Negative Comments About Having a Third Baby Girl

Maybe you should just say "We are THRILLED to be having .....another girl!!"

That might give others the hint that you are not disappointed and hopefully it will clue them in not to offer their sympathies or negative comments.

Congratulations!!

I can't wait to read the 46 responses, but I have to get to work right now. But I wanted to add my 3 cents worth. Having a son is not a guarantee of a family name being carried down, and we all know that. Many children have passed before their parents, either from accidents, illness, serving in a war etc...
CONGRATS on another baby girl! They are so much better than boys ;)
~A.

I have two girls, if i got pregnant again (which is likely) then i would LOVE another girl. I would get these comments too (knowing my friends) and id say.

"Im absolutely thrilled to have another girl!"

i would mean it too, having two girls is great!!"

I have three girls too, and all I can say is "get used to the insensitive remarks" and "don't take them personally." When it comes to all-one-sex families people seem to develop a really horrible case of foot in mouth syndrome.

People are going to "feel bad" for you. People are going to make tampon jokes and how all of the girls will go through PMS at the same time. People are going to make hormone jokes. People are going to comment on your "poor, poor outnumbered husband" and how he'll "never ever have the son he's always longed for and deserved." People will ask if "even the pets are girls or are they at least boys so that Husband can have a boy around." People are going to makes comments about All The Drahmahzzz!11!!!!!1 girls cause, and maybe even stick their foot in further when they say they're so relieved that they have all boys so they don't have to deal with Girl Drahmahzzz!!!1!!!zomg! People are going to comment how you'll never ever get to walk a son down the isle and how many weddings you're going to have to pay for instead. They'll keep on asking how long you'll wait before "trying for that boy" as if that were the goal the whole time and as if your sex life were their business.

And every single person thinks they're being original and witty and funny or poignant. Little do they know.

I learned to reply to each and every comment with, "Wow, I can't believe you actually said that out loud." And then I changed the subject. Comments like those don't deserve to be responded to any further and they certainly don't deserve to be discussed. What do people expect? You're pregnant. It's not like there's a magic button to redo it all, as if you would do so anyway.

A pretty reliable response would be "I'm thrilled, myself!" No need to "teach" people – they are revealing the thoughts they would have if they found themselves in your situation. It is really about them, not you.

If you want to be happy, be happy! People really hope to say the right thing, but often what pops out first is anything but. You and I have made the same mistakes, and sometimes we realize it too late and scold ourselves and worry about our idiocy for the next two weeks. Sometimes we are just happily oblivious.

People will always be people. No fix for that. Congratulations on your wonderful news!

I think you need to tell people you are happy with your girls and tell MIL that if she wanted a grandson so badly to "carry on the name" she should have had more kids to spread out the gene pool.

do not let idiots be in charge of your joy.
khairete
S.

I would re-read what you are concerned about... then, fast forward to when your daughters are grown and come to you with the same concerns you are having. what advice would you give to them?? you'd probably suggest that they NOT waste their time or energy on the petty things in life or the petty comments people make. who cares if you aren't having a son... really, there are so many other things to feel hurt about IF hurt is how you want to feel..
let the small things go... feel blessed you are having another child and as for your mil or anyone else... next time BEFORE anyone even gets a chance to make a comment, cut them off at the pass and let them know how happy you feel about a third baby girl..... by doing that, you won't allow room for negative comments.... and if they do comment, then back up your happiness by saying, oh we feel so blessed to have a girl... boy or not... we are just happy to be so fortunate to have another child... I mean.. you are feeling crappy about something that you don't even have control over.. therefore, why put the energy into something you can't change.. I know , easier said than done.. but you've got two girls to raise and another on the way.. toughen up now.... you are the role model for those girls.. be strong... you got it in you..
blessings

Sorry... :( I'm one of three girls myself and really was not disappointed to find out that our third was going to be another boy as well (I think all one gender is as adorable as any other combination). I don't think people will make rude comments, at least not the "I'm sorry" kind of rude, but they might make jokes. I've had people say "It's like 'My Three Sons," or "Two more boys and you'll have a lineup," or "Are you working on a football team?" and "Maybe if you have one more you'll have a girl--you make cute enough boys!" I can make most comments into a joke, so it might be easier if you just expect some remarks and have a few light-hearted comments waiting. I've even told people I was half-hoping he would be another boy.

