeping on you. In a few weeks (I stress FEW) you can start to train her to sleep elsewhere.

Congrats!