New Mom - Seeking Advice - Matthews,NC

This will definately pass. I used to carry my daugher around in a carrier, but she didn't have much of an issue playing on her own. I do know people that have been where you're at and most of the responses on here have great suggestions. Depends on what kind of parenting you follow...attachment parenting? You'll carry her around all the time, not let her cry, etc..that is my rule of thumb so my only advice in the other direction would be what some of the others have said, to let her cry a little and she'll get used to it. Music, rockers, toys...

ERGO baby carrier! Though they are on the expensive side it is by far the best baby carrier out there. Wear you baby and you can get things done around the house. She will go through this phase more than once unfortunately so the investment in a good carrier is vital! It is totally normal for her age to be clingy right now.

Hi V.,
Congrats on being a new Mom!
Babies are very sensitive and can be spooked by things we are not aware of. I feel it's best to trust her experience and hold her as much as she needs until she calms down, which may be months. Soemtimes things like this seem to get worse if we are not sensitive to them and we all want our children to grow up feeling secure. Babies read their parents so it's important for you to feel calm and secure also. If something is bothering you, please talk it out with a friend or counselor. Take a few deep breaths and relax, this helps alot!
L.

I used my stroller. I would put him in it and take in every room I was in & if he fussed then rock it a little & he was fine. However I never picked him up everytime he cried, I would just talk to him & check his diaper, some crying is good for their lungs and helps them breath better when they are a little stuffy. See if this helps & makes you a little more comfortable.
Also I had a very strict schedule for mine & they were the best babies & didn't cry unless something was wrong.

Mother of 2

I work from home and keep my 4-month old daughter as well. I have experienced some of the same issues. I have found that if I need to get things done having her in the room with me helps because she can see me, even if I'm on the laptop working. Even still, I find it hard to get things done for any length of time because it isn't long before she's fussing.

While I am sure a carrier would be a good idea sometimes, I am a firm believer in allowing the child to learn to be independent (within reason of course) even at this young of an age. Of course, always go to her to soothe her and let her know you are there, but let her learn to soothe and entertain herself with toys, mirrors, etc. Sing and talk to her so she can hear your voice while sitting near her.

It is possible that she is bored. Babies at this age have about a 15-20 minute attention span, so she might just need something to engage her. I know many parents think television is bad for kids this age, but I used to put on a Baby Einstein video for my first daughter starting at about 5-mos old, and that half hour allowed me to fold the laundry, make dinner, answer a few emails, etc. Plus, she loved the colors and movement and the music was relaxing to us both. Also a change of scenery might help too. A walk outside (once it warms up if you live in a cold area), a ride in the car, a walk around the mall or a trip to the grocery store might help. As a new mom, your hours can easily turn into days, months and you need the change of scenery as much as your baby does!

It is so easy to get overwhelmed as a new mom (or even as a second-time mom, like me). As she gets older, she will require more and more of your attention. My best advice (which I wish I would have followed when I was a new mom) is to let the house go, let Dad make dinner or order take out and enjoy every minute you get with your baby. I went back to work after my first and now I work at home so I can be here for my second baby. It is hard and really frustrating at times when you feel like nothing you can do will appease them, but the first year goes by so fast and before you know it they are turning three and you'll find yourself dealing with a whole different animal!!!

Its just a stage they go through. My son had horrible colic, and I held him so much in the first four months of his life, I developed bursitis in my shoulder. lol
He still wanted to be held quite a bit until he got mobile- then it finally started to get better. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot you can do if they insist on being held. The good part is that you will have some very toned arms as a result. :)

Welcome to the wonderful world of mommyhood. There are a few things that are very important at this age. The first is for the baby. It is a perfect time to introduce a security blanket or toy. Your baby will not latch to it right away but make sure you have it with you all the time and have it when she cries. This will help her to learn to sooth herself with the security item when you are not there. The other thing is for you. I encourage all moms to invest in a child development book. You can pick one up at a used book store. Get one used for college level child development. This will save your sanity many times throughout the years as you will know what are realistic expectations. For example you cannot tell a four year old to clean their room and expect them to do it. They need guidance and your help.
I know it is hard time when they want to be with you all the time. Try to remember it is normal. They need your security now. They have just learned how to be afraid. Enjoy her as much as you can. Soon this will pass and she will not want you to hold her.