Besides, just shrug and point to your husband and tell them to talk to his little swimmers or something--they're the ones "making the decision." :)

Congrats on having another girl!!!

Congratulations!!!

My 3rd baby was my 3rd boy, and every once in a while I would get, "Aw, you didn't get your girl. So are you going to try again?" :/ Truthfully, the 3rd was a surprise, so it's not like we were even intentionally trying to have another in hopes that we'd finally have a girl. Sure, I was hoping for a girl when I learned I was pregnant, but I love my little boy and wouldn't trade him for anything. Luckily, it was never friends or family that made those kinds of comments, so I was able to brush it off.

I think your DH needs to sit down with your MIL and tell her how her comments are hurting your feelings. I'm sure it wasn't intentional. Sometimes people just don't think before they speak. My MIL & I get along really well, but when I was expecting #3, I found out she and my FIL didn't like the name we had chosen for our baby (Christian). I was really hurt. Looking back, I think pregnancy hormones were making me feel more emotional about it than I would otherwise have been.

I wish I had some great come back for the other people, but I didn't then either. I just told myself they were having a dumb moment and tried to let it go.
Very best wishes!! :)

Oh, Christina, you made me laugh!!! "To your MIL, tell her that if she is so concerned about the family name being carried on, you'll be sure to instruct all three girls to get pregnant while single in order to give their babies MIL's family name." Too Too funny!!!!

I add to that, remind your MIL that the male determines the babies gender so she needs to complain to her son about the lack of male progeny.

Anyhoo, C. P - just ignore all the negative nellies. You are happy, your hubby is happy, your daughters are happy - so who else really matters.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!!!

God Bless

People are horrible like that. And the thing is-I do believe that they know it is hurtful-most of them at least. Particularly the ones with some of both. I can't help but think they are gloating.

What you should do is tell people that are rude enough to make that comment that you are glad it is a girl actually. Esp if the person has boys-use that opportunity to say how you much prefer girls-no offense. I would also mention that same sex children are MUCH MUCH closer than mixed. Just a fact. I have seen friends of ours with mixed and almost always the kids really don't bother much with eachother. On the flip side-same sex siblings, esp those within fiver years of eachother, are eachothers best friends and playmates. So truly-if you had a boy he would have been odd man out. Your three girls will have eachother as besties for life. That matters more than whatever parental satisfaction you would have taken from having both sexes.

Its a natural response. If you already had 2 boys, and were having a 3rd boy, they'd be sorry that you weren't getting your little girl. You are NOT a lesser woman for not having a son. Its actually the guys contribution that decides that...

Some responses:
"Hubby said I couldn't have another man in my life!"
"We flipped a coin and he lost"
"Hubby didn't want me to have a reason to go shopping"

(since gender is supposed to be due to the guys body temp at the time)
"I guess we should've spent some time in a warmer location"

Good luck.
M.

Didn't read all the responses but...

Next time your MIL says something let her know that she's more than welcome, and that it isn't too late for HER to push another kid out the lady parts and give birth to another boy child who could perhaps try to get a grandson with his wife to carry on the family name through that route :)

When people say "I'm sorry," just give them a blank stare and say, "Why? Did you do something bad?"
If they say something along the lines of "Too bad it's another girl/not a boy," say, "As long as it's not a goat, we're satisfied."
To "You'll get a boy next time," just laugh and walk away. And keep laughing as loud as you can until you know they're out of earshot.
To your MIL, tell her that if she is so concerned about the family name being carried on, you'll be sure to instruct all three girls to get pregnant while single in order to give their babies MIL's family name.

