Needing Some Help with Serious Bedtime Issues

First of all, just hang in there! My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 3 1/2. You'll get through this. Try to think creatively. Does it help the colicky baby to rock? If so, put the rocker in the room and rock them both, maybe while you tell a story. Not enough hands to read, but you could make one up. Remember too, your older child went through the same thing at the same age. I assume it's no longer a problem, so you know it will pass. Maybe an older child can spend some time doing quiet things at bedtime with the 2 year old. Try to think of ways different that might alleviate the problem without a child screaming. God's peace be with you. Do the best you can. Remember, children almost always survive their parents. Yours will too.

I know how you feel also. Neither of my children slept through the night until they were at least 2 or 3 years old. We didn't have much bedtime crying, though. I rocked them when they were small, nursed them, read to them, sang to them...tried to make bedtime a pleasant experience. I really liked the comments by Fortinheaven N, and also the idea to rock them both together.

A. :)

Dear A.,
You poor dear! I wish I could give you a hug and babysit for you so that you could take a 3 hour nap! I am the blessed mom of nine (youngest almost 8 and oldest married almost 24)with three still home. I can completely understand the reactions you get with a large family, you must remind yourself of the beautiful gifts God has given you in your children. It is amazing that some people would have no problem helping you with one or two children, but when you REALLY need the help, they have decided to "punish you" for your choice by not helping you. You must not let bitterness take root in your heart over this. If you raise your children in a Biblical way, the good fruit will show itself in time. As they grow, they will always have each other to play with, and support each other ( and argue with...:( ).My children are homeschooled, which has strengthened their bonds of friendshiip with each other.
But, enough philosophising, how about the nitty-gritty?! My oldest daughter was a tyrant at bedtime at about that age. We actually had to tell her how many kisses she would get at bedtime, because she would call us for "one more Kiss". We had to be firm, after we established a consistant routine (which it sounds like you've done). He may be feeling a little put out by the new baby. Just a few extra moments of quiet time with only him before bed might help. Have you tried putting on music in his room for him to fall asleep to? Could he even sleep with his 4 yr old sister, or would that turn into a play time? Is he in the same room as the baby? That may also be upsetting him, until he gets used to the arangement. After everything in his routine has been accomplished, he will need a spanking for disobeying mommy by getting out of bed, or for screaming for you when nothing is wrong. This will probably take a few nights of a few spankings, but "hang tough" and stay in control of yourself,too. You will be doing everyone in the family a great service by instilling obedient behavior at a young age. The baby will not suffer for having to wait 5 or 10 minutes while you handle the 2 yr old. REQUIRE a quiet time ,in the afternoon when all children either sleep or sit in bed with books, when you can rest,too. You need to do that more than you need to put another load of laundry in! Is there a an hour during the day that daddy can cover for you while you nap?
I have a retarded sister and a retarded nephew, I also had a foster sister with downs-syndrome. I know it is not an easy situation, but the small achievements are huge blessings! Your other children will be better people for having him for a brother.
I will pray for you ,A., feel free to email me directly if you need an ear, or an encouraging word.
H.

It is possible that he is just having a hard time to adjusting to the new baby. Children deal with all sorts of issues of stress when siblings are born. If so, maybe he just needs a little extra attention.

My other suggestion is that maybe he is going to bed too late. Bedtime struggles are worse if your child is overtired, so you might try moving bedtime up a bit and see if that helps.

You will survive, but I feel for you. It is hard to be dealing with two kids screaming at the same time, especially if you feel one of them should know better.

M.

First, I empathize with you and I've had sleepness nights also. Have you tried giving him a bath before bedtime? Sometimes that helps to calm children down a bit. THe other thing would be a special nighttime stuffed animal, like a teddy bear or Barney. This helped my son when he was 2 years old. Good luck to you and God bless you with those children. It will get better.

L. S.
www.stcmemoriesfriends.ning.com

If your little one knows how to pray with you, he can kneel with you as you ask Jesus to help him lie down and sleep. Otherwise, hold him close, praying for the Holy Spirit to give him the mind of Jesus--you can hum or sing a song about Jesus as you do this. If he continues to cry, hold him close and continue praying softly in his ear. Continue praying for him while gently holding him. The Lord always answers the prayers of a parent who is earnestly seeking to bring up a child to have the mind of Jesus. Tell him how much Jesus loves him and wants him to lie down and rest. Do you have suppotive church family who could give you a break now and then?

He was the baby before the last baby. He is probably feeling insecure. What works for one child may not work for another. There are good tips. Baby takes a lot of your trime and he is probably just wanting more. Gate sounds good. How long does the colic baby cry before sleeping or is it all night? You might need to have the 2 yr old sit nesr you while rocking baby. Rock baby while sitting on 2 yr old bed. Or go the gate fixing lock so 2yr old can not open and just leave in room screeming. The screeming can not help the colic baby.

My prayers go out to you. Do you have any church friends for help?

have you considered leaving him up for a little longer. get the other two to bed and have him on the couch in his jammies. If you daughter went thru this as well, you know it is just a stage. then I would let him sit with you while you are taking care of the baby. He is still a baby too and you said if you didn't have the new baby you would handle this differently. I understand how you feel, my hubby travels for a living and I grew up with a dad that worked nights. Being a sahm gives you the flexibility to stagger bedtimes etc. just make him the last one and give him a little more lovin' . I know it is frustrating and I know that later you realize the yelling etc is only making it worse. If he had the vocabulary//emotional maturity he would tell you. Good luck

Do you have a gate on his bedroom door? I suggest following your same bedtime routine, and then locking a gate on his door so he can't get out. In 10 or 15 minutes if he is still screaming/crying, go to him and tuck him back in bed, tell him goodnight, kisses, etc. But don't let him out of the room. Don't linger in the room either, be quick, just get him back in bed & leave again. Wait another 15 mins, etc. Might take him a few nights, but he should get the point.

Good luck!!

sorry babe! hang in there. what about letting him sleep with the four year old sister? it really helps ours, even though they do stay up a little bit later playing together. also, try reading "the no cry sleep solution " byt elizabeth pantley. even if you are ok with a little crying, she has tons of good ideas for helping them sleep. the toddler version of the book might be better for you. i don't know how old your two year old is, but maybe explain that he can fall asleep in his bed then move to yours later, or fall asleep in your bed, then move him to his when he is asleep?

I am not sure what to tell you about the sleep thing but can help with the colic... it is going to sound really icky but it worked with my son really good.. get you an onion and boil it and take the juice and add a little sugar to it and let it cool to where you can give it to him and let him drink it. the little green onions work better than the regular yellow onions but they work to.