Hi V. -
Is your daughter teething? If not, has there been a schedule change? And finally, and this is the most difficult, are you worried about something that she is trying to comfort you about?
I am just a mom, but I remember my daughter doing the same thing about that same time. About that time I thought she noticed the world past her living room play area. Scary stuff at five months.
It my be just a phase but it is still important that your child know you are there for them. Confidence comes from knowing you are there for them!

Have you held her allot when she was born? It is natural to do that. But that is probably why she wants you to hold her. Some crying won't hurt her. She has learn that you will come to her everytime. Now I realize they need their diaper changed and to be fed. But when you get all that done. Hold them for awhile. Then lay them down or put them in a swing or walker. Or get a playpin near were you are. So that the baby will see you. Let them cry for a spell. Then when you are ready go to them. I hope I helped

I agree with everyone, let her cry a little while and make sure she is wher she can see you. I used one of the zip n go hip carriers and loved it, it was much easier than a traditional front carrier and I could still get things done with her on my hip. Be patient, this too shall pass!

Hey, I have gone through this with three boys. It sounds like good advice the other moms are giving. Especially letting her sit where she is and talking to her. I do not agree though with coming back to play with her after two minutes. If she is crying after maybe 5 minutes max then go to her, pick her up, reasure her you are still there, and then go back to working. Working in the same room is always a good idea so she can see you and hear you. I did at one point have to get a front pack and wear my oldest for a while. I still had both hands that way. I especially did that when grocery shopping so I never had my back to him or a stranger would not walk up and touch him without my permission. Don't dispair, it will pass. It may take a while, but separation anxiety, and teething will make these little ones very cranky. If you cannot be in the same room...try getting a two way baby monitor so you can hear her, but she can also hear you responding to her. Keep your cool, she will attack any insecurities...babies smell fear. :) Good luck!

It is called separatin anxiety and it is normal. She thinks when you are out of sight you are gone forever. Try and do chores in the same room where she can watch you. If that is not possible, talk to her when y9u leave the room and while you are gone. Your voice should reassure her some. It will get better. Good luck.

V.,

You may have to let her cry. She is going to have to get used to the fact that you cannot not hold her all the time. If you keep giving in and holding her she is going to always expect it. I'm sure you have a lot to do.

Teething???? My daughter got her first two teeth when she was exactly 5 months....Also, my son (who is currently 9 months) gets just that way when he is teething, which is NOW! I'm feeling your pain!

Hi V.

I know with both of mine they went through phases of needing to be held more. The other times they "never' wanted down is when they were feeling bad or had an ear infection.
Good Luck to you.
J.

I agree, stiff upper lip momma, you are about to hear some screams... you are going to have to let her cry for at least a few minutes, or she will continue to cry every time you aren't around. And I totally agree with the working in the same room, she will see you and hear you, talk to her as you work, DON'T cave in and pick her up. I know it's hard, but well, being a Mommy isn't always easy LOL. :)

When my daughter (now 18 months) was that age she did the same thing. I'd just have to put her in her exersaucer and let her whine while I vacuumed or took a shower. I made sure to do that every day, just to make her entertain herself. I also had to make sure I was doing something noisy (shower/vacuum) so I didn't have to hear the whining. It really only lasted a few weeks. It's their way of seeing how you respond to them, and also them dealing with seperation anxiety. It will get better!!!!

Sounds like you are having the same problem i am and my daughter is also 5 months. Our dr reccomended this wait 2 minutes before you go to her. She knows immediately that you coming as soon as she cries. So shes not gonna give anything else a chance. Wait 2 minutes go to her play for a minute calm her down then leave. Let he know that your close by but not gonna drop everything and run to her. Good luck And if you need to talk sometime send me a message ive done this twice before.