Just so you know, it's the man who determines the sex of the baby NOT the mommy. Maybe mother in law should tell her son to try a little harder.

Another healthy baby, Thank God!

Congratulations on your new baby!

You know what you need to do, just smile and say, "well we are thrilled, we want a healthy baby., I hope you can also join us in also being thrilled."

Have your husband remind his mother to keep her comments to herself. She should know better than making comments like that to a pregnant mom.

We got the same stupid comments when we found out I was pregnant with our 3rd girl. I would usually say something along the lines of, "We're just glad this baby is healthy. We don't care what sex it is." Which was completely true. We were actually relieved not to have a boy - we would have to buy all new things!

That would usually shut people up. Others, I would just stare at until they felt uncomfortable.

Congratulations on your third daughter!

You could always reply with "Yeah, well... good things come in 3's" Or "You can never have too much of a good thing" :)

Ooor... you could be a bit snide about it (hee hee hee) and reply with "Yeah, we thought about doing a trade-in, but God only sends them as-is." (Make sure you have a really sarcastic voice, or someone REALLY dim might take you seriously...)

We take healthy and living in our house. Here are the stats. If you have two of a kind there is an 87% chance that the third baby will be the same gender. With the 4th baby it is 50/50 again.
"Sorry you are so rude. We are happy to be having a third daughter."

I have 4 daughters. People said a lot of clueless things. My Uncle said that he felt I should know what birth control is by # 4. Most everyone said that I couldn't try for a boy forever when I never cared one way or another. But I never took it personally. It is what it is. People do keep trying for the sex they haven't had. A lot of people are very offended by big families. I had a complete stranger get on my case at the dentist office one day!

Wanna know something cool? I do have a grandSON now! :) What a trip. I never knew the first 2-3 weeks with a baby boy were so yucko! LOL. This boy drenched us all over and over. I always thought the television shows made too much of all that peeing.

Let it roll of your back. It'll never change :)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Ummm your MIL is a beast! Gosh! Sure the "family name" may be important to some people, but golly can't some people just be happy about somethings?? If she really wants to get upset, tell her to talk to her son and his equipment. They are the ones that determine sex.

I just had to add my 2 cents' worth. I am the third girl. My mom was distraught when I was born--she didn't know men determined the sex of a child. I was the one who took care of her when she was dying with cancer. I had 3 girls, too. I am close to all of them, but closest to #3. I believe God gives us what we should have, either as a help or as a learning experience. I loved having my 3 little girls, and I love having my 3 adult daughters!

Congrats! I too have been through all the comments. Don't worry, if you would be having a boy you would have the comments too....'finally a boy', 'finally got it right', etc... people are rude no matter what.

In my spiteful mama bear attitude, I would point blank ask them 'why are you sorry'. Maybe if they said it out loud that another girl is something to be sorry for they would watch what they say. And, if your other two girls are not there, I would say 'yeah, it sucks. Can't wait to have this baby so I can give it up for adoption and try again for a boy'. That will shut them up.

Otherwise, I would say, especially if your two girls are there, 'we love the two girls we have and cannot wait for another. We will have the perfect family.'

And just wait for the know it alls that think you can get a gender next time by doing 'x,y'z'. Like you said, there is NO guarantee. And it is always a 50/50 chance, no matter what. Mother nature is pretty accurate that way.

That's just stupid! I can't believe people sometimes! I am so happy for you! If we could have another one, I would want another daughter... :-P I already know how the girl thing works. Not that I would be disappointed with a boy, but as long as the baby is healthy, it's a wonderful gift!!!

I would just tell them you were hoping for another girl so you could start your own women's movement or girl band. :-P

Maybe they were under the impression that you really wanted to have a little boy at some point in time. If these two individuals are your friends, then you should know where their heart is at. It's possible that they didn't mean to offend. It's hard to say the right thing at the right time sometimes. If you have ever stuck your foot in your mouth at some point, then you know what I am saying here.

