Neighborhood Kids Question - Advice Needed

This is one more reason why I feel (a) parent needs to supervise kids' outside neighborhood play time.

I'd say no and , ask why a police report needed to be filed, it was just a little scuffle between kids not some full blown bar fight between two grown women.
That is WAY extreme and ridiculous.
Broken arm and an the way to the emergency room is one thing but scratched up , no way.
someone needs to make these two moms and kids sit down and find out what ACTUALLY happened and WHY and solve it, filing a police report will not teach these girls how to make peace and negotiate

oookay. i would politely let k's mom know you don't agree with asking an 8 year old to be a witness on a police report. offer to speak to what you saw instead. maybe k's mom is trying to teach someone a lesson? seems kind of extreme to me. i wouldn't want my child involved either. not allowing D to play with K seems enough punishment to me. i would monitor closely if my daughter was out with the group again, too. tough situation. good luck!

I would let your daughter tell her account to the police and let the other mom know that you doing just that, giving her account, and not picking a side, that way in the future your daughter understands to do the right thing even if that means upsetting others, you have to teach kids to get involved when they were involved in something

I would politely declilne and list all of the reasons above starting with the fact she is 8!
Getting on a soap box now - I find the filing of a report completely ridiculous. Kids fight. Period. It is not ok that one was injured, but if the parents worked it out that should be the end of it.
Even if they have bad blood between the two familes - who cares. time to move on. . . they are 8!
I feel attitudes like this exacerbate the litigious society we are in. Don't like someone - sue em, mad about something waste the police's time filing a report. Just talk it out. Life is not always 'fair'- Ridiculous! - exiting soap box now -
So sorry you are being put in the middle of this. I do think you need to be a voice of reason and share your stance that you are friendly with all neighbors and you are uncomfortable with your daughter getting caught up in all of this.
Good luck.

I doubt the cops are even going to write anything down except marking your neighborhood as "one of THOSE" neighborhoods. The girls' moms need to talk to their daughters about getting along. I've had tenants call cops when their little boys (age 10 also) have been in fights on the playground, the cops dont do anything except look aggravated. Teach your daughter not to start fights but let her know if she ever has to defend herself she can. I wouldnt have her noted on the police report, once your name is down on any type of cop report it can look bad, if you were present at the scene of the crime you can be as guilty as the ones that were fighting.

I can understand the point of the police report - the mom is wanting to scare the C%$P out of D. Maybe she thinks the police coming and talking to her will do it. And she is probably right. I highly doubt the "report" itself is what she is after. I have no idea what D is like, but if she is a bully, or becoming one, I can completely understand K's mom's purpose. Think if it had been your daughter that had been beat up. Scaring D into not doing it again simply by having the cops talk to her sounds like a fantastic plan to me. It sounds like nothing else has worked thus far. I must have different experiences with police officers than other people, but I think our officers in my town would be more than willing to come over and "talk to" the girl in a stern yet caring manner, making it clear this is serious business and yet not really taking it too seriously themselves. It takes a village.....

That being said, I don't know that I would let my daughter get involved for the simple fact that you all have to live with all of these people for a REALLY long time. The "report" can still get filed and the cops can have a talk with D without you or your daugther being involved, which is again what I suspect K's mom is wanting in the first place (the "talk" from the cops, not the actual report).

Why not talk to your daughter about it and see how she feels? If she is completely against talking to the cops, then I would say I probably would tell the parents of K that your DD just isn't comfortable talking.

This is really tough! I wish you luck!

This is a hard place to be in. On one hand you need to teach your child that EVERYONE is accountable for their actions. On the other hand to be named as a witness is a great responsibility.

Where does the Mom of "k" hope this police report will accomplish. They all have agreed, D & K are not to be together, so what is the report for? Kids fight, some get brutal, but it happens and I have never seen the police involved, not at this age.

I am sorry but it is up to all three of you as parents to parent/punish/protect your children, the police are going to ask, what Mom of D wants from them and that the kids need to be separated and watched. You are already doing that.

