I am posting this to just get some opinions from the outside. I recently just got divorced during this process I knew I was going to have to move to a home more affordable, my sons daycare provider offered to rent me her home which daycare takes place during the day downstairs, she also runs another daycare at her home downstairs as well so two daycares.
I thought since it was so affordable it would be a good idea and I would be at work when daycare took place so it wouldn't really affect me too much. Then she was looking for a full time employee...long story short I quit my job to work from her, working from my home I'm renting from her and thought it would be great, getting to spend all day with my son every day who is 10 months and then getting to take my daughter to and from school. I felt very blessed to get this opportunity. I'm going back to school in January as well so I thought this would be perfect.
It's been three months now and I'm not so happy anymore and things are changing. I don't get to take my daughter to and from school everyday she has another employee do that occasionally if she has me opening the daycare that day, she's moved me to the other daycare two days a week, I'm working 11 hour days with no break, but in return I may get a day off during the week or a short day, so I don't know if I can complain about that, sometimes I have nine kids by myself which is very overwhelming, and I'm figuring out that childcare just may not be my field for now. I thought it would be great but things have changed and I'm just so confused on what to do. Should I stick it out till I'm done with school or get another job? I have great experience in administration, etc. that is my field so this was a drastic change. I would just like some advice if anyone has any. Thanks.
Thank you all so much for your responses! My daughter loved this arrangement at first until I couldn't take her back and forth to school every day. I think the Indiana law states 1 person for 4 infants and then I'm not sure how the ratios work adding 2years old plus kids to that, she's licensed to have 12 at one time and it is a Preschool as well at least thats what it's titled as. Everything you all responded as were things going through my mind so thank you all so much, I will let you know how it ends up!
I don't have much advise for you except find out what the state mandates are for # of children per caretaker. 9 seems like a lot for a non-school situation.
This is one you will have to decide for yourself but I would get a new job. Yes explain to her how you feel but not everyone is cut out to be a child care provider. I would think with nine kids there should be two helpers. As much as I love kids nine is about five to many.
I think in some ways she may have lead you on. Taking care of your child is nothing like taking care of other people's kids. I worked in childcare for about six year while I was in college. It's hard, I know.
One thing that stood out to me, is that you said sometimes you have 9 kids all by yourself. How old are the kids? Because that could go against the state law for daycares. I know if you are working with toddlers (18 months-3 years) the ratio has to be one adult to 7 kids and even that is overwhelming.
How much longer will you be in school?
I personally would do what is right for you and your family. Granted you get to spend quite a bit of time with your son, but maybe not so much with your daughter.
Is the daycare just short staffed, and that's why you work long days and don't get a break? I would talk to your boss about your concerns. But if you are really feeling unhappy then I would say find something that you are more comfortable doing. Which also might mean you'll have to find a new place to live.
i think that you should keep doing what your doing and maybe when your done with school you will find a better job if you want that
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It sounds like you are being "used" by your boss and landlord. Granted whenever you work in the same place you live there will be some inconveniences but 11 hour days without a break are not even legal and you should check into the ratio for kids to day care providers that is allowed by law. It sounds like this is a pretty big daycare, is she accredited, if so she needs to follow the laws and regardless she needs to provide you with breaks and back up. I am pretty sure that the law requires at least 2 day care providers to be present regardless of the amount of children. Sit down and talk with her, tell her you want to be your son's daycare provider and do not want to be switched around to other places, also tell her that you would like to take your daughter to the bus stop every day. Landlord's can't just kick you out of a place because you quit working for them but it could probably be a good situation if you are willing to stand up for yourself and she is willing to work with you.
Everyone needs some time away from work. You essentially live there. I know this from growing up in the same situation. My Dad's heating and cooling business was attached to our home. We would have customers at all hours wanting us to help them. His solution was to find us a place in the country where we could go on weekends to get away from it all. I love kids too, but what you are describing sounds like too many at one time. How do your kids feel? The school-aged one should have some input too. Would a reduction in hours make a difference? If so, then could you talk to the day care provider to see if that could be done? It sounds like you are working more than a 40 hour work week, which is a lot to expect.
The most important thing is that you are A. able to afford to support yourself and you children, and B. that you feel you are getting the most out of the time you get to spend with them. It doesn't sound like you are really happy working at the daycare, and since it isn't in your field it would be perfectly reasonable for you to look for a job that is more in line with what you trained to do. As long as you don't make it personal when you quit the daycare and you are honest with the woman that you'd be happier in a 9-5 type job, then you should be able to salvage the rental situation since she's still going to be getting rent from a space she wasn't making money on before. Just make sure that you tell her it's the type of work you're unhappy with, not working for her.
The downside is that you may not be able to find a job that will allow you to take your daughter to school, but if you are able to keep things cordial with your daycare provider this really isn't an huge issue. You'll still have the convenience of having a daycare right downstairs, and the time you do get to spend with your kids you'll be able to focus just on your kids.
I'd be looking for a new job. It served it's purpose during the transition after your divorce, but it just isn't working out as well as you'd hoped, and there's nothing wrong with that. Like you said, things change.
The big factor is whether or not you still want her to watch your son. Make sure you let her know that you appreciate everything she's done to help you out, but that you've realized that that just isn't your cup of tea, and you still want her to watch your son, so she must be doing a good job - but it just didn't turn out to be what you want to do.
She could get huffy and want to kick you out. OR she could ask you what it would take to keep you around. A lot of it would depend on how you approach it with her. Just in case she's likely to get a little huffy, wait until you have the job - tell them you'll start after you give 2 weeks notice to your current employer.
Just a few thoughts, for what it's worth....and good luck!
I feel for you. You were in a tough situation going through drastic changes. At the time you made the decision that felt right and seemed to offer the best opportunity to be the mom you wanted to be. Now that the dust is starting to clear things are looking diffrent. If you are not happy being an employee at the daycare you need to leave. The children who attend the daycare will sense this and that is not fair. I think this is one of those hard situations where you have to be honest with this women. Explain that you thought you could do this and wanted to do this but its just not what you expected. Give her plenty of time to hire a replacement. Expect her to have hard feelings. Expect her to ask you to move. Be prepared for this. I know you mentioned sticking it out until you finish school. That is a long time to be stuck doing a job that you don't like. Isn't is like being stuck in a marriage that makes you unhappy and saying well once the kids are grown up. Good Luck.
I just wanted to tell you that the legal limit for childcare is no more than 6 children per 1 provider so if she has you watching more than that it is not right.
I'm in the process of opening a preschool. We are opening a program for children 3-5 years old. For children in this age group, it is illegal to have more than 6 children under the care of one adult. I think that the number of children to caregiver is lower for children younger than 3. If something were to happen to one of the children under your solo care, or if a parent reported this, there could be huge problems. I would demand more support, as that would probably relieve some of your stress, or quit your job and find something more suited to your talents.
Talk to her. Just tell her that while you really appreciate the opportunities that she's given yall, you're not sure that daycare is the right field for you. If she's a professional, she'd want all her clients in the best of care & while you're probably a wonderful mama, that doesn't mean that you're the best one for handling 9 kids like that.
You have to make the decision on what to do, no one can make it for you. What is best for me may not be best for you. I can tell you that if you are happy, your kids will be happy. If you are miserable, so will your kids. How you feel will affect your interactions with your kids. You can't help it. Life is too short to be miserable. So do something that makes you happy. If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! It will good for your kids to see that happiness is also important.
Good luck on your decision!
R.