I get how disappointed you are with their comments and it would be perfectly okay to tell them that has been the case. But really think about this from their perspective and decide for yourself if maybe it is worth cutting them some slack. Try to see their perspective if possible. Some fights are just not worth having. I'm sure that when the rest of your family and friends find out that you are being blessed with another baby girl, you will receive a wide mix of responses and most all of them will be supportive and loving.

Congratulations on your new little angel. I hope all goes well with your pregnancy.

WOW! I am in a very similar situation to you. I have two boys and am 3 months pregnant with my third child. This one was also not planned so no, we were not trying for a girl. I just laughed when I read your post. I can't believe how insensitive people can be! I know that if we have another boy people are going to say stupid things like "Oh no, you didn't get your girl!". I could care less if I have a girl or a boy!!! Like it's such a burden to be carrying a perfectly healthy baby. After having several miscarriages before my first was born, I was just glad to have a healthy baby. To be having a third is such a thrill! I just wanted you to know you're not alone. If mine is a boy I will be listening to many of the same silly comments. Just enjoy your little one. As long as you and your husband are happy, who cares about everyone else? Congratulations on your little girl!!!!!!

My first reaction when I saw your subject line was to grin---I have three beautiful daughters and am SO GLAD!!!! I love having three children who are sisters, I've loved raising three girls--and believe me, they are each very different souls and personalities.

We purposely did not test for gender when I was pregnant--I wanted to be surprised--and I honestly would have been very happy either way but THOUGHT I was carrying a boy. Since I didn't know myself whether my baby was a boy or a girl, neither did anyone else until after she was born. But we did get lots of people speculating. My very favorite? A beautiful young woman at a festival we were at, who was walking arm in arm with two other young women--all dressed up as fairies--and when she was asked what she thought I had, she grinned and said "Fairies always come in flocks of three! So you're having a girl."

I loved that, and that has been my response ever since when I've had people comment on my three girls. We call them "The Triangle Chicks". We loved that, by the third time around, there was nothing we needed to buy, all the wonderful very expensive handmade toys and clothing we managed to collect and save over the years has been handed down, the older sisters themselves have handed down things like dolls, clothing collections, and special jewelry to the youngest one as gifts. And, by the way, you don't have to figure out all the "issues" that come up for the other gender--just deal again with girl issues.

But as I read your post, I found myself wondering why people would act the way they are with you, and where you are from...yep...Texas. One of the places I've spent time in my life where the sexism is still SO rampant in so many ways. Who CARES if there is no "boy to carry on the family name"? There are plenty of WOMEN who keep their name when they marry.

This is all just silly. I'm so sorry you're going through it. But what I'd recommend is that, instead of telling people what your baby's gender is, figure out first why they want to know. It's nothing you HAVE to know or tell!

Have a wonderful third pregnancy--birth is generally easier now that you know what you're doing, too.

Sometimes silence speaks volumes. Congrats on baby girl #3!

I have three boys (the youngest just turned one) and I get all sorts of rude remarks too! When I found out my second one was a boy, I'll admit I was disappointed, but by the time he arrived I was elated to have two little boys. Knowing the odds, I expected the third to be a boy, and he was. He's the perfect complement to our family and there will be no "trying again." My mom probably made me feel worse than anyone else when I told her #3 was a boy. She said, "Well shucks. I was hoping for a girl, but oh well. We'll love him anyway."

Anyway, congrats on having your own perfect family of three beautiful girls!

I also have three kids. I received some unusually comments when I was pregnant with all three kids. What I detested the most was strangers touching my stomach. Then telling me how HUGE I was. I felt like a beached whale already.( I am normally a tiny bit overweight but usually look good in clothes.) What was I supposed to say..goes thanks I was not aware I was that big. I feel so much better you brought it to my attention.
I think sometimes people just dont know want to say. So instead they say something foolishness that can also be hurtful. Just be gracious and smile.
Oh and congradulations on your third wonderful girl!!

