Neighbor Relations

Hi Z.,
I have three children (6, 3½ and 2 years) and also live on a busy street. We have neighbors on one side of us who are young (30 somethings)and musicians and on the other side is a family with two young children as well. Two doors down are some 20-30 somethings that have summer yard parties often.

I think we've all learned to respect each other's different types of "noise" and the timeframes in which they occur but it's taken some doing. Last year our "musician" neighbors had a loud and long summer party. We were very disturbed and eventually called the police about the noise. This year, they had it again but came over before and let us know it would be happening, invited us over and promised to turn it down at 10pm (the legal noise ordinance "bewitching" hour). We were very impressed and had they gone over the 10pm timeframe, because they approached us first, we would not have minded at all. We were able to plan with our kids, change rooms to the other side when they slept,etc.

I guess that's my long winded advice to you. Approach them (either in person or by letter) and let them know in advance when you'll be having an event. Let them know if you are being too over the top to give you a call and you'll try to bring it down a notch. Don't make promises that can't be kept. It's so important to be comfortable in your own home but keeping your neighbors happy is key as well.

Good luck and enjoy the summer outdoors!

Hi Z.,

The first thing that popped into my head when I read your request(besides how fun it was lol) was what the other moms said: go over and ask them if the noise bothers them, and/or ask if they'd like to come over and join in. Or, barring that, let them know that you'd appreciate if they told you if they were being bothered by your "noise."

I like what one mom said that if they've lived there a long time, then you probably don't phase them. I'd add that if they *do* notice, they are probably thankful that they don't have to deal with things like young guys in their underwear hanging from the widowsills with a beerbong in the mouth, or "girls gone wild" parties, where you're concerned. That your gatherings are much quieter and more fun.

But like others said, kudos to you for thinking of others like that. The world would be a MUCH nicer place if everyone was even a fraction as considerate of their fellow human being.

Best of luck,

K. W

Hi Z.,

You are very considerate to be thinking of your neighbors. As already stated, I would speak to them directly, and a "good neighbor" gesture of a freshly baked banana bread or muffins wouldn't hurt either. :) You could also bring your child over to meet the neighbors. Sometimes it helps for retired folks to put a face to all the "carnival" noise.

Beyond that, I would suggest looking into local ordinances so that you know what the legal noisy times are. If they're especially late, you can try to move outdoor get togethers inside by 9 or 10pm. Maybe 11pm on the weekends? I think you can decide what you think is considerate of your neighbors, but also is appropriate for your family's needs.

You could also look into planting some bushes, small trees, or some potted trellis in your backyard (depending on size) that might muffle the sound a little better. We find that helps muffle the conversations between our house and our neighbors--especially useful with our dinners on the patio with all this great evening weather. :)

Good luck and very kind of you to be so considerate.

Hi Z.,

We also live the UW area and are a very loud family too. People have said that my youngest is the loudest kid that they have ever heard! My oldest, would never stay with me anywhere but I could always hear him. I thought that people would see this little kid and wonder where the parent was. As long as I could hear him, I knew where he was. My husband, too is very loud - he sometimes scares kids that come from a quieter homelife. (I'm not loud and sometimes the noise level is just too much that I have overload - I remember once when I was visiting my in-laws, they are even louder than my husband - I had to leave and go hide in the recently deceased grandmother house. I could hear the family coming down the street and I hid under the window so they wouldn't know I was there or they would have come in - I just needed to get away from the noise for a little bit).

I can hear when the kids are all playing down at my neighbor's house about 1/2 block away. We don't have a lot of kids in our neighborhood - mostly students - who may or may not care and a few older people. The older people have stopped by and said that they get a lot of enjoyment seeing the kids playing.

I guess if you're worried and feel comfortable talking with your neighbors, I would just ask them if the noise is bothersome and if it is, come up with a mutual solution. If not, I really wouldn't worry about it. Maybe they can't hear anyhow or it might not bother them.