I am sorry I just do not understand the point of the report. Yes a history on file for future cannot hurt, so if "D" continues to be aggressive and hurts people there is a history on file, but minor’s records are confidential so again I just do not see the point.

Police report sounds a bit excessive unless this behavior on D's part continues or gets worse. If necessary you DD can share what she saw and nothing more. I would keep the distance from "D" as she sounds like she has anger management issues.

I don't think I'd let my daughter give a police report unless the other girl needed to go to the emergency room or what not.

S.

If she is not willing to drop the police report let your daughter say what she saw. It might be the wakeup call the other little girls mom needs to get her kid in line. if your daughter sees an accident would you want her to be a witness? morals are taught early not something that just jumps up at adulthood

I don't think a police report is appropriate for a fight between kids. I bit my sister once and drew blood - hey, it happens with girls and boys, but is it police stuff? I don't know the extent of the injuries (you said no doctors involved) but it sounds like the adults are carrying this way too far. I would probably just tell them honestly that if they have any questions about whether D is being appropriately disciplined for hurting another child, I would totally understand if they wanted to talk to D's parents (and I would probably encourage D's parents to talk to K's parents and tell them that they are taking the incident very seriously) but I think a police report is extreme and I would rather my daughter not be involved and I would rather not be in the middle of a neighborhood squabble. They don't need to ask if they can name your daughter as a witness, it sounds like they are just trying to align the neighbors. I would tell them "you make the decision you are comfortable with - if you think you need a police report and the police come knocking at my door, I don't think I have a choice. But I would encourage you to talk to D's parents first. We're all neighbors here"

I would ask K's mom why she is filing a police report. It seems a bit extreme. I think the best thing would be to try and make her stop.

Beyond that, I would let her list the daughter as a witness... along with everyone else who happened to be in the area and saw it. She should be one name among several. Your daughter will learn that it's important to stand up for what's right. It will be a tough lesson. But she should not be singled out to be the only name on the report.

Try to talk her out of involving the police, there really is no point. Tell her you don't want your daughter to be in the middle since both girls are her friends.

Yikes! I personally think K's mom is going a little overboard ~ I don't think I would file a police report over 8 year old girls getting into a scuffle ~ as long as it was just a scuffle. You want to protect your kids from being bullied, etc. but they are still kids. It may be best to sit the girls down together to work it out ~ show them it's not right and help them understand the actions were not acceptable regardless of who started it and who ended it.

I would not let my daughter be part of a police report in this case. You have to do what you think is best for your child regardless of what your neighbors think. You simply need to tell them, you are sorry that the incident took place, but you would prefer she not be involved with a police report, but you would be willing to handle it another way. You also have to determine the children best for your child to be friends with. You may not want her being friends with someone if the parents are going to call the police on her.

Good luck!
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Tell K's Mom very kindly that while you sympathize, that for your daughter, being questioned by police is too scary, intimidating, and it is way more than your 8 year old is emotionally ready to handle. If she intends to go through with the police report, tell her the officer can speak to YOU (at HER house) but please leave your daughter out of it, and do not send a police officer to your house, as your daughter is already so upset to have been in the middle. Once K's Mom thinks about it, I'd be willing to be she will have compassion for your daughter's feelings, and not press the issue.

Honestly, how much investigation and witness reporting do you think police will bother with when faced with complaints of 8 year old children fighting? I would be surprised if an officer contacts you at all.