I have a girl and a boy, and when pregnant with #3 (another boy) was asked on numerous occasions - something to the effect of "You already have a boy and a girl - why do you want anything more?" Between that and variations of "you know what causes that" comments it really pointed out that for some people the idea of having more than 2 kids makes them uncomfortable.
For the record, I always wanted 3 - and I have never cared what gender they were! They are all entertaining little people - which is what I was interested in!
So, not much advice, other then to point out that it is others insecurities that lead to the stupid comments.... And, I agree with the others, when the baby is HERE - then there will be no more comments about #3's gender. (The comments about #4 may start though!) Hugs - enjoy your little girls!

We have 3 girls, and then the boy. (No, we weren't "trying" until we had a boy.... we just felt it was time for another baby.) Back when I was pregnant, it wasn't common to know the gender of the baby before birth, so I didn't know until they were born which I was having (except the 4th.... I did get an ultrasound and the technician said he knew what it was, waiting for me to ask... I did call back the next day).

Anyway, after daughter #3 was born, a neighbor commented "Surely you're not going to try again for a boy!" Well, who was "trying", and was it any of her business? (She was the local gossip of a very small town...) (I say of my 4 kids, that 2 were "gifts" (not 'surprises' or 'accidents')and 2 were "requests". The first was a gift, the second was a request, the third was a gift, and the 4th was a request. Frankly, we were just happy that they were healthy babies.... as a friend of mine commented (she had 4 boys and 1 girl), "I guess the Lord just gave me what he knew I would do best with!"

I enjoyed having the 3 girls... they could easily wear each others hand-me-downs, and I didn't have to keep buying new wardrobes every year for each child! Heck, when the boy DID come along, he wore the pink sleepers at night.... the color didn't matter to me.

It is too bad that some people think that a family isn't complete unless you have 1 of each..... as far as a snappy come-back.. sorry, I really don't have any advice, other than to tell them that you are very happy with what you have received.

Maybe it is the way you are answering their question that is making them think you are disappointed? "We are having Girl number 3" could suggest that maybe you want a boy. Maybe you should say "We were hoping for another girl and someone heard us"...
Edit:
Or you could say "We were kind of hoping for a boy so we are going to name her Dave".. Just make a joke of it. If you were sort of hoping for a boy and got a girl instead it's not the end of the world as you well know... so just dont let it get to you. The main thing we all should always be concerned with is that our child, no matter what sex, comes out healthy.... the appendages are just gonna be what they're just gonna be :)

I have 4 kids and get sarcastic remarks all the time. 2 boys and 2 girls and people are always saying wow don't you know what causes that? I have finally come up with a great reply. Yes I do and I am pretty good at it! Enjoy your third girl. All children are gifts from God and there is no "right' number or sex.

I enjoyed reading this! I'm expecting my second, a boy, and our first is a girl--who we absolutely adore. It gets under my skin when people say, "Oh that's wonderful, your husband must be so excited!" As if he would have been upset to have another girl.

We have three boys, three girls. #1 and #2 were boys. When I was pregnant with #2 everyone started with the "hopefully it'll be a girl!" comments. That made me so upset. Then when I was pregnant with #3 they were REALLY bad. I just wanted to tell everyone to bug off. God blessed me with three children--what would I CARE what their gender was??

So I understand your frustration to some degree.

Then, funnily enough, after #3 was born (daughter) everyone started telling me how much they pitied me, and how difficult it would be! HELLO?

Then it was #4 boy, #5 girl and #6 girl. Now everyone's telling me I should "quit" because I have a perfect half and half. WHAT? I can't understand some people! If God decides to bless us with more children, then I'll be thrilled to be the mother of them!

