Needy Co-worker

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You are not in a position to help her right now. Since God helps those that help themselves, she really should consider pawning her stuff:) It is really not nice of her to expect anything from you at this point.

No, you're not rude. She's rude for assuming you would pay for her extras. I agree with Dawn and just explain to her that you have no money to spare for her luxuries (if she has the gall to ask).

Good luck!

rude? of course not! she's the rude one in feeling that you are her provider.
would it be unthinkable to say 'gee, esmerelda, your faith is inspiring and i pray it all works out for you! but god has only seen me through with enough food and money for myself, so i'm quite sure that I'M not your solution. can i help you think of some other ways you might get by?'
khairete
S.

Tell her you had to sell your jewelry to make ends meet and cannot afford to pay for her, too. She made her choice and you made yours. If she wants you to foot her bills, this is going to be a long month. Is she a close friend or a good moocher?

ETA: I like that story about the helicopter and rowboat, etc. Maybe remind her that God gave her the brains to figure it out just like you used yours.

UGH, well, "God" gave her jewelry to pawn so she could take care of herself.

Have you heard the story of the man on the roof in the flood? A rowboat, motorboat, helicopter come to rescue him, but he says God will take care of him. He dies, and asks God why he didn't save him. God says, "I sent a rowboat, motorboat, and helicopter..."

http://www.truthbook.com/stories/dsp_viewStory.cfm?storyI...

Tell her that you are barely scraping by, but that you'd be happy to brainstorm with her for ideas on how she can take care of herself. Otherwise, she can go to her boss and ask for an advance or something.

I totally understand how you would not want to alienate the only other woman on a work trip in a foreign country!

One thing I wondered that could make a difference: Does she say outright, to your face and plainly: "I think you should share your snacks and food with me since we're here together" or is it any more subtle and indirect, such as "Oh, that (snack) looks good. I wish I could afford one. Could I have a little?"

If she's flat-out said "I think you should give me some of your stuff" in those terms, I'd wait until the next time she voices it or some version of it and say very nicely, "Sally, I really value having you here but I'm saving the food I bought so that it lasts me over the next week. I'm using it up just one (amount) each day so it's not really free to share -- I've got it parceled out on a schedule because money is tight, as I know you know yourself. I budgeted for this before I came here but it was a budget based on one person, not two. Have you thought about contacting (someone at home) and seeing if they can wire you some funds? Can I help you figure out how to do that?"

If she's being more moochy about it and just giving you the "Mmm, that looks tasty" treatment, as someone else posted -- be sure not to buy any food in front of her or eat any snacks in front of her. If you two are spending a lot of time together due to the fact you're the only women, see if you can spend less time with her or limit outings to things where there isn't food.

If she's expecting you to pay for other things like toiletries or especially leisure activities -- wow, the pure gall. I'd say "I'm sorry but I planned in advance for this expense for this side trip to X, and budgeted for it. I'm sorry if you can't go this time but I've had this item in my budget for a while and have just enough for my own ticket."

If she gets huffy, I guess that could affect things between you once you get back but gee, she knew just as you did, in advance, that she needed to bring spending money!

Please update us here on how it goes. What an odd and unpleasant situation when you're trying to concentrate on work in a different environment!

It amazes me how people use the "God will provide for me" excuse when they make bad decisions where something proactive is required of THEM to fix an issue. Is she approaching you with an entitled attitude or is she asking in a humbled way? I would share some things with her, but you can't carry her for the duration of the work assignment. I would tell her that my budget is tight and I had to pawn my jewelry just to have extra and I am limited to what I can buy for myself. Who goes out of the country with no money? That was not a smart decision. Good luck.

She feels that God will see her through? Well, you are not God, so you don't have to see her through.

Just hide your stuff, and share as little with her as possible. I don't think you need to say anything to her -- that probably won't go well. Now if she's sharing things of hers equally, then that's another story.

Nope, you're not rude.

You are not being rude. If meals are provided, then the only necessities that are not provided are toiletries. I would share those - shampoo, and toothpaste but I would not share my "extras" like snacks. If you are going to the same place at the same time, pay for the taxi. That's it.

God does provide, but he also expects you to do the footwork!