Hi,
I like the idea of a hedge.. it is a great noise barrier.. we just put one in and we live in Maple Leaf off a busy road.. Also it is great you are thinking of others :) I think there is a difference between having people over and noise in the summer.. versus kids screaming at the top of their lungs while playing.. I grew playing outside alot.. my parents have a back yard pool.. the one thing the nieghbors always were grateful for was my parents had a no screaming rule... also every once in awhile we would bring a hot dog over to our older neighbors and they loved the surprise and the dinner..
Best of luck,
lenc

31 year old mom of a 5 year old and 2 year old

Hi Z. - I agree with the other moms about going over and introducing yourself and all that good stuff. I wanted to share a little story. I am one of 5 children, I have 4 younger brothers, my mom is a nut! When we moved into the Bothell area we moved into a house right next door to a retired couple as well. At the time my brothers were 2,4,9,11 and I was 13. We went over and introduced oursleves, my mom gave them our phone number and they were great neighbors. Once, my parents were gone and my brother had his music blaring and Ted (the neighbor) called the house and left a message, "Now Joel, I KNOW your parents would not be happy with the volume of your music...TURN IT DOWN!!" Needless to say he got in trouble. They also turned out to be my youngest brothers surrogate granparents (my grandparents passed when my brothers were VERY young), going to grandparent days at school and coming to family parties. We went and sang christmas carols to them every year! I took care of them as old age hit (cooking, cleaning, and helping bathe and dress) and was very saddened when they passed. My point is, some older folks are great neighbors, just introduce yoursleves, be respectful of 10pm (when everyone needs to be quiet) and you may find that they are a great older couple for your kids to know. L.

Z.,
I know your neighborhood. I grew up there and now live in Greenlake having just moved from Fremont. I'm certain I have been the "loud" one on the block before and I've also had "loud" neighbors. My advice? Gt friendly. If you're having a group of friends over for a BBQ, let your neighbors know in advance. Drop in and tell them that you know your house sometimes gets "loud" and would they please feel free to call you if it gets to be too much for them? Give them your phone number. If you really want to befriend them, invite them over at least once. Then relax, enjoy yourself, and let them decide if it's too noisy for them. If they ever do call to ask you to keep it down,send your child over the next day with a hand picked bouquet of "I'm sorry." Chances are, compared to the frat party houses in the area, they think you and yours are a dream.

My goodness that was a long prelude to your question. Have you bothered to talk to the neighbors to see if you are actually a nuisance? You need that info before you can do anything else.

Thank you for caring. I wish more neighbors were as considerate.

Have you talked to the neighbor about the noise and see if it bothers them. If they have lived in your neighborhood for a long time they might be use to it. I would even try inviting them over for some of you bbq's. They might be a great addition.

Consider planting fast growing evergreen cedars for a noise break. Or if you can find a deciduous tree that would work too I am sure. The other thing you can do is make them your friend and invite them over to one of your gatherings. Ask them if the noise makes them uncomfortable.

Z.,

I applaud you for thinking of these neighbors. It seems like society in general wouldn't give them a glance.

My thought is to go over to them a few days in advance and let them know that you are having your friends over and it will probably be pretty loud. Give them warning and ask if there is anything you and your party can do to not bother them. At the very least, this way you can give them warning and let them choose to either be in the house, or maybe go to a movie or get out for awhile while y'all are at your loudest.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

Can you hold the dinner sessions earlier in the day say mid afternoon and after 9:00 move them inside the house? Why not talk to your neighbors and let them know your concerns? Perhaps they enjoy the noise of the area as much as you do and there isn't a concern. Or, maybe they enjoy traveling and are gone a couple of weekends a month and you could try to coordinate your get togethers when they're out of town. Either way they would probably appreciate your talking with them to let them know your concerns. Talking with them doesn't mean that you have to follow their preferences, but it shows your neighborly concern about them. Have you and your friends ever considered pitching in for a babysitter to watch the kids for the night and going out to dinner? This may be another option that would cut down your dinner time to once a month.

Good luck!
E.

If I were you, I would go to them and make friends and tell them basically what you have posted. Chances are if they live there and you are not the only noisy ones, they are not too offended since it was going on before you got there. Let them know you are doing your best to respect them and give them an open door to come to you with problems.