To those that said brothers and sisters aren't close...My 11 and 7 y/o sons are super close with my 9 y/o daughter. The three of them are practically inseparable. (of course, my 13 y/o and 11 y/o are also inseparable and they're both boys)

I have 3 girls and could not be happier!!! I have twin girls (8) and when I got preg with my #3 - I was HOPING for a girl! Sure a boy would have been fine...but we are such a "girl house!!!" I have people ask me if I am going to try 1 more time...I answer - "Why would I??? I love having 3 girls - a boy would make things wayyyyy too complicated!!!" You are so lucky to be having 3 girls! It is the greatest and if I had my pick, that is exactly what I would have chosen!!! The next time someone says they are "sorry" (which I have been told too) just be sure to tell them that is so far from how you feel - the thought of 3 GIRLS is the BEST!!!!! Congrats!!!!!

The sex of the baby is determined by the man! You cannot be l
"less of a woman" for any reason about the sex of a baby. You cannot be less of a woman even if you cannnot have any babies! Do not let these people undemine your happiness! A baby's sex is not a deciding factor in happiness...that is crazy! Okay, I realize I have been rather harsh, but those two people don't have a clue. I should not matter if this is you 19th baby girl, as long as, she was created in love. Good luck with your new addition and enjoy her for the precious gift she is! She may even be "your boy"...i.e tomboy or Dad's shadow.

I have three WONDERFUL girls! The first two are 14 months apart & my third 5 yrs from the second (my attempt to have a boy as well). I only wanted a boy because my husband is a hunter/fisher etc. a boy to hang with for "those" kinds of things...to my delight this obviouly didn't matter, they can be girlie girl (all three of them) & then hunt, fish, & play sports etc with the best of them!
It threw me back that someone would actually say that to you and your MIL especially, but combat rude with kindness makes them feel horrible. Just tell your MIL, "obviously not, but you will have three great girls" . (of course inside you can think... but you won't if you keep making comments like that because we won't come over! LOL) JK, sometimes people say stupid things & don't realize how much they hurt the other person's feelings...(like you have control over the sex of the baby), My favorite come back was "God has blessed me with a healthy baby to be another addition to our family & I'm SO excited". Once they see your excitement the sex of the baby will not matter! Congratulations ! Only YOU can let someone make you feel bad OR you can pass it off as how stupid what that person said to how little they know!

Well I just have to say that people can be so stupid! I am pregs with number three also :) I have two boys and I would love a girl! But if I find out I am having a baby boy, I will be so happy and if anyone tries to say anything about my son, if I am indeed pregs with a boy, I will let them know that is not cool!! I am like you, if it is a boy, I just need breastmilk and diapers! So awesome :D Congrats on your third princess!!

I've got 3 precious little girls and cannot *imagine* having a boy. I wouldn't know what the hell to do with him!!! lol

Having 3 girls is awesome. They are all SO different and SO amazing in their own ways. I'm also one of three girls, so I know how special and close sisters can be. All the brother/sister siblings I know are NOT close at all, but the sisters are all best friends as adults :o)

Didn't read other responses, but just wanted you to know - I got "sorry" when I was pregnant with my little boy. Huh? It baffled me - do all women want girls?? I was THRILLED to be having a boy, and that's what I told these people. I guess my point is that some people are just clueless. I think all you can do is laugh!

God bless and CONGRATS!!

I don't have any advice, but just want to say that all the families I know with 3 girls or more are AWESOME! I was always envious of those having 1 or more sisters because I only had a brother that I am not close to. These are 3 lucky blessed little girls! Enjoy your sweeties!

nothing wrong with girls! I have 3 too!!! play dumb to their comments, "what do you mean your sorry? she's healthy" etc

Remind your mother in law that women carry two X genes and the men carry an X AND the Y gene so sex of the baby is determined by the father. So next time she mentions to you she wants a grandson, tell her to talk to her son so he can give his "boys" a stern talking to.

Hi there - to 'avoid' rude comments like 'sorry to hear that'. Maybe you can try another approach to tell people such as: We are sooo excited to have our 3rd girl. We need absolutely nothing and the girls are thrilled to have a little sister.

As for MIL, I wouldn't worry too much about her. I would make it clear that this is the last pregnancy and that would be that! She needs to respect your wishes and means.

