Our 14-month old son's day care closed and we are transitioning him to a new day care. He went to the last day care since he was 3 months old, so he never experienced separation anxiety during drop-off. At the new place we knew this would probably be an issue given his age so to transition, we brought him for 2 days for 2 hours before he started full time. That went very well. Last week he started full-time and had a very good week. He cried a little bit when we left but was able to be distracted quickly and the teacher said he enjoyed his day.
This week has been horrible. For the past 3 days he has screamed and cried inconsolably for over 20 minutes when either I or his dad have left (I stayed in another room where he couldn't see me this morning and he cried this way for about 30 minutes). There are a few things that could be contributing: we all had the stomach flu this past weekend and he is cutting a molar (on and off).
Is this a usual thing? Has anyone else ever experienced this, with such a dramatic change in behavior? Any suggestions on how to help him transition? I'm finding it difficult because the logistical setup is so different. In the last daycare, there was always a teacher who would come welcome him at drop-off and the floor plan was more open so I could spend a few minutes saying good bye. In this new one, there are always different teachers when we arrive, no one really comes to welcome him unless I ask them, and I see all of the other parents saying good bye and just handing their child over the gate into the room.
Hi everyone, thanks so much for your responses. It helped just to feel that I wasn't completely alone in this (even though I know it's very common). We did talk to the director and now on 4 days of the week there is one teacher who greets and holds my son after we say goodbye. She's not in one day a week, so the director greets him that day. He's still crying when we drop him off (we're in the middle of the second week) but hopefully this phase won't last too much longer. (the teacher said there are some kids who cry every day at dropoff for at least a year.)
I am a childcare provider, so I ALWAYS pick up and greet each kiddo.
I did work in a center for a time and the policy there was each child would go from person to person, parent to worker. Each child was to be warmly greeted and held or at least hugged.
I'd talk with the director. These are small people, not cattle!!
Good Luck, M.
This is normal and it should not last more than 3 weeks. I would go ahead and leave and not torture myself. He will be fine. He will adapt, it just takes time.
He is fine and normal.
I have had this same issue with my son. His first daycare was very affectionate and they closed. His new daycare is a home daycare that was recommended but they are not as affectionate and he took a very long time to adjust. When he did I thought great I can feel better about leaving him but now he is back to crying. I don't know what to do. I am trying to make sure he gets all the sleep and food he needs and hope that he is just going threw a new growth of emotion he is trying to express.
I have had many children that MUST be handed from parent to myself or my mother. I get so frustrated when my mother is pre-occupied and I'm busy and think she'll pick up the child. Rarely now, she'll open the door and just stand back like that child is going to be put down. Eventually, they can be. But when is different for every child and bless God, I expect my mother to know which ones should be picked up!
We only care for 4 children at a time. BUT, we have different kids on different shifts and with the part-timers or afternoon betweens, we open the door between 7 and 10 times to let kids in and obviously, that many times to let them out. Imagine for a moment doing that many times over. The workers at your daycare should work better together. I've had to insist on my mothers being more actively involved with morning drop offs. Sometimes she prefers to take someone to school or change some dirty diapers than to greet some of the kids and talk with the parents.
I think you need to talk with the director about having just one main person, 2 at the MOST responsible for his transition times. If they are too big or too under staffed to do so, find an in-home provider instead.
