Hello Stay at home parents!!!
I am extremely excited to say that my Husband has accepted a new position in the Williamsburg VA area and we will be moving there end of September begginning of October. I am so happy because I will finally be able to stay at home with my LO's, however I have no idea how to be a SAHM.
I have a 3 year old girl and a 5 month old girl and right now I get to spend hectic evenings and weekends with them :) ( the life of a working mom). I am so excited to be able to spend such quality time with them and be able to keep my house in some semblance of order lol. I guess my question is more of a plea for advice from those in the know.
How do those of you that are at home with the kids spend your days? Are there special things in the Williamsburg area that we can be a part of? I know I need to come up with a schedule to keep things calm for both of the girls, but to be honest that is the oposite of my personality so the more advice the better!! Thanks so much for helping me through this transition!
K.
Have you watched the movie Groundhog Day? Lol
My advice is to have a loose schedule, Plans B and C in place, then roll with that!
Good luck!
How exciting is that!! I became a SAHM when I moved to a new state too. My biggest challenge was meeting new people, so I joined a MOPS group. I would recommend researching your area in
advance. Find a playgroup, little gym, etc...but I would make sure I didn't over- schedule my life...My husband jokes sometimes that I'm a "Never at home mom." It's great to be involved, have social time- it's great for the kids and you...but I became so overly involved and busy- we never had any down or mommy/ kids alone time. Spend a day at the park with friends, a day at the library with just you and your kids- enjoy a fun day at home...I'm sure whatever you do, you'll have fun. They teach us more than we could ever teach them:)
Yay for you!! What a great opportunity for you to spend more time with your girls! My best advice is to just enjoy the ride. Over time you may find that a schedule is helpful as it gives some structure to a very unstructured job. I try to get everything done that I can, especially with errands, so that on the weekends hubby and I are both free to just enjoy the weekend. I've been a SAHM now for 8 months and I've gradually changed how I've done things, but it's happened real gradually. At first, don't be surprised if you're just tired! I spent a good week just doing the bare minimum and resting because I'd been running a marathon for the prior 4 months. You'll have days where you want your house spotless and days where you couldn't care less. Try to find out from hubby what he expects from you at the end of the day. Mine doesn't care that much if dinner is on the table, but he likes when the dishes are done. It'll be a shift in household duties since you're home all day. Try to work in time for yourself. On Sundays I usually get an hour to even just sit in the tub and read without a child in the tub with me or standing just outside of it. It's the little things. At first, as much as I craved time with my son, I was almost annoyed after spending 24/7 with him. I got over that with time. He's like my other half now :P Have fun!
Look for a play group and get the older one in a few classes (tumbling, dance, etc).
We try to go out and do things 4-5 days a week, with down days for shopping, housework, etc. on the occasion when we don't leave the house, I make sure we go outside twice, even taking walks in the ran.
You are going to love it!! Just be aware that it is much harder than you think.
Definitely have a routine and things scheduled to flesh out your week but also be spontaneous too and realize schedules can and should be flexible.
We did a ton:
*gymboree
*my gym
*kindermisuik and music together
*library story times
*playgrounds
*playgroups-these are are a lot of fun. Esp the happy hour ones and the mimosa brunchs :-)
*Since you are new you should definitely look into a moms or mops club. If you don't like the first try another until you get a right fit. You will meet lots of people and get included in regularly scheduled events that will help you learn the city and great places for kids.
some advice: do NOT expect a perfect house. I worried too much about this and very much regret it. I have a pretty clean house now but I miss my boys so much when they are in school. Would give anything for a floor full of Thomas Trains and other toys that used to aggravate me. Now they only play with video games and sports. So do what you can do but then let it go. It will just get messy again anyhow.
Make sure to carve some time out every week for yourself. I wish that I would have done more of this and think it would have made me a better mother. If I had it to do again I would even find a sitter for a morning a week just so I always knew that I would have some time and be able to schedule appts and errands. If you can't swing this have your DH agree to a fixed time. Saturday morning or an evening or whatever. It is not a luxury but a necessity.
Create a schedule, even if it goes against the grain. This has been my saving grace. Look into local activities like story time at the library, and then pencil into your calendar and MAKE yourself go! Try to get out of the house at least twice a week, and since you're moving, you'll need to make new friends - these activities don't only get you out of the house, but they also help you meet other moms.
And make sure you schedule some "you" time, too, and get Hubby on board if possible. You need to maintain your own interests.
Good luck.
K.,
GOOD LUCK and find the humor in things :) You've got great advice! I amslo second joining a local MOPS group. It is religious based but you do not have to be to join. www.mops.org Its a great way to meet other moms and get adivie lcially and chat with an adult and have playdates and go on field trips etc.
pammy
go to yahoogroups.com and search for sahm williamsburg playgroups and then look for the one that looks best. that's what i did when my kids were young. we had playdates and it was a great way to meet new riends that have kids your age. I'm in chesapeake mysel but we go to williamsburg or busch gardens and water country days. your little ones are still a bit to young to enjoy those parks yet but maybe your hubby and you could go for a day. good luck!
before kids I used to wonder what I would do all day. In fact I remember cleaning out closets before baby came and actually left one or two undone because I wanted to leave my self something to do while I was home all day with baby. Ha ha ha, that closet did not get touched for 8 months!
I'm all for loose schedules. But some people thrive on structure. Not me. My kids enjoy playing with each-other and we have a large house and yard so I don't always feel the need to leave the house. I don't worry much about finding things to do. Honestly boredom and inactivity have simply not been a problem . SAH parenting is busier than you might think. Especially if you are cleaning your own house and cooking your own food.
I keep it pretty loose but there is some structure to frame things in. We do a once a week mid week bible study with a kids program so i get some adult time and it gives me a little homework so that I am actively involved in learning.
I do my house cleaning after breakfast from 8-10. My kids play on their own well and on the days they don't they watch some cartoons. From 10-12 I engage them in activities or we do our shopping (mine love to paint, color, play dough, trampoline, swing...).
I take them out to eat once a week, they enjoy it and it can buy me an extra hour of shopping time from 1-2.
In the summers we go to the park once a week as a family. On short days I take them to the park or a play date once or twice in the late afternoon.
I'm a healthy from scratch cook so I spend a lot of time shopping, chopping, cooking, and cleaning. My kids play near by. I'm okay with not interacting with them at all times. They are learning that adults have to work to keep up a house and family. I like modeling that to them. And I'm always there even if I just take 5 minutes here, and two minutes there to play, kiss boo boos, cuddle or teach them something.