Have fun with your 3rd girl - I know it would be a blast!!!

I agree with some of your replys that maybe your 2 friends meant well but didn't know what to say. I kinda got the impression that you may have wanted a boy but of course quickly got excited about adding another girl to your family. If they knew you were hoping the 3rd would be a boy, maybe they were trying to be sympathatec to your possible disapointment. And, obviously your MIL should be happy & supportive of a 3rd grandchild, regarless of the sex. I liked one of the replies given "I'm thrilled" that keeps it simple and clear where you stand on your growing family. Congrats on your upcoming arrival!!!

My sister in law has three girls and I was so offended by everyone's reaction when she found out the third one was a girl. I felt so bad for that unborn baby and worried that she would be treated badly because of the way everyone was reacting. I'll tell you that no one reacted that way once she was born. The rude comments and bad reactions only come when there isn't a sweet baby to look at. Once your daughter is here, everyone will forget the whole issue and enjoy her. I doubt you'll hear a single comment about having a boy. At least for a while, until someone decides it's time for you to try again - lol.

I am a mother of three girls, and am absolutely APALLED that people in your life would react that way. Last I checked, we don't live in China (where boys are valued more than girls). If the folks making these rude/inconsiderate/hurtful comments are people you are close to, then quite frankly you should be completely honest in your response to them. Something like "wow, that was a hurtful comment, we are being blessed with another beautiful child and there is nothing to be sorry about!" I remember one day sitting on the front porch with my newborn second daughter and my ignorant neighbor said "so, are you going to try for a boy? as if having a second daughter was not a good thing. And when we got pregnant the third time, I absolutely refused to find out what I was having because it just didn't matter as long as it was a healthy baby (and if I'm being honest, I really didn't want a boy . . . I loved my girls and secretly wanted to stick with what I knew!). So when daughter #3 popped out -- healthy as can be -- well, that's all that mattered! Girls ROCK!

I have two boys. I got comments too when we found out #2 was going to be another boy. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have found out the gender or at least not told people! People just can't seem to help themselves. I never really had snappy comebacks--I just tried to ignore them. Once the baby arrives everybody forgets and the comments usually stop because they are so excited to see the baby. My mom actually said, "Thank goodness, I don't think a girl could survive in your household." While I was still pregnant another relative, maybe even my dad, asked when we were going to try for that girl! Since my firstborn was extremely colicky and I was nervous about the whole infant stage again I just said, "Well, let's see how this one goes." He was colicky too so we have two boys. I must admit that when I first found out I was a little bit disappointed he wasn't a girl, but since I was considered an older mom I was very happy to learn he was healthy. It's also easier in many ways to have just one gender--sharing clothes, beds, bathtubs, etc. You also kind of know what to expect. Congratulations and just tune out those thoughtless comments!

I'm currently pregnant with #3 after having twin boys. I was so hoping for a little girl. Before we found out what we were having, I would get comments all the time that if it's another boy then we can try for #4. Really? That's a big decision, and we're only having three. I also did not want to have another baby just for the sake of trying for a girl. People just think that everyone should have one of each. Not everyone is meant to have both. Some, like you, are really great moms to little girls. Some are meant to be moms of little boys. We are having a little girl, but I would have been content with another little boy. I am just so thankful to be pregnant again with a healthy baby (and just one baby at that!).

I have 2 girls and when we told people that the second was a girl, we got the same sort of comments, maybe the next one will be a boy. That ticked me off! After our second daughter was born, my grandmother-in-law had the nerve to say to my husband and I that his cousin, "one upped us". We had no idea what she meant because she was talking about how big my husband's cousin's baby was at birth, which was the same as our second daughter, but apparently one upped meant she was better because she had a boy and a girl. We just looked at each other in amazement that people let these absurdities come out of their mouths without hesitation or consideration of who they are speaking to. I'm sorry you also have to deal with people and their stupid comments and I hate to have to tell you that whether you wait to tell or not, people will make stupid comments regardless. But, congratulations on your girl. They are precious and I would not trade a single second with mine!!!

dont mind them.. as long as you are happy to have a baby girl AGAIN.. babies are blessings from God so whether you'll have a boy or girl just as long as it she/he is healthy thats perfectly fine... when i was pregnant the sonologist wasnt able to see the gender of my baby.. my hubby and i decided not to have it checked again so i was praying then that boy or girl i'll be happy as long as he/she is healthy....

dont show them you are disappointed.. let them know you are happy to have a girl....