Getting the cops involved in a scuffle amongst 8 year olds? I would think they would have more important issues to deal with. This is something the parents have to take care of. I understand wanting to scare them straight but that's excessive. I used to have a "friendship" like that when I was in jr high where we too would end up in fist fights every two weeks or so. I mean real fights. No cops were ever called. We were left to handle it ourselves. Now if more than just fists were involved, yes the cops would have been contacted I'm sure. Now I know times have changed and we have to be more careful but these are 8 year olds and this type of situation should be able to be handled by the parents. I would strongly try to talk to the mother of K to not file a police report. What can the police really do anyways? Not a whole lot seeing how they are only 8 and this is the first occurance. She is acting out in anger which is totally understandable but a little common sense needs to take place here. I'm not sure about what you should do about having your dtr as a witness. If she did, then that would cause issues between her and D. Her and K may stick together leaving out D altogether. D may have caused issues and may have started it but this might do more harm. (thinking of their age and their sensibilities at such a young age) But then if you don't allow your dtr to be listed and give her side, you aren't really teaching her that she needs to be a good citizen. So I guess in that case I would have her report what she saw if it comes to that. If D or the mom confronts you or her about it, I would just explain that your dtr didn't mean to hurt D in anyway, she was just reporting what she saw. That's a tough one....You got me thinking. Good luck!

No, I would not let my child be involved in the police report. They are children, and it is overkill at this point to involve the police. I might document and date the incident, take pictures of the injured child etc. The dynamics of these girls relationship have been changed by the addition of new girls and given D's temperament, they probably need more supervision until the girls can be taught by their parents to work through these emotions. It is hard when "your" friend gets a new friend.

Wow, glad I live out in the country without any neighbors!!
I would not allow my child to be listed as a witness! She is only 8 and doesn't need to be involved in the drama.

Police report is a bit extreme. The parents can grow up a bit themselves and deal with the matter themselves. The punishment should be Apoligies, no playing with each other for a bit( probably just jealously that started it) and then supervise playdates til the trust is back. There is enough useless lawsuits and cops have better things to do.

Filing a police report over two 8 year olds getting into a fight is assinine and I would very tempted to voice that opinion to K's mama. I would also keep my kid out of it. Niether you or her need that drama.

I would say no police should be involved. At this young of an age if the parents can not control the daughter then further steps need to be taken. Girls will be girls and fight more than boys. Girls also hold things against each other longer than boys do. I would keep your distance from the neighbors. Discuss with your daughter what happened and what to do if it happens again. I would also discuss bullying with your daughter since that is now a big thing. If 5 girls got along great before this I wouldn't be too concerned. Again, I don't think the police should be involved unless the daughter's parents cannot handle her any longer.

Try to keep you daughter out of this. Calling the police is too extreme. I would have concerns about my daughter playing with either child. What if your child accidentally broke something at their house? Will they call the police for vandalism?
I understand that bullying is a problem. But where is the line for normal kid behavior where they are learning what is acceptable and what is mean behavior. Seems like so many are willing to punish the bully pretty harshly. What happens when someone says your child is the bully and you disagree? Too bad your kid is punished harshly too. I don't understand why we are willing to toss these young lives away. These kids are still learning. Many adults do things that if they were a kid would be considered being a bully. No consequences for them. Sorry the calling the police thing is just out of line. Set me off!

And they say our girl drama will only get worse as they get older! LOL! (I have an 8 & 10 year old).

OK. My first thought after reading this would be no, I would not want my daughter involved in a police report. However, if you need to give the neighbor an answer whether or not you will allow, I would just tell her if she is calling the police they will decide if an 8 year old is allowed to be on a police report. That might ease her. The police might now even come and ask you or your daughter about the incident. You could always call the police station (non-emergency number) and ask them if they are called by your neighbor would you have to have your daughter be a witness. Also, since it happened yesterday, the mom who was going to file a police report just might have been blowing off steam and by now might realize that filing a police report is a little over the top.

I hope your "mama drama" will end peacefully!

I know you have already made your decision but I would just like to add a little tidbit :). I was involved in a fight when I was about oh...12ish. The parents of the other girl filed a restraining order against me which we fought and won and the order was removed. A lot of wasted time for a lot of people all around if you as me, especially when you consider that some two or three years late, the other girl and I were the best of friends haha! She even went on several family vacations with my family and I was a much welcomed houseguest at her family quiet often! Anyway, I hope the mom doesn't call the police and cause more undo drama!