Neighbor Wants Me to Watch Her Child?

YOu don't need to get into any details or long explanations. Be brief and firm; I'm sorry I just cannot accept that responsibility. Good luck.

You should defintely just say no. Don't take time and attention away from your own children for someone else's. Her children are her obligation, not yours. Hope it works out!

You HAVE to say no! In your request you wrote, "I don't want to watch her son" You are doing her a favor by saying no, she may not realize it but does she really want someone to watch her child that doesn't want to?

It is NOT your problem. You have your hands full. Do not feel bad.
M.

Hi Cloe,

Just let your neighbor know it's asking a bit much from you and that it's a liability issue you can't afford to deal with. After all, you have 2 children of your own already and that another child will wear you out. You may feel bad saying 'no' to her, but you'll feel worse if you do end up babysitting her son and things worsen at home with the two boys fighting. You can offer to help her look for someone else to babysit for her. But don't feel bad for saying 'no.' I know it's hard sometimes but your children come first.

I know what you are going through...I am a stay at home mom, and both my neighbors on either side of me wanted me to watch their kids (one neighbor has a boy, and the other has a girl). While they are both very nice children, I felt that staying at home would really limit the activities I could do with my daughter. Luckily, at the time, I became pregnant with my son, so I could use that as an excuse, that I was too tired and what not. Like everyone else, we make sacrifices so that I can stay home with my kids and I didn't feel it was fair to be limited by watching other kids...In your case, I believe you just have to say that it's not something you can do at this time. Two kids are enough work for one mom - I know it's hard and awkward, but you'll be happy you stuck to your guns. Good luck!

Wow, that's tough, especially when it's a neighbor. BUT, your children (and YOUR sanity) come first. So, you could say something about your two being a lot for you to deal with at the end of the day, and three would really be a strain on YOU. How about, "Sorry, I just can't help you out this way, but is there something else I might be able to quickly help you with?" You surely don't want to get yourself stuck with any long term duty - doing what you do is more than a full-time job! Good luck! Cathie

Don't do it if you don't want to or you will be miserable! I did the same for a friend a few years ago and it put a big strain on our relationship. I was resentful and I felt she took advantage of our friendship. Also my daughter acted terribly when the baby was around in order to get my attention. I finally had to tell her it wasn't working out, which was harder than just saying no in the first place. People can ask anything of you, but you don't have to agree. Just politely tell her that you don't think you can handle all 3 kids at the same time and that you need to focus on your family. You don't owe her a long explanation and you don't need to feel obligated. Her childcare is her responsiblity not yours.

You need to be straight with her. If you feel bad, perhaps you can tell her you can help her once in a while, but you can't have this "on your plate" more than a few times. However, you might be opening Pandora's box if you say "a few times" b/c she might take that as to mean whenever she needs it. Be straightforward and honest without being rude.

Your time is valuable too...and your sanity.

Just explain as you've explained here. Use a "nice" tone of voice and don't seem apologetic, just state your situation in a polite way.
It's obvious it would be a burden... on you and your children etc., especially since her son and yours do not get along. If it were me, I would not want to put my own child in that situation in order just to please the neighbor. And not to mention the trouble of transporting all of them as you've explained. It's just not a pleasant scenario it seems.
Stick to your instincts... if you do not want to do this, stick to your belief. You are not obligated. Sometimes, saying no, is in the long run, a better option... because if you do go ahead with babysitting her boy... it could turn into more problems and then how would you handle that? You could potentially have problems with her child and yours, and she could be picky about what you do in her child's care and start to "control" everything you do in your home since her child would be in your home etc. Is that what you want?
Baby sitting is a "job" when you do it for another Parent... I have done that and it's not easy. Not to mention figuring out what "compensation" you will receive for it and all the complications that can arise and if they pay or not on time.
For me, since I have done that in the past myself, I would not want to do it again. It was just too stressful and on my kids too.
You will get lots of suggestions here I'm sure. This is just my opinion and what I've experienced. Good luck,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

I babysat a child that I did not really want to and it was HORRIBLE! I was grumpy all the time and dreaded every day I had to babysit. I was tired every day. I think it's a lot more work and worry to watch others children than your own. If you don't want to watch him, say no. Say it nice say it mean, say it anyway you have to, just say no. Your family will be a lot happier. I was amazed when I stopped watching the child at how happier my whole family was.

Telling her that you don't have room simply begs for her to find a solution to that problem, which is possible.

Just tell her that you feel like your hands are quite full with the two you have, and that watching 3 will put you over the top in terms of the time and sanity that you have available.

I could easily appreciate a friend who told me that she simply didn't feel like she could handle three.