We get what we get. That's the way it goes. Just enjoy her all the same.

Oh and now I feel bad because a friend just told me she is having another boy and I said, "Ahhhhhhhhh. Well, at least your son will have a playmate he can wrestle with." I wonder now if I offended her with that response? I hope not, but I responded knowing she wanted a girl and she had them not too far apart.

Congrats on your 3rd girl!! If you are happy, that's all that matters! You're smart to not share the gender with anybody else. I would also not share name choices...I shared my name choices all three times, and got negative comments all three times. They made me so angry that I still remember them and stew about them! I had one relative that must have asked me five times if we were sure about the name. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and snapped, YES, we're sure about the name. We announced it, didn't we?" If we ever have a 4th, we're not going to find out the gender, and we're not going to tell a soul what the name is going to be. It should be a happy, joyous time in your life, why let others spoil it???!!

This reminds me of a comment I got from one of my husband's aunts long ago, after I had delivered my son (4 years after my daughter was born). She said, "Oh, now you have a girl AND a boy! How CLEVER of you". I know she didn't mean anything by it, but I felt like saying that cleverness had nothing to do with it! Sorry you've had to deal with rude comments - some people are just DUMB. If I were you, I would just smile and say you are perfectly happy with the 3 girls you were meant to have, and leave it at that.

I think that lots of people assume that having a boy AND a girl is what everyone wants and trying for a third is *trying for that boy*... I'd just respond with, "oh gosh, don't be sorry, we're thrilled!" and if they press it to say "well, weren't you trying for a boy?" then you can say, "we're just happy the baby is healthy." Sometimes people's idea of support is a bit misguided or about other people's on projections.

Congratulations on your little girl!

I'm so sorry for people's comments. I grew up as one of four girls, sisters are the best! If I had two girls and was having another, I'd have been thrilled to have another girl, my "dream family" was three girls. I have one girl and one boy instead, and people have often referred to it as the "ideal family" but it's not what I'd have wished for. I love both my kids to death, but an ideal family would include my daughter having a sister.
My middle sister went through what you did, but in the reverse. She has three boys. She didn't know the sexes ahead of time but when she was having the third, people commented on trying for the girl and after the birth, assuming she was disappointed and asking if she'd "try again." She wan't going to try again, she wanted three children and then she had them.
As for carrying on the family name, many young women keep their family name when marrying, some don't marry at all, others hyphenate their kids' names or give the kids mom's last name or use that last name as a middle or first name, so the name is extended in some form and really, what difference does it make if the name is "carried on"? Even Buckingham Palace is talking about if Wil and Kate have a daughter first, that she'll be next in line after her father for the throne, and not behind the male relatives.

I don't have any advice on this subject, but I want to say that I have experienced tactless comments by others on numerous occasions. It is best to ignore it in my experience. Last year my mom (love her to death, but the epitome of tactless comments) said to a friend of ours at my friend's son's birthday party "I count myself very lucky, I had one of each and they each had one of each, the perfect family for us all". I wanted to crawl under a rock, because my friend is the mother of 2 wonderful BOYS. I could have hugged my friend for just ignoring it. I was so embarrassed and I didn't say anything as I have learned that it is better sometimes not to make a bigger deal out of it and my mom is not going to learn....
Enjoy your girls and have a blast. You have healthy children and you can have children, celebrate that.
I have two sets of aunts and uncles that have 3 girls and it was wonderful growing up with them all.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.