Neighbors Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!

how about stating when they beg for your girls to come outside, that yes, they can come outside, but if there is drama (and feel free to explain in more depth depending on the situation) then no, they won't be able to play next time. and stick to it. next time they come calling, "sorry, no playing today, you guys weren't able to play nicely last time." don't blame it on them per se, but say in all the kids' hearing, that not playing nice means we don't have playdates. if the rules are clear from the beginning and the consequence is that they can't play together next time (and you stick with it) maybe that will make an impression? just a suggestion...

My kids had playmates (boys and girls) who went into hysterics too.
It drove me nuts.
I used to tell the kids, including my own, that if there was going to be screaming like that, somebody better be bleeding.
Crying and pitching a fit like that for messing up jumping rope or something equally ridiculous...no way.
If the screamers wanted to come over, fine, but I told them the minute I heard crying, they were going home because I wasn't going to listen to it.
I don't think you should spend a minute feeling humiliated and your daughter doesn't need to either.
A kid throwing a hissy fit like that, even at their own house, would have been my cue to leave anyway. I understand you like the mom, but if you leave every time, maybe she'll get the message that other people really don't want to hear it. Especially if people are going to look at YOU like "what are you going to do about it?"
In my opinion, you did the right thing, and left.
We're not talking about little toddlers having melt downs because they didn't get a nap and I'm assuming they are otherwise normal healthy children.
Their mother is probably used to hearing their fits and it doesn't bother her.
That's fine.
I love kids, I'm pretty patient. But the repeated freak-outs over nothing? No thank you.
It's not meant in a rude way.
If someone ever told me their feelings were hurt because I sent their kids home or my kids and I left because their kids were screaming, I'd be sorry for hurting their feelings, but the screaming hurts my ears so I guess it would have to be a wash.
That's just my opinion.
Like I said, be up front with the kids, ALL of them so it doesn't look like you're singling anyone out, that the minute someone starts crying like they've lost a limb or something, play time is over for the day. Follow through every time. If you're at the mother's house and they start up, just say maybe you can visit some other time and go home. You've already done it once. You might as well make a pattern of it.
Serial criers will cry whether you and your kids are around or not.
The only difference will be that you don't have to listen to it.

No offense to anyone. Again, just my opinion.

girls and drama....UGH.
First I do think you should limit the amount of time they spend together.
Second...your house, your rules...6 and 8 are old enough to understand simple guidelines, if they cannot "Play nice, work things out among themselves and control their behavior" then they go home.
I would sit and talk to the mom privately and try to be considerate of her feelings ( Aren't all us momma's sensitive about our kiddo's) I really do not know how that will go over...
It sounds like a very uncomfortable situation, I feel your pain. Maybe when the kids do come to your house you can assist with a very structured activity so that you can help facilitate when the drama starts to spiral. These kids may not have been taught any kind of methods of dealing with peaceful resolutions = )
Good luck to you!

What do your girls think of all the crying and drama? Do they understand 50% of playtime with friends should not end in hysterical crying? Are they weary of the neighbors over-reacting? Taking a break from the continual together time might be a relief to them too. The next time they beg to play with your girls, you can tell them in a nice respectful way, "I'm sorry, but because so much of this group's playtime ends with crying and frustration, we should take a litlte break having you girls play together for awhile, and they try again to see if things don't have to end in tears. You can say it in a way that shows you are trying to be compassionate to their sensitivity, but at the same time, they learn the lesson that there is a consequence for the continual tears and tantrums. Friends may choose to not play the next time. Their Mom cannot "make" your kids play with them. You and your kids have the power not to be manipulated. I don't think even their Mom would be upset with you if you approach it with the angle that you don't wish to see her kids go through such stress from what should be simple fun playing with their neighbor friends. A little break would be best for all, then you can try again after a time.

Sounds like the daughter is completely playing the mom. I would just tell your girls that you'll go over there until she acts up and then you'll come home. If you expect it, you can't be embarrassed by it.

M.

Tell them they can play but if there is any drama she will have to leave. Don't feel pressured by those moms. Maybe I'm just stubborn and aggressive, but I would've been like I will talk to her, but I seriously doubt she was mean from seeing their past supposed fights.

Sorry - but it sounds like you had a great opportunity to demonstrate real parenting! "What happened?" And then reminding your daughter to be respectful or share or whatever and reminding your friends daughter to convey her thoughts and feelings rather than whine and tantrum about it. (you know, giving them the tools to work it out ;-) I believe in the good ol -It takes a community to raise a child... and have been in your shoes (even with the drama queens) - so don't be afraid to intervene and direct these girls to pull it together and communicate and be reasonable. (in a "i'm not on anyone's side" way, of